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A Weasley Vacation by AlecJamesCaius_
Chapter 5 : The Wizard Ninja
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 9


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I know being a Weasley kinda guarantees a very weird life but I'm pretty sure nothing in my whole life has come close to this.

In front of me were to separate rather hairy caramel coloured butt cheeks laying on the ground.

I'm not even kidding. Rose, James and me just stood there, paralyzed. I faintly heard someone screaming his lungs out, and saw Fred in the middle of the library, crying like a little baby, with his hands on where his butt used to be. But even though I took in all this information, I couldn't move a finger. I noticed that James had come out of his state of shock rather quickly though, as he started looking around -- looking for what?

"Dammit..." he muttered to himself as he started examining the wall. Then he suddenly started taking action. He ran over to the containers we were standing a few feet away from, and turned 3 of them around, emptying what was inside. A smell that came straight from hell ensued, but James didn't seem to care. He put the 3 now light containers on top of the still standing ones, creating a staircase. He ran over the container stairs, took a 1,5 meter leap towards the wall and managed to get a hold of the window. He panted for a few seconds, then he jumped again, like your right Wizard Ninja or something, and grabbed the pipe running down the wall. Via the pipe he managed to climb all the way up till he was on the roof of the library, and he disappeared out of sight.

I had finally managed to get out of my state of paralysis. I thought about trying to get Rose out of it, but I figured that'd be way too much of a pain in the arse while I should be helping Fred. I also realized that James, in his hurry to get to Fred, forgot one essential thing. Well, two actually. Wich left me to do the dirty job.

So I grabbed Freddy's butt cheeks, one under each arm, and climbed on the containers (a lot less graciously and athletic than James). I put both butt cheeks under one arm and tried to make the leap that way, but ofcourse I didn't have enough power in my one arm and fell to the ground. Once again I climbed on the containers, but this time I immediately threw the butt cheeks on the roof. Now,with both hands free, I took the leap -- and fell again. For fucks sake. "This isn't the time to fail at stuff. You have to help your cousin Hugo!" I muttered to myself. For the third time I took the leap, and this time I managed to hold on to the window without falling off.

My hair sticking to my forehead from the sweat, I took another leap and managed to grab the pipe. I quickly climbed to the rooftop and joined James, who was sitting next to another window, on the roof this time, and trying to get Freddy's attention. "He doesn't hear a thing I say!" James yelled frustrated. "He's to busy screaming his lungs out! And if this goes on, other people will notice people broke in in the library and call the cops!" I peeked through the window and saw Fred, laying in a small pool of his own blood, but the pool was rapidly growing.

"This is bad," I muttered. How the hell were we gonna get to Freddy? And how were we even gonna help him when we got there?

"If I could just make him snap out of it he could open this damn window and let us in! We can't use magic yet and there's no other way to get in!" James was now helplessly slamming the window in pure frustration. Think Hugo, think! I thought. And then it hit me.

"Shove it!" I told James, who sceptically obliged. As I sat and kneeled down on the window as well, I took out The Deluminator. I pushed it towards the window and a ball of light appeared at the other side of the glass. Using my mind alone, I made the ball hover towards Fred. A centimeter from his face, finally we had managed to capture his attention. As Fred looked at the ball dumbfounded, I made the ball of light fly back to the window, so Fred would see us.

"Open up the window!" James yelled, as I slammed it to show what we meant. Fred nodded. "Alohamora!" He yelled. The window opened, but the glass fell straight to the ground and broke, and James and me fell heads first, right to our deaths.

"Levicorpus!" Fred yelled, just before our faces touched the ground, and pretty much immediately after he cast the spell, he released it, making us fall on our faces afer all. I almost complained about it, but then Fred said: "Help me... Please" and there was only one thing on my mind after that. Fred had never ever sounded so pathetic, his face was complete pain. Also, I noticed the pool of blood surrounding his butt area had enlarged three times, and other things were flowing out of his body now. We were standing in his blood. "So we managed to get in... What do we do now Hugo?"

"Hold up, you're asking me?! Aren't you the James Sirius Potter? Weren't you the savior of all?"

"This is not the time to be a smartass!" James hissed angrily.

"Well its fucking true, isn't it?! You've made me come to completely rely on you in situations like this through the years!"

"Well I don't have a plan this time. So what are we going to do? How do you reattach body parts?" I took a moment to think about if I had learned about such a spell.

"I've got nothing," I said panicky, wiping my sweaty dark brown locks out of my eyes.

"You'd think the bloody number one magic school in England would have taught us some medical magic," James complained. "How the fuck isn't there a Medical Magic class in Hogwarts in the first place?"

"Not the time for that James!" I yelled.

Fred had stopped making any noise, and his eyes were partly closed. On top of that he was incredibly pale, despite his light brown skin color. He was losing way too much blood. "Wait a minute, isn't your sis obsessed with Medical Magic and Healing and stuff?" I asked James.

"Well yeah but-"

"Attaching body parts must be the most basic Medical Magic! Surely she must have told you about it!" I exclaimed hopefully.

"Without a doubt she has-"

"Fuck yes!"

"-but sadly enough I never listen to her."

"Oh my god, James!"

"Its not my fault! I never listen to anybody!" he exclaimed.

"If this continues, he'll bleed to death!" I exclaimed. "Well I hope you'll start actually listening to people from now on."

We were just babbling right now, trying to ignore what we didn't want to believe nor accept. But there was no escaping the fact that the Weasley family was going to lose their very dear Fred Weasley -- again.

*

TEDDY'S POV

"I still think we should do it in the winter."

"Why, for Merlins sake? The winter is cold!"

"Yeah but its also so beautiful with all the snow and its so cozy and its the holiday season!"

"What's wrong with spring? Its the season of new beginnings and alot better weather! And spring is warm."

"You and your warmth! We might as well marry in the summer then!"

"Fine by me!"

Victoire and me were sitting on a bench, looking at a beautifully lit channel with alot of ducks, in the middle of a well lit park. One particular young female duck had slowly been swimming closer to one male duck, when out of nowhere an older female duck came, scared the younger female duck away and started swimming next to the male duck. It was very amusing to me, but Victoire seemed a little uneasy when viewing it, for some reason. But she also looked super cute in this light. "You know what Victoire? I don't give a shit, honestly. We'll marry whenever the fuck you want to marry, as long as its within a year from now, because I don't think I can wait any longer." Any other girl would be flattered by such words, but not Victoire.

"You're such a wuss, you know. You always give me what I want."

"So you don't want me to give you what you want, then?" I asked, amused.

"I'm not saying that! Oh, never mind." We stayed quiet for a while, but it was a pleasant silence. Harry had more than once compared us to Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione. We bickered alot, but we loved each other to bits.

"You know, I'm not sure it was a good idea to make the groups this way," Victoire began.

"What are you on about? Dom's group has Scorpius, who is very responsible and mature for his age, and James' group has Rose. And our group has us."

"Yeah but Dom's group also has Dom, and James' group also has James. Plus Dom's group has Albus who'd pickpocket a Muggle police officers gun just to take a good look at it. And James ' group also has Fred."

I was starting to worry now. "Oh my lord why did we let those two go without our supervision?" I asked, really starting to panic.

"We didn't. They just ran off and we were left off with exactly the kids who wouldn't hurt a fly: The Scamander twins, Lily,Molly, Frank and Roxanne." That was true. The Scamanders just wandered around a bit, looking at all the Nargles, Molly rambled on about her present (Oh Merlin), Roxanne sat on a bench next to us, listening to her reggae music, Frank was feeding a few ducks with bread 3 benches away from us, and Lily was, as always, bickering with Molly. But none of them would ever do something troublesome.

"I'm going to call them," I said, "To make sure none of them are dying or something. We have to head home in about 30 minutes anyway, its getting late."

Victoire saw how worked up she got me, and put her hand on my arm. "Teddy, calm down. I'm sorry I made you worry, but you really don't have to. Are you forgetting that if any of them got into trouble, they'd have to face Nana Molly. I'm pretty sure James would rather eat Hippogriff shit than deal with Nana Molly 's wrath."

That made me calm down a bit. "You're right. None of them would be stupid enough to cause a ruckus now. I'm sorry, I'm just worrying over nothing."

*
HUGO's POV

Fred is going to die. Fred is going to die. Merlin oh Merlin oh Merlin oh Merlin. My brain is simply refusing to accept this, yet it's also refusing to come up with any solution to save him.

And to make things worse, I suddenly heared police sirens. Somebody must have finally noticed us three breaking in in this library. As if we didn't have enough problems.

And then -- "Hugo, I think I've got it."

A ball of hope formed in my chest. "Lawd Jesus! Finally!" I cried. "Spill it!"

James didn't seem very happy or determined though. "Promise you won't throw anything at me first," he said. We Weasley's are known for throwing things at each other. "I promise! Now spill it already!"

"We... We could Reparo his butt." I looked at him dumbfounded, but then all my emotions transformed into flaming red Weasley anger.

"JAMES FUCKING POTTER YOU'RE ACTUALLY JOKING AROUND IN A TIME LIKE THIS?!" I yelled, as I threw my wand at his face.

He deflected it, sighing, and said: "Do you have a better option? At least I have an option."

"That's not an option!" I yelled, "The Reparo Charm is meant to be used on objects, not organisms! You think there isn't any reason for nobody ever using the Reparo Charm on humans?"

"Well then what do you suggest we do? Stand here and watch our cousin bleed to death, and then get captured by the Muggle Police, get beaten to near death by Nana Molly, get raped in prison, get beaten to near death again by some psycho in prison, and eventually die by our assholes breaking because of repeated rape?"

"We have no idea what using the Reparo Charm on human's will do! Maybe it'll kill him! You want to be the cause of our cousins death?" I yelled.

"Calm down Hughs. I highly doubt it could kill a human, remember this spell is taught to first years!"

"Fine, but lets be quick!" I said hastily, making a 180. I heard the police sirens getting closer and closer and heard the car motors now too.

"Fred, wake up buddy. You can go to sleep soon," James muttered in Fred's ear. He didn't respond. James proceeded to bitchslap him so hard it echoed for 5 seconds, and started yelling at him.

Well that escalated quickly.

"WAKE UP FRED! YOU BLOODY TWAT!" he yelled.

"No... No... I've had enough food, Nana Molly..." Fred muttered.

"Fred please wake up!" I begged him.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry! Ofcourse I'll eat it up!" Fred said hastily. And then he slightly opened his eyes. James held Freddy 's hand with his wand in it and pointed it to Freddy's butt, while I placed Freddy's bloody (literally) butt cheeks on the place where they used to be.

"You've got to use the Reparo Charm Fred. That's the only way the pain will go away!" James begged. Fred seemed to have understood him.

He muttered "Reparo" and we heard a weird sound, a brief light flash and -- his butt was back.

You didn't even see any scars! Part of the weight on my shoulders lifted. "Now we've got to get out of here!" James exclaimed, brushing the sweat from his forehead.

"Catch me!" We heard out of nowhere, and suddenly my back got crushed.

"Ow!" Rose cried, getting off of me. "Why didn't you catch me!" she asked me accusingly, "My butt hurts like hell now!"

"Well, maybe you should announce you're coming down a few seconds earlier, instead of jumping down whilst announcing you're coming down?"

"You don't have the right to complain!" Fred muttered, scratching his butt. "I don't even care," he continued, as he kept scratching it while we were all looking at him.

"Hugo, mate, you alright?" James asked me. "Can't... Breath..."

"Oh shut up! I'm not that heavy!" Rose exclaimed annoyed, as she stood up. I wisely chose not to comment on that one.

"Talk about nice timing Rosie! Where were you when we needed a good pair of brains?" James asked sis.

She wisely chose not to comment on that. "We have to get outta here," she said. "But first, we need to get rid of all the evidence we were here in the first place!"

We helped Fred up, who got rid of all the dirtyness in the blood on the ground, used his wand as a vacuum cleaner and immediately started cleaning all the blood. He proceeded to magically inject all the blood he lost in his body, and repaired the broken glass of the window that was laying on the ground. The four of us, quickly searched for all the camera's we could find.

"Here's one!"

"Right here Freddy!"

Fred blew every single camera to smithereens, when suddenly we heard -- "Hier de politie! Jullie zijn omsingelt. Probeer maar niet te ontsnappen, er is geen uitweg. Dus geef u nu over! Here, the police. We have you people surrounded. There's no way out. So surrender now!"

"Oh Merlin!" Rose squaked.

"We'll get killed!" Fred said, terrified.

"Or worse,expelled!" Rose exclaimed.

"She really needs to sort out her priorities," James responded.

"Guys!" I yelled.

"You think we've got every camera?" Fred asked, looking around, as if one camera would appear behind a book shouting: "Yoohoo! You forgot me!"

"You're gonna have to apparate us out of here, Fred," James said. "Right now."

"Are you mad?" Fred replied, gesturing to his behind.

"We don't have a choice. One by one. You can do it, bro! I know you can!" James said, sounding extremely desperate.

"We komen naar binnen! We're coming in!" we heard an police officer say, followed by the sound of something breaking.

"Wait wait!" Rose exclaimed, out of nowhere.

"For the love of Merlin Rose, WHATTT?!" James screeched hysterically.

"We haven't got the adres of the party! That's why we went to all this trouble!"

"You're honestly telling me you're thinking about THAT right now?"

"I don't want all of this to be in vain!"

She took out her phone and started tapping and searching.

James, Fred and me awkwardly stood still, not saying anything and our hearts pounding like crazy as we started hearing footsteps of the police approaching.

"Fred, you erase our hand and footprints while I'm searching," Rose muttered, and Fred proceeded to do so, taking out his wand. Neither of us had even thought about that crucial detail.

"Got it!"

Fred immediately took my hand, pure panic on his face, and we were gone.

*

My whole body was hurting when I woke up. "Finally awake mate?" James grinned at me. "You've been out for 15 minutes. Was it all a bit too much for our little 'Gryffindor'?"

Oh god, I actually passed out from the stress...?

"Good, now we're all awake, lets go!" Rose said.

"You're right, I think its about time we went home," Fred said tiredly.

"Are you mad? I mean't let's go to the club!" Rose said.

"Are you taking a piss Rosie? There's no way in hell I'd still go to the club now!"

*

Five minutes later, we were on our way to the club. There was no talking into Rose when she was like this.

As we were walking the streets of Amsterdam, I noticed an open bar with a big free WiFi sign.

Sigh... All for some fucking WiFi...








To be continued....






Authors Note: The Police men spoke Dutch ofcourse, and after they spoke Dutch they repeated what they said in English. Also, I've changed this story from "Drama,Humor, Romance" to "Action/Adventure,Humor,Romance" because it contains way more Action, i figured. It'll really start to pick up in the next couple of chapters.

Well that's it for now. I hope you had a great Christmas and Happy New Year. Anyway, till next time!


DFBTA,
AlecJamesCaius_


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