Chapter 4 : Dream Another Dream
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I had to push all thoughts of a certain raven haired girl out of my mind.
I HAD to.
There was no other way around it. You see, the more I looked at her, the deeper I fell; into a pitch that I could only descend into, not climb out of. She had me captivated; with every movement of her body, with every word she spoke, the sway of her hips, the black waves that cascaded down her back. Merlin, I wanted her.
Images of her from a certain morning stayed imprinted in my head. For the first time ever since Izzy had become Isobel Lestrange for me, I saw her in a dishevelled state. Her appearance was uncanny and unfamiliar for her pureblood status; out of place. Her ancestors would be turning in their graves. She looked so gloriously beautiful in her plain clothes and tousled hair. I had never seen her like this before. Her clothes had always been perfectly tailored to compliment her body and pose her stature in all its ostentation, yet I preferred her the way I saw her that morning, free-spirited; assertive.
It’s how I imagined her to wake up next to me in the morning.
Her skin; so smooth and creamy, as the hem of her cotton shorts brushed against it, was spotless and pale, one might think twice before reaching out and touching it; afraid they might taint its perfection. Her hair was pulled away from her face into a messy bun, stray strands escaping from the tie, as they blew in the wind and occasionally into her face, caressing her red mouth rarely.
Her lips. Merlin. Her lips. Cherry red against her pale skin; plump and full; teasing me. I longed to trace the outline of it with my thumb; to touch and appreciate every time they would move to insult me, insinuate me. I loved riling her up, watching her smirk, waiting for her wit to find its way through the crowd to address me; her anger would feed the spitefulness and I’d find this a challenge to rise above.
Maybe I was a masochist, for I stayed deeply rooted in the pitch I’d fallen into, not once climbing out, only fuelling the sparks of a quarrel from where I was trapped.
At least this way I got a reaction out of her. It was the only reaction I got out of her.
That is why I had to do what I had to do. I pushed the blonde further into the bookshelf, pressing my chest harder against hers. My hands roamed her body, tracing her soft curves, her skin hot against my fingertips; the thin fabric of our shirts the only barrier between us. My tongue battled against her, she pulled hard on the roots of my hair and one of her legs curled up around my waist holding us together firmly in place. I heard her moan into my mouth.
My tasks for detention had been shuffling around, from the hospital wing, to the potions classrooms, to the library, which is where I currently was. It had been a week since the Saturday we had hexed the Slytherins. Those slimy bastards had decided to fly around the pitch the first day back. I though back fondly at the memory.
A week later now, it was a Saturday again. Today the detention was at the library. That’s where Sarah or Sandy or whatever her name was had been waiting on me to monitor my tasks for me. The books that had to be placed back lay ignored as I snogged the living daylights out of said Blonde.
However, my thoughts kept reverting to one particular raven haired girl. Izzy used to be my best friend. Now, she was the girl whose favourite hobby was to be repelled by me. For every step I took forward to her, she took five back.
And so now I took a step away from the girl whose throat I had my tongue shoved down. Her lips were swollen, she heaved breathlessly. Her blue eyes were dark with lust as they stared back into mine. I turned away from her wordlessly.
You see, that’s what my problem was, I couldn’t escape her, even if I tried. My attraction to her was bordering onto obsession. It drove me over the edge how unattainable she was when once she had been more than within my reach. Every time I’d use my man whorish way to distract myself, to push thoughts of her out of my head. But nothing worked, no amount of pre-occupation could vacate my mind from her. Matt joked she was secretly drugging me with Amortentia, Fred claimed it was because she was perhaps the only one I hadn’t touched.
But thats where they misunderstood. I did not want to just fuck her. I mean, partially yes, I wanted to, but that was not it. There was more. She was an unsolved puzzle, always poised and poignant. Yet I had seen traits of her that defied the perfections. Just as now.
As I had exited the library I had left behind a confused pick-me-up at the end of the day, my thoughts had made me lose track of time and now it was past curfew. I had been wandering the halls idly; I started to notice the lessening of people around the castle. Now, it was past curfew and with aid of the map I was navigating myself through the castle to avoid being caught. I did not have the cloak, Albus had borrowed it.
It was then, as I folded and unfolded the map to check my route that I found her dot, out of bed, breaking the rules. I’d repeatedly found her out of bed during the past seven days, wandering the castle, aimlessly or not, I never knew.
I never knew what went on in her head, there was a reason she was the mastermind of our pranks.
My feet pulled me to the where she was, my mind acted robotic to her association. There was no right or wrong, there was only one way, one path; that always led me to her.
Amidst a cluster, I found her perched on a rock, observing the still waves of the Black Lake. The moon was glistening behind the clouds, dimly illuminating the surroundings. I could make out her form perfectly though, she was wearing those shorts again, and a tank top that didn’t leave much to imagination, the curve of her back was obscured with her robe, that hung carelessly around her shoulders, dangling over her arms. Her hair fell in waves around her body. I saw something pressed between her fingers; ignited, puffs of smoke escaped her mouth, confirming my assumptions.
I leaned against a nearby tree lazily. Crossed my arms over my chest, smirk in place.
Let the games begin.
It was the same dream.
The same dream, the same sequence of events, the same penetration of light and the same feeling of fear and asphyxiation.
Every time, I’d wake up gasping for air, taking moments to orient myself, until the warmth of my bed would return me to my surroundings; my mind would remain hazed and take time to clear up.
I was covered in sweat; my cheeks felt flushed, the sweat made my hair stick to my forehead and neck. I pushed the covers off from my body and treaded into the bathroom, splashing my face with water; beads of it trickled down my face instantly cooling my skin, leaving goose bumps in its wake.
I stared in the mirror, my appearance horrified me. Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe again, I felt claustrophobic as flashes of my dream came back to haunt me. The bathroom walls started to grow in on me, the space felt smaller and smaller with every second. I escaped the bathroom, grabbed by robe and my wand off my bed stand and walked out of the head’s dorm.
I had had recurring dreams before, but this one particular dream seemed to have been progressing as time passed by, I’d feel more emotionally attached every time. It was the same sequence of events that kept replaying in my mind for the past week now.
A ray of light.
A single ray of light.
Materialising as you stared at the blinding light.
Bound in shackles, shrivelled and fragile.
Stepping out to meet your gaze.
The hazel orbs I’d look into would appear more and more dead every time.
A hollow laughter would resonate in the vicinity.
Then a scream would fill the air.
For a long time, I’d only seen a ray of light and a silhouette of a figure. The figure had started materialising recently. For a week, each night, the figure materialised.
Each night I’d wake up drenched in sweat, fighting to breathe back normally.
Each night, I’d escape my room, leave my dorm and wander aimlessly.
I pulled my robe around my body tightly as another wave of goose bumps came over my skin, the dream would always leave me shivering, cold. I dragged my feet to wherever they took me, but the high ceilings of the castle didn’t dissolve the ever persistent claustrophobia. Deciding that the walls were still suffocating me, I stepped outdoors.
The still night air was cool once I was out in the open; I stuffed my numb hands into the pockets of my robes. My fingertips met another surface instead of the plush fabric. I pulled out the cigarette box, reading the label for lack of anything better to do. Much like a reflex action my feet dragged me to the edge of the lake, where I found a spot comfortable enough to observe the night from.
I lighted the cigarette with my wand, inhaling the scent of tobacco, till it hit my throat and filled my lungs. I closed my eyes, savouring the moment, enjoying my isolation.
One after another, I kept lighting the cigarettes in the box, until I had had three. By the fourth one, my mind started to feel clearer, my nerves felt calmer and ironically, my breathing came out steadier too, until a voice seeped through the still summer air, jolting me back to reality, out of my trans and quickening my heartbeat as always.
It didn’t particularly help that this voice was the same one I had heard scream not long ago in my dream.
‘It’s not really healthy, you know.’
I heard the soles of his feet pad against the ground as he pushed his way towards me. He settled down beside me on the cluster of rock that I was seated amongst. I felt warmth radiate off of him as he got within close proximity, I stayed firmly where I was.
‘I thought you no longer broke rules.’ He said again, encouraging me to converse.
‘Old habits die hard.’ I supplied curtly. I could imagine his posture; hear the smirk in his voice, but I refused to turn to him and spare him a glance. As much as I had wanted to, I did not.
He was witnessing me again in my dishevelled state, twice since the year had begun. My mask was off in these moments, I wasn’t what the world expected me to be. I wasn’t Isobel Lestrange, I was just Isobel, strongly opinionated and free spirited, a side of my personality I barely got to showcase.
‘The new ones are more intriguing.’ His gazed followed the cigarette.
I took two final drags before putting it out against the edge of the rock. I finally turned a little sideways to meet his gaze. I let my eyes wander over him for a while.
‘You’re one to talk for new habits.’ I commented, referring to his disarrayed clothing, I assumed he was out on one of his late night shenanigans. My assumption seemed to have hit the mark; something in his eyes changed. Maybe my assumption wasn’t much of an assumption, but something else.
‘Only in your dreams.’ I replied in a dead tone. My heart was beating furiously in my chest.
‘I did have a dream. It involved you and me in compromising positions.’
My cheeks flushed as James words registered in my head. I hoped the dark of the night obscured this from his vision. I quickly looked away and stared ahead at the still water.
‘Dream another dream, Potter.’
I pushed myself off the rock, my head felt mushy and I couldn’t think straight. James words had left butterflies in my abdomen. My body was tingling with warmth. I needed to distant myself from him immediately.
James grabbed my wrist as stood up to turn away from him.
There was no doubt in his voice, only affirmation. I suddenly felt vulnerable and weak.
‘Yes. With your head.’ I supplied wrenching my wrist out of his grasp.
‘Lestrange! Potter!’ A third voice filled the air. Our heads turned at the intrusion. Amalthea Yaxley stood a foot away from us.
‘Potter, return to your dorm before I can deduct points off of Gryffindor.’
Potter seemed to be torn, he opened his mouth to say something, turned to me, then to Amalthea and then to me again. He decided against whatever was on his tongue, clenched and unclenched his fists, and then returned back towards the castle grudgingly.
Amalthea waited until James was out of earshot, she closed the distance between us; her voice came out in a harsh whisper.
‘Are you out of your mind?’
She clutched my arm fiercely, her nails dug into my flesh. I wanted to wince in pain but refrained myself.
‘What if someone else had found you? What if Crabbe had come down? Or Nott had? You’d be ripped apart limb by limb, after they had tortured the life out of HIM right in front of your eyes.’
This time I openly winced at her words. The dream came back to haunt me again.
‘Go. Go back to your dorm. And don’t ever forget what I told you. This is the only way to keep Potter safe.’
Her warning resonated in my brain again, echoing around my skull. My head felt light again, buzzing. I obliged Amalthea’s orders as she escorted me back to my dorm.
‘But I don’t want one.’
‘You kind of don’t have a choice.’
I saw as Rose grew more and more frustrated; she rested her head down on her arms, onto the dinner table and ignored the others. Scorpious who sat next to her, stroked her red locks affectionately as consolation.
‘Oh I know.’ Rose said looking up brightly.
‘We can use it for James birthday. It’s just next month.’
She gestured wildly with her hands, like she’d just come up with the brightest idea of the century. I assumed she was referring to the alcohol the boys had stacked up for the term.
‘Already got that covered.’ Albus supplied.
‘Urgh.’ Rose gave up again and resumed her position with her head at the table.
‘It won’t be so bad.’ Scorpious smiled brightly at her.
Rose raised her head only to give him a fierce look in return which made Scorpious coil back towards his own dinner. Everyone else followed as well.
I silently took my seat next to Edward and the rest of the Slytherins, plus Dom and Rose. I saw that Mike was here too, seated by Dom who sat next to Rose and Scorpious. Ed, I and Albus sat across them. I poured myself some juice, sipping on it thoughtfully. Dom’s hand brushed next to Mike’s as she dished out some chicken into her plate, Dom withdrew it as if she’d caught fire. There was an exchange of glances around the table as this happened. I noticed Mike remained poised like me, giving away no offence or disgust or anything. Dom cleared her throat before saying.
‘Rose, we have this party planned since before school started. We can’t cancel it now.’
‘Party?’ I questioned.
‘Rose’s birthday is next week.’ Scorpious gave me a look for not remembering.
‘Oh.’ I replied lamely.
‘Fine. Then I’m not showing up. You all can enjoy it.’ With that Rose rose from her seat and walked off.
Scorpious let out a frustrated sigh and followed after her. I pressed my fingers against my temples as they throbbed with pain. My recurring dreams meant less and less sleep for me. I tried to push it out of my mind and decided to comment on the current situation.
‘I’m with Rose on this. Why is it such a big deal?’
‘Why is it such a big deal?’ Dom repeated incredulously. ‘What world are you living in? She’s a Weasley. These things are expected.’
‘Do we have to do all that is expected?’
‘Doesn’t matter. We’ve made the arrangements, given out the invites. Too much effort will go to waste.’
Dom's voice was laced with irritation and impatience. Her eyes looked tired and her posture too tense. Could this be about Matt? Just yesterday when I had asked she’d said they were getting better, maybe it was just Rose who had her annoyed. Dom does love her parties.
Silently, she too rose from the table and left in a similar fashion to her cousin. Albus only shrugged in response before returning to his dinner, he had not said a word this entire time. Mike too silently rose from his seat and left after passing Ed and I a smile.
I turned to Ed, we hadn’t talked all day being preoccupied with classes and all. Suddenly I became very conscious of Albus’s presence at the table. The silence around us had changed from comfortable to extremely awkward. Albus got up from his seat to leave not before telling Edward he’d meet him at the pitch to discuss tryouts. Albus was rooting to be Captain next year after Edward, he was Slytherin’s star player. I saw him walk off to the Gryffindor table and sit down next to his brother and Fred Weasley.
‘So, what’s new Eddy boy?’ I asked in a fake bright tone.
‘Small talk does not suit you. Please refrain to only insulting people.’
I huffed in response. Ed only raised his eyebrows.
‘I have hardly had time to spend with you since classes begun, even though we share a dorm.’ I replied guiltily.
Edward gave me a warm smile in response. ‘I know. You don’t have to explain things to me.’
I half-heartedly smiled in return.
‘No, seriously. What’s new? Do you need help with any of your homework? You have tryouts soon, right? Any help there?’
Ed laughed at my feeble attempts. ‘Stop feeling guilty.’
I looked down at my dinner for lack of anything better to do.
‘But I’ve missed you too. And I have to tell you some stuff. Remember Hannah, the sixth year Rawenclaw I told you about in the summer, from my birthday?’
‘Yesss?’ I prompted Ed to continue, I saw his eyes sparkle.
‘It’s about her.’
‘What about her?’ I asked excitedly.
‘She may have said yes when I asked her out for Rose’s birthday party.’
The grin that broke out on my face surely made me look like a cheshire cat.
I excitedly hugged Ed. He had liked Hannah for so long now. Ed laughed at my enthusiasm before returning my hug. I drew back, my hands still on Ed’s arms.
‘I’m so happy!’ I hardly needed to state that, my face-splitting grin was enough for Ed to know how happy I was for him. I was bubbling with excitement, my day had been tiring and gloomy; this had put me in a much better mood.
‘Tell me everything.’ I demanded.
‘Later. Tonight though. I have to meet Albus for the upcoming tryouts right now. I’ll be back in an hour. And I’ll tell you about the offer I got from the Chudley Cannons then too.’
‘The what from who???’ My eyes may as well have popped out of their sockets.
Ed only grinned in response and left the table with a kiss to my forehead.
After completing my patrolling duties, I returned to the dorm. Then, I waited for Ed to return. I prepared tea as I waited. I lay down on the sofa of our common room while I waited. I do not know when I fell asleep there or what time it was when I woke up but it was still dark outside. I checked Ed’s room, it remained untouched. The bed was still made, empty; there was no sign of a change of clothes or any human activity whatsoever.
That’s when I started to freak out. Where was Edward?
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