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Reading Reviews for Bluebird
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by teh tarik Little River Running

23rd April 2017:
Laura ♥

This is the long overdue review that I owe you, & I'm truly sorry it has taken me this long to write this. Since that time you first told me that you'd dedicated this gorgeous piece of writing to me, I've read this several more times. & I'm just really so blown away every time. By the amazing-ness of your writing, & also because you've gifted a fic to me of all people.

So. thank you. thank you so much. this means a lot to me *flails* *sobs* *dies an ineloquent death*

asdasfkjhkj THANK YOU for writing Ariana for me!! I love her character & I love fics that explore her in detail, because she has such a wasted narrative arc in canon, one that is always overshadowed by Albus. & your fic is a gorgeous rendition of her character, and her instability & all the traumas that afflict her. I really, really appreciate the level of detail that you've gone into to write her character, and how you've incorporated the myth of the Great Lynx, and how it ties in so deeply into her character. I had to look up the myth because I know nothing about Native American mythology, and I'm glad I had the chance to learn more about the Mishipeshu. Also! Apparently the Mishipeshu is always in opposition to the Thunderbird?? And Albus is the Thunderbird, if I remember correctly from your Kendra-centric fic (which is one of my favourite one-shots written by you!).

you shudder in time to the swish and the sway of the water below as it tumbles and gurgles a few feet below. It is solemn and discordant, a continuous rush of sibilant, miserable whispers - damp and weak, even as the wind rips at it from above, clawed hands scraping and catching at the tips of waves, ripping them taller, driving them away, away downstream and towards the sea.

^ sigh. Right from the beginning, such vivid gorgeous descriptive writing form you. & I always associate Ariana with water imagery, so this is just wonderful.

wild flowers, dropped like breadcrumbs leading round and round in endless, wandering circles to nowhere, a shower of jewels in dimmed, shaded blues and buttercup-yellows, imperial violets and bright, violent crimson.

^ wow!! your description is so vivid, so striking and I just, halskdjlkasjdas gorgeous use of colour and visual imagery. It also struck me that this is probably taking place in Ariana's head, and that she's not really 100% living in the real world.


Butterflies, electric blue and turquoise and soft periwinkle, flutter out of your mouth with every breath you take, quick and skipping, darting off into the ether; they all only ever make it a few heartbeats, a handful of seconds, before their wings stiffen and weaken and they fall, littering the forest floor with a carpet of greying, dusty bodies.

^ excuse me while I die at the creepy beauty of this image alskjdlaks HOW DO YOU DO THIS AMAZING *swoons*


Oh, Ariana, you hear again, and as the leaves shift overhead in the breeze, there is a sudden burst of light, bright and fierce and shimmering, and you see yourself reflected in rich blue eyes, a lock of auburn hair still heavy with water slipping down and leaving a trail of tiny, sparkling drops across a cheekbone.

^ I love how Albus is introduced in your fic. (I'm assuming it's Albus...if I'm wrong, please throw a buffalo at me...) I think Ariana kinda idolises him, the way she sees him with so much power and grace and beauty. I love how he's associated with the wind and light and all the things she's not - the contrast between them is done so well.

A single eye, light and an icy, eggshell blue, glints in the dark; you cannot see another, and you shiver - wrong, wrong, wrong. walking

^ oooh, is that Gellert?? that icy eggshell blue eye of his is such perfect word choice. Perfect and also very unsettling. I love all the wrongness about him, and how intuitive Ariana is. She's so much more intuitive than Albus.

In the light, oil-blue and slick, sly, your brother looks older, tired, halfway to dead, with hollows under his eyes and strands of black littering his hair, ash amongst a fire; but when he glances at his friend, always, always a few steps behind, there is a hunger and a sweet ferocity, alive and dancing, which you do not recognise.

^ & here comes the Albus / Gellert. And all the unhealthiness of it. :p This paragraph sums them up so well - how Gellert changes Albus, and not for the best.

In the pool at your feet, reflected, you see the dark, vicious gleam in your eyes and the white points of your teeth, bared and snarling, the supple, languid way your arms and your legs move, your head rising first, too smooth and too elegant to be human.

^ I'm kinda imagining that Ariana looks into the pool & sees the Great Lynx as part of her. She too, has that wilderness in her, and there's something savage & predatory about her in this moment. she isn't just a traumatised girl; she definitely doesn't feel helpless, even if the whole world is against her, or if the whole world overlooks her as a person. I love this vicious other side to her character.

& I think I've gone through the whole thing again!! I'm still just so honoured that you wrote me this. It's absolutely beautiful & I love this so much THANK YOU.

Laura, I'm so glad to have met you (online) - you are an amazing friend and beautiful person. And that you truly are an incredible super talented writer.

Nicole

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Review #2, by victoria_anne Little River Running

22nd April 2017:
Laura ♥

OH MY THOR, I AM SO HORRIBLE, and I'm so sorry it took me so long to get here! But I'm super excited you wrote something new with such a beautiful title and beautiful words and all that is holy and good.

Ariana's love of nature is magical (no pun intended.) She sees the beauty in every tiny thing, and it calls to her. And of course, the language you use makes all of it come alive.

I can't remember if using second person is something you've done often before, but either way, you've done it perfectly. There are times when I read second person and it's all I see, like I'm so aware of it, and I think what I'm loving the most is how naturally this reads. Nothing is out of place to distract me from the story.

As for the change in style, to be honest I didn't really notice a difference (and dear Merlin I hope that's not an insult because I don't intend it to be ♥) It's the beautiful descriptions that everyone associates with your writing, and I just want to wrap myself up in them and live there.

I love all the tiny mentions of Albus and Grindelwald, and how Albus will always be looking at him, never forgetting he's there. (And you just had to sneak them in there :P)

The metaphors are the plot. I love that you've managed to tell a story with them, and you've successfully conveyed the mood and message without stating it outright, and once again I'm in awe of how you do this. All the references to her drowning or just being in water send shivers down my spine!

So this is the first time you've written Ariana, I think? It better bloody not be the last, because this is so amazing. Like I said, I love your descriptions, but to have a softer, more feminine side to them is something I want to see more of. This is really, really, wonderful, Loz ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #3, by nott theodore Little River Running

13th April 2017:
Laura! ♥ ♥ ♥

So it's taken me far too long to get to reviewing this story, but I am finally here and I'm so excited to be giving it some much-deserved love!

To put it quite simply, this is wonderful. Fantastic. Brilliant. I don't have enough words to tell you how amazing this story is (and I'm pretty sure I would max out the character count entirely if I quoted all my favourite parts back to you). I know this took you quite a while to write, but I'm so, so happy that you finished this and wrote about Ariana ♥

This really is a masterpiece of description. I mean, I should be used to reading pieces like this from you by now, but I feel like this story takes it to the next level. I've actually read this story multiple times since you first finished it, and every time I read it, I manage to absorb something completely new from it. There are just so many wonderful elements to this; it's composed so beautifully, and every line sings with something new, and it's really just a total pleasure to read.

I feel like your choice to use the second person narrative voice in this piece was so intelligent and well-matched to the story. This is so metaphorical and lyrical, but I think it's a lot easier to understand and get drawn into the story because of the use of second person. It helped to immerse me properly into this story, even with the slightly whimsical nature of the narrative - the way that it follows Ariana's train of thought. I'm not sure if that was the reason you chose to use it, but it was a fantastic choice.

I'm going to return to the description and imagery for just a second because ♥ ♥ ♥ It's really incredible, and I have no idea how you manage to invent such original and creative metaphors. There are times when the pictures that you paint with this story are so vivid in my mind that it feels like I could reach out and touch them, and that's honestly so impressive and rare.

The way this story started was so lovely - so gentle and soft and beautiful, and it felt like we kind of floated into the story with Ariana and her thoughts. It was like you reached out to me and invited me to join in on this journey that I wanted to be part of, and I didn't realise until later that it was going to end tragically and break my heart (really, I should know much better by now, shouldn't I? It's not like you don't have previous on this).

Ah, the introduction of Gellert in this piece was just so fantastic here - the way that Ariana was so unfamiliar with him, so unsure of what his presence meant. It contrasted so well against the way that she reached out and understood the world around her, because he was wild and untamed and there was danger there. I think one thing I loved was that Ariana seemed to see it straight away, the danger and threat that Gellert posed, even if she couldn't entirely understand it herself, and Albus can't see it because he's so besotted with his 'friend'. It was so wonderful to see that juxtaposition - of the girl who doesn't always know what's happening around her, but who has this brilliant natural instinct.

(Also the descriptions of magic, and the memories of what Kendra told her to try and help her make her way through the world - I know they're just little details but they really built this story up and it was fantastic.)

I think the animal imagery, and the way that Gellert appears to be a predator when he's around Albus, was so effective. It added this glint of fear in Ariana's world, which seemed to penetrate through the confusion of her thoughts. I read this line:
'You imagine him pouncing, panther-esque with claws outstretched and teeth bared' several times - it's just really brilliant, and I love the picture that it paints.

Then the ending... wow, that was just so powerful. I don't know how you managed to write about Ariana's death so beautifully? The way that you wrote it was so poetic and compelling, as if it was something that was reaching out for her and wanted to take her gently. I'm not sure that I should enjoy reading about it, especially when I feel so sorry for her, but even when I'm reading about her slipping away, you manage to make it beautiful.

Those soft words calling out to her a couple of times through this piece - especially towards the end - were such a brilliant touch, too. It was as if death was calling out for her and although it was lamenting what had happened to her, there was something soft and gentle about it which made me think she might actually be in a better place?

I feel like I've rambled on a lot here and I'm not sure any of this made proper sense, since I'm just in awe of your stunning writing and in love with this story, and thank you so much for sharing it with us ♥

Sian :)

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Review #4, by crimson quill Little River Running

7th April 2017:
Hello!

Thank you for requesting, I was so interested by this story as I've really never read anything from this era before, the forum has been amazing for getting me out of my comfort zone!

I think it's awesome that you're going out to try something different with your writing. it's the mark of a good writer to be able to make different/styles and genres work for them! it's unusual for fics to use this style but it's really great for making the piece more interactive I guess? it's easier to put yourself in the position of the character. it's something that really worked for this fic.

it's really obvious from your writing that you're amazing at description. you honestly just created some stunning imagery during this fic and it seems like a running theme through all your fics. I should take lessons as I struggle with it! I wish I were as good as you!

I think what I got from your writing is how curiously she is as a character. she sees the world around her in lots of detail and she's really rather wise?

Love and hate, you think they are really just different names for the same thing'- this is rather interesting thought.


now, what I'm going to say is not about you as a writer. it's me as a reader. I found this one-shot to be very wordy so I had trouble picking out the key events within the story. I'm not use to reading something without dialogue I think. it's just something different, I'll need to re-read this to make sure I've taken everything in more than once. that's the way my brain works!

I'm going to make time to read some more of your work now though! I'm rather interested in what I assume is your otp - albus/gellert.

xx

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