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Reading Reviews for The Gifts: Neville
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp The Three Broomsticks

20th May 2016:
Hey Caity! Here to shower some review fairy sparkle on you.

First off - "I believe in you little one." Aw I loved this line, mainly because I call you the little one quite often xP (And I believe in you).

Second of all, this was amazing! I absolutely loved reading it. You portrayed Neville/Hannah in such a cute way, it had me gushing and smiling. Neville was adorable and real in his nervousness. I liked how Hannah was straightforward and came right out with it. And of course, Madam Rosmerta was cool to do this to bring them together xD

Your narrative was nice and precise and I quite enjoyed it. The dialogue worked well. And all in all, this was super cute and super awesome, yay for Neville/Hannah, and for your writing! Kudos!

Love
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response:
Hey Angie! I luv fairy sparkle!

Im glad you liked that line! I put it in there as a little hidden reference to you, so I'm glad you picked up on it!

Thank you! I'm pleased that you enjoyed it! I've always imagined Hanville as quite a cutesy, homey romantic couple. NEVIILLE'S NERVOUSNESS IS FREAKING CONSISTENT THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE SERIES. And very little Neville writers keep that adorable part of him. They scrap that piece of his essence. Ab Hannah was always straightforward. They're perfect for each other. Madam Rosmerta is freaking amazing. She's so self made with her own thriving business. I love her.

Im so glad the dialogue worked well! Dialogue is such a tricky thing to write and i'm glad this was good!

Hanville is cute and awesome and so a fic about them is of course gonna be cute and awesome.

Caity
x


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Review #2, by Dirigible_Plums The Three Broomsticks

14th May 2016:
Hello m'dear,

It's Plums here with the review you requested off me way back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth. Sorry about the long delay.

You mentioned characterisation in your concerns, but I don't think you have anything worry about. Neville was the way that I always pictured him in this era - more mature yet no less awkward and sweet. I enjoyed reading his nervous thoughts and worries and how he was still determined to admit his feelings despite it all. The matter of fact tone used when he tells her he loves her was another thing I liked. After all these hours of uncertainty, he simply admitted to it. The fact that it wasn't a grand declaration seems very Neville to me.

I think my favourite part of this one shot was these lines: "It was like a heavenly being had granted my greatest wish. The gift of a family." Sometimes, it's easy to forget that Neville didn't truly have a family. Though he had his grandmother and aunts and uncles, he never truly had his parents and a proper family in that sense so the lines shows part of his motivation. I liked how the gift was two things: the actual wedding rings themselves and what they symbolised.

On concrit: one thing I noticed was your tendency to slip in and out of past tense throughout the one shot. It began in past tense and ended that way, but moved into present tense with odd lines here and there. There was also this one sentence that I didn't understand when I first read it: "Coincidentally where my crush, works, is the bar that she is going to own very soon." Maybe you meant: "Coincidentally the bar where my crush works, one that she is going to own very soon"? Though I'll be honest, the word "crush" feels a bit out of place to me because they're in their twenties now and it's not usually someone would say at that age.

Hope this helps. :)

Plums xo

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Review #3, by Felpata Lupin The Three Broomsticks

29th April 2016:
Hello, my dear Caity!
Finally here with your requested review! Sorry for the absurdely long wait...

This was cute! I loved how you let Neville being guided by his instinct and some sort of destiny force... It seemed a bit as if he was under the Felix Felicis effect, I loved it! Also, I found it a very original take on Neville's character! :)

I loved how you included his thoughts about his parents in here, and the fact that he wishes for their advice and for the heat of a family. So sweet...

Hanna is adorable. I loved her nervousness and uncertainty. And I loved how her temporizing only increases Neville's nervousness as well. You can tell how similar they are!

Madam Rosmerta obviously knew better! Eheheh! They needed a push in the right direction. I loved how Neville jumped up and proposed! It's so sweet as well!

I do think that the flow wasn't perfect... The tone of the story felt a bit... simplicistic? I think some more depth here and there would've made it better... maybe including some memories about how they got closer during the war. Or adding some more description while Neville moves to the pub, or while they tidy up together... just ideas I'm throwing in...

Aside from that, this was a lovely little story! I always enjoy some good Neville/Hanna fluff and this was just adorable!

Thank you for sharing! And once again, forgive me for the lateness!!!

All my love,
Chiara

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Review #4, by filledwithwonder The Three Broomsticks

20th April 2016:
Hey there! Rach with your requested review! So sorry for the delay.

I thought this was a lovely telling of Neville and Hannah. I don't read too many Neville fics so this was a nice change of pace. You characterized Neville's nervousness quite well, but you also captured why he was a Gryffindor, which was really nice to see.

I like how Hannah was still scared to say Voldemort's name! JKR never really showed us the true aftermath of the war, so it was interesting to see how much of an effect it had on the people who were there. Neville's comfort is so adorable too! And I loved how Hannah took charge and confessed her feelings for Neville before he got a chance! I feel like that was a very Neville-esque thing to happen, haha.

As far as CC goes, I would say you could work a bit on your flow. You've got a really good structure, and your characters are lovely, but I think you could elaborate on some points which might help with the flow, from a description standpoint. There's a lot of dialogue that could be broken up with a line or two of description that would ease up the flow I think.

My favorite line was this: "Something feels very right sitting here after a long day." I thought it was so touching.

The proposal was a bit spontaneous, but I think it worked within the context of the story because they had been secretly in love for so long. And I love how his biggest wish was for a family! Heart-wrenching.

-R

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Review #5, by 800 words of heaven The Three Broomsticks

18th April 2016:
Heya! I am finally, FINALLY here to review your lovely Hanville story. Yay for Hanville!

Ah! This is just sooo cute! I am enamoured with their love story. Neville is very true to what we know of him from canon. He's still nervous and a little shy, but still quite the Gryffindor, deciding to approach Hannah about his feelings that way - and all of a sudden, too!

And Hannah! I would have liked a little bit more about her, but I understand that's a little difficult to achieve when writing in first person. But what we do get is just wonderful! She seems so capable - and that's just such a perfect match for Neville.

And OMG look at Madam Rosmerta playing matchmaker from beyond the grave! It's a little sad that she has passed away, but go figure she works out what's going on between the two of them before they ever do. What a sharp woman!

This is just such a lovely piece! Awesome stuff :)

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Review #6, by PaulaTheProkaryote The Three Broomsticks

16th April 2016:
Hello lovely person! :)

Can I start by saying that this was so very incredibly sweet and the exact pick-me-up that I needed today!

That being said, I'm sad that we lost Madam Rosmerta. I'm mentally pretending she retired and went on permanent holiday instead. Also, we lost Neville's parents! I feel so terrible that he wishes he had them for advice. I mean, of course he does, but that still stung. I think killing them off would be good though because they weren't going to live forever and it does the same thing I think Hedwig's death did. It showed the loss of his youth. Ugh, the heartbreak though. We lost too many people in Harry Potter so everyone else will be immortal. It's a fair trade off.

I can't help but feel like he's further proving his Gryffindorness. He didn't even need any liquid courage. I like that even five years later people had a hard time saying Voldemort. That really speaks to how harrowing his existence was.

Madam Rosmerta was seriously such a boss woman. Like she was the catalyst for the entire thing. That's so precious. I like that even in her last bit of time she was thinking about the lives of those closest to her and trying to improve their happiness.

I also loved the timing. Perfect timing! Christmas, he's on his way to her, she's on her way to him sorta. That's just perfect.

Sure, the proposal is certainly not 'sensible' but love never really is, is it? A family of his own is exactly what Neville needs. I imagine that like Harry, he'd have a yard full of babies himself to make up for what he didn't have.

Overall, I think it was such a sweet little fluff story that makes me feel the warm fuzzies. I absolutely adored it!

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Review #7, by victoria_anne The Three Broomsticks

14th April 2016:
Hey Caity ♥

I think your characterisation of Neville is great. He's definitely grown since the Battle of Hogwarts, but remains an uncertain and shy person and I think that's perfect.

Aw go Madam Rosmerta! She's got the right idea!

AHH HE PROPOSED! That was so sweet! What a gentleman! I love that he's going to get his happy ever after, this such a cute, feel good one-shot. Well done! ♥

Author's Response: OMG HEY BB!

TOTALLY DIDNT EXPECT THIS WOW. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING!!!

OMG yes I totally believe Neville never fully stepped out of his shell (unlike Matthew Lewis *fans myself*)

I LOVE MADAM R SHE IS SO FUNNY AND STRAIGHTFORWARD AND BLUNT and I want to hug her so much. I love her portrayal in the movies!

YES THE PROPOSAL. So many people didnt get my hidden proposal in Choices., and so I felt I ABSOLUTELY had to make it oh so clear and out there that he proposed.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Caity
x

P.S. Sorry for yelling so much


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Review #8, by Gabriella Hunter The Three Broomsticks

12th April 2016:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and sorry for the lateness. Real life has been a pain in my behind lately and I've hardly had the time to sit down and read/review.

There needs to be more Neville/Hannah stories on the archives because I would seriously love to read more about them. Neville is one of my favorite characters in the series so I thought reading a story from his POV was very interesting.

I've seen stories that feature him as a main character but we don't get much romance from him. That has always bothered me because I'm sure that he and Hannah have like, the purest romance ever.

What I really enjoyed about this is that Neville is so brave, confronting his feelings for her. He knows that he might not succeed but at the same time, he needs her to understand how much he loves her and that just says volumes about him.

I like that this changed a little bit with Hannah actually taking the lead and Rosmerta's letter was just too perfect. I think that maybe there should have been a bit more information about how Hannah and how she was faring after the War but other than that, I think this was a really good piece.

Like...I wish Neville would propose to me! I would seriously faint or something but Hannah is one lucky girl. Their confessions to one another were so genuine and sweet, I don't know how they got through seven years without melting into each other. :3

As for CC: I think there are a few paragraphs were you've missed a few words here and there. Your flow is good, maybe a little choppy towards the end but you've done a great job regardless. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: HELLO GABBBIE!

It's fine that it's late, I don't really mind!

I totally agree with you! Hanville is canon, so you'd expect quite a few, but I've never really heard of anyone writing Hanville who is on the forums, until 800 came out of the woodwork when I officially called myself a Hanville shipper!

Again I agree. Most stories about Neville are alternate Boy-Who-Lived, and so you dont really see much romance, especially because at Hogwarts they are in different houses.

Coming back now and re-reading it, I do realise that I kinda just plonked Hannah there, and so I probably will in the future go back and rewrite it.

I think we all would like that! Matthew Lewis is so freaking hot omg! Hannah is definitely lucky and if I was a witch I would definitely have sent them my congratulations when they got married.

OMG. I really missed words? Whoops. Again, another thing i'll address when I go back and rewrite it (or get a beta).

Thank you!

Caity
x



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Review #9, by velajune The Three Broomsticks

12th April 2016:
Hi Caity,

I'm here for the request review! Obviously, I love Neville and almost equally, I love anything that touches on his relationship with Hannah.

Before I tackle with a long review, I first want to gush about how I think this is a sweet one-shot about a love we never really got to see in the books. I liked your Neville, he had just the right amount of nervousness for me. And I loved the idea that he and Hannah were always meant to be. Oh, fated love.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love the full review you gave me through PM!

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Review #10, by TreacleTart The Three Broomsticks

11th April 2016:
Hey There!

I'm here for our review swap! I have to preface this by saying that Neville is one of my absolute favorite characters and with all of the trauma in his life, I sure hope this is going to be a happy one-shot.

Oh. I love that you started this as he walks through Hogsmeade to go see Hannah. It gives us a good chance to get an idea of how he's feeling and what he's thinking about.

The choice to use first person POV was smart as well since it really allows us to see things as he sees them. It definitely adds to the emotion of the moment.

It seems like destiny is ruling in Neville's favor tonight since Hannah wants to talk to him too. I have a feeling that she's grown tired of waiting for him to make the first move and is instead going to make the first move herself!

Woohoo! My instincts were correct! I'm so excited about this! The two of them are just the sweetest together.

Wow! Madame Rosmerta sure was forward with her request, but I'm so glad she said what she said. Otherwise, it would've probably taken Neville another year or two to work up the courage.

I will admit that things usually don't happen like this in real life. It takes more than just watching someone to fall in love with them. And sometimes even loving them isn't enough to get over the difficulties of living together or the obstacles that life throws at you, but it is a really sweet thought that they were just always meant to be together. That all of those years in Hogwarts they were paying attention to each other and that life managed to bring them back together.

In terms of CC, I just have a couple of quick things.

In the beginning you mention Neville's parents being dead. Was that purposeful, like an AU twist on this? Or was that an accident, cause in cannon they're alive, but insane.

Also, I picked up just a couple quick little typos. Nothing major.

I will not sit in and room a room or my room

I spent seven long years Hogwarts with you at Hogwarts

All in all, this was a very sweet one-shot that really made me smile. Good job!

~Kaitlin

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Review #11, by fwoopersong8 The Three Broomsticks

7th April 2016:
Hi :) It's Songs.

First off I have to tell you my favorite line:

"I must simply head back to Hogwarts dejectedly, and resign myself to living alone for the rest of my days."

Oh, Neville. I like how his character has changed since his school days -- he's still nervous, but he's not gonna let that stop him from going through with this. The proposal at the end was awesome too.

As for CC, I think you should have put in some more narrative. The dialogue seemed kind of rushed in places because there really wasn't any narrative stopping one line from running into the other. I also think Neville should have been more surprised about the will. Unless he expected Madame Rosmerta to do that? But who expects that?

Also, why did he have to explain that he didn't want a hangover? Does he normally get hangovers? Why did he have to add that clause?

Moving out of the realm of CC and into the realm of curiosity, what is the timeframe of this story? Is Neville a professor yet? I'm assuming so, since he said he would go back to Hogwarts.

Overall this was very cute. I enjoy their relationship; they seem like an awesome couple.

Except then you had to go put in the part about having kids. Why? Why?? I nearly spit out my cereal because of the feels!!!

Ah, well. Have a nice day. ~Songs

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