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1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PaulaTheProkaryote The Infernal Jelly

25th June 2016:
I'm starting this review by informing you that I'm reading this story for the rest of my life so when I say no pressure on updating the next chapter, I mean the exact opposite. Lots of pressure.

First of all, I'm so intrigued by the fact that James is Ellie's boyfriend, not Lily's. I think it's pretty clear where his hearts at though. Y'know since he left his girlfriend who'd been through what could arguably be a traumatic situation to be with her friend. I mean, I won't hate him for it though. I ship Jily hardcore.

I like that Ellie capitalizes on Lily's competitive nature to get what she wants. I think it's a bit manipulative (hint of Slytherin in her perhaps?) but I also think it really highlights how close they must be. I'm hoping these two remain good friends even as it seems likely Lily will find herself with an admirer in the form of her best friend's ex.

I LOVED your characterization of Sirius though. He's calculated but reckless seeming, he's controlled (even around his friends apparently) but he also seems very readable at times. I like that about him. He clearly cares at least a bit for Ellie.

The only person I feel bad for so far is the poor squid. Just trying to live his life, shake a few teenagers and drag them to the depths, and what does he get? Nasty jinxes that were undeserved!
My favorite technical bit about this first chapter is how well you write action scenes. There's a lot happening all at once and it would be easy to get lost in the action of it, but you've made sure everything is clear and you use nice choppy sentences. Those give off the sense of urgency but they also help anxious readers get through the matter quickly and stress for the characters.

Based on the summary it says James will be an ex and I'm pumped for the break up. I wonder how you're planning on doing it? A big whoop de doo cataclysm of screaming would certainly be very Gryffindor seeming but I kinda feel like it's just as likely that Ellie would shrug it off a bit and leave amiably. I really can't wait to see what you do there.

So far it seems like a good bit of fluff and I'm obsessed with Sirius/OC usually even more than wolfstar. I'm really hoping that you continue this story and update shortly (and no, I'm not just saying that. I'm not a nice person in general so I wouldn't lie to you).

Author's Response: Awww, thank you so much, this review has really made my day!

Your feedback has been so useful, and its really great to hear you liked it! I'll admit, it's not intended to be the most masterful story in the world, I just wanted to write something quite indulgent and fun after reading lots of fluff, so it's great to know it's still appreciated! Also, because it's a bit less sirius (uh, serious) than my other stories, it's a lot faster to write, so you can expect an update soon my friend.

Thanks again :)


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