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11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by bizinhavieira February 15th 1977

8th June 2017:
Oh! This is lovely! I have just recently started reading Marauder era stories, and this is the best Lily I have read so far. I'm looking forward for more chapters! Hope you keep writing.

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Review #2, by dracoismyboyfriendguys February 15th 1977

4th June 2017:
This is so adorable! Love love love the characterisation and doing such short chapters is definitely unique however I do usually love a good sub-plot so not sure how/if that sort of thing would be incorporated. But i do really love this and can't wait to read more!

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Review #3, by TheEmotionalTeaspoon 3rd November 1976

10th April 2016:
Oh gosh, another adorable chapter! I'm going to have to put this on my reading list because I'm really loving it! I'm not usually one for James/Lily (I like my men broody and with too much hair. Cough, Sirius) but I really love the way you write them. I can completely imagine this being canon!

I'm really interested to see how this progresses, since Lily seems to be quite firmly uninterested right now, I wonder what's going to make her change her mind?

I also really enjoy how the chapters are so short and sweet. I feel like you get to the good stuff straight away, and the pace and flow of the chapters has still felt really smooth and natural, so well done!

Looking forward to reading more :)

-Kate x

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Review #4, by TheEmotionalTeaspoon June 18th 1976

10th April 2016:
Oh my gosh! When James brought out the piece of paper he'd written his apology on I could not cope. That was just the cutest. thing. ever.

I really enjoyed reading this, you painted a great picture of the three characters involved, which is really impressive in so few words. I liked some of the little touches - like Lily half shouting the password at the fat lady, and both James and Lily talking to themselves at points.

Even though you focus on some quite sad events, like the friendship between Lily and Severus breaking down, I was still chuckling at some of those details, which I think is a sign of great writing!

Can't wait to read the next chapter :)

-Kate x

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Review #5, by pathfinder 3rd November 1976

6th March 2016:
For the Review-a-Thon

Dee,

This is an interesting concept - keeping chapters as short as possible. While some people might think that would be easy, Iím thinking it will actually be quite a challenge. Thereís only so much narrative you can pull in when you only have 500 words and I would imagine that keeping the story flowing - transitioning from chapter to chapter - is going to be tough. You certainly want to minimize how stop-start and choppy the end product is. You are almost definitely going to be limited to dialogue scenes since 500 words is only 4 or 5 paragraphs. I think some of your reviews might be longer...

I like the way you started - not going into the previous five years at Hogwarts, but just picking up after the scene with Snape. The way youíve established it, Lily definitely isnít in to him at all, so it will be interesting to see how you develop that relationship (after all, sheís pregnant with Harry in three and a half years). Iím also curious as to whether you are planning to pull in any other plot items...the first Wizarding War, etc. or if this is just going to be the romance.

As a reader, I also appreciate the time you took to edit this. I couldnít find any typos and your characters are all canon. The only recommendation I can provide (as I mentioned above) is to pay attention to the transitions as you go forward so that the chapters connect to one another in a continuous narrative. I think the first transition was good - going from James thinking Lily is into him; to him serenading her in the hallway. I would imagine the next one would have to do with Hogsmeade to tie it in.

Thanks for sharing your story and taking on a very interesting challenge!

-Drew

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Review #6, by princesslily_36 3rd November 1976

5th March 2016:
Hello again!

Ysh back for the HPFF Review-a-thon.

Ahh, a whole four months have passed and Lily still hasn't softened her attitude towards James :(

James Potter totally murdering Celestina Warbeck was hilarious!!! Caterwauling was the perfect word to describe it!

No wonder Lily was so pissed at him! That must have been so embarassing... (I thought it was cute, personally, and Lily is an idiot for not saying yes to James for so long :P)

The banter that follows is just as cute. She keeps shooting him down, and he just keeps hitting her with more. James Potter never gives up does he? There's something to be said for that kid's self esteem - iron clad, I say!

I do wish she wouldn't be so mean to him, you know. I mean underneath all that, he still has real feelings for her, and is probably too proud to show he's honestly hurt!

Added you to my Currently Reading! Hoping to see the next chapter up soon :)

XOXO
~Ysh

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Review #7, by princesslily_36 June 18th 1976

5th March 2016:
Hello!

Ysh here for the HPFF Review-a-thon!

JILY!!! EKS *fangirls* Thank you so much for linking me up to a Jily!!! I'm going to review as I read, so I don't miss anything :)

Lily's reactions initially were exactly how I imagined it would be - feeling emotional but refusing to cry out of sheer pride, oscillating between anger and hurt and resentment. And seeing the potions book must have made it all the more worse :( Poor Lily! Trust James bloody Potter to yell at her from downstairs :D

It was totally adorable how he read from a peice of parchment! So James Potter. I bet Remus wrote him that piece, didn't he?

And I especially liked that you didn't make Lily yell at James after his apology, because like you said, she must have been too emotionally drained to care.

And - she definitely fancies me - this is again SO James Potter - unbelievably oblivious to what is going on in her head. Isn't he adorable? I think so!

Wait. What? That was 500 words? No kidding!! It didn't seem so short at all! The dialogues, the descriptions, none of it seemed stunted by the low word count! I actually felt like quite a bit happened :D

Over to the next Chapter now :D

Thank you so much for linking me up to this!!

XOXO
~Ysh

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Review #8, by victoria_anne 3rd November 1976

2nd March 2016:
And hello again!

Another amazing scene! I love the way you write James, he's just so hilarious and arrogant. And Lily too, with her cleverness and hotheadedness.

ďRight now, Potter, a mountain troll is more attractive to me." - Ha ha that is definitely something Lily would say!

I look forward to the next chapter!

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Review #9, by victoria_anne June 18th 1976

2nd March 2016:
Hello there!

How did you manage to write such a wonderful little piece in 500 words?? There was still a sense of character, time, place, emotion... I love it!

James and Lily are two of my favourites, and as a collection of scenes between them, I know I'm really going to enjoy what you do here!

Honestly, this is what I like - short and sweet. Well these scenes are short and 110% sweet! I can't wait to see what you do with it :)

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Review #10, by PaulaTheProkaryote 3rd November 1976

17th February 2016:
Of course her potion will be fine. I'm so embarrassed for James. The boy has no shame. I definitely can side with Lily on being mortified by that. He sure is persistent though. Lovely story so far. I can't wait for the next updates!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm hoping to have it up in the next couple of days :)

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Review #11, by PaulaTheProkaryote June 18th 1976

17th February 2016:
I love these little snapshots. I can just imagine James just screaming at the bottom of the stairs with her finally relenting just to get him to shut up. It was a very convincing apology and I love his scribbled notes. The "she definitely fancies me" bit was adorable.

Author's Response: Thank you very much :)

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