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Broken by Yasmin93
Chapter 10 : Chapter Ten - Sorry
 
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Everything seemed to go in slow motion as Brooke's wide eyes followed Sirius' body falling closer to the ground. The ability to move had completely escaped her as her beater bat slipped through her fingers, following Sirius' path. Her mind wasn't able to focus on anything apart from the space between Sirius and the pitch decreasing with every passing moment. The wind in her ears was blocking out any sounds around her making it impossible for Brooke to snap out of it.

It took James speeding past Brooke on his broom to finally bring her back to reality. Her dull blue eyes focussed on James, taking in his almost white face and wide eyes. The urgency that filled his face to get to Sirius before it was too late tugged at her heart.

Moving her eyes from one best friend to another they landed on Lily who looked composed, calm and collected as she sprinted from the sidelines reducing the distance between herself and Sirius as she fumbled for her wand in her robes. Just behind her was Marlene who looked as though she was screaming Sirius' name over and over again.

Despite everything Brooke still couldn't will herself to do anything apart from hover where she was and watch the nightmare unfold before her. No matter how much she told herself to fly towards Sirius she couldn't do it. It didn't matter how much James would need her there, her body was not listening to a thing her brain was saying. Overbearing guilt washed over her as she watched as Sirius seemed to be falling quicker than James could get to him.

"ARRESTO MOMENTUM!" Lily's scream reached Brooke's ears diverting her attention to the red haired beauty on the ground. Lily's wand was in hand, aiming directly towards Sirius. Her face was full of unwavering concentration as she watched the rate Sirius was falling reduce instantly; much to the relief of everybody watching.

James' feet landed on the floor just mere moments after Sirius landed with a soft thud, flinging his own broomstick harshly to the side. The scene of Sirius initially falling off his broom flashing through his mind over and over again. Thoughts of what would of happened had Lily not been there took turns in playing out in his head. For the second time in three days he found himself worrying for one of his closest friends which was enough to send his mind into overdrive.

Snapping out of her trance, Brooke pushed down hard on the front of her broomstick sending her whizzing downwards as she rushed to James' side. She too threw her broomstick to the side and went to James side who had sent Marlene to get Madam Pomfrey, her hysterical crying was going right through him. Giving her something helpful to do had seemed to calm her down a touch.

Lily was kneeling next to James, whispering soothing words in his ear as he panicked about his best friend. Still unable to get his head around what he had just seen, he was struggling to even register everything that had gone on.

Brooke knelt down on the other side of Sirius as she watched his chest gently raising up and down to calm herself down. "He wasn't looking." She murmured, still shocked that Sirius had been hit by the bludger which had been sent in that direction by none other than herself. "Why wasn't he paying attention?" Brooke couldn't look at her two best friends in the eyes, not even noticing that they weren't bickering for once.

James moved his attention from Sirius to Brooke as he took in the look of her face, trying to figure out her thoughts. He had spent a lot of his time doing this over the years. It didn't matter how close Brooke was to him it wasn't often that she opened up to him. The both knew that Brooke trusted him, she just didn't know how to open up; especially if she had done something she knew James wouldn't agree on.

It was Brooke's inability to tell James things when she knew they would disappoint him that often caused problems between the pair. James could tell her until he was blue that by avoiding it she would only make it worse; but that never made her capable of building up the courage to do just that. Thankfully, James had learnt all of Brooke's tells and she didn't have to say anything for him to know what she was thinking, to a certain extent.

His face dropped almost instantly as he took in her morose state. Her eyes had completely lost all of their life, making them appear a dull grey/blue rather than the bright blue they seemed to be when they were full of emotion. She was unable to tear her eyes away from the body before them, which told James exactly what she didn't want him to know. "What did you do, Brooke?" His voice was harsh and demanding.

Finally plucking up the courage Brooke moved her gaze onto James'. However, she soon regretted it when she was faced with a look of disappointment that she hadn't seen from him in a very long time. "I...He...It was an accident." She stammered, feeling more deflated the longer she looked into those brown eyes that once made her feel so safe. "He should have been paying attention." Brooke's eyes fell back to Sirius as tears threatened to cascade down her face as she realised what she'd done.

James stood up, anger filling his eyes as he looked between his two best friends. One, unconscious on the floor after what could have ended with his life. Then the second, guilt apparent on all her features as she took in the state of the guy in front of her. "You have got to be kidding me!" James was unable to push the rage to one side. He knew that he needed to handle Brooke carefully, but after everything that had gone on he just couldn't bring himself do it. "I thought you outgrew this years ago!"

Brooke mumbled an apology as she continued thinking about what she had just done, trying to figure out why she'd let it get this far. She knew James was right; she had outgrown it. Or she thought she had.

It had been a long time since Brooke had let her emotions get the better of her; but once upon a time it had been a regular occurrence. Especially when it came to Sirius. The amount of bludgers she had sent barrelling towards him on purpose was impossible to count. All those times though Sirius had known to be on look out and had never even been clipped. Brooke's anger had almost lost her James numerous times when they were in fourth year so she had made a point of sorting it out so she wouldn't lose control again. Yet there she was, looking down at the still body of someone who had done nothing but tried to look out for her since the start of the year.

Lily put a soothing hand on James' hoping it would calm him down. "I'm sure Brooke has a valid reason for-" She spoke softly to try her hand at defusing the situation.

"I don't need people fighting my battles all the time!" Brooke interjected causing Lily to jump at the outburst. As anger clouded her mind again she smashed her eyes shut and took three deep breaths hoping it would level her out but had no avail. Her eyes shot open as she glared at her friends. "I screwed up! And do you really want to know my reason?" Brooke's eyes were darting between the two, pointlessly hoping neither would want the reason.

All the hoping and praying in the world wouldn't have been enough to get James to drop it. "Yes, I want to know what made you think it was alright to try and kill one of the people that I care about as much as you. Especially after all he has done is try to get along with you. And not even because he wanted to! He did it because I asked him to!" James knew that what he was saying was just going to make Brooke feel worse but in that moment, as much as he hated to admit it, he didn't care.

The first tear escaped the safety of her eye and slid slowly down her cheek. Brooke found she was suddenly getting more and more uncomfortable with the company she was in; not sure she even wanted Lily to witness this. Deciding that she could trust Lily with her life she continued despite her doubts. "He found something out about me and was trying to make me tell you. He gave me a couple of hours to do it before he told you himself." Brooke admitted, no longer able to look at James' angry face. "I guess I just thought that this would give me a bit more time." Her head hung like a child's would whilst being scolded.

Suddenly James felt himself calm down a little at those words, knowing how difficult it would have been for her to open up. Especially if it was something she didn't want anyone knowing; and even more so if she was being forced to do so.

A part of James always got annoyed at the fact that Brooke couldn't tell him everything; and it had taken him a long time to accept that it was always going to be that way. He knew how much of a private person she was about things, and unless it was completely necessary she would keep her cards very close to her chest. He'd never quite understood what it was that made her that way though, as her parents were two of the most open people he'd ever met; but she'd been that way for as long as he could remember.

Brooke took a deep breath as she looked back into those brown eyes, completely forgetting that Lily was even stood next to James. "He found out I had been in contact with Tommy."

Instantly at those words James' eyes went from understanding and filled back up with rage at the mention of his old childhood friend. The friend that had not only betrayed him; but betrayed his family too.

As Brooke looked at James, trying to figure out how he was feeling fear ran through her bones. Fear that after everything they had been through this was going to be the one thing that actually drove James away. She wondered if it would even matter that they loved each other like brother or sister after this.

"After everything that him and his family did, you still had contact with him?" James asked exasperated, to which Brooke just replied to in response. "It wasn't just my parents they did it to! They're your family too!"

Lily took this moment to give the pair some distance, not wanting to get involved in what was basically family drama. She made her way just far enough away that she was out of earshot as she continued waiting for Marlene and Madam Pomfrey.

The tears that Brooke had been trying to hold back since the first tear had slipped down her face had finally spilled down her cheeks. She brushed them away roughly with the back of her hand and sniffed. "He wasn't there J." Her voice cracked as she looked at the shock on James' face. "He was with me that night." A light pink tinge reached her cheeks telling James everything that he needed to know so she didn't have to go into detail. "I wouldn't have been in contact with him had I not been 100% sure." Relief washed over Brooke as the burden of having hidden her relationship with Avery was lifted off her shoulders.

James' eyes were open in shock as his brain worked in overdrive to process the information he'd just been told. "I told you what happened that night, B. I heard him at my house. I know his voice." At that moment he was too shocked to feel anything else; that had been the last thing he'd expected to hear. "Besides, why wouldn't you tell me if that was true?"

Brushing away the last of the tears, Brooke managed to stop any more from cascading down her face. "He asked me not to." James was barely able to hear her voice. "You know what his family is like. Just imagine what they'd do to him if they found out he was with me."

This time it was James' turn to sigh as he teased his already messed up hair. "Then how do you explain me hearing his voice, Brooke."

Brooke automatically shook her head. "You must have been mistaken. He was with me all night." She wasn't having it anymore. She knew she was right. Seeing someone trumps hearing someone in her mind.

James scoffed and held his head in his hands. "You really need to sort yourself out, B." He looked at her with a face full of sadness as he looked the broken girl stood in front of him. "There is only so much more of this that I can take. You could have killed Padfoot, all because he was looking out for me. I get you've been through a lot but that is no excuse to go back to your dark place. Use your friends to get past this. Heck, use Sirius to get past this. Surely by now we've all proved that we can relied on, especially considering everything you've put us through."

Brooke nodded her head as she looked down at the ground unable to push down the feelings of shame. She had hurt James in ways she would never have imagined hurting him all because she had no self-control. It had always been hard for her to control it anyway considering she was an impulsive person who never thought of the consequences of her actions; but now things had gone one step too far.

Before either of them could say anything else Marlene and Madam Pomfrey were running past Lily to get to Sirius.

"What happened?" Madam Pomfrey asked, her voice was sharp. Kneeling down she pulled her wand out and cast a spell before moving it up and down his body to find out where he was hurt.

Brooke was about to relay the details of what happened but James beat her to it. "Sirius was momentarily distracted, but it just so happened that it was just as a bludger was heading his way. It smashed him in the ribs, I think, before he fell off his broom." He explained as quickly as he could knowing that Madam Pomfrey was not one for slow, long explanations, especially when there was work to be done. "Lily broke his fall with a spell so he shouldn't have received any damage from the fall."

As Madam Pomfrey was levitating Sirius to transport him to the castle she turned to Lily. "Well Miss Evans, it appears you have just saved this boys life. You did the right thing." And with that she levitated Sirius to the infirmary with Marlene quick on her heels.

James turned to face Brooke taking in the, yet again, fragile state of Brooke. "Listen, B, you can't keep coasting through life like this."

This time Lily wasn't going to back out of the intervention to help her best friend. "Ja...Potter is right. You're just going to end up pushing everyone away." Her eyes were soft as she tried to get through to Brooke, hoping that it wouldn't seem like her and James were ganging up on her. "What you did today, that's not the Brooke we all love."

Brooke stood there, forcing her annoyance down at James and Lily both turning on her. Even though she knew they were both right it didn't make it any easier to swallow the bitter pill they'd handed her.

"I love you B, I really do." James was trying to keep his voice soft but was struggling, the urge to leave Brooke there and run after Sirius to make sure he was okay was too much. "But one more stunt like that and you're off the team. You pull anything like that again and I don't know if I'm going to be so understanding."

The breath Brooke was holding was slowly released as soon as she'd realised that James had yet again put up with more from her than she'd ever expect anyone to.

"You have a lot of apologising to do when he wakes up." James directed her, adamant that she would push aside her pride for him. "And then you're going to give him a break. Do you understand?" Having finally had enough of being torn between two people he decided they would have to try to get along for him.

Brooke nodded and mumbled a yes.

"And make sure you grab Sirius' broomstick please. Put everything away." James ordered as he started walking to the castle with Lily, her hand rubbing his back for a brief moment until she realised what she was doing. Then she yanked her hand away and put some distance between herself and James.

* * * * *

Breakfast wasn't going down too well for Brooke the following morning, as she sat on her own in the great hall having not seen any evidence of her friends all morning. The bags under her eyes had darkened a shade, revealing that she had, once again, not had a good nights sleep. It was the barking laugh of none other than Sirius that drew her attention from the bit of toast on her plate to the entrance of the hall.

The sounds of them were heard long before they appeared through the doors, but surely enough in walked Sirius and James, side by side, followed by Remus and Peter. All of them were laughing and joking as though nothing had happened the previous day.

Sirius' grey eyes locked onto Brooke's. He gave her a knowing look and a sly smirk as they neared where she was sitting. Making a point of sitting directly opposite her, Sirius started digging in to the eggs and bacon.

"From what I've been told I owe my very good nights sleep to you, do I?" He said without removing his eyes from her as he shovelled food into his mouth. He knew by the end of the day she was going to be ready to knock him off his broom again but he couldn't stop himself from winding her up.

Unable to keep herself from cringing at the sight before her, she pushed her plate away from her having decided she was done with breakfast. This resulted in yet another barking laugh from Sirius. "Listen, I'm really sorry about. Well, you know."

"You're just lucky James got to me first." His eyes flicked over to James who was now sitting next to Brooke. "Bringing up past mistakes to make me go easy on you." Those same eyes landed back on Brooke who was just staring at him not sure what to say.

She knew James would do something to try and make sure things within the group hadn't been affected too badly by what had happened but she would have never thought that Sirius would just accept it like that. He wasn't one to let things go if he felt like he had been wronged.

"I will make it up to you." Brooke spoke softly, not able to look Sirius in the eye. She had never been one for apologising, even more so when she was surrounded by everybody listening; but she knew she had to swallow her pride and get it over and done with if she wanted things between her and James to be alright.

They all knew just how forgiving James was, even when he probably shouldn't have. James was only human though, and even he had a limit. It was getting to that stage where Brooke knew she was going to have to be careful. She couldn't risk testing where that limit was after everything that had gone on.

The look on Sirius' face made Brooke feel uneasy and regret mentioning making it up to him. From it she could only assume that he would make sure that she did something she was never going to enjoy doing.

"Give us a kiss and I'll say we're even." He couldn't resist adding a wink at the end.

Brooke scoffed loudly and looked directly into his eyes, her own eyes were cold and dull. "Even if you were the last man on earth. No scrap that, the last person on earth with me, I'd rather go and find myself a troll to kiss."

A new idea obviously flashed through Sirius head as his smirk grew wider revealing his pearly white teeth. "That can be arranged."

Brooke rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag before saying her goodbyes to James, Remus and Peter before heading out the great hall and making her way to the library. It wasn't long before she heard footsteps running to catch her up. Turning around disappointment washed over her as she identified Sirius.

"What do you want, Black?" Her voice was cold again as she refused to stop, despite him telling her to do so. Suddenly he'd pushed her behind a tapestry and was blocking her way out so all she could do was press her back against the wall. "What do you think -"

Sirius took a step closer to Brooke so there was practically no gap between the two of them. His arms instantly rest against the wall, on either side of her head so that there was no way she could escape. He slowly brought his lips down to her ear so that she could feel his breath on her.

Her breathing hitched at the proximity, his breath was leaving goosebumps on her neck. Next thing she knew her heart was crashing against her chest at the anticipation of what was coming next.

"Don't worry about making it up to me." His voice was low and seductive in her ear. "I'll get you back for it, Anderson. I just won't be stupid enough to get caught." He pulled away from her ear and moved to look into her eyes with his now cold, malicious eyes.

Brooke shoved him away from her and barged past him to get away from him. She'd known it was too good to be true. Sirius Black didn't just let things go. She should know, she was exactly the same so she should have expected it.

As she walked to the library she couldn't help but wonder about the sort of thing that he was going to do to get her back. She had almost killed him, surely he wouldn't do the same. As different things ran through her head she couldn't help but worry as she thought back to the prank he had played on Severus the year before.


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