Reading Reviews for Do Not Touch Me
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by German native speaker My Demise

28th October 2016:
Hey there, I like your story but I couldn’t get past this first chapter without commenting on the German parts of your writing. I really don’t want to be nit-picking here but as a German native speaker I do have to say something for the sake of your story… most of your German translations do not mean what you think they mean.

First of all, „Ich bin nitch reiten, zug zur schule!“ literally translates to „I am not horse-riding, train to school”. What you want to say is: “Ich fahre sicher nicht mit diesem Zug zur Schule!” (Capitalisation is key in German).

“Ja sind sie!” means “Yes THEY are!”… the translation you looked up probably had the polite form of “you” which is “Ja sind Sie!” (Again, the capitalisation makes all the difference). What you want to say is “Ja bist du!” However, in your story it would make much more sense if her mum said “Doch das wirst du!” when she refuses to board the train.

“Ich liebe dich. Abschied.” Translates to literally “I love you, the goodbye.” Abschied is NOT a farewell wish but simply means THE goodbye. The correct version would either be “Ich liebe dich, machs gut” (less formal) or “Ich liebe dich, aufwiedersehen” (more formal)…. Also, in German there is a big difference between „Ich liebe dich” and “Ich hab dich lieb”… While they can both be used to express “I love you”, the former one is usually used in a romantic context (you’d say this to your boy-/girlfriend, lover, spouse, etc.)… it sounds a little odd to say “Ich liebe dich” directly to your parents, siblings, best friends, etc… you’d rather tell them “Ich hab dich lieb” (it is perfectly okay to say “Ich liebe meine Familie” (= I love my family) though when you are talking ABOUT parents, siblings, etc.)

And lastly, “Gehen sie auf nummer sicher und gesund“ does not make any sense in German. Again, you seem to have the formal “you” (Sie) here, which seems weird if she’s talking to her dad. Also „Auf Nummer sicher gehen“ means something like „to play it safe“, not stay safe. What you could say is “Pass auf dich auf und bleib gesund”

Again, I apologise if this comes across as rude, but I really thought you should know. I know it’s only fanfiction, but using correct translation just gives it so much more credibility and will benefit your story.

Good luck with your writing! :)

Liebe Grüße

Author's Response: First, I would like to apologize. It is never okay for someone to get it wrong. And I apologize for that. Second, you have not come across as rude. And I am very grateful for that. And I love that you pointed out why the translations don't make sense. It actually helps to understand where I went wrong. And that is just as much help as you translating correctly. And that is something that I can never you repay for. I have taken your translations and copied and pasted them so I can work with them. If you sincerely don't want me to do that, just let me know in another review. You honestly don't even have to continue reading because I am going to assume the rest of this story is just going to be painful for you. I think, since now I have somewhat of an idea on where I went wrong, I will be going back and trying to see what I can do. I personally, don't know any one who is fluent in German. So, I don't get this kind of instruction. But I am very happy you took the time to explain. So, thank you. You have been very gentle with me. And I appreciate that so much. Thank you for your help. Thank you for your words. And thank you for your review.

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Review #2, by Twins are the best Letters and Tears

24th October 2016:
I think that Scorpius an Calesta are a good pair! Scorpius can see when she needs her space and I really like his character :)

Author's Response: Aww That is a good pairing. But I have always seen Scor as a brother for her rather than a romantic interest. But thank you for the lovely works. I will take them into account.

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