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Reading Reviews for Cinnamon Bun Day
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ImaRavenclaw Cinnamon Bun Day

9th November 2016:
Hello there, Lily here with BvB!

Okay, first off... Cinnamon Bun Day? Who wouldn't want to read a story called Cinnamon Bun Day? I love it!

Your story is very descriptive, I can just smell what Bill is smelling, and can just imagine him getting out of bed with a spring in his step, due to the fact that he's excited for Cinnamon Bun Day.

Oh Fleur, I just love her. From the way Bill thinks about her I can tell he does too!

Hmmm, I still have no idea what Cinnamon Bun Day is, but before I read on I shall take a guess that Fleur and Bill have a picnic where they eat cinnamon buns on Cinnamon Day.

'dimpled her skin on her neck' maybe try, 'dimpled the skin on her neck'.

'onto the ground onto the cloak', maybe try adding an 'and' in the middle of onto the ground and onto the cloak.

Your kissing scenes are so wonderfully descriptive, they're amazing to read.

All in all, this was a wonderful little one-shot that I really enjoyed.

Yours sincerely,
ImaRavenclaw

Author's Response: Ohh, thanks especially for the suggestions, I tend to get repetitive and not notice it. I'm glad you enjoyed this and thanks for the review. It was for a scent challenge, so I'm glad that came through..

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Review #2, by oldershouldknowbetter Cinnamon Bun Day

15th January 2016:
Well this is a sexy little tale is it not.

Hi there here for a bit of BvB action.

There is not much to this tale on the surface - bill wakes, finds Fleur gone and tracks her down - but it is full of wonderful treats and treasures.

I really like how you have played with the Red Riding-hood theme. You have her on her way to Grandmother's with a basket of victuals, she is headed off by a lone wolf who knows a shortcut. It add so much more to the tale that we can view it through this prism. That 'Red Riding-hood' welcomes her pursuer and throws open herself for his embrace, is a delicious twist on the standard version.

The character of both your protagonists is well enacted - I couldn't see much difference between the Bill of the books and the one you have portrayed here. And with Fleur you struck exactly the correct balance between propriety and wantonness. From what we know of them both this scene is not unbelievable at all.

That you resisted a final line of 'what a big mouth you have,' and it's obvious rejoinder - shows a wonderful sense of forbearance.

There was only one thing that I would quibble about and that is the lack of sensory description in the first part of the story. How does he know it's cinnamon bun day - from the delicious smell wafting up from the kitchen presumably. He could be remembering it was, but that's not really the vibe I'm getting. Similarly when he comes down into the kitchen, he should be able to smell the breakfast before he gets there. Sure you do mention that he smells Fleur, but it would be amongst the delicious smells of breakfast. It is a small quibble, but it niggled me as I read it. There are smells all the way through it - the cologne, the cinnamon buns, Fleur, Breakfast - making more of the smells (especially in the beginning) would also emphasise his visceral lupine nature.

A tale to certainly get the heart racing, or warm at the very least.

Andrew
Oldershouldknowbetter.

Author's Response: Thank you for the nice review. I know for sure that I wrote this as an exercise for the senses and specifically for scent. I appreciate the CC, as that is exactly the issue I have with my writing is making the descriptions stand up to the plot and dialogue.

I'm glad you liked the fairy tale aspect of it. It's not something that I would usually write, but the role-playing seemed to fit these two, so it just came out that way.

Also glad you liked the characterizations and didn't think that I went too over the top with them.

Thanks again.


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Review #3, by Veritaserum27 Cinnamon Bun Day

8th January 2016:
Hello!

I'm here from the BvB review battle. When I saw you had a new story up, I decided to go right for it! :)

I think it fit really well that you wrote a Bill/Fleur rendezvous with a Little Red Riding Hood theme. I can definitely buy into that role playing for the couple. I think you struck a good balance between their passion and the true love between them. I particularly treasured the wolf-like characteristics you wove into Bill's character. I think so many authors forget that he would have heightened sense of smell - and that he would use that regularly. You did a fabulous job with that.

The way you used the cinnamon buns to tell the story was really sweet. It was a great literary device - because cinnamon can be associated with both sweet and spicy - in the same way that Bill and Fleur are with each other.

Overall - great job with the details. It really draws the reader in and makes them feel a part of the story.

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the kind review. I enjoyed writing this, as it was different for me to use the senses so much and a good exercise in writing.

Yeah, cinnamon buns are both sweet and a bit savory, just like Bill and Fleur's relationship. I also agree that Bill would have some wolf-like tendencies, as you saw here.

Thanks especially for noticing the details as that's what I was going for.


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Review #4, by Aphoride Cinnamon Bun Day

4th January 2016:
Hey there - dropping by for the BVB battle! :)

So I have a huge soft spot for Bill/Fleur - there's something so fairytale-like about them, you know, with the whole beauty-and-the-beast (after his encounter with Greyback, at least) aspect to them, which I just love, and so I really love how you played on that in this with the whole little-red-riding-hood theme. It's so cute, but so appropriate for them - and the whole scent theme tied into it was so good, too; I loved the little nod it gave to Bill's wolfishness after the Greyback incident :P

Your characterisation of both Bill and Fleur was so great - I loved how neither of them was shown as weak or timid or anything, but they were both strong and obviously capable, and how Bill was brave enough/unafraid enough of wolves to walk straight through the middle of the forest (it was such a great tie-in to the fairytale, too!), before finding her on the other side.

You say this was written a long time ago, but your writing in this is great - if it was, I can't wait to see how you've improved in the years since! - especially the way you use the senses, the touch and feel and the sense of smell, with the cinnamon and perfume. It's so lovely, because I think people often forget about other senses, you know, but you use them so well in this and it's so great!

This is a lovely little one-shot! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: If you think there's something fairy tale like about them, then this was definitely the story for you.

This was written about 7-8 years ago for a challenge at TGS, but I don't remember what it was, if it was fairy tale, scent, or color. I do know I wrote it as an exercise in using senses.

Thank you so much for the very nice review and I'm glad you enjoyed the theme and characterisations.


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Review #5, by The Basilisk Cinnamon Bun Day

22nd December 2015:
Hiss Hiss. Guess who? The Basilisk, with a review.

This made for a lovely little read. I enjoyed it. You did a nice play on Red-Riding-Hood here which I liked! Something different from how I've usually read Bill/Fleur. Bill's characterisation was brilliant. I loved how he had certain wolf instincts and Fleur took pleasure in them rather than be revolted. The whole "cinnamon bun" thing was too cute.

The descriptions were great, especially the bit where Bill is being enticed and kissing her etc. Could picture the scene clearly. If I wasn't an ancient heartless creature, this story would have made me melt and smile. Great little piece! Loved it! 10/10

Hiss Hiss
The Basilisk

Author's Response: Well, thank you The Basilisk. I appreciate the review. I had this sitting around for a very long time, originally for a challenge about 5 years ago, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I seem to remember that it was for a scent challenge, but I could be wrong. I know for sure that it was an exercise for me in description, so I'm glad you liked the descriptions. Thanks again for the nice reviews.


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