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Reading Reviews for Long Live The Queen
  
89 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MadiMalfoy I

16th October 2017:
Hello!!! I'm about a week and a half late with this review, but here I am!! You requested that I look over this to see how I liked your characterizations and writing style.

So first and foremost, I think this sounds like it could be an extremely interesting story, just based off of all of the fun and quirky OCs you've got here in the opening chapter. You've done a great job of describing each character enough to ground them in their place within the story and the universe you've created without giving away too much information at the same time! Well done on that for all of the characters written here, for sure! Since I'm unfamiliar with the universe you're writing in, I actually thought you were writing from Lily Evans' point of view, not Lily Potter's for the first few lines until I actually thought about it. But anyway, I really enjoyed how you've characterized Lily here -- Slytherin, teenager, who doesn't always fit perfectly with her family's goals and ideas for her, but who also still loves them. This is definitely a new age for me to read of the next gen kinds, which is something that really interested me!! I'm only mildly familiar with the kids being young or just entering Hogwarts, so this age is definitely refreshing!

As far as writing style goes, there's absolutely nothing that I would want to change! You change up your descriptors and "said" is not the word used every time dialogue happens, so that's always an indicator of good writing skills. With scene description, you could add a bit more in, but this chapter didn't really need it as you were jumping from scene/location to location so it was not super necessary due to the short amount of time spent there. Perhaps in later chapters, if your characters are going to the same location multiple times (aka it's an 'important' location) then a bit more hefty description could elevate the importance of that place, along with the significance of the characters being there.

Truly, I'm curious to see where you go with this and if this sixth year will be good for Lily and Hugo. If you'd like another review, please pop on back over to my review thread! Further, if you want me to read a couple of chapters and then review on the last one I read, please just mention that in your post, otherwise I'll assume it's just the one chapter at a time rate. Great job!! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Thank you! And I'm sorry for taking such a long time to respond! I have a bad habit of occasionally disappearing from this site for a while, but I'm back now and plan to stay!

I really appreciate your taking the time to leave such a detailed review. I find it so helpful to get the feedback. I think setting description's definitely something I could do with working on so thank you for pointing that out!

And thanks for offering to read on! I'll probably be back soon with another request :)

E xx


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Review #2, by victoria_anne XIII

9th September 2017:
Okay, after that tumultuous last chapter, I'm glad this one is starting on a happy note. I can feel myself relaxing now :P I'm glad Mei and Robin talked it out, and that Robin was able to speak to Is about Lyra, too.

Uh oh, the aconite again. And then you go and end the chapter with THAT! I don't know how to feel - so many emotions, ahh! Okay, okay - I better start with saying I'm so impressed with how you write Mei's grief, I find it's done realistically and well. I can't wait to see if Lily actually does end up spending time with Tristan on patrol. And hooray for the kiss! I wasn't expecting it but I'm totally shipping it!

And now I get to poke you for updates :P ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: I'm sorry! I need to stop vanishing for months at a time. And I feel especially guilty for doing it when you'd just left all these lovely reviews. But I've just updated Fallen so I think LLTQ will get an update soon!

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Review #3, by victoria_anne XII

9th September 2017:
Yay, a Lucy chapter ♥ I love how hard she tries to keep everyone under control. "A good egg" is the perfect way to describe her.

Ooh, Robin. Is it really a healthy relationship if one is scared of the other? I mean, I totally understand where he's coming from though. Isidore would be terrifying if she found out.

The plot thickens with the aconite information. I wonder what Lily knows about it, if anything. Oh, God, I hope it wasn't in one of the potions, ahh! I'm on the edge of my seat here! And omg Lorcan is so cute. I know I say it all the time but I love him, and I love how different he is from Lysander.

Author's Response: Oo initially I didn't want Robin and Isidore to have a good relationship, but the more I write them the happier he gets so now I'm not sure anymore!

More on aconite soon...


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Review #4, by victoria_anne XI

7th September 2017:
I stopped reading this morning because I had to go to work, but now I've finished work and it's straight back to this story :P ♥

I can't believe Lysander has both Slytherin boxers and a jacket XD Is he House proud or what.

Ouch. Paige can certainly hold her own at least. What a horrible situation. I'm so anxious reading this because I'm one of those people who is so terrible at confrontation and will avoid it at all costs. Both girls are extremely hurt right now. And oh my Merlin we have a contender for the throne! I'm so impressed by how you keep upping the tension!

It's hard to see Lily's world crumbling around her :( Oh and I think Tristan may have cottoned on that Lily was using him. That poor boy, he deserves so much good. *glares at E* He better have a happy ending. I want to wrap him up in a blanket and protect him at all costs.

This is amazing, E. It gets better with every chapter ♥

Author's Response: And again - thank you! You're a star x

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Review #5, by victoria_anne X

6th September 2017:
Not gonna lie, I squealed like a fangirl a little bit when Abdi admitted his feelings for Hugo :D

Wow, I love that confession Mei makes to herself, about stepping out of her comfort zone now that Lyra's not around. I don't ever want to say that Lyra's death was a good thing, but it's interesting how much she affected Mei when she was alive.

*eep!* They kissing! Ahh! These chapters are short but so packed with everything, I love it! Makes it far too easy to click next chapter :P I'll be back to finish off the rest soon! No way can I stay away now!



Author's Response: Aw thank you for enjoying Abdi - I love writing him x

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Review #6, by victoria_anne IX

6th September 2017:
Ooh Lysander is someone I just want to slap. I hate seeing Lily so manipulated. I think I was beginning to fall for her strong facade myself, and I'm angry that she can be walked all over.

Okay, never mind, I read on and now I'm proud of her for walking away :P Yay!

It's a great parallel between how Lysander and the stars make her feel. She feels small against both, but with the stars its something she likes. It has an opposite effect against Lysander. Not sure if that was intentional or not but it's something I noticed :)

Ah, Lily. She deals with her feelings in the most unhealthy ways possible. And I'm not sure whether to feel sorry for poor Tristan or to pat him on the back :P

And Lorcan ♥ Oh that poor sweet cinammon roll

Author's Response: B! I love your reviews. I've done the whole disappearing thing again for months but I logged back in to see this and thank you thank you for reading and enjoying! x

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Review #7, by victoria_anne VIII

6th September 2017:
Hey E ♥

Gosh I'm so sorry I stayed away for so long!

Ah, Room of Requirement parties. I love the detail you included about leaving it alone at first out of respect.

Tristan sleeping with a Quaffle, omg hahaha. Bless.

Asexual Hugo! I love it. The diversity and inclusions of this story is one of the very top reasons that make it so amazing and enjoyable. I love how much vulnerability we saw in this chapter, between Paige and Hugo. Just about everyone in this story wears a mask, and it's amazing to find out what's revealed under them. I think this is what makes the characters so relatable, and it's a great reminder that you really don't know what's going on in someone else's life.

Amazing, as usual, and Abdi is so cute! ♥

Author's Response: B! I just logged in to six reviews from you and THANK YOU. They brought such a smile to my face and I always love hearing your thoughts.

I'm glad you liked Hugo. I loved writing this scene :)

xx


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Review #8, by Giu9_RedandGold XIII

1st September 2017:
All it took to make me ship Lucy and Mei was that one kiss. Although I did not see that coming. Robin is one of my favourite characters so far. He is such a good guy and I loved his conversation with Mei in this chapter. I thought she felt better after speaking with him.
Lily's protectiveness (not sure it's a real word...English is not my first language, sorry!) of Hugo amazes me every time. I love that she was upset by the suspension of Herbology classes because that's Hugo's favourite subject 😄
Anyway, I hope we see Tristane again soon...yes, I've already become obsessed with him!!! :D

Author's Response: Thank you! I love Lucy and Mei. And I'm really enjoying writing Robin. He's one of those minor characters that wasn't meant to be important but I'm quite attached to him now.

I'm glad you like Lily's protectiveness. She's definitely flawed in lots of ways but she loves Hugo.

And next chapter belongs to Hugo and doesn't include Tristan but he'll be back!

Thanks so much for taking the time to review. I love hearing your thoughts.

Emma xx


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Review #9, by Violet Potter 434 XIII

31st August 2017:
love it

obvs

but I'm extremely jetlagged so this is all I have for now apologies


amazing chapter

loved the drama

I cannot wait to find out who killed her

love from me xxx

Author's Response: Thank you! You're always so quick to review and it makes me so happy that you're still here enjoying it.

Hope you get over the jetlag soon!

Emma xx


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Review #10, by SevenSins XIII

31st August 2017:
I ship Mei/Lucy and Lily/Tristan so hard.

Author's Response: Oh yay I'm glad you like Mei/Lucy! I know a few people were hoping for Lucy/Robin earlier on in the story so wasn't sure how people would take it :)

Thanks for taking the time to review! x


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Review #11, by dracoismyboyfriendguys XII

2nd July 2017:
Dun dun dun!! Lovely update! Sorry I can't leave a longer review but I'm literally falling asleep. Can't wait for more xxx

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! Hope you slept well xx

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Review #12, by dumbledore XII

1st July 2017:
It was short! Your stories always leave me wanting more!
"Honey, I'm home!" - brilliant!
I'm loving where this is going, and how diverse and genuine you caracthers are. Keep up with the good work!

Author's Response: Thank you! So pleased you're enjoying it. I'll try to make the next one a bit longer for you :)

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Review #13, by Crescent Moon  XII

29th June 2017:
Loved this!
I have this suspicion that her death wasn't an accident, but I don't want you to tell me if I'm right or not as I really love your writing and I want to find out as the story goes on. So please just ignore this and laugh to yourself if I'm completely off base and it's just my love of murder mysteries playing up!
Anyway, I really love the way you write Lucy, and Lorcan is brilliantly hilarious. I also feel really bad for Robin, I know what he did was wrong but he's going through a really bad time. And I really can't wait to find out how Mei's coping with what happened.
Amazing chapter as always!

Author's Response: Thank you! So happy you're still here :)

I love hearing your theories but I'll hold back on the spoilers for now as requested!

Mei gets her say next chapter xx


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Review #14, by Violet Potter 434 XII

29th June 2017:
omg

I really like to think it wasn't lily

she's mean and all

but don't let it be lily

make it someone properly horrible like Lysander or Paige

please???


I loved this chapter, and I can pretty much guess what hugo said to lily but I cant wait to have that confirmed in their next chapter


love this story to bits, so i'll be needing that update Asap


love from me xxx

Author's Response: Haha more will be revealed soon :)

Thank you for reviewing! So happy you enjoyed it xx


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Review #15, by Giu9_RedandGold XII

28th June 2017:
Was Lily really responsible for Lyra's death? Or was it Hugo and that's what he wanted to confess to her at the end of the last chapter? Lily can be quite protective of him, it would make sense if she wanted to make sure he was safe.
Lucy is wonderful. I hope everyone knows how lucky they are to have someone like her in their life, who they can always rely on.

I'm so so so curious to read Mei's thoughts about Robin and their kiss. She must be so confused, poor girl!

AND...we are soon going to go on a partol with Lily and Tristan, aren't we? Please?!?

Author's Response: Oo I love hearing what people think! Lily's definitely very protective and would want to look after Hugo if it was his fault.

Thank you for liking Lucy! I think sometimes it's easy not to have enough nice characters but she's definitely there to remind everyone being kind is important.

And Mei gets her say next :)

Thanks for reviewing! xx


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Review #16, by Hasane VI

20th June 2017:
this chapter was very well handled. it's hard to write a panic attack in the third person (for me at least) because you don't have the full scope of the person's emotions.

i love how lily comes to Hugo's aid when it's clear he's troubled. and that last scene with lily and lorcan, that was a moment of vulnerability for lily. was it lorcan's presence that allowed her to freely cry, or was it a matter of time and place?

Author's Response: Thank you! I worry about misrepresenting aspects of the mental health concerns addressed in this story so it's always a relief to hear people thinking they've been dealt with correctly.

More on Lily and Lorcan later :)

xx


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Review #17, by Hasane V

20th June 2017:
i was right! there's no better feeling knowing you've predicted something correctly. but it's also kind of sad that i was right, i mean, someone's dead.

you've portrayed mei's shock (and maybe despair?) very well.

and i've got a better picture of lily now. she selective about the people she choose to trust, and of course hugo would be the first.

lily and hugo as a duo seem to be a staple in people's next gen story, but the relationship here seems to be different. not in a romantic sense, but just... different. i'm not sure how to explain it.

Author's Response: Well done! I love hearing people's predictions :)

I'm glad you thought Mei was convincing, and I think you've got a pretty good understanding of Lily's values.

Thanks for reviewing!

Emma x


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Review #18, by Hasane IV

19th June 2017:
mei and hugo's tentative friendship is kind of hopeful. to me it seems like hugo is very reserved, only keeping to the close circle of his family. glad to see that he's trying to break out of his shell.

ooh. that end was heartbreaking. i really hope it's not lily. but another face does come up though. i recall that lyra dyed her hair red and wore a green top to the party? maybe im wrong.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to leave these reviews! It makes such a difference to see what people are thinking at different points in the story, and gives great motivation to keep updating! I'm so glad you're interested reading and I love hearing your thoughts x

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Review #19, by Hasane III

19th June 2017:
aah there are so many different characters to keep up with! but they're all so interesting!

mei seems like a nice girl. it was the very first thought that came to me when we first met her. i have to applaud her for keeping her cool even when lily was being kind of stand-offish with her. i would not have been able to do that.

lysander has not made himself any less concerning, as i'm fairly sure that the girl he was with was not lily. cheater. i've got no respect for him.

Author's Response: Haha sorry! You've nearly met all the key players now :)

I think Mei's just so separate from Lily's world that it doesn't really bother her. I'll be interested to see what you think when they overlap a bit more xx


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Review #20, by Hasane II

19th June 2017:
i'm interested in Lucy and Lorcan's dynamics! lorcan is so shy and reserved compared to lysander, as he just puts himself out there doesn't he? lysander is honestly very concerning.

Author's Response: And I'm glad you enjoyed Lorcan and Lucy! Lorcan's definitely very different to his brother, and you're right about Lysander being concerning x

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Review #21, by Hasane I

19th June 2017:
what an amazing start to this story! i love how Lily changes from person to person as she interacts with them; going from daddy's girl, to the adorable little sister, and then a caring friend if not slightly indifferent with Hugo.

Author's Response: Welcome! So glad you'er enjoying it. I think Lily definitely changes her personality lots to match different people - I'll be interested to see what you think of her later on xx

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Review #22, by Violet Potter 434 XI

17th June 2017:
IS HUGO GOING TO COME OUT!?!?!
OMG!
I NEED THE NEXT UPDATE!

SORRY I'M SO LATE TO THE PARTY BY THE WAY

I've been at some real life parties

why are so many of my friends (wow- I know- the strange girl has friends!?) birthdays in June?

like sirusly? give me time to read people!

anyways
OMG so much drama

I love it!

Tristan is so kind!

ugh I need more though

you need to stop leaving me on cliff hangers- like I also really need to find out what happened between Mei and Robin

did they just kiss? or more? WHAT HAPPENED!

so yeah, I need an update
quick time


love from me xx

ps. oh btw this was another outstanding chapter incase I haven't said

Author's Response: Yay you're still here! I always love your reviews :)

More on Hugo soon but it's not a coming out conversation (sorry spoilers...)

And next chapter's Lucy and she has a chat with Robin about what happened so you'll find out soon!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing xx


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Review #23, by Shinicha XI

15th June 2017:
Another wounderful story of yours! You always manage to write completely addictive stories and create immense suspense that makes me want to read on and on forever.. I think it's the way you make the characters so real that they themselves build an unpredictable plotline and series of events - they dominate the plot and not the other way round. Also, the whole feel of LLTQ reminds me stronlgy of the tv show Skins - which I loved (at least the first 2-3 seasons).

Can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Thank you! So happy you're enjoying it. I'm loving writing this one and feel very attached to all the characters so it's lovely to hear what people are thinking.

Oo I can see how it's a bit like Skins - only ever watched Season 1 but I think Lily would have been right at home haha.

Thanks for reviewing! xx


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Review #24, by dracoismyboyfriendguys XI

15th June 2017:
Hi!
I'm absolutely loving this so far. Really enjoying the third person narration, it somehow seems on a different level from Complicated, like more mature if that makes sense? Anyways, I think that it really works in the sense of being able to explore different characters perspectives and with a darker subject matter overall. This whole story is giving me old school pretty little liars vibes and I absolutely love it.
Lily is such a well thought out character. I really like the way you've portrayed her; so different from just being Al/James's ditzy little sister or a mini Ginny. I'm excited to see where her story goes and I'm sort of hoping that things might work out for her and Tristan now. I'm not sure, but I'm getting a possible sense that Lysander and paige may have been involved before Lily broke up with him? Anyway, that was a cool plot twist and they frankly deserve each other. I got bad vibes from Paige from the beginning but maybe that's just my prejudice because I knew someone with that name who I hated so much oh my lord.
Lucy is such a sweetie! Really like her and Lorcans friendship and I can't wait to see what's in store for her, especially seeing how she deals with the chaos i'm sure will ensue in her family now that lily's role as queen b is being challenged.
Really liking Mei too!! I feel so terrible for her, I can't even imagine what she's going through at the moment but I'm glad she has people like Abdi with her! And Robin oooh I can't wait to see what's happening there! Robin seems like a great guy so if that does amount to anything then I'm sure it will be great.
I'm sure I've missed things which I wanted to mention, but overall, I'm having such a great time reading this and hoping for an update soon!
Alice xxx

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm loving writing this one - I feel like the characters speak to me a little bit more than those in Complicated (although I'm looking forward to Liv joining this story properly a bit later on...) and I'm liking the darker topics. I haven't watched pretty little liars but from what I've heard of it I can see how they seem similar.

Next chapter's Lucy so hopefully you'll enjoy that if you're liking her! I feel like she doesn't get as much screentime as the others so it's time to give her a bit more of a role.

I'm so glad you're enjoying reading. Will try to update soon! x


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Review #25, by Giu9_RedandGold XI

12th June 2017:
Brilliant chapter! I find Lily a very relatable character in a very unrelatable situation, if that's not too weird. It's unrelatable for obvious reasons, but also beacause she is very different from me. On the other hand, relatable because she feels so realistic and makes me think that she could be every seveteen-year-old girl, in that situation, dealing with the things she had to and is currently dealing with. With no magic, of course.

And she has a very complicated group of friends which seems to be deteriorating...I'm very curious to know what will happen next!

I really like Tristan! He seems very uncomplicated!!!

I hope you update soon! I'm still waiting to find out what happened between Robin and Mei!!! Even more drama to come, I hope!!! ;)

And I hope you update Fallen soon as well ;)

Author's Response: Thank you! So glad you're enjoying it :)

I adore Tristan. He was such an accidental character - initially he was just going to be a named guy who shares a room with Hugo but he somehow ended up being important in his own right. I'm pleased you like him too :)

And thank you for finding Lily relatable! I think in lots of ways she's not very likeable but it's nice to hear you you're understanding her.

Have hit a bit of writer's block with Fallen but am working on it :)

Emma xx


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