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Reading Reviews for The Peaceful Days to Come
  
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by celticbard The Peaceful Days to Come

17th September 2016:
Hi IchigoPan!
I'm here from the BvB thread to review! This story was quite a refreshing change. Normally I read and write a lot of angst, so it was nice to read some fluff for once. I think you did a great job in creating a lovely story about a caring couple who spend a simple, but happy day together. Draco and Lexi both seemed very sweet and throughout the story, I genuinely felt that they loved each other. It was also nice to see them living a normal, realistic life full of chores and errands. I could quite easily picture them together in Diagon Alley, shopping for a present for Harry and Ginny. And I thought it was so adorable that Lexi made cut-out bunnies from the apples she bought Draco. It was a very thoughtful gesture. :)

At the same time, there were a few small things that briefly disrupted the flow of the story for me while I was reading it. First, you seem to use a lot of “ly” words to describe Draco and Lexi's dialogue, which is something I'm guilty of myself. I have heard, however, that it is preferable to use stronger verbs or just a simple “said” to tag your dialogue. Weak adverbs, consequently, weaken your prose overall. Secondly, you seemed to describe Lexi's hair a lot. I think you mentioned at least four times that it was raven colored. As I'm sure you know, it's best to avoid repetition, especially when it comes to a story of this length, when readers only need to be told once what color her hair is.

Otherwise, I thought this was a very cute story and an enjoyable read. Good job!

Best,
Lee Anne

Author's Response: Hey hey, Lee Anne!

Thanks for the BvB review! Always appreciate it! But I do have to say of all the stories you picked, you had to pick the one I didn't proofread upon posting (groans) lol.

But of course, the CC is gladly welcomed and I'll go back and fix everything you mentioned. And you know, I never realized how many times I did that with Lexi's hair. Jeez, that must've been annoying to read. I do apologize for that.

Thanks again for stopping by!
-ichigo :D


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