18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by May Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

14th February 2018:
I enjoyed this chapter it was a different kind of James and Lily storyline

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Review #2, by alicia and anne Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

23rd May 2016:
Oh Sirius! Teasing Lily already!

I wouldn't trust Sirius to pour me a drink if I was Lily, though, I would be wary of what he's done to it.

Lily does not seem happy tonight, I wonder why? Oh no, I would end up there too if I had an evening like hers.

Uh-oh I think that Lily is a little jealous of the attention that James is getting from that lady.

I can see that there is going to be exciting times with all of this drinking that's happening! :D

Oh no! That girls boyfriend is there! Oh no James, deny being involved!

Oh James! OUch! That punch sounded painful. ANd yes! Go Lily defending him!

That line was smooth and so romantic! James is still so hung up on her and I love it.

Oh no! It can't end like that with James being so sad that she's denying they should be together. :(

Fantastically written! And so hot! I love this!

Author's Response: Tammi!

First off, you are just splendid for doing this! I swear!! 100 reviews in over 22 hours, just marvelous :O

Secondly, AW... I just loved your reactions to the story as you were reading it. Haha... James had to take that nasty punch for all his cockiness, he really did!

And Lily's jealousy, always a wonder to see. I have a weakness for Jealous!Lily

I'm Glad you enjoyed this you amazing you!!


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Review #3, by SilverMoonFairy Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

3rd May 2016:
That. You. Wow.

*reaches for a glass of ice water*

I can't believe you did all of that and then went and ripped my heart out! There should be some sort of sequel. I will hunt for one, whether or not it exists.

I love how the story opened, and I must admit that, at first, I doubted it being a Lily/James as it seemed that it should be a Lily/Sirius, but it all played out beautifully and I very much enjoyed it! And the scene! It was! I didn't know we could DO that on here! But you did it beautifully! The characters seemed so real to me that I could totally see all of this being canon!

I would suggest possibly going through for a quick edit. There's nothing story-wise wrong, there are just a few messed up pronouns and I think the beginning of one sentence was not capitalized, but I can't recall which one. Just a tune up edit! Don't touch anything else because it's all perfect!

Thank you for such an entertaining and engaging read! I wish there was more! ^_^

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Review #4, by velajune Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

6th April 2016:
Dear Ysh,

2 months late!!! I'm so sorry and you requested another, that I swear I will get to next week! I'll just get right into it. :)

A James and Lily shipping. I don't particularly like nor dislike this pairing and it's only recently that they've been on my radar, so it's always interesting to me how people portray them. Also, I enjoy Marauder stories. They're just so quirky.

Whenever there is James... there is Sirius. Lol I pretty much cracked up right at the beginning. Lily and Sirius are always butting heads in my mind, but I also see them as very similar people. And I get that sense in your writing also, which I liked very much.

I have never ever, ever, seen someone compare Vernon to a walrus. So, the laughing continues.

The story flowed very well for me right off the bat, as you can tell. The banter between Sirius and Lily felt very natural to me and for the entirety of your story, I felt that your choice of words were spot on. That made it easy for me to read.

A drunk Lily though... It reminds of the scene with Hermione downing her Butterbeer, except here, it's actual alcohol. Tsk Tsk, Lily.

Anyway, the use of squib threw me off. I look at the word and I see it much like I see Mudblood. It's degrading and James taunting a guy, who had a right to be angry, ugh. Oh James. Why? Lol

When I read your James and Lily, it has this uncanny way of being a bit like Dramione. There's tension and there's also a kindred spirit/ friendship between them. I love Dramione, and that's why I say this. Please don't take it the wrong way if you may not like Dramione (I know you love the Marauders Era), but it just has that similarity to it that I loved.

This quote comes from a Dramione fic that I love dearly. "It's strange how people can long for something that never happened. How people can physically ache for an almost. A nothing that could have been something." It's a quote that I think embodies a lot of what this story conveyed to me. Except in this story, Lily and James cross that line. Lily's desperate wish to pretend like everything's normal really broke my heart, but I understand her fear and her hesitation to be with James. I see James as a jerk growing up and not completely changing. I'm not even mad at her for turning away.

Throughout this story you did three things to me. 1. Made me ship Lily and James. 2. Break my heart as Lily broke James'. Lastly, you got me to agree with Lily and I think, this was such a beautifully written story.

I hope this was your intention, if not, I still think it was all very well done.

Until next time,

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Review #5, by TidalDragon Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

24th March 2016:
Howdy Ysh! Yes, I have finally arrived to leave the review you requested.

Knowing the challenge this was written for, I was initially quite skeptical, even if it was about one of my favorite ships. However, by the end I found myself quite pleased to have read this. Unlike so many romance fics about James and Lily, you took time to develop a backstory, give a reason for the setting, and give each character definitive characterizations. The care was notable in both the dialogue and description of their actions and I thought the characterizations were quite plausible based on canon even if they differ from my own.

For me, I did feel the ending was slightly abrupt, though I'll confess that may be because I was hoping for a happier one. That said, its ambiguity was in a way refreshing BECAUSE it took a middle ground that is quite atypical of the genre.

Thanks for sharing this! Hope you found my commentary belatedly helpful :p

Author's Response: Heya,

No worries, I'm glad you dropped by :)

I did request at your thread because I knew you were a Jily fan... sorry I made you uncomfortable with the challenge, that wasn't my intention. But I did want to have it done tastefully, and I'm glad that came across.

My favorite things about the Marauders era are how the same information we know can be interpreted and characterized in different ways. I like to steer clear of the goody-goody Lily who is seen barking her head off at James, and love-sick James who doesn't seem to have self-respect. Well, that's probably just the effect of having read some badly written Jily. I know a lot of authors who pull off these characterizations so wonderfully. Well, I digress.

Ah a happier ending wasn't on the cards, because I like to think Lily gave James a lot to chase before they actually got together.

Thank you so much for stopping by, and I hope you had a good read :)

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Review #6, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

13th March 2016:
Hi there dear! I'm here with your prize for winning a round of Pass the Parcel! First off, let me just say 'Congratulations' - and thank you SO much for helping us celebrate HPFF's birthday! And now, on to your review! I'm reviewing as I read, so if this seems to change topics kind of suddenly, that's why.

Okay, so first off, this story is addictive and it flows very well! I meant to read the first few paragraphs and then comment, and I made it halfway through before I even realized what was happening!

I was really curious as to why Lily was having such a rough day, but then when she mentioned Petunia it all started to come together. And Sirius was actually really nice to her there! I think needing to pay his own way after moving in with the Potters is a great explanation for why Sirius would be working there, so kudos on that! But eeek, it sounds like she's got some jealousy issues when it comes to James - I hope things are sorted out by the end! Honestly, I thought at the beginning this was going to be a Sirius/Lily story, but now I'm wondering if it's somehow going to become Lily/James! *Keeps reading*

Oooh, she's ogling James! Must.. read.. more! Okay, first of all, it kind of breaks my heart for Lily that James says he's over her. But, I imagine it must have gotten pretty frustrating for him trying to convince her all that time! And LOL! The 'James Henry Potter' line was HILARIOUS!

Awww, Lily protecting him is so sweet! And *gasps* GO LILY! haha! :P

Aw!!! OMG that line was so sweet!! (The 'I'm over you until I see you smile again' bit, in case you were wondering). Just aw!! ♥ And oh wow, those two certainly DID get caught up in the heat of the moment, didn't they?!

And oh no!!! Nooo Lily don't do that! Why would you go and tell James something like that!?!? GO to Hogsmeade with him already!! *Facepalm* Poor James, she's just broken his heart all over again! :( I mean, I understand where she's coming from, but still.

Anyway, this was a really, really addictive and well-written story, dear! Your description was amazing and it flowed wonderfully! I'm going to cross my fingers and hope for a sequel!! *Crosses fingers*

Great job, and again, congratulations on winning pass the parcel!

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Review #7, by Jayna Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

6th March 2016:
For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

Hey there Ysh, sorry for the lateness of this swap! Okay, so having read all of the Smuttastic challenge entries, I can see that yours is one that focuses a lot of the set up. However, I think that the set up gave a lot of insight into the whole relationship between Lily and James in a way that just saying it flat out couldn't. It's really great that you didn't come out and say that Lily has some feelings for James, you kind of let the story tell itself. It made it a whole lot more interesting, and I think it showed that whether or not Lily realizes it, she does have feelings for James.

In addition, I think that the set up also helped explain why Lily said what she said once it was all over.

Another thing you did really well was having the smut scene be part of the story, not the whole story itself (which goes hand-in-hand with the build-up). I've read all of the entries, and some of them have the smut as the story, with very little more than that. Here we've got a real story with a plot twist and everything!

So yeah, great job overall, and thanks for a wonderful swap (and for your wonderful previous review)!


Author's Response: Hello Jayna!

Isn't the review-a-thon so much fun??? Ah, don't worry about it.

I must confess, I did focus a lot on the set up because then, I wouldn't have to focus on the actual scene (seeing as I was increasingly uncomfortable writing it)

I am so happy that you liked the set up, because I was a little worried it took the attention away from the actual point of the challenge, but your feedback reassures me that I've made the right choice.

Thank you so much for the swap, and your lovely review did make my day :)


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Review #8, by maraudertimes Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

6th March 2016:
Hello! Here for our review swap and for the HPFF Review-a-Thon!

This was amazing! I'd seen it entered in the smut*tastic challenge and I wanted to look at it because I'm a sucker for Lily Evans and James Potter (honestly if I had to choose an OTP it would definitely be them). And let me just say this did not disappoint. Can you write a sequel? Please? Because I need it? I need to know if they got together? (I know they did, but for some reason I need you to write this. Like now. I need you to write it now please and thank you - NOW!) Oh and I'm favouriting this. This is amazing. Just thought you should know.

I really like the little things you gave each of the three main characters - Sirius and his need to work (I love how you worked his family kicking him out into that), Lily and her family problems (I love how you added the part about Petunia and Vernon getting engaged), and James with his smug attitude and of course the hair (also I think the only one who didn't notice he was still head over heels for her was Lily). You really wrote very substantial characters and because they're canon that made it that much more impressive because we already know some of their stories.

I'm not gonna go into detail about how that scene made me feel but darn it makes me want someone to banter with and call names before they kiss me. Oh sad and lonely Lo. And here you are capitalizing on that. I need a James Potter. That line about every time she smiles made me die inside.

The ending makes me so mad though, like obviously he still likes her, LILY GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS!!! It's so obvious that he likes her why can't she realize that and they can be happy and lovey-dovey ohmigoodness how could you do this to me. Although I must admit, it is very in-character for Lily to do that (even if I don't like it).

This was really amazing and I love it, truly. Please, please, please, write a sequel - I need a sequel to this in my life like right now. Your writing is amazing and I think you should write a sequel. Your characters are amazing and they'd do wonderful in a sequel. The ending was such a cliffhanger which means you should write a sequel. Thanks so much for this swap, it was so much fun! We should do another when you write that sequel! :P

But truly, this was amazing, thank you so much for the swap!
Lo :)


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Review #9, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

5th March 2016:
“For the HPFF Review-A-Thon”

“Hey, I’m just trying to earn an honest living,” he protested, widening his eyes innocently.

You’ve hooked me again. Your writing and characterization is just brilliant.

“Hope she hexes his balls off,” she muttered rather viciously, grabbing the Firewhiskey from Sirius’ hand and taking a large sip.

Good heavens. I’m blushing.

“I'm James Henry Potter. I'm pretty sure my grandfather was not called Sodding.”

The best line. I can’t stop laughing.

“Until the next time I see you smile. And then, I have to get over you all over again.”

God, what a cheesy line and yet I feel like I could melt in a puddle right next to my computer.

Woah, that got racy quickly. Been there, don’t that. Not in an alley though. Well…

This isn’t about me. This review is about you and your wonderful writing that has completely captivated me yet again. James was superb. I thought he was everything but Lily drunk and jealous was what sold me. I could also see Sirius working at a bar, no doubt about that and trying to listen to people’s problems, give them horrible advice probably one way or another.

I really liked the interaction between James and Lily. Not the sexual part, though that was written well, but what lead to it and then the after effects. We’ve all had those moments, or I have anyway, where we don’t want to truly admit our feelings but we give and sometimes it goes too far. We blame the alcohol. We don’t want to define it afterwards. We don’t want to fully accept that we’ve given in and it felt so good to finally say yes because when we’re back home alone saying yes feels a little empty because we haven’t fully committed. I think that’s what she’s going home to. A lot of self doubt and wonder.

Author's Response: Dee!!

How much fun is the Review-a-thon!?

I absolutely love it when people quote my lines and tell me that they liked it *blush* Thank you so much for that :D

Lily drunk and jealous isn't what you see often, but I always loved to picture her as less than perfect.

Sirius giving horrible advice - that image totally cracked me up! It's so fitting isn't it :D

Yess... I've often thought of a sequel and wondered how she would handle it, and you're right - she's probably going to be feeling horrible and wonderful all at once. Ooh your review has set off a sequel plot bunny, maybe I should get working on that :D

Thank you for the review Dee


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Review #10, by Dirigible_Plums Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

18th February 2016:
Hey Ysh,

It's Plums with your requested review. I've had this up on a tab for days and...may have, ahem, thought I'd already left it... *blushes*

So I don't know what I was going to start this review with because as soon as I read the last bit, I was just like NO. LILY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. YOU DON'T JUST HOOK UP WITH JAMES POTTER AND THEN BRUSH IT OFF. YOU'RE MEANT TO BE!

Meant to be, I tell you!

I mean, I do understand her insecurities. I can see why she wouldn't be completely convinced that James wasn't just messing around since he went through a string of girls. Getting with a boy that was known for that like this would leave any girl insecure. I can see that she was trying to protect herself from being hurt as well as keep his friendship.

Now that's out of the way, let's move on. Well, this was written phenomenally - I can see why it won second place in the challenge ;) Congratulations on that, by the way! I particularly liked how you wrote the actual deed being done. I know you worried about how tasteful it actually was. All things considered, it was a lot more tasteful than most of the smut I've read. You managed to convey the raw passion of the moment without making seem trashy, something I seriously commend you for considering they slept together in a back alley while drunk :D

One thing I've noticed is that I really like your characterisation of the Lilys you write. A lot of people tend to make her a copy of Hermione, but once again, you've managed to stay away from that. I do feel quite sorry for her on the Petunia front - I can't imagine that feeling her sister slip away from her was pleasant and I don't blame her for wanting to drown her sorrows in alcohol.

The beginning of this in particular kept cracking me up. Lily's reaction to anything James did and Sirius' not-so-subtle interfering makes for a great story. Lily's jealousy was great! I love the turning point in Jily fics when Lily becomes the piner and not the pinee. Reading about her fall off her high horse in this way is great, especially when she refuses to admit it like here.

I really liked this part because it was just too cute!

“Yeah,” he said matching her tone. “I’m over you now.” He paused. “Until the next time I see you smile. And then, I have to get over you all over again.”

Plums xo

Author's Response: Dearest Plums!

it's so great to see you around here!! Ahh well, don't worry about the tab thing. I do that a lot too :D

Ahh yes they are meant to be *sniff*! The way I see it, James was trying to get over her, overcompensating by turning into a Sirius himself, and any girl would feel insecure with that, wouldn't she?

Thank you so much Plums *blush*, I was nervous about how it was done, considering it was in a back alley and had every potential of being trashy. Your feedback makes me so happy!

Ahh, yes my Lily here is my favorite headcanon of her. I like it when Lily isn't perfect, when she had a life, and when she was a normal teenage girl. JKR said in an interview that Lily was really popular, somewhat like Ginny, and that set me thinking that she musn't have been like Hermione at all.

That's my favorite point in Jily fics too! When the tables get turned and she starts pining for him! And I love it that it's around the time he begins to pull away. there's just so much tension when that happens, isn't there?

Thank you so much for your lovely review Plums! It's always amazing to hear from you


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Review #11, by UnluckyStar57 Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

13th February 2016:
Hi! I'm here for our swap. :)

I really love Jily in any form or fashion, but unfortunately, I'm always quite uneasy about smut. It isn't really my favorite thing to read because some of it can be pretty...descriptive. However! I really enjoyed reading this one because it was about way more than just the smut! So thank you so much for putting in a little more substance!

For instance, I really love the way Lily was so angry at Petunia and everything. That is an awesome excuse to get her back to the magical world for a drink--she's feeling really crappy about her family and only magical alcohol can help. I also like that she talked about it, at least a little, with Sirius and James. Even though they don't seem like they're great friends with her, they're still willing to listen to her.

Though I kinda wanted to punch Sirius for his comment about Lily's chest, tbh. #rude

Lol, anyways, your descriptions of things were very well done! I especially loved the names of the various shots--Dragonbreath sounds like a really scary one! And it was really cool that as Lily starts to get tipsier, she starts to notice small details more...like James's arms. ;)

As far as the smut part, I don't read smut so I'm not the best judge of it. However! I again really appreciate that it is just a small moment between them--and yet one that means so much more in the grand scheme of their relationship. So that definitely continues the theme of this story being about more than just the hooking up, which is really awesome!

Ooh, they aren't going to come into this relationship easily, are they? In some ways, I hate it for them because they're just making things unnecessarily complicated (because they're drunk and overdramatic anyway), but in other ways, I love it. This is no fluffy happy ending story, and I think you were also more able to explore that through the smut genre. Relationships are more than just flowers and chocolate--sometimes they're complicated by darker things, like having drunken trysts in a back alley with a guy you thought you didn't like. They're not just going to move on from this--it's going to be so painfully awkward, and that is just beautiful. So brilliant job on writing these complicated things!

Also, this all happened after James got into a brawl about another woman with that woman's boyfriend. Whoa. It's good to know that James has interests outside of Lily, and that he's obviously trying to get over her (without much success), but oh man, this is one of those "shoulda looked before you leaped" scenarios. I hope that Sirius and Tom can get things settled down okay!

Wow, this is really such a sad ending. I keep forgetting to mention how much I loved that James said that he has to get over Lily every time she smiles. Like, that's a bit of a cliche but it totally works in the context? And Jily is all about the cliches, which is part of why I am trash for this ship. So it isn't a bad thing, I promise! I loved it, probably more than I loved the smutty parts. :)

And yeah, Lily isn't going to get over James. They're meant to be together. She just doesn't know it yet! Hopefully they can run into each other again and keep talking things out so that they can just decide to stop being stupid and date already. But I mean, in fanfiction the pre-relationship part is always the best if you want sexual tension in your story. And the sexual tension after they hooked up was incredibly powerful. It was like a separate character almost. :D

I wanted to close this review with saying that I really admire you for going out on a limb and writing smut! Like I said, I wouldn't know where to begin with that, and you wrote this so well! I'm very happy that this story was so enjoyable and interesting to read--you did a really great job on it.

Thanks again for the swap!


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Review #12, by Owlpost68 Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

12th February 2016:
Ok, hi, it's Heather from the Red vs Gold Battle for team red!

I really liked the premise for this story, that she was there because of Petunia and Vernon being horrible and also, really liked that you had Sirius working at the Leaky Cauldron, it hadn't occurred to me at all. I was a little confused to the timing of this story. Was it just before 7th year or during? I got the impression it was during because James mentioned Hogsmeade. It was really funny when the confrontation between James, Lily and the "boyfriend" was happening. It sure helped James had his cloak! Then of course the spontaneous moment they had. After the comment James made about every time she smiles he needs to get over her again. Ugh, strait to the heart!
And I know that they couldn't have just got together after that, but jeez! Lily, come on! :P At least say that they should at least take it slower from then on, something!
Anyway, that was my frustration. Honestly, I loved the whole thing, the honest moment with Lily and Sirius was great too.
Great job!

Author's Response: Hello Heather!

Thank you for stopping by this story to check it out! The timing of the story is set in 6th year Christmas vacation because Sirius is 17 at the time, but Lily and James still aren't. But James has his own way of getting things, doesn't he?

I badly wanted them to get together as welL, but then she wouldn't be Lily if she didn't behave stupidly when it came to James would she?

She just didn't get that James was trying to get over her, and she was being realily cautious because of his reputation as a serial heart breaker (a la our dear Sirius)

I hope I write a sequel to this soon. I hate to see them leave it this way!

Thank you for stopping by and giving your feedback!

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Review #13, by Gabriella Hunter Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

11th February 2016:

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review for our swap! Argh, I've really missed you and I hope you will forgive me for being kind of absent lately.


I am so upset that I never got a chance to participate fully in the Smut*Tastic Challenge because this is SO totally up my alley (No pun intended. Hehehe) but I am having a lot of fun reading these stories!

I honestly really love the fact that you've chosen to show a very different version of Lily here. We usually see her being so hot tempered but I like the idea of her being kind of out of her element, cranky and just plain miserable. It's very realistic and she seems like someone we've all been friends with at a certain time.

I think that you weaved in her background and the secondary characters so brilliantly. I can almost breathe this whole setting in and see exactly what she sees. I think that your version of Sirius and James were great too, they have the same prankster quality about them but there's maturity as well.

There's this wonderful banter between the three of them together and I really enjoyed Lily's conflicted feelings about James. The attraction is there and you can practically taste it but while she's drinking, getting a bit tipsy and craving him, James is doing the same. I wanted them to do something, of course but I love that you didn't rush into anything and this story has such a nice plot.

James nearly being beaten up of course is something that I think we've all read before but the way you've done it is brilliant. He's so witty and annoying but there's just something so endearing about him. He's so soft towards Lily and the fact that they talk about their mutual attraction for one another and deny that it would ever mean anything, just makes me love the eventual scene more.

As someone who reads smut on a daily basis and enjoys writing it from time to time, I have to say that this was beautiful. It wasn't overly descriptive or graphic but the way you brought them together, in the heat of the moment just really made me appreciate your writing. It's lovely, down to every last detail and you break down every sensation so well.

I read it twice and I am not ashamed to admit it. Haha.


Now, this story doesn't exactly have a happy ending but there's this HOPE that things will get better or that they'll admit their feelings for one another. It left me anxious for more and I hope you pick up on this at some point because I'd love to know what happens to these really unique, passionate characters.

Thanks for the fantastic read! ;)

Much love,


Author's Response: Dearest Gabbie *hugs and cuddles*

I've missed you so much!! And I hope you're back for good now.

Your first reaction made me grin so wide. Yummy is a lovely adjective :D

Awww, it's a shame you couldn't enter that lovely story of yours. It would have given us all a tough competition.

The Lily here is my personal headcanon for her - the side of her we rarely see in fanfiction, and honestly I'm so glad you find her both realistic and relatable.

I'm glad you liked Sirius and James as well... I struggle with descriptions (I tell ratehr than show) and I'm heartened to see that you were able to see the setting so clearly.

Ah yes, Lily's silent craving... I love it when it's her turn to crave for him... and when it seems like James doesn't seem to care anymore.

There was James, Lily, a bimbo and alcohol... they had to talk about the past!

OMG, that coming from you is high praise indeed!! I was so uncomfortable with the scene, but your review (and the others) have really raised my morale, and I'm even thinking of including these scenes in my other stories as well.

Ahh the sequel... I do have a storyline in mind, but I'm looking for the right time and inspiration to pen it down. Hope it's soon :D

I read your review more than twice because it was just so lovely... and your words set my heart singing.

Loads of love, and thank you for the amazing review!


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Review #14, by ABlack Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

5th February 2016:

Hogwarts’ Snogmaster?

*starts giggling*

Normally I’d start a review commenting on the beginning of the story, but really how could I when you slip in Hogwarts’ Snogmaster? I might have to steal that one.

Okay then, let me do this properly. Sirius was just wonderful in the first part of this tale. He certain took to his position as a bartender exactly how I’d imagine: flirting for tips and ogling lovely bits. I love how Lily doesn’t necessarily trust Sirius getting her a drink.

James behaved just like the prat everyone expects, which is what makes the fight scene so funny. And Lily showing her Gryffindor colors, bashing the guy in the head with a bottle. Admittedly I didn’t think she’d be the one to do that (I thought Sirius would) but it works quite well.

You worked in your two items seamlessly. The inclusion of the firewhisky and back alley didn’t seem forced at all. Good job.

And another thing. This can’t be your first time writing smut. Because really, you did a great job steaming up that back alley while tastefully skirting the edge of the ToS. It was all too easy to visualize everything, and just goes to show what’s implied can be positively titillating.


Author's Response: Hey Alexis!

*hides face and runs away*

Sorry, I always get nervous when the Challenge holder drops in to review.

*Teehee* I'd have wanted Sirius to be the Hogwarts' Snogmaster, in all fairness - but for the sake of the story, let's say James, shall we :D

Aww yes, the lovely Sirius behind the bar is definitely a distant dream isn't it?

I have to confess, when I first planned the scene, it was going to be Sirius who hits the guy with the bottle, and Lily who asks James to use his cloak and get away. But my muse had different ideas, and seemed to think that a drunk Lily would have the courage to do that instead.

I'm glad the inclusion of the prompts didn't seem forced at all.

*giggles awkwardly* It is my first time writing smut, which is why I spent so much time on the build up to the actual scene. I'm so glad you liked the story, and the descriptions :D

Thank you for hosting this lovely challenge, and I had a lot of fun writing for it.

*crosses fingers*


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Review #15, by IchigoPan Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

2nd February 2016:
I guess we can say James' balls are currently free of being hexed off anytime soon.

Wonderfully written story. The way you described each character's action is how I pictured them frame by frame in a movie. And the fight scene, oh the fight scene! For some reason, I had Jack Sparrow's image in my head for James when he confronted the big, bad boyfriend of the chesty, fit blonde xD It's always the chesty ones that get a bloke in trouble...

And poor, poor sodding Potter, hiding his broken heart behind his bird chasing ways as his coping mechanism for Lily. The creme de la creme scene (I had to write a longer descriptor since your story rating won't let me use the "s" word Austin Powers loves so much) was tastefully written. Augh, Lily, it's so obvious you're into James, but your foolish pride got in the way. Can I hex her boobs off or something? lol

Author's Response: Hello! And thank you for checking in with the story!

Ooh its such an honor to know that my descriptions made it play out like a movie in your head. That was my intention. Oh yes, Jack Sparrow is the perfect parallel to the scene, isn't he?

A www, I'm so happy you feel it was tastefully written. Poor James :-( I always felt Lily was a little stubborn and not thinking straight when it ccomes to James alone. James was only trying to get over her, but obviously she perceived it the wrong way. Can you blame her? But I kinda want to though :D

Thank you for stopping by,

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Review #16, by TearsIMustConceal Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

30th January 2016:
Hi Ysh, here with your requested review, finally! Sorry it's taken me so long!

Ysh you killed me at the end. How could Lily do that? Urgh, she's a Gryffindor, I wanted her to be brave and just give in and admit it to him but she still can't do it. Poor James, he was so defeated and hurt, how can she hurt him? Silly Lily! She doesn't have any idea what she's doing to the poor boy!

Sirius at the beginning, I love a good story with Sirius in and you didn't disappoint. He just adds comic relief and you just have to love him. He has such a good balance – he knows when to joke but he also knows when to tread carefully and rein it in and show his other side – he obviously has family issues so you know he sympathises with Lily which is cute. He's one of my favourite characters. And of course, who doesn't love his winking to the customers for a better tip and him complimenting Lily on her boobs!

Oh James. I loved James in this! From his cockiness to his teasing Lily and then admitting she was right. You've really captured James here perfectly and he's exactly how I imagine him to be. And then boyfriend coming in. “I'm James Henry Potter. I'm pretty sure my grandfather was not called Sodding.” this is just so typically James (I could also imagine Sirius saying something like this too, actually) and I laughed so much at this because I could picture this so clearly in my head! And then calling the guy a squib, James just doesn't know when to stop!

Lily hitting him over the head was great! You can tell she's had a drink because she would never usually do that but it also shows that she does care for James. And then running off to hide in an alley, with the giggling and the closeness, it was so cute and I just want them to be so happy together! We see in this that she obviously finds him attractive but she just can't seem to let go of the doubt in her head!

Everything about this was well written and it definitely didn't show that this was your first time writing smut! The whole piece flowed really well and I think you showed Lily's feelings of doubt really well, with respect to how she sees James and how you portrayed him, with the blonde in the bar; it's not hard to understand her uncertainty of getting involved.

It was all amazing Ysh! I hope you do really well in the challenge!


Author's Response: Hello Vicki!

Thank you so much for stopping by! And on my birthday that too *blush* You made my day :D

Aww, I'm so sorry youf elt so bad about the ending, but honestly I didn't intend it to be that way at all. But as I wrote the story my muse just took over. Poor James, I feel for him too. Lily did give him a hard time before she finally said yes, didn't she?

Ahh yes, Sirius is always lovely to write. He has everything you know - he can be a comic relief, a friend in need, a good ear, a daredevil and a sulky, moody person - whatever you need him to be. Of course, the flirting sexy Sirius has to make an appearance *drool*

I'm soo glad you like my James Potter. The way I've pictured both Lily and James here is my personal headcanon, and I was a bit worried that they might seem too OOC, but you have honestly made my day!

I'm so glad you enjoyed this story, and yes Lily's uncertainty had reason, but honestly she needs to see how much James likes her!

Thank you so much for your review and wishes, Vicki! So sorry I took so long to respond to it.


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Review #17, by Felpata Lupin Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

30th January 2016:
(I used Google translator, I hope it's right... :P)

Ok, so... the story...
I'm slightly angry at you right now, to be honest... Erm, no, not at you, actually... At Lily mostly... I mean, I do understand that she's scared but, Merlin! How can you reject someone who is so amazing and so clearly in love with you and that you are clearly so in love with, just because you are afraid that it won't last??? Where is your Gryffindor bravery???

Sorry, I had to pull it out... And now (finally) to the real review! ;)

First of all, I loved Sirius! He's just so... Sirius! You know what I mean, don't you?
I loved how he was so typically cocky and quizzical (this sentence was just perfect: 'An innocent Sirius was as probable as a flying kneazle.') but how you included also what I call his "Serious side". I loved the little reference to his family and his sympathy when Lily mentioned her troubles with Petunia.

Lily's reactions at James' physical was very... interesting, let's say. Interesting for her, I mean. I loved how she was sort of shocked at realizing how attractive he is. Once again, can't she just admit that she likes him and let them both be happy together? We all know they will anyway (not for long, but that's another matter...)

And James too is just so James!!! You captured his character perfectly! The way he teased Lily, and then his relaxed attitude in the scene with the angry boyfriend... As I said, perfect!!!

Talking about the smut... Well... I must admit... I'm on the embarassed-blushing side, too... I try to avoid reading the genre and surely I would've never dared to write this. You have all my esteem for even entering the challenge. But you did a great job with it, at least in my modest opinion.

Absolutely wonderful job, my dear! You are wonderful! I love your writing! But you already know that, don't you?

Sending love, hugs and cookies!
And have the most wonderful birthday ever!
Your Beta,


That translates to thank you very much my son (beta = son in hindi, betee = daughter) HAHA. But you know what I mean :D

It's so lovely to see your review, though I'm horrendously late at responding to it.

Ahh, the anger towards Lily has been spewed all over the reviews page... I did want them to get together but my muse did feel it wasn't the right time :(

Ah Sirius, I do have a soft corner for him. There's something to be said about the quintessential bad boy :hearteyes:

Yes! Lily is at that stage where she doesn't hate James, and is beginning to get annoyed with the fact that his physique is distracting her. She still hasn't come to terms with the fact that he like's her. She's too proud to admit to it when she feels he doesn't like her anymore.

James here is my favorite rendition of him, my personal headcanon so I'm sooo glad that you like him :D

To be honest, I tried to refrain from entering the challenge, but this plunny kept nudging at me from everywhere and I had to do this... and I'm glad I did, it took me out of my comfort zone, and I enjoyed exploring this genre.

Thank you for the love, cuddles for the hug, and love the delicious cookies
Loads of love

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Review #18, by HufflePuff_Blitz Firewhiskey and Dragonbreath Shots

28th January 2016:
Ummm, hi. Here for our swap.
Don't mind me, just wiping some tears from my eyes. That ending was really sad. Was it supposed to be? if so marvelous job, my heart is breaking.

I don't usually read this era but I'm glad I read yours because i was thoroughly enjoyed by it. I loved your portrayal of Sirius, James, and Lily.

Also i loved how you mentioned Petunia and Vernon. At first I had a question, seeing as you said it was christmas time sixth year, and i was really confused of her age and her going to a bar. So great job answering that later in.

The only thing that really threw me off, was at the beginning, it seemed like it took the dialog a little bit to kick off but once it did it was absolutely amazing dialog. and as a disclaimer, like I said before I don't usually read these kinds of stories so it might of just been me. :)

I really enjoyed this!
Thanks for the swap

Author's Response: Hello Kyle!

Thank you so much for the swap, and I'm glad you enjoyed it despite not having read this era.

Yes the ending was supposed to be a little sad, because I see James and Lily as a couple who get together after so much already transpired between them.

Despite not reading this era, I'm really glad you enjoyed this story and thank you once again for your feedback!

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