Reading Reviews for The Bro Code
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HarryGinnyLove88 Article Ninety

30th January 2018:
Hmmm...i love How i met youre mother great tv show...so i hope this story will great too...skye seems more after famous to me i guess...

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Review #2, by marauderfan Article Ninety

23rd January 2018:
Hi! This is Stella Blue from HPFT with your review :)

Bahahaha, I wondered when I saw the title if this was a reference to HIMYM. I'm really curious to see where you go with this because I feel like there are probably a lot of weird articles in this code, just knowing what Barney would come up with :P

Okay! So, we begin. I like the detail that the Potter family makes a point to not badmouth people to the press. Considering that Harry had that smear campaign against him in the Daily Prophet during OotP (and had to see rubbish published about Hermione in GoF) I can see how he'd be sensitive to that sort of thing and pass it onto his children who are also in the limelight.

Random musings: If James's Quidditch career ever takes a bad turn, he can fall back on acting. That was quite a performance for Nina, about the loneliness of his sad soul. XD I'm not sure why he did it, apart from maybe to just mess with her and because he's bored of the interview, and maybe he thinks it'll send more single ladies running after him? Lol

Omg I love the fact that James likes Celestina Warbeck. Why doesn't he like the Holyhead Harpies though?! His mum played for them, he probably grew up going to their games! Have some appreciation, James. XD

To address the areas of concern you mentioned: first, the pacing. Overall, it's very good. There were no scenes/paragraphs that seemed too rushed, and nothing that dragged on too long. If I were to have any critique about pacing, it would be the transition between the interview and the club scene. Nothing specifically is wrong with it, it just kind of feels like a very abrupt switching tracks. I don't know how much time passed, but I assume like two or three days? One thing that I think might make the transition smoother is to relate the scenes a little more. For example, while James is bored during his interview, maybe he daydreams for a second about his awesome plans to go to the club with Fred (two days/ a week) from now.

Humour: there are some very entertaining things sprinkled through here, like the fact that James is a terrible dancer despite his Quidditch agility, his aforementioned love of Celestina Warbeck, the fact that Frank brought study flashcards to a club. (That's dedication, man.) And the fact that Skye implies James is obnoxious about having money. :P But mostly I think a lot of the humour is just in the story concept itself, and I'm excited to see what you do with it. :D

Your dialogue is great. In terms of characterization the only person I can properly comment on is James, as we've seen the most of him so far. And he's kind of like... what I'd expect from your average celebrity Quidditch player, but I love that you gave him a couple of unique quirks too that are at odds with how his personality is perceived. (i.e. the Celestina Warbeck thing). Because real people are like this, everyone has these odd idiosyncrasies and I love when people include stuff like that in fics.

I'm really interested in seeing more of Skye - we don't know much about her yet, but there were a couple great moments that showed a bit of insight into her personality, such as when she gives some money to the homeless man and when she teases James about being obnoxious. I'm curious if she and/or Gemma will show up again, given that James said earlier that he likes the single life and doesn't want a relationship. Also, I like the way you showed without directly stating how close Gemma and Skye are - you can tell they've been BFFs for ages.

Other things - There are some punctuation/grammar issues here and there, which could maybe be caught with another read-through - or if it helps to have fresh eyes looking just for that sort of thing, you can request a beta on the forums and they are super helpful.

Last but not least, I just wanted to point out that the chapter title should read "Ninety", not "Nintey" ;)

Now that I've rambled your ear off :P Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter! I think you did a great job, particularly with James' characterisation, and I have a feeling it's going to be a fun fic :)

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Review #3, by AccioTeddyLupin Article Ninety

21st January 2018:
Hi, this seems legit. Canít wait for me. Ok. Bye.

Author's Response: Hi Accio! Not gonna lie this made me chuckle a bit haha thank you so much for the review!

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Review #4, by PLUM Article Ninety

20th January 2018:
I don't know what about this story caught my eye - only that I know that it did and boy am I so glad I started reading.

First of all, you are a fantastic writer. I absolutely love that you've written this in third person and from James' perspective. I've never seen how I met your mother so this is all fresh and new and creative to me so i am so excited for the next chapter.

I did feel the end part was just a BIT rushed - the suspense could've been drawn out a bit more but honestly, this was seriously amazing. Your characterisations of each character was so realistic and so neatly done I'm in awe! Skye and Gemma's friendship is freaking real I am jealous of your ability to write it!! I - apparently - cannot do a female friendship justice and that's my new goal.

I can't wait to see where this story goes and what happens - it's all so thrilling and I'm already in love with James and Skye!! I ship it!!!

Author's Response: First of all, you're making me blush and I'm so happy this caught your attention lol.

You definitely do not have to watch the show to get any references as they will be subtle but I do recommend the show just because it is fantastic and it's on netflix and is therefore an easy binge.

Oh dang it I was hoping it didn't sound too rushed! Thank you for the critique though I will have to see if there is a way i can edit that to try to draw it out a bit!
I completely based their glances and protectiveness while out in the club off of my friend and I not going to lie. I was hoping me pointing it out wouldn't be too awkward or 'out there' with it being from James' POV so I'm glad it didn't come across that way!

Those two are definitely interesting I will give you that! Thank you so much for the Review Plum you are the sweetest


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Review #5, by Tecla Sunrise Article Ninety

18th January 2018:
A really nice start and I liked the way you wrote the interview - it sounded so genuine and how I would expect the son of Harry-I-hate-the-press-Potter to react :)
I also liked the way you took time to describe the girls' relationship, even if in pas-sing, and the realistic description of James and Skye's sloppy first kiss.
and, oh, a cliffhanger!
Really nicely done, can't wait to read more!
Elena xxx

Author's Response: Honestly writing the interview was my favorite! The Cat and Mouse relationship between Nina and James makes me chuckle like all the time. She thinks she's so clever and he's like constantly eyeing the clock lol.
Female relationships are honestly my favorite and they are so important. I feel like a lot of writers tend to brush over it in fanfic which makes me so sad. So I'm making up for it every chance i get lmaoo.
First kisses are always so sloppy and weird so I'm happy it came across as realistic!
Thank you so much Elena for the kind review! It really means a lot xoxo



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