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28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan 1.5 -- Penny For Your Thoughts (To Yourself)

16th January 2017:
Two things: 1. Happy birthday!

2. I'm glad to discover a new chapter on this, it's been a while since I read some of it and it's such a great story. I love your characterization of Barty Jr and how he's the protagonist here... because I know at some point down the line I'll be very conflicted given who Barty becomes, and he will be simultaneously the protagonist and antagonist? Idk. But I love that you are writing a moral grey area character because those are the best kinds, and I love this insight into the Crouch family - they are all so well written!

I am really curious what Mr Crouch Sr was up to. Poor Barty (Jr), being so worried when he sees his father at the station. I mean, at least his father showed up? But the fact that it makes Barty Jr so nervous, and how Barty Sr's arrogance keeps embarrassing the rest of the family, it's sad that it's almost better if Crouch Sr didn't show up at all.

I love Penny! And I'm so excited that this is your first OC, I would never have guessed because you've done a wonderful job introducing him and giving us a sense of who he is, with his devotion to his daughters, and the cat that rides in the car with him (the cat's name is brilliant hahaha)

one hand in the pocket and another on a cigarette -- I swear this is a line from an Alanis Morissette song. :P If it weren't impossible timeline-wise, I would assume that Penny was listening to this song in his car before he got out and looked this cool. haha But anyway, yeah, your introduction of him is great and I really like him as a character!

Next up... Barty talks with his father, I assume? I hope to find out more soon! Wonderful job on this chapter, Karen!

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Review #2, by Felpata Lupin 1.3 -- A Son's Mother

3rd January 2017:
Hello, Karen! Happy holidays!
I've been away from this story for too long... I'm so very sorry...

Ah, this chapter! I so loved it!

Barty's mother's letter was just lovely, it put a huge smile on my face. (I'm pretending to ignore what will happen to them soon enough...) It's so clear that she loves him deeply and I loved the lighthearted tone she used, even if you can tell that things are hard for her. I wish Barty senior was a tiny bit more affectionate and attentive to his family's needs...

Your description of the garden... just stunning! Really, it sounds like such a peaceful and beautiful place, the way you write it. Did I mention you are incredibly talented?

Such a great chapter, I loved how you pictured the relationship between mother and son and I loved even more your beautiful writing!

Happy holidays again, and I'll try to stop by sooner next time!

Much love, dearest!
Chiara

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Review #3, by victoria_anne 1.5 -- Penny For Your Thoughts (To Yourself)

25th May 2016:
Yay here's Penny! I've been looking forward to reading him ever since I first heard about him! And I LOVE him! He seems very sweet and devoted to his girls. I love the fact he's a Squib but still works for the Crouch family. I'm interested in seeing where you take him! (Also that cat! And great name, by the way!)

I love seeing more of Barty's interactions here. He's been brought up in a respected pureblood household and you have definitely shown this through his manner and actions.

Ah, and here's the Crouch we know! He's extremely arrogant, but I think you've captured his character perfectly. The relationship between Barty and him is so tense. I enjoy it even more since I know how it eventually turns out!

Lovely work Karen, I'm so glad I finally read this story. Can't wait for more from you and Barty!

♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #4, by victoria_anne 1.4 -- 'Most Drunken House Elf'

25th May 2016:
So it's all Barty's fault that Winky drinks! Ha ha, that was a great scene to read though. He might be kind and respectful to Winky, but deep down he's a troublemaker. It's quite scary how well he can hide his true thoughts and feelings.

Crouch Sr certainly rules with an iron fist, but so far he seems like a typical father. I can understand Barty's resentment though, with his father always working. It must have been hard for a boy of fourteen.

His homecoming is almost upon us! I'm so excited to read on!



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Review #5, by victoria_anne 1.3 -- A Son's Mother

25th May 2016:
Hi Karen! ♥

We already know of Winky's devotion from the books, but it's nice to see that you've written her as part of the family. It's sweet! No wonder she was so upset when she was forced to leave service. His mother seems to be the constant in the family, keeping the peace between father and son. I really like how you've written her so far and can't wait to see more.

Mrs Crouch's garden sounds lovely ♥ I love that it is sectioned - if I had a garden it would probably be very similar!

Oh and what an ending!

*scurries to next chapter*

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Review #6, by alicia and anne 1.2 -- Festering Wounds

22nd May 2016:
Hello gorgeous! :D I'm so excited to read more Barty!

I love how he says that a Slytherin should never be in debt. That they should just make connections. I feel like this should be a life lesson to be honest. :P

I agree with Barty there, that there should be trials to figure out if they were actually death eaters or not instead of just sending them straight to Azkaban. (Poor Sirius)

Oh Barty! It all seems so hard for him :( Poor guy

Gah!! I need to read more of this wonderful story! I love it so much, and I love the way that you write Barty.

Keep up the amazing work, hun!

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Review #7, by PaulaTheProkaryote 1.5 -- Penny For Your Thoughts (To Yourself)

22nd May 2016:
Hello!

SO.WHERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER AT?

First of all, I think I agree with Barty on his love of London. How could you not love somewhere so full of history and life! It seems like all of his fond memories are with his mother which makes me so sad. I want something pleasant about his old man! There must be one fond memory somewhere!

I think the detail about the Ministry sending a car because it ties in nicely with the Ministry doing as much for the Weasley family!

I think it's honestly so sad that he reacted that way just to his father showing up at the station. No kid should have to be so suspicious of his father's intentions over something so small. It really seems to say something about their relationship, I think.

A handshake? Really? A HANDSHAKE! I really love that Barty pulled his old man into a one armed hug because HE'S TRYING! He's putting forth the effort!

I'm all about Mr. Pendleton Greyjoy. He's going to be an interesting character for sure. My mental image of him is like a cool early century gangster. I also, for whatever reason, can only picture him in black and white. I have no explanation for it! Can I just say that Mr. Knickers is such a great cat name too!

Honestly, Barty has such a good spirit that his father is constantly trying to repress. It kills me to know that he was naturally not so evil. Villains aren't born, they're made. I can't wait for the next chapter!

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Review #8, by PaulaTheProkaryote 1.4 -- 'Most Drunken House Elf'

22nd May 2016:
Hi again!

This was the chapter I left off on so all of this will be completely new to me! Can I just say how excited I am because of the title?

To be fair, angsty little Barty, you totally deserved that chewing out and all of the punishments involved! This could easily be the start of Winky's drinking problem! Not to mention she could have been seriously ill or even dead! He really didn't think the whole prank through at all! I think his mother went easy on him. I fully stand by Barty Sr.'s punishment! Winky is part of the family and should be treated as such! I'm glad that as an adult he felt bad about the whole thing and gave a sincere apology!

I love the part of Barty that doesn't like the fact that Winky, as a member of the family, had to obey orders. I like even more that he doesn't abuse it, but he also realizes that she would be beyond offended if anything interfered with her place. It was like her own family tradition since they'd been together for three generations. She'd be disappointing her own family.

“Guess that means we’ll be waiting for awhile then won’t we?” I loved this line the most. What a biting line! It's true which makes it that much worse! I feel like a lot of this angst and pain that he went through could have been avoided if his dad wasn't such a work-a-holic. If he stayed home and spent more time and attention on his family, less pressure on his baby boy, things would have been so different.

I can't imagine how terrifying it must be to come to King's Cross for the last time, knowing you're about to join the real world. No thank you. No adulting please!

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Review #9, by PaulaTheProkaryote 1.3 -- A Son's Mother

22nd May 2016:
Hello! It's me! :)

So to begin with, there's my favorite Momma's boy! His mother really is the best kind of mother. She's the glue holding the whole family together. She seems to really try to keep the relationship between Barty Sr. and Barty Jr. together and I feel like she knows that there is some tension there. Hence the whole she found it funny just between them!

The letter alone really demonstrates the family dynamics. I have a tendency to skip letters (and dreams for some reason), but I couldn't skip through this one!

I love the garden bit because it's very realistic to the character. She's not just going to write the important stuff, she's bound to add in all the details and monotony! And him looking forward to seeing the garden, to me, demonstrates that her pride in him is returned. She uplifts him but he also uplifts her and is proud of her small, every day achievements. Beyond all of that, I'd really like to be in the garden you described. Come plant my yard for me?

She really wants to justify her husband's ineptitude toward his family. I don't think Barty is necessarily meaning to neglect his family or make Barty Jr feel this way. I think he honestly is just oblivious. I also love the way Winky seems to be such an important part of the family. I can understand her temper tantrum after being let go now because she really was treated like she was family, not just a servant! I love the fact that Winky was included in the signature.

I died laughing at ‘Most Drunken House-Elf.’ Winky is well, you know, Winky!

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Review #10, by PaulaTheProkaryote 1.2 -- Festering Wounds

22nd May 2016:
Hello again!

The thing that I feel the most when reading this story is how much Barty Jr feels like he's stuck in his father's shadow. This is something I always thought Harry's kids would have to suffer through too one day.

Really, considering his father's edict giving the Aurors permission to kill first, ask question later, it's easy to see the blurred lines between Aurors and Death Eaters. They are two birds of a feather. I think this ties in well to current events in America with the whole war time anything goes attitude. You have to distinguish your own actions from those of the enemy.

I think the fact that Barty Jr talks about two wrongs not making a right and that enough lives had been taken, enough blood spilled really shows how intelligent he is, how open minded he could be. Which for the Ministry is a dangerous thing I'm sure.

I think that he really does care for his mother so much. It's hard to see someone that we know from the books to be "evil" being so human. It really takes the monster right out of him.

You really have a knack for making me sympathetic against my will! As I've said, I've read ahead through the next chapter, but I really like you've done such a brilliant job with Barty Jr's characterization. You've given him so much depth and dimension and I really find myself hating Barty Sr. Excellent chapter!

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Review #11, by victoria_anne 1.2 -- Festering Wounds

21st May 2016:
Karen! I'm back ♥

I'm very excited to see more on the relationship between Barty and his father, because it's a very interesting dynamic. They're really quite similar but still so different.

Ooh and what's in the letter? I can't wait to see more on his mother too, since we know she must have loved him greatly to help him escape from Azkaban.

Great work once more Karen, I'll be back shortly! ♥

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Review #12, by victoria_anne 1.1 -- Unspeakable Dreams

21st May 2016:
*sprints in and tackles Karen with a badger hug*

KAREN ♥

Look I'm finally here! And I am SO happy and excited to be reading about Barty Jr! I think this is actually the first fic I've read about him so DOUBLE YAY!

Already you've painted such a great picture of Barty. He's ambitious and cunning (can you say Slytherin?!) and I had never really though of how having Crouch as a father might have affected him at school.

Ooh I am so sucked into this story. Unspeakables are so fascinating - just what do they dooo? I can't wait to see what happens with Rookwood, and though you haven't mentioned Voldemort yet, I'm excited for when that part of Barty's story comes in :D

Great start Karen, I know this is your baby so I love it all the more already. I'll be back soon!

♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #13, by Unicorn_Charm 1.1 -- Unspeakable Dreams

15th May 2016:
Karen! I'm here with your review!

I have to admit, I don't read much Barty Crouch Jr. stories. I'm not the hugest fan of him. But this was SO interesting! I'm putting this on my reading list, because I'm so intrigued and definitely want to see what happens. The whole Unspeakables thing is such a cool idea! That's a branch of the ministry that I wish was tackled more here and I'm thrilled that you're doing it. I can't wait to see what you have in store!

Barty doesn't seem *too* bad yet. We know he becomes a bad dude, but he seems pretty normal right now. Which is another reason I'm so interested in this story. I'm dying to see how you develope him from this recent grad, who seems nervous yet hopeful about the future, to a person who participated in the torturing of the Longbottoms. There were slight hints at that side of him here. Like when he thought of how he would use blackmail on his classmates. Not the same as torture, but you can see how he can be a bit cold.

You can definitely feel his resentment towards his father. He thought a few times of how he hates being associated with him. And how he hates how people assume he'll have an easy go of it just because of who his father is. I can understand that though. Of course he'd want to be his own person. It can't be that easy to have such an influential and important father, AND be named after him.

This was a really great opening chapter! I will absolutely be back to continue with this. I really can't wait to see where you take this story! Awesome job, thanks so much for sharing!!

xoxo Meg

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Review #14, by PaulaTheProkaryote 1.1 -- Unspeakable Dreams

26th April 2016:
Hello wonderful person! Self appointed support system here!

There's obviously an awful lot of elements that I absolutely love in this chapter. The first and most important thing I appreciate is your ability to take a character that is overall hated in the fandom community and make them seem so normal and human. There's nothing particularly wrong or sinister with him, he's just a normalish boy trying to make a name for himself.

First off, I forgot how well connected he was. Between his father and Slughorn, really he's set for life! I think you portrayed him exceptionally well. He is very manipulative and ambitious, a classic Slytherin! Not to mention how much he revels in embarrassing those that cross him.

I'm not sure that it's so much contempt for his father as much as being in his father's shadow that he hates. I can see how all of this can add up to him being a bit misguided. Not to mention his now obviously connection to Rookwood. With someone so influential in your life, it'd be easy to be swayed into the "dark side."

Augustus in Ravenclaw? I love it. Everyone has this whole only Slytherins can turn bad mentality, but I love the fact that you've challenged that idea.

"An actual, bonafide adulthood that included a war with no end in the foreseeable future." Everyone, I think, felt the weight of the war on their shoulders during this time, no matter where the allegiance ultimately lie.

You write so eloquently that it's ridiculous. I feel the frustration that Barty Jr. was suffering through. He just wanted carve out a name for himself. Quite literally. Beyond just living in his shadow, he didn't even get a name of his own. I can understand why he'd be so bitter.

Overall, you have a marvelous writing style and you have mastered the art of writing complex characters! I hope you keep writing for the rest of eternity. I mean it.

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Review #15, by marauderfan 1.4 -- 'Most Drunken House Elf'

6th March 2016:
Hi Karen! I'm glad you pointed me in the direction of this new chapter, it was great to catch up on this fic as I'd really loved what I read of it before.

Aw, poor Winky! It really was a terrible prank. I can see this being the sort of thing that a fourteen year old boy might find funny until he really thinks about it. And then again, Barty really didn't know it would hurt her so much. I think if he'd known how badly house elves react to alcohol, he probably wouldn't have done it, but spiking anyone's drink is pretty horrible. :(

Given how close he is to his mother, I think the fact that she was so firm with him and using his full name and clearly unimpressed and not taking any of his sassy remarks, shows just how serious she is about this and Barty realizes he can't get away with everything. And the way she carries Winky out of the room, aw, it's clear she does really care about Winky. I also loved the way Barty tried to atone for his joke on Winky, and apologized to her and tries to help her out and stuff. Through that you've really shown how much the two of them see Winky as part of the family.

His father, on the other hand, doesn't really seem as much concerned for Winky's well-being as he is concerned for the fact that Barty should be studying instead of playing practical jokes.

This was a great chapter, once again! Excellent writing my friend :)

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Review #16, by Felpata Lupin 1.2 -- Festering Wounds

29th February 2016:
Hi Karen!
Finally finding the time to get back again to this beautiful story! (I'm in debit with you of quite a few reviews, since I left you only one for your Hot Seat and also skipped your birthday... sorry... Btw, happy (very) belated birthday, my dear! Hope you had a great day!)

So, onto the chapter! :)

I really liked what you've done so far! Barty's thoughts about his father were... interesting. That's for sure. It still makes me sad that their relationship is so disfunctional... everyone deserves affection and support from their parents... wish Barty Sr wasn't so selfish...

I also have to agree with Barty Jr that his father's decisions about how to deal with the Death Eaters' crisis were (to say the least) questionable. We know the consequencies too well... (thinking of Sirius right now...)

I like that Barty didn't have a defined position on the war at that point in his life. And that he despised the loss of innocent lives from both sides. It's such a unique take on his character... I wonder how he got from there to the ruthless Death Eater we know... I'm not sure I want to find out...

Leaving you now, but I'll try to be back soon! :D

Just one last thing I wanted to say before going is that you made me learn a new word: eidetic. So now we're even on that front! :P

Love you, my darling!
Chiara

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Review #17, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 1.4 -- 'Most Drunken House Elf'

19th January 2016:
NOPE I'M STILL NOT DONE!

I swore to myself I was going to finish all the chapters you'd posted of this the other day, and then got sidetracked, but I'm here now! I saw your comment on my profile on the forums and I'm so happy to know that my reviews have made you so happy! I hope this one only adds to that!

I was glad my question about the most drunk house elf was answered pretty much immediately, and I just love how each of these chapters picks up almost exactly where the last one left off, I think it makes the reading that much more easy and interesting!

I could really start to see some of the reasons why Barty can't stand his father in this. The way he treats House Elves, and then his attitude over Barty's prank.. I mean yes, Barty shouldn't have done that... but I really just got a cold chill when his father called him into the room, so you did an excellent job with his characterization and with conveying the emotions there!

I really liked seeing how Barty tried to make up to Winky for what he had done, and how he and his mother adore Winky and consider her to be a party of the family. It makes her much more like a person and I adore that!

I'm really, really excited for Barty to get home, but I'm also paranoid and worried that his father will have done/will do something to ruin his homecoming.. I hope I'm wrong! :(

Anyway, this was another fabulous chapter, dear! And I can't wait to read more! And I'm also super-thrilled that I got to be the first review for this chapter!!

And again, Happy Birthday and Happy Hotseat lovely!

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Review #18, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 1.3 -- A Son's Mother

15th January 2016:
Oh my Goodness, the thing that stands out to me most in this chapter is your DESCRIPTION! It's incredible! That garden sounds SO beautiful, I could easily picture myself there, I could almost hear the fountain - how do you do this magic?!?

I really liked the description of Barty Jr's relationship with his mother, they seem very close and I think that makes sense. I'm feeling very excited for him to get home now as well!

And now I'm also very curious about what the Drunken house elf thing is referring to... lol. I can't wait to find out! :D

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Review #19, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 1.2 -- Festering Wounds

15th January 2016:
Did you think that I was finished? NOPE! :P I'm back for more, and this time its ON YOUR BIRTHDAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVELY! ♥

I know I said it before, but I just really LOVE your characterization of Barty Jr. in this! He's portrayed as just flat out evil in the series, but unless they're Voldemort, I really don't think anyone is ALL bad, and I like seeing this side of him that doesn't want people to die, that doesn't approve of his father's methods - it's really refreshing!

Also, this is really making me start to hate Barty Sr. XD

And I'm really curious about what his Mother's letter said, and what he's looking forward to when he gets home!

Another fabulous chapter, and I can't wait to read the next! Well done!

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Review #20, by marauderfan 1.3 -- A Son's Mother

12th January 2016:
Another great chapter! I like that you wemt into the relationship between Barty and his mother, because that's hinted at in the books, but it's like one or two lines about how she traded places with him in azkaban, and here you've turned that into an entire chapter which gives so much backstory and really shows how close they were. i think it makes a lot of sense too, given that Crouch Sr probably spent most of his life at work, and as Barty jr is an only child and his mother a worrier, it makes a lot of sense that they would be close and she obviously dotes on him a lot.

i also love that you mentioned how important Winky is and even that Mrs Crouch signed the letter from her too - often I think house elves are shown as mistreated by pureblods or by the 'bad guys' but i like that you showed the complexity of good or bad here, as obviously Mr Crouch who's suposed to be on the 'good' side is careless about his house elf whereas Barty cares a lot.

my flight is about to board so i guess thats it for now! anyway, i have really enjoyed readingthis! great work!

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Review #21, by marauderfan 1.2 -- Festering Wounds

12th January 2016:
I really like how you talked about Crouch Sr's practice of throwing people into Azkaban without a trial, and how his son thinks of it. Here in this chapter we have two characters who definitely fall right in he middle of that moral grey area - maybe Barty Jr not quite there yet as he doesn't seem to be on one side or the other yet - but I think it is important to note that Barty Sr was on the 'good' side and a lot of people thouht he was doing good things, but the question of whether the ends justify the means is really prominent in this chapter and I'm glad you went down that road.

i think its also really telling that Barty disapproves of his father's methods. I can really agree with him on that and I like that you're portraying Barty Jr as pretty relatable so far because when he makes his turn to Voldemort its going to make me all confused about whether or not I should still like him, and I like that. :p

Great work, this is an excellent story so far!

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Review #22, by marauderfan 1.1 -- Unspeakable Dreams

12th January 2016:
Hey Karen! Happy Hot Seat! I'm just going to apologise in advance for any typos in this as I'm doing this on my phone in the airport, but I wanted to make sure I left you a couple of reviews before I disappear from the internet for a while.

So, I really like this a lot so far. I love that you're writing about Barty Crouch Jr, who is by no means a likeable character, and in the beginning of this he just seems... normal. He is very understandable, as it really makes sense that someone with a famous father would want to be different from him, and get tired of being associated with him. He has a lot to live up to and he knows it, so he wants to carve his own path. Thus far he is kimd of... dare i say it. Likeable.

I am excited to see where you go with this and how you delve into his descent into the Death Eaters. I can see how the ambitious kid in this chapter can later become the Barty Jr we know from the books, but he's not there yet and I think the story of how he becomes that person will be reallly interesting. I cant wait to read more of this, youre doing a really wonderful job so far.

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Review #23, by Felpata Lupin 1.1 -- Unspeakable Dreams

12th January 2016:
Hi, Karen!
Here for your Hot Seat!
I was very unsure about what to pick. In the end I chose to point at the top and apparently happened on your master piece. I'm at the same time thrilled and nervous about it...

I really enjoyed the chapter! I can see the care you put in it! Everything is just perfect, from the grammar, to the flow, to the characterization, to the amount of details. Not too much, not too little.

Your introduction of Barty JR is great. He is so full of hope for the future, so "innocent", so enthusiastic. It makes even more sad knowing what's to come...

And I must say, your description of Rookwood surprised me. I can't really imagine him as such a kind, easygoing and available person. But I suppose I'm a bit biased towards Death Eaters... After all we don't know much about most of them. We certainly don't know about their lives, stories and motives.

I think if I were a witch, I would've loved the idea of working as an Unspeakable! It sounds so fascinating, researching all the misteries of nature, time, space, life, death... (yes, I'm a bit of a Ravenclaw)

I suppose Barty's reasons for choosing that carrier are slightly different. It sounds like he wants to take his distance from his father more than anything else. I'm sure that's something that every child of some renowned parent would feel.

I love this so far! I'll be back!
Tons of love,
Chiara

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Review #24, by Freda_and_Georgina 1.2 -- Festering Wounds

11th January 2016:
Hello! Georgina here with your hot seat review! I am reviewing this chapter because last I checked it did not have near as many reviews as the first chapter, so I figured you might eant some feedback on this chapter.

So, this is one of those chapters where you read it and nod. You understand what's happening and are ready to see what happens next. Unfortunately, those chapters are some of the hardest to review. Or I'm just a really bad reviewer, maybe a mix of both. But, I will still try to leave a good review because this story deserves a good review.

I like how you portray Crouch Jr. as a neutral party in the beginning, not Voldemort's best supporter even when he was Hogwarts age. Since he knew about Voldmort's father when not even Bellatrix knew Voldemort's half-blood status implies Voldemort talked Crouch Jr. into it rather than Crouch Jr. was all for it; though the way Crouch Jr. resents his father and his father's strive to end the Wizarding War makes Voldemort's pathway to earning his most faithful supporter a little clearer. I also like how you have Crouch Jr. loving his mother, a woman who would go to Azkaban for her son must have a son who reflects at least a fraction of the love back on her. (Did that sentence make sense?) I really hope you show some sympathetic side of Crouch Sr. because, although it may be a challenge, he has to have some love in him to be human. Unless you portray him as a sociopath...

I'm interested on how you're going to show Crouch Jr.'s pathway to Dark magic because what we see of him in the fourth book is not a good person. I would really like to watch you lead Crouch Jr. from teen who loves his mother and hates his father to murderous wizard willing to torture a young couple.

Good work here. Best of luck as you continue on!
--Georgina

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Review #25, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 1.1 -- Unspeakable Dreams

11th January 2016:
HAPPY HOT SEAT, KAREN!!

It's about time I got here to read this, and I'm so excited to see this on your author's page and dive right in!

This is an excellent start! You've already shown us SO much about Barty's personality, particularly how desperate he is to NOT be his father, or even associated with him. And you've given him real dreams and desires, and honestly, that's made him quite like-able! When I was reading this, despite what we see of him in the series, I was able to imagine him riding on the train, smiling, excited for his future, and it's nice to see him as something other than a crazed Death Eater for once.

This really has given me a lot of questions, and I'm definitely wondering how this is all going to turn out, I can't wait to see where things go from here! I really hope he's able to become an Unspeakable!

You also did a great job with Slughorn's characterization, and your description was amazing - I particularly liked the part about him rubbing the sugar from his candies off in his pocket! :D

Anyway, fantastic first chapter, lovely, and I can't wait to read the next!

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