Reading Reviews for Surprises
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Surprises

28th March 2017:
Hello! Deeds here to review your challenge entry. Thanks for entering my challenge!

He wanted us to make a cake the Muggle way?! That was impossible! The Muggle way didn't even work properly!

Haha! The muggle way works. I would know! I do it all the time! I like the interaction between Fred and Roxy. I like that it's the optimist here and he's the one that has come up with this idea to make the cake. I would normally it's the other way around so it's a nice surprise. I also like that you gave us some backstory and what she thinks about her father and his sadness over his birthday. They didn't know their Uncle. It makes sense they wouldn't feel that sad or they would be uncomfortable. They want to see their father and family happy. Who doesn't, right? I mean they are just kids too so their level of understanding is a bit different.

"Yeah, but if people burst into tears tomorrow, we can give them a piece of our cake!" Fred said.

I don't know what's better their logic or their innocence.

Because, I would be sad if Fred died but not as sad as I would be if, say, Grandpa died.

She's so sassy I can't handle it.

AW! The end. You threw me for a loop there. I love that they created this new snack box without even trying to. What a perfect gift for his birthday. They made him cry. Ha-ha! My favorite thing about the story besides the cooking was the childlike curiosity you were able to keep true to the story from the beginning to end. You didn't make them mini-adults which made the story that extremely enjoyable to read.

Thanks for joining the challenge! The results will be up the day after the deadline.

Author's Response: Hello! Lol yes, I know the Muggle version way works too but being wizards, Roxanne probably wouldn't know. And I always imagined her to be sassy, because...genes? She seems like it ;)

I found the cooking a bit hard to write, because I genuinely NEVER cook. I knew I would have to compensate with them making something interesting. I'm so glad you enjoyed it though! Thanks for the challenge

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Review #2, by May Surprises

7th March 2017:
Great storyline really enjoyed it

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the review :)

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