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Reading Reviews for Not My Intention
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Harry and Ginny The Date

3rd April 2017:
that's it?! I liked reading this chapter but I felt like Draco and Ginny's "romance" was too short! I prefer Harry/Ginny fics as my username says but I would like to read more from you! this fic has definitely potential for more!^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Yes, that's it :P I know I could definitely extend this into a novella, or a novel even, but long romances aren't my strong suit and I also prefer Harry/Ginny like you :)

But I'm very much inspired by your reviews so...I may be coming back with a little Drinny one shot later (I make no promises) ;)

I'm glad you liked this story! Thanks for your lovely review! :D


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Review #2, by Harry and Ginny The First Victims

3rd April 2017:
this chapter is very interesting! I liked how you developed everything and how you have Ginny pairing off everyone she knows! going to read the next chapter now!^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: I'm glad you found it interesting! And I always like pairing the students of Hogwarts together, it's fun and works better than making up a million OCs.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D


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Review #3, by LunaStellaCat  The Date

31st March 2017:
lovegood27

I remember reading the first chapter of this a long time ago. I remember reviewing it because I rather went inappropriate and pulled the ďtripletĒ thing on you. Sorry, any story about multiples just Ö yeah. Oh, yeah, cause I flipped out about the brother.

Sorry.

So, I like the idea that they are pairing off and that Harry is with Luna. I thought that was weird, and then I remembered that Harry attended the Slug Club thing. Yeah, Iím sorry, thatís all youíre getting from me is the ďSlug Club thingĒ. And I thought that was rather cute. So, itís cute that they are together. You know Ö that would be an interesting pairing.

(Lovegood27 needs to write a Harry/Luna pairing thing. Iím trying to be subtle like slipping popcorn and Coca-Cola in the movie ads.:)

So, a legit move? Because this happens all the time in actual relationships? Ginny gets mad. And shoots for a rebounder for revenge after she crafted the plan. Girl, I could hug you righteth now. That happens all the time in romance dramas. That. Itís like she set up the dominos and then she - of her own power or whatever - knocks them down. I know thatís a Muggle reference. We do that to ourselves all the time.

I like the conflict between Smith and the honesty between her and Draco. Draco is for the second time in a piece off fan fiction, my hero. Thank you, miss. The honesty.


So, you asked about characterization. I'm going to be honest here, and I'm not saying this to sound like an old lady. (In fact, Iím not that old.) Cursing has to have a place and a reason. Does Ginny get mad in the books? Yeah. I like that you have her as the ultimate girl character - the gossip girl - but Ginny didn't curse like an old sailor. Sure, Ron had his expletive here and there, but they were a well- mannered lot. I keep thinking, ďGoodness me, what would Molly Weasley think of this sailor?Ē Cursing, too much of it for cursingís sake, sounds like a bad wrap song.

You feel me? You can show anger and emotion another way. Also, Iím a techie who often works in chat support so when you WRITE LIKE THIS I feel as though you are shouting at me or rather saying [insert anger here]. Here's the thing, and youíre a good writer, so Iím telling you this.

If you write and you write well, the reader will feel the emotion without you having to insert the ANGER or use one of these ?!. (That punctuation move is one of my pet peeves, but the way. I don't know whether you want something exclaimed to your questioning something or rather throwing something into question. That doesn't exist. Choose one or the other.

Let your reader infer or decide how he or she feels. Youíre a beautiful, strong enough writer for that to come across in thy prose. Believe in the words that you place on a page. If anything, often writing something plainly speaks volumes in and of itself. If a reader doesn't get it, thatís okay. Someone will. Place faith behind words.

I liked the piece. Thanks for requesting the review. I hope this helped.

LSC 

who apologies that it took ages to get back to you, boo.

Author's Response: Ah hello! Don't worry about time, just glad to see you here ;)

Hmm...I'm not really one to deviate from canon, normally. This was written because I had to write Drinny for a challenge and then I didn't what Harry to be a loner. But I suppose a second Harry/Luna can't hurt... ;D

Aw, I'm glad you liked Draco. I don't think he's that bad really :)

Ooh, about the swearing. I always think that JKR kind of underestimated the amount of swearing that 17 year olds do (based on my personal experience) They do curse quite a bit in the books, it's just not written in, just described (e.g. 'Harry let out a stream of swear words') But you're probably right; I'll make sure not to include as many swear words in the future :)

Omg, I felt so happy when you said I was a good writer thankyouthankyouthankyou! But I was never one for just expressing anger without capitals or ?! I need to work on that :P But thanks for pointing it out because I think it would work so much better :D

I found your review really inspiring (especially the last part) and helpful. Thanks so much for reading, I'm glad you liked it :D


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Review #4, by marauderfan The First Victims

20th February 2017:
Hi! I'm here with your review from HPFT! (I'm Stella Blue over there, btw)

Hogwarts Era is actually my favourite so I'm pretty excited about this, even if you've not written much Hogwarts Era before. And honestly I don't see a lot of fics set in Hogwarts immediately after the war so I'm really looking forward to what you're going to do with that. It's nice to see this story through Ginny's eyes, too.

The first section of the story - Ginny talking about Fred's death - is so, so relatable, how sometimes when someone dies you can't really reconcile the fact that they're dead, and keep thinking they're just not here today, but it's something final like that that really drives the point home, and I thought that section was powerful, so well done. However, it doesn't 100% seem to fit with the rest of the chapter - if you added a bit of a transition between that section and the next, (like how that affects her starting a new year at Hogwarts?) it would be a lot less choppy overall.

"Is there anyone else?" Luna asked. -- This is PERFECT. This is the most Luna-ish question - like, it's kind of a weird thing to ask, as if Ginny's going on a massive spree of matchmaking, but Luna's not judgemental about asking, and just wants to help Ginny. You've totally nailed that balance of peculiar and practical that is so very Luna. :D And I thought her reaction to the outcome of Ginny's first attempt, getting Ron and Hermione together, was perfect - not particularly emotional about it, just interested in a sort of 'hmm look at that' way.

So yeah, that line was great, and I'll just take a moment to say that you do really well writing Luna overall. I know how difficult it is to capture her voice and particular mannerisms, and you did a wonderful job with her here. Ron was spot on too- it's very believable that he'd hold onto his grudge against Malfoy for... probably forever. :P I also like that Hermione called Crabbe and Goyle 'rocks'. I just found it really amusing for some reason - and also sounds like the type of insult Hermione would use. :P

Draco is definitely a changed person, but he seems awkward about it, like he's not sure who to be anymore now that he doesn't have 'those two rocks' hanging around him all the time and now that his father is disgraced/in Azkaban and the Death Eaters lost. And probably he wouldn't be that popular around Hogwarts, so he's trying to be nice. But he doesn't know how. It's certainly an interesting change and it makes a lot of sense considering how much his life has just changed. I'm looking forward to seeing more of him.

Long story short, your characterization of everyone is great :D

The one thing I'd want to comment on in terms of concrit is the pacing, particularly with Ginny's feelings. Knowing her temperament, I'm a bit surprised that she's so quick to change her tune about Malfoy after the one conversation. It's like she let go of her family's grudge against him almost instantly, which at least to me seemed a bit fast. I know this is eventually to be a Ginny/Draco story, so I get that you're trying to lead in that direction, but I think a slower process might be more believable - like she might just think this was a one off occurrence at first.

As another example, she also jumps from sadly wondering if Harry still loves her, to planning to set up Harry and Luna. Did she get over Harry that fast? I'd love to see a bit more development of this, as long-held feelings often take time to change. But of course, this is just my 2 cents and your story is yours to pace how you want it.

Ah, I feel like this review is a bit heavy on the CC but I want you to know that I did really enjoy this chapter, and I love the idea of Harry/Luna - I could totally see them working as a ship, even if it is unusual. Unusual ships are the beauty of fanfiction. :)

I hope this review was helpful! Great work on this story so far. I look forward to reading more :)

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks so much for a wonderful long review :D

I'm glad the characterisation worked out, because my characters being OOC is something I always worry about. Particularly Luna, since she has a character that stands out so people can tell if something is uncharacteristic of her.

Ginny was supposed to be trying to get over Fred's death and distracting herself, hence the beginning. But yeah, now that I think about it, it doesn't seem to fit in very well. I'll keep that in mind in the future :)

Ah, pacing. I try to keep things slow but I always forget what it's like if you're the reader who knows nothing about the story. I just get ahead of myself, which is probably why my novella ended 10 chapters earlier than I had planned :P

But I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for this review, it was super helpful. I'll be sure to keep all your feedback in mind when writing the next chapter for this :D



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