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17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by WittyRaven ég tala ekki íslensku

28th January 2016:
I really liked how you started the story and then did an introduction. It gives it a nice spin.
You wrote the chemistry between James and Alia really well. It makes it quite interesting.

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Review #2, by Giù9 Two Pairs of Footprints

1st January 2016:
This story was really lovely to read. I'm kind of sad next chapter will be the last, but I'm looking forward to it. Honestly, great job Xo

Author's Response: Oh my god this is so sweet babe!! Thank you! I hope you like the next one and TBH I'm super sad too! I love writing all the characters- especially James and I'm glad you like it! Thank you again for the review it honestly really made my day!!!

-Curie :)


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Review #3, by scintillated ég tala ekki íslensku

23rd December 2015:
hi hi hi! this story seems really interesting so far, and i'm so sorry about the delay in our swap!

Next-Gen is my love (even though looking at what I write, you'd never tell :P ) and I think this story was already on my list? So I was super excited to go and read this, and it was certainly not disappointing in the slightest!!

So i've never really seen James as a reporter before, but to be honest, the way that you've portrayed it makes it seem so natural for him to be one, and I really commend you for that. James is characterized so well, and even though we know little to nothing about him, I really enjoy reading him in this perspective, with his 'wit' and flirtatiousness!

Another thing I really liked was your perspective switching. It got slightly confusing and a bit choppy the first time, but I realized quick enough, and it's great to see into both characters. I don't see that executed as nice as you do often enough, and I think that it was really very good! Relating to that, Alia also seems really interesting, and I can't wait to find out more about her, because the way you've described her makes it feel as if there is so much more to be told about her.

Your descriptions of Iceland are simply amazing! It was so easy to paint a picture of it in my head, and I really do think it's great that it's set somewhere else- it really makes your story stand out.

This chapter was so nice, overall. I just have one quick question- if for Alia, you're writing in first person, does that mean that for James, you're writing in third person limited, or omniscient? I was just wondering, because if you're switching perspective between the two, it seems like it'd be limited. You mention Alia's name, though, which he wouldn't know, in limited. That was just a point I wondered about, but I really enjoyed this chapter!

-rikki ☼

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Review #4, by TearsIMustConceal ég tala ekki íslensku

21st December 2015:
Hey Curie, here for our review swap!

So I was pretty excited you had a new story so I couldn’t wait to get stuck in! I love how it’s set in Iceland – it’s a refreshing change from London or anywhere else common – I like that we’ll get to learn about the culture while we’re reading. Your descriptions are wonderful and it’s so easy to imagine Iceland, which I don’t know much about, so vividly – you paint an amazing picture here!

I like James here – he’s easy going, friendly, charming and a bit cheeky – everything you want in James Potter II. I also love his relationship with Lily; it’s not often we see that explored, it’s usually more of a bond between James and Albus, but it’s adorable and I love how easy it is – the scene really flows between them and I think it’s cute how he owls her instead of Harry or Ginny and has a P.SS for Albus, who’s nicked his coat – you’ve really got the sibling relationship down! I can’t wait to read more!

Alia seems interesting – I like how you’ve not given a lot away, she’s mysterious, to both us and James and it really works. I want James to find out more so we can too, like why she’s there, where she’s from etc. I can’t wait to read more so I can find out about her!

Your descriptions are beautiful and your writing is amazing! The POV change at the beginning disrupts the flow slightly but other than that, the chapter is perfect!

One thing though, when you have James ask for an owl, how does he know she’s a witch? I don’t remember reading anywhere that would suggest to James, or to us in fact, that she is a witch so I was wondering whether there is something that tells him that she is? Or that maybe you’ve not clarified it? If there is a big clue in the chapter, feel free to ignore this part!

Overall, I loved this and I’ll definitely be reading on! We should definitely swap again soon Curie!

-Vicki

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Review #5, by TreacleTart Sunshine's Overrated Anyway

21st December 2015:
Hey there!

I'm here for our review swap!

*sings* Feelings of romance are in the air...

So I feel like Alia and James are meant to fall in love. Even though their conversation is just the basic getting to know you stuff, I feel like there's an undercurrent of flirtiness that makes me think they're interested in each other in more than a friends sort of way.

The dialogue seemed pretty natural in this chapter, which is always a nice thing. I didn't see anything that felt particularly jarring or unusual. I liked that they sort of revisited the Hogwarts school years and have a little more in common than we initially think in the first chapter.

I also thought that this continued to flow pretty well. I didn't notice any major issues in flow or pace. There were a few typos, mainly punctuation issues, here and there, but overall it's easily readable.

My only bit of cc comes on the description of her anxiety attacks/discussion of anxiety. I don't know if you have anxiety or not, but I do. There was something to me in your description of it all that seemed sort of hollow and at the same time a little overly dramatic. I think it's because you have her passing out, waking up, throwing up, then having a panic attack. I think that a panic attack on its own is terrifying enough without adding all of the other stuff.

All in all, this was a nice continuation of what you wrote about in the first chapter. Good work so far!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hello Kaitlin!! :D

Hahahaha, you know me too well. I'm a fluff nut I swear, I don't do anything without romance in it :P Just saying...

Thank you! Honestly, I really don't like this chapter, I couldn't make it flow to an extent where i was happy with it? And thank you for the CC on the anxiety scene, I totally understand and have changed it so it's not as hollow (hopefully). Thank you so much for that :)

Thank you for the swap!!

-Curie


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Review #6, by cherry_pop94 Celestial Circus Tents

20th December 2015:
Hello Curie!

Sorry it took me so long to get to this, I've just been kinda swamped with work today.

Anyway, on to the review!

This was a really cute chapter. The flirtation between Alia and James is so intense here! Especially at the beginning. Dare I say, almost steamy.

I'm so sad that they've got to go their separate ways now! But James does have to work, I suppose. Hopefully they meet again, but I'm sure they will.

The three different POVs worked well here. I found especially at the beginning. It let us see the scene through essentially three different sets of eyes, all telling the same scene, but chronologically. I thought that was a really fun thing to do.

Anyway, thanks for the enjoyable swap!

Stefanie

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Review #7, by blackzero Celestial Circus Tents

20th December 2015:
Wonderful narrative. The narrative is superbly realistic

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Review #8, by Dirigible_Plums ég tala ekki íslensku

15th December 2015:
Hello!

I'm here with your requested review a day earlier than I anticipated. My assessment was cancelled so I have some free time on my hands and thought it was high time that I headed over here.

Oh, so the story's set abroad, is it? I like that, mostly because I feel like it'll expand my own knowledge of foreign culture! I have to admit that I haven't ever been to Iceland, though it sounds like a gorgeous place, and look forward to seeing how you infuse the fic with some of its culture. I loved seeing bits of it already. Like when Alia says, 'That was the beauty of Icelandic, however confusing the language was to learn, it seemed to describe every situation imaginable.' Call me a stereotypical 'Claw, but learning little things like that from the fic really makes me appeal to it all the more :)

Another aspect of your fic that I like is the relationship that James has with his brother and sister. You can see that he's very close to Lily, if the way that she teases him and how he writes to her when he arrives indicates anything. And when he writes 'PPS- tell Albus to send my coat that he borrowed by owl ASAP or threaten him with death." As someone with siblings of my own, I totally understand what he means here haha.

So in your areas of concern, you mentioned: dialogue, flow of the whole fic and characterisation. Well, it's only early days yet, but your characterisation of James seems fairly consistent: he's an easy going bloke with charm and ambition. He seems like a regular nice guy, just like how Alia seems like a lovely girl. The dialogue seems fine to me as well. The only 'major' thing that I picked up on was that you tend to use "..." a lot. Usually, I reserve them for moments that really need it as they give a bit of an extra kick with the pause. I feel like it unnecessarily drags down the chapter in the way someone reads it?

I think my main piece of concrit is the tenses. Lots of people switch POV within chapters or for each chapter which is completely fine. However, I do think that switching what person it's written in takes something away from your writing. It feels rather awkward to read when you switch from third person to first person. Maybe consider writing with an omniscient third person narrator or in first person with a little note indicating the switch in POV?

I hope this review helps!

Plums xo

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Review #9, by Infinityx ég tala ekki íslensku

10th December 2015:
Reebs! I'm here for our swap. :)

A new storyy. I've missed reading your stuff! And this first chapter was so great! The POV change between the first and second sections was unexpected but I love how you brought in that first person. The flow is a bit choppy due to the sudden change but other than that i love it!

Hahaha James working for the gossip column BEST. That made my day. xD

Your descriptions are so amazing. And you've improved SO MUCH. Are you sure you haven't been writing in secret? I absolutely love the descriptions, they're so vivid and easy to visualise. Great job there!

I love how you've brought in the interaction between James and Alia, and the dialogue reveals so much about their personalities as well. I also looove alia's name it's so pretty. :D

Loved this first chapter, Reebs! I've missed your writing and I'm so glad you're back to it. :)

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Review #10, by Gabriella Hunter ég tala ekki íslensku

9th December 2015:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review for our swap! I don't think we know one another so it's a pleasure to meet you! :) I'm always lurking around the forums so you may have seen me around.

I'm really intrigued by this story! It's got a really unique feel to it. I firstly never see stories that feature James as being a reporter even though I think it's an AMAZING idea. he would be brilliant at it, I don't know why I've never seen that before but I really love what you're doing with his character. He seems charming, funny and pretty nice. I'd like to know more about him as the story progresses but I'm not picky.

His relationship with Lily was great too, we didn't get to know more about their family life or anything like that but you've set this up nicely, there's a lot of information we can gather later. I'm really, really going to have to hug you though for adding some diversity in this!

Alia Sato is Japanese? I could be wrong of course but I am so thrilled to be seeing some diversity on the archives. I try my best to include as much as i can so it's nice to see other authors branching out too and when it comes to her, I'm super curious. Why is she out in Iceland? (Great setting, by the way. I've never seen a story based here) I'd love to know more about her, she and James already have a great banter going on. I feel like she might have her own secrets though but I'll wait and see about that. :)

The only CC that I can offer is just to look through and snag a few words that you repeated. "His eyebrows eyebrows" was one that I spotted but other than that, you're off to a nice start!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #11, by cherry_pop94 Sunshine's Overrated Anyway

9th December 2015:
Hello again Curie! I'm back!

Alia is right, James is the enemy for not liking chocolate.

But anyway... this was a fun chapter. I really enjoyed getting to know Alia and James better. I like how they were at school at the same time, but never knew each other. I think it could have been an easy trope to fall into that they remember each other at school and had a crush on each other then or something. But I like that this is really a brand new relationship for them as adults.

I'm glad you talked about Alia's anxiety and how she had to get away to deal with it. I think that's something a lot of people can relate too. I've been struggling with anxiety over the last little while, so it's always great to see it in writing too.

I'm excited to see where this story goes in the next few chapters! Thanks for sharing this sweet glimpse into James and Alia's lives!

Stefanie

By the way, I really love how you've described Iceland - it just sounds so beautiful! And the letters from Lily are a really great touch.

Author's Response: thank you Stefanie!! Thanks so much!! Yeah, I wanted them to have a fresh start and of course its a short story and for a quick relationship to actually go somewhere, I wanted them to be adults :P

Yeah, anxiety is a huge deal for me too, and I thought that a lot of my writing had extremely confident characters so i wanted to try something a little different i guess :P i'm glad you liked it!! :D if you ever need to talk about that just shoot me a PM k?

Omg really, all my knowledge of Iceland is like from tv shows and google images :P I'm glad it worked tho!

thanks for the review swap!!

-Curie!


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Review #12, by cherry_pop94 ég tala ekki íslensku

9th December 2015:
Hello Curie!

This is such an interesting story! I love reading travel stories, it's just so cool to read about these characters that we know in other cultures and to explore the wizarding world outside of England!

Iceland seems like a pretty dreary place the way you've described it. But somehow still really cozy and nice. Maybe it's because I love winter.

I thought this chapter was really well done. You've introduced who I assume will be our main characters - Alia and James - and thrown them into quite a fun situation. I'm sensing a romance blossoming and so now I'm wondering how you'll get James to stay in Iceland with Alia long enough for romance to blossom!

And is that Liu Wen as Alia's face claim? She's gorgeous! It's also an interesting choice to have an Asian woman play this Icelandic character. I've personally never been, but I can't imagine there being too many Asian people in Iceland. I love it though, it's nice having characters who look like I do in stories, you know what I mean?

One thing I thought though was that the transition from James' part in third person to Alia's part in first person was a little choppy. It confused be a little to change that narration to soon into the story. I would have liked to read more of James' part before transitioning into Alia's. I think the switch from third person to first person can work, but it's a little choppy here. I am curious to know about that choice though, it's not common to have that kind of POV switch!

Thanks for a really enjoyable swap Curie!

Stefanie

Author's Response: Hey Stefanie!

OMG SAME!! Travel stories are amazing to read but so hard to write so I kind of wanted to try and get over my fear!

Hahaha I don't really like winter but I love the rain and it was raining pretty heavily when I wrote both chapter one and two so it sort of got me in a nice mood :P

Hahahaha yay! I hope you come back to find out ;) And yes that is Liu Wen mainly because I love staring at her face and to make the banner i had to go through so many editorials in which I stared at her face a lot. I haven't been to iceland either! I just wanted a little more representation in fanfic so I wrote her as Asian but she's born and brought up in London :)

Ooh, yeah I've gotten that comment actually, I need to go and change that! :D

Thank you again!

-Curie xx


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Review #13, by marauderfan Sunshine's Overrated Anyway

8th December 2015:
Hey Curie, I'm here for our swap! I decided to read on after the first chapter and review this one instead since it had no reviews yet.

First can I say, I LOVE the idea of James II as a writer, and I've written him as a novelist in one of my own fics but I hadn't seen it anywhere else, so I just wanted to say that I appreciated that - but even more, I love that you wrote him as a journalist! Of COURSE he's a journalist and of COURSE doing the gossip section, I'm just getting flashbacks of 13 year old James in the DH epilogue being like "hey everyone, Teddy and Victoire omg." It was like a huge hint at his future! Ahaha, I love it.

Goodness though, yeah I can see why Harry would be disappointed with his son's choice of careers, given Harry's history with the Prophet and its star gossiper Rita Skeeter.

Okay. Real talk: I LOVE your descriptions of Iceland in here, gaaahh. Not only do you have these amazing visual descriptions of the rain and the colourful houses, but it's enhanced by the actual Icelandic language in there as well and the way the rainy and grey atmosphere feels in this small, forgotten town, and there's not really words for that, but the feel of your setting is one of the most important parts of writing and you totally nailed it. I love it. Also I really want to go to Iceland.

I'm really enjoying your characterization so far. James, while a flirt, is also genuine and friendly, and really sweet in the way he's so close to his siblings. and I LOVE Alia, and honestly I can relate to her about soo much, mainly the history of travelling and working in new places (and the horrible fringe as a teenager!) She is a wonderful character to read about and I'm really curious what you'll do with her as the story progresses.

One odd thing I noticed (in the first chapter actually) is in a section from James' POV, before Alia has actually told James her name, the narrative refers to her as Alia which I found surprising because we hadn't learnt it yet. But that's really a small thing and didn't take away from what is proving to be a great story. I absolutely love your setting and the way you brought it to life. A great way to mark your return to HPFF after so long ♥

Author's Response: Thanks so much Kristin!! :D Thats so sweet of you!!!

OH MY GOD YES. YAY. YOU HAVE TOO?? THEN I MUST GO BACK AND READ THAT YES??I could see him as a writer too , I honestly don't know why I kinda stopped and it helps the story if he was a writer so I wrote it a little anxiously at first but then it worked so well and I could see everything and it made me happy :P

THANK YOU!!! I LOVE GREY FEELS HONESTLY LIKE I LOVE RAINY DAYS OR EVEN CLOUDY DAYS. My friends call me insane but i just wanted to express that part of myself in this and I'm so happy it worked!! I have never actually been either and I want to go too!!!

Thank you!! I always accidentally write James as a bit too arrogant and I kind of wanted to challenge myself and write him as friendly?? Hahahaha, thats great that you can relate to her!

ooh thank you for picking that up!! thats super helpful!!

Thank you again for the wonderful review swap!

-Curie xx


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Review #14, by TreacleTart ég tala ekki íslensku

8th December 2015:
Hi Curie!

I'm here for our review swap!

I'm always interested in Next Gen stories to see how people envision the different characters. Since we don't have much cannon context for them, you have a lot of free range to write him exactly as you see them. I like this particular version of James. He's pretty much in line with the usual version that I see in fanfiction. Sort of a bit overly self confident and a bit of a flirt, but I liked that you kept him from seeming like a jerk.

I'm curious about Alia and her story. We get to see a few little snippets here and there that give us some context for who she is, but I feel like there has to be more to it.

Since this is a first chapter, I thought you did a good job of setting the scene and giving us an idea of who the main characters are and what the potential issues they may face are. I'm interested to see if James ends up on a wild goose chase looking for this model.

Now I do always try to leave a little bit of concrit in my reviews, so here goes...

The first POV switch to Alia was a bit confusing for me. I actually had to go back and read it a second time to understand that it wasn't James talking. I'm not exactly sure how to clarify that. Part of it is that it switches into 1st person, so we never have any identification really.

I caught two tiny little typos...

even through her husband had passed away – even though

in favour to staring aimlessly outside – in favour of

All in all, I think this is a strong start to your story. I'd definitely be interested in seeing where this goes.

Good job and welcome back!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!!

Thank you! I wanted to challenge myself with having him be a little nicer because, well, I read a lot of next gen and its hard to not morph him into other characters Ive read?

Thank you so much for the review swap and the CC! :D

-Curie xx


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Review #15, by Rumpelstiltskin ég tala ekki íslensku

8th December 2015:
Hello! I'm glad you translated that chapter title, because I don't speak Icelandic either. ^.^

I've seen a few members of the Next-Gen crew working with the newspapers, but I think this is the first time I've been witness to James Potter dabbling in the profession. I also love that he's been placed in the gossip section, while he's trying to pursue a more serious writing career for what I assume is a Quiddich paper.

Alia seems quite sweet, and a Godsend for James, who can speak Icelandic just as well as I can! I also do want to mention the absolutely stunning imagery -- that was quite brilliant, if I do say so myself! I love shades of blue and grey (and rain), so using them while painting the picture of the day made it quite vivid.

Awe, perfect timing for a lunch break! Now they can go out to lunch together! Do I sense a potential romance? ^.^ I love potential romance.

Jame's characterization is wonderful -- I love his cocky-but-sweet attitude, and the exchange between the two is great! I also really love the altering points of view! That's absolutely fabulous! It keeps things fresh and interesting.

The only CC I can give is this line, "Gluggavedur, for instance, was the exact for to use for the day easily visible " -- I think that there's just a word missing. Otherwise, it's pretty fantastic!

Lovely job!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: I just hope I translated it correctly as google translate is not right in many circumstances ;)

Thank you!!! It seemed to ridiculous to me, you know? The ever popular James Potter writing a gossip section?? And I'm glad you liked it because I personally love that :P

Hahaha, thank you!! I love grey days and rainy days and I'm so glad I was able to portray that well!! :)

YES POTENTIAL ROMANCE OF COURSE!! Its me Rumpel!! Everything is potential romance for me!!! ;)

Thank you!! I honestly think I just got lazy with writing the same point of view :P But yay it worked well in the end!!

Thank you rumpel!!

-Curry xx


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Review #16, by sunnyxxx ég tala ekki íslensku

17th August 2015:
It's so interesting that James is a
reporter in this, he's pretty much always
a quidditch player or an auror in the
other next gen fics I've read. Love the
premise of this fic already; both Alia and
James are likeable and intriguing, can't
wait to read more about them!

Author's Response: Thank you!! That means a lot especially since i was initially scared about making him a reporter because I myself could only imagine him as a quidditch player or an auror? But I'm pretty happy with this! And thank you again!!

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Review #17, by riddikulus11 ég tala ekki íslensku

13th July 2015:
I AM SO GLAD YOU BACK MAN!! THIS STORY LOOKS SO PROMISING AND CAN'T WAIT TO READ MORE!!
The characters are awesome and the chapter really picks up towards the end. I am already in love with James and Aliana.

Author's Response: TASHIE!! How very like you to call her Aliana ;) love you! And thank you for always reading my writing no matter how weird and rusty it is I love you!! thank u!!!

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