Reading Reviews for Sink
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by mymischiefmanaged Sink

9th January 2016:
Hello! Here from review tag :)

This is a beautiful one-shot. You use a lot of really stunning imagery and I think Hermione's anxious desperation really comes across through your prose. You maintain the darkness throughout the story and I liked the way the 'obliviates' punctuate the different sections.

I did find this really confusing to read though - have read it twice and am still not really sure what's going on. I know you're trying to maintain the same jolting, tense writing style (and it's a style that definitely works!) but I think if you come back and edit this it would be worth adding some more explanation of the plot. I'm super sleepy so maybe I'm just missing something, but definitely found it hard to follow!

Your writing style is beautiful though and i'm really glad to have found and read this - looking forward to seeing more of your writing :)

Emma xx

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, Emma! I appreciate the feed back and ugh yes, I really wish I could fix the confusion out of this. Lol I may have it beta-read and really go deep into editing it with someone else.

- June

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Review #2, by Jayna Sink

4th January 2016:
Hey Velajune! First off, thank you so much for dropping me a review, and I will definitely be taking all your wonderful suggestions into consideration. Anyway, I figured I'd return the favor and leave you a review!

Okay, so this was really confusing and I did have to go back and re-read it a couple of times, but the prose was absolutely beautiful. I especially loved the repetition of obliviate and fourth year. You managed to make the mood both dark, angsty, and somber, but also fidgety, unstable, and beautiful. The way you went from the past to the present over and over contributed to the mood, but also to the confusion. Overall, while there were parts of this that were difficult to understand, your flow and writing style was perfect. In addition, this whole concept was quite unique and original. I hope to read more by you in the future!


Author's Response: Hi there,
Thank you for the review also.

Yeah, I was in such a rush to try to finish it before the deadline. I'd like to go back later on to add some clarity to the transitions because like you said, it does get confusing. I'm glad though that the feelings came across at least.

Again thank you for the review! I actually have your stories bookmarked to read since I enjoyed the other one.

~ June

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