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Reading Reviews for Jigsaw
  
121 Reviews Found

Review #1, by aragorn007 Piece #30: The Final Picture

13th May 2017:
Splendid! What a clever way to redeem Fred; kudos to you for the 30-chapter suspense on his story :)

It took 2 years to write this FF, that's a long-term commitment! I admire you and all the other FF writers who manage to write their stories so well and finish them :)

Author's Response: Hello again!

Ah, I'm so glad that you liked the way that I redeemed Fred in this chapter. Looking back (now that it's almost a year since I finished this novel), I definitely think I could have explored the relationship between Fred and Roxy more, especially towards the end, but I found it difficult to add that in without disrupting the flow of the story and with tying up all the other loose ends that I'd left.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this story! It was definitely an experience and something of a journey writing it, and I've learnt an awful lot about planning and writing a novel from Jigsaw. I'm actually currently planning out a possible sequel to this story, so we'll see how that goes, and hopefully it'll be an improvement on this one :)

Thank you so much for stopping by to leave all these lovely reviews on my story!


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Review #2, by aragorn007 Piece #29

13th May 2017:
I'll never be able to understand Roxanne Weasley's never-ending love for Daniel Finch. She's 23, not 13! The way he broke up with Roxanne in the first place, it told me that Daniel was judgmental. It was so difficult to see Roxanne blaming herself all the time. I'd really hoped that she'll come around after Daniel went to kill Louis.

I think I need some closure regarding Fred. You never really gave him a chance to redeem himself. I hope it happens in the final chapter :)

Author's Response: Aw, poor Roxanne :P

Daniel is Roxy's first (and only, so far) love. It's not easy for her to accept the realities of his character because he was so good to her - at least, as far as she thought, though when she is at a point to look back clearly, rather than nostalgically through rose-tinted glasses, she'll see that he actually treated her rather badly, especially towards the end.

I'm hoping that it's explained somewhat in the final chapter - though it's certainly something that I could explore more - but Roxy has been suffering from undiagnosed depression for quite a while. It's not the easiest thing to read (and I really have been horrible to Roxy in this story, haven't I?) but I think it's definitely important to discuss, and that guilt and blaming yourself is a common symptom :)

Thank you so much for reading so far in this story and offering your feedback, it's been really interesting to read your thoughts!


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Review #3, by aragorn007 Piece #26

13th May 2017:
Hello. Really enjoyed reading this story so far. You have done wonders with the plot and all the characters. I loved how the rest of the Weasleys and Potters were introduced very late.

With the suspense factor, I believe you have done really well. Although, Roxanne's frequent long monologue's are a little irritating. Maybe it's more of an issue to me since the story is written first person.

Lastly, I love Roxanne but she's a little infuriating – how can a person be so bright and so dumb at the same time? It's funny how Jane and Miranda can figure out the obvious but she can't. Initially, it was kind of acceptable, but seeing how she did not warn Dom about Daniel... well, I don't really understand why she would do that. I know you explained through Miranda, but still...

Also, she did not find any proof of Miranda's innocence, she just did not find any evidence against her. So, wasn't it terribly stupid not to go to Harry first? What if Miranda WERE one of them???

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying the plot and characters so far. I tried to introduce a couple of the Weasleys earlier on in the story but it was a bit of a facing to get them all in early on. I'm glad that worked for you.

I'm sorry Roxy's monologue has been a bit irritating for you. I guess it's hard to please everyone, but it's what seemed to work for me in this story. I can definitely look at whether the monologues can be broken down and shortened, but a lot of it is as Roxy is processing the information that the reader is receiving. And haha, Roxy is a little dense, but to be fair to her, I think sometimes it can be hardest to see what's right in front of you when you're wrapped up in it?

When Roxy found out about Daniel, she basically went into shock, and it's not always easy to think straight then. And the reason she went to Miranda - besides what she heard making her believe that Miranda wasn't actually involved - was because of the embarrassment she felt about Daniel. It's not always easy to go to someone like Harry when she's been the one to bring Daniel into all of their lives and been wrong about him. Maybe I need to look at making that more believable?

Thank you for stopping and leaving a review!


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Review #4, by AbraxanUnicorn Piece #1

28th April 2017:
Hello Sian! Thought I'd drop by and review one of your stories for CTF #4 :)

The start of this chapter is packed with suspense; who is the man with the trembling hands? No wonder he's so nervous if he was anticipating the caller that arrived and cast the Imperius curse upon him. Wow.

That's one eye-catching news article! Godric's Hollow under siege from Garden Gnomes? Good grief! Is the wizarding world so quiet these days that garden gnomes make Prophet headlines? They're really scraping the bottom of the barrel with that story.

I love Roxanne's introduction. I mean, RW could stand for Rose, but I did read the brief before opening this chapter. The lovely description of the office as "the beating heart of the newspaper" is poetic, and your use of words here really builds an imaginative scene. I can almost smell the wafting perfume, too.

I feel pretty bad for Roxanne. She seems to have been given the same consideration as her ridiculous news article; unceremoniously stuffed into a little corner to either be scorned or forgotten about by everyone else in the office. How sad :( Perhaps her other colleagues treat her more fairly than Miranda and William, and, to an extent, Violet Toots. Speaking of whom, she's somewhat irritating and has a bit of a chip on her shoulder!

Ooh, so Roxanne has a man? Or does she? the references to "Daniel" don't sound particularly happy ones at all. And what happened between Roxanne and her brother for him to deliberately avoid her? Does Daniel have something to do with this? Sorry for peppering the comments section with questions...

Exploding teapot! Genius!!

There are a number of characters introduced here, but you do so quite seamlessly, and I love the balance between exposition and dialogue. Really well-written and intriguing chapter. I hope the flag is hidden in here so I get to review more of this story today :)

Brax X

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Review #5, by Dojh167 Piece #1

14th April 2017:
Hello wonderful Sian!

This is one of those incredible stories that I know I should have red long ago, but Iím not going to say I donít know why I havenít yet, but letís be real - I run at the sight of long stories. But now that Iím CtF jailbreaker I have no choice! And Iím kinda glad.

Hahaha, thatís quite a transition from imperio t seige by garden gnomes XD

I am such a sucker for roxanne as a bold woman of letters, and Iím sure Iím going to enjoy her in your hands.

Mmm yes, reporters sound like incredibly troublesome social connections. I like that you made violet an authority on muggle studies. Itís not a trait we seem often, and is interesting when combined with her nosy nature. Itís kind of funny because she seems like a gossip, but a lot of her topics of choice seem dull to others. Iím kind of interested in what she writes about. Is it just stores like the sports one, or does she report on actual current events in the muggle world?

What an interesting way to incorporate phones into the potterverse. I like that you resisted the temptation to make them more complicated than muggle phones and let them be simple. Wizards donít need all the bells and whistles and apps when they have wands!

Oh, did the Prophet used to be attached to the ministry? I totally never knew that.

Ouch, thatís a good point that Georgeís birthday would be really hard on all the Weasleys.

Hahah the woman who refuses tea because she had a teapot explode

ďthere are multiple occasions when we have found ourselves wondering where exactly the bright futures we were promised at Hogwarts have gone.Ē I feel ya, Roxanne.

Oh dear me McLaggen is a professional Quidditch player. And well hated at that XD

Yay, story for Roxanne! You go girl!

And you end with another line I really like: ďThere are no words, even from a journalistĒ

This was a good start - I hope to be back =)

Sam.

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Review #6, by victoria_anne Piece #1

13th April 2017:
I'm drawn in from the start! So many questions already! And your descriptions are just beautiful.

It's very cool how the chapters are pieces, too!

I... didn't actually read the summary before I started (wanted to jump right in? :P) so I had fun trying to guess who the main character is. My first guess was Rose, so to find out it's actually Roxanne is pretty cool! I hardly read fics on her, there doesn't seem to be many around, so this is awesome! Also to have her out of Hogwarts, too.

Cracking up at this: If you want an exploding teapot of your own, pop along to his shopÖ Ha ha!

Your character names (and even the pub names) are so amazing. Yeah, I'm just gushing over this story already!

As a fellow hospitality worker, I can totally empathise with Jane. I feel you, sister.

Beautiful tie in with the beginning of the chapter. The whole thing reads like a published novel. Honestly, Sian, this is amazing, and it's only the first chapter.

(Also, omg y'aasss look at the Merlin pride on the banner! :D)

I can't wait to come back and find out what's happened between Roxanne and her brother, and who Daniel is.

Really great work, Sian! ♥

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Review #7, by AbraxanUnicorn Piece #30: The Final Picture

1st January 2017:
I cannot put into words how good it is to read a suspenseful, well-written fanfic with Roxanne as the protagonist. She seems to be frequently overlooked in favour of other next gen characters.

This was brilliant, well-paced and very readable. Thank-you for creating it!

Author's Response: I've been struggling to put into words how lovely it is to receive a review like this!

I'm so pleased you enjoyed this story! I think part of the reason that I chose Roxy as the protagonist was because she's often overlooked, but since this was my first attempt at a novel and mystery, I wasn't very confident in my abilities. I'm glad that you liked it!

Thank you for this lovely review!


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Review #8, by 800 words of heaven Piece #1

14th December 2016:
Hello, Sian! I'm going to be away from internet when it's your birthday, so I'm popping in a little early to leave you a birthday review.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I've been meaning to read this story since you first published it. Now that it's finished (I think?) I can enjoy it in all it's complete glory! Woohoo! I'll (hopefully) be back to review the other chapters soon.

That opening scene reminds me so much of the opening of Goblet of Fire. Something wicked this way comes! Brace yourself! (I am completely and utterly braced, and am giddy with what you have planned for me, the reader.)

I really enjoyed the rest of this first chapter. I wasn't expecting it to be written in first person, but it definitely gives it a personal touch, since we're right inside Roxanne's internal monologue.

Your descriptions are amazing. I am a little jealous :P The scenes are set up so well and everything feels so atmospheric. That pub sounds like a cool hipster place. (I want to go there now.)

I really like how you took the time to build up a picture of what Roxanne's life is like on an everyday basis. I was expecting to be thrown right into the thick of things, but this feels like it's going to be more of a slow burn - I'm excited!

This is a lovely chapter one, and happy birthday once again :)

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Review #9, by krazyboutharryginny Piece #1

19th September 2016:
Hi Sian! IDK how I never left a review on this... but I'm here now!

So first of all, I normally am not the hugest fan of either first person or present tense (although I am currently writing a story in present tense myself haha), but I think both really work here. It didn't read awkwardly at all or pull me out of the story.

I really like that you started out the chapter with that little snippet of what is, presumably, the mystery that Roxanne is going to be investigating. I think that was a really effective way to draw readers in.

Roxanne is great! I love that you have her doing sort of grunt work, because it could be tempting to write it so that her family name landed her a good job - but this is a much more rewarding read, imo. Instead of starting with Roxanne at the top and just focusing solely on the mystery, we get to see her struggle and try to fulfill her ambitions.

I also love Jane and how close she and Roxanne clearly are. And you did a fantastic job with that conversation between the two of them - revealing that there is drama in Roxanne's personal life without telling us all the backstory. You've left me super curious and wanting to read on - which is obviously what one wants to achieve when writing a novel :)

This is a really fantastic first chapter, and I'm really excited to read more!

-Kayla

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Review #10, by The Raven Piece #1

21st August 2016:
Hello there again. Tis me, the Raven, back with another review for the Pass It Along Challenge.

This tale grabbed me from the start. The tension is palpable and the descriptions are impeccable. I love this line ĎDread worms its way through his body, creeping along his veins and consuming him.í And to end it with an Unforgivable Curse before dropping us into an newspaper office scene - oh, too perfect!

Your Rose is such a well developed character (and more preferable than the Rose that appears in The Cursed Child). Hopes, fears and regrets are all touched on in this initial chapter and relayed in such a way that it feels natural. I love how she wonders where that bright future she was promised in school disappeared to and how sheís had to interview former classmates who Ďmade it.í Ah, this rings so true even for us Muggles!

But finally, Rose seems to have been given her break. The chapter seems to have circled back to that mysterious gentleman from the beginning. I have to hand it to you, this tale is a rare gem. Excellent start!

Your most cordially,
The Raven

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Review #11, by MB Piece #30: The Final Picture

8th August 2016:
So, I just read your entire story in 24 hours and I just wanted to say you did a phenomenal job. They mystery, the characters, everything was very well written and executed. I look forward to reading your future stories.

Author's Response: I really don't know what to say to this review... it means an amazing amount that you actually read this story all the way through and in such a short amount of time, too! Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know you enjoyed it - I'm so pleased that you liked the way I wrote and executed this story! Thank you again :)

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Review #12, by Ohpl Piece #30: The Final Picture

11th July 2016:
I enjoyed your story from beginning to end. Roxy was such an interesting and well-rounded character. Congratulations on finishing . I will keep my eye out for any new writing by you.

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you enjoyed reading Roxanne's story! She came to mean a lot to me and it was so good to share her journey with other people as well. Your support throughout this meant so much.

It's been a while since you left this (far too long, I'm afraid) but you might be pleased to know I'm actually working on a sequel to Jigsaw at the moment! Thank you for all your reviews on my novel!


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Review #13, by Holly Piece #29

1st July 2016:
I can't believe this fic is almost over, a couple of chapters ago I was desperate to know what was going on, and now I don't want it to end! Despite really not liking Daniel throughout I actually felt sorry for him at the end there. I'm glad Roxy walked away, but his future is pretty bleak! I've loved all the detective aspects and I'm glad to see a happy ending. Thanks for pulling on through and finishing, so many people don't and its always wonderful to see something finished well :)

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Review #14, by Ohpl Piece #28

16th June 2016:
Fabulous chapter. Can't wait for your next update.

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Review #15, by Holly Piece #27

11th May 2016:
that was so good! yay I'm glad Roxy got there in time for Louis, honestly was actually a little worried he might die or something :P hope they become good friends now she's saved his life lol

I love how Roxy started the story much more naive and dependent on others, and now she's solving cases before the hit wizards and saving people like a bamf. I didn't like her as much in the beginning (mainly because it felt she let people boss her around about her supposed infidelity to Daniel) but now she's an awesome character, I hope she gets the recognition from the other characters she deserves :) great story, I don't want it to come to an end but I still really want to read the next chapter haha!

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Review #16, by Ohpl Piece #27

11th May 2016:
Cool chapter. Love this story. Can't wait to see how you are going to wrap it up. I really enjoy your writing. Clear and concise with a good mixture of action and internal dialogue.

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Review #17, by Holly Piece #25

12th April 2016:
woah, this story keeps getting better and better! gotta say I did not see that coming :) I really hope Roxanne gets there in time for Louis, I kinda like him. Plus finally, I've not liked Daniel for ages! The way he manipulated Roxanne into feeling guilty for something that wasn't actually that horrific (plus everyone else treating her badly too!) made him really annoying. In your face Fred! Unless he's in on it too...

Author's Response: Hi Holly!

Ah, thank you so much for still reading and reviewing this story, it means so much to know that people are following it and enjoying it - and to say that it's improving, too! I'm really glad you didn't see the twist coming here, it's something I've had planned for SO long and I wanted people to be surprised by it :)

Haha, your instincts might have been quite good, then - he definitely didn't treat Roxanne very well over what happened with Paul, and it's caused her a lot of problems. As for everything else, I couldn't possibly comment yet, but another chapter has just gone up for you to enjoy!

Thank you for stopping by to review! ♥


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Review #18, by Aphoride Piece #12

9th March 2016:
Hey Sian! :) Dropping by for our review swap! :) Sorry this is so late - my contact lenses dried out yesterday evening so I couldn't use my laptop any more (boo eyes :P) and then I was busy with uni stuff all day today, but I'm here now! :D

I love how this is progressing, how there are little things coming out of it which seem so significant, but who knows? Roxy's theory seems like it could be right, like she could be onto something, but I dunno... you wouldn't reveal it this early, would you? Hm... you're making me very suspicious in this story :P But at the moment, it seems like the best and most likely theory, if a little bit too obvious... maybe? ;)

Can I just say as well, how glad I am that Jane is fine? Like, I was really half-expecting her to turn up dead or to be really ill or something, but not to be being evicted - which, tbh, was something of a relief compared to what I was thinking :P It's still so awful, though, that she's lost her job and can't really go back to her family or get much support from them it seems, and how she sort of has to depend on Roxy for support - it can be so hard and so upsetting for people to feel like they can't manage things :( But I kinda like that her life (and Roxy's, to an extent) is really hard, because it's so real, that things like getting a good job and finding somewhere decent to live which doesn't take all of your money can be so, so difficult and painful. It just, for me, adds a whole layer of realism to this which I love so much, because in other things it's not really there :)

And I love how Roxy just immediately takes her in, and how Jane feels she has to repay her somehow, so tidies and cleans (- Jane can be my roommate any day :P) instead of paying rent. They have such a great friendship and it's so so lovely to see that being an important relationship in a story since it's often left out of fic :)

Richard! No! I can't believe Richard's guilty - frankly, he seemed too spaced to be guilty :P But no, I hope nothing bad happens to him. Speaking of which, that beginning section, with the two people talking about Rhiannon Griffiths (I assume?) is just so scary and so creepy. Omigosh, she's really not very safe. The way you wrote it, too, with just the dialogue and little description was so good - it really kinda added to the whole shadowy feel of whoever they are.

I'm so excited for Roxy that she has her new theory about the potions, and she's got a break with the interview (and how Miranda got shouted at by Higgins, haha :P She deserved it!). I'm pretty sure it won't last too long, but it's nice for her to have a break at some point :P

Also, all of your details in this are so lovely. Really, really good. Every thing in this seems so carefully thought-out and like its placed exactly where it should be, you know? It's all the little things in this which make it come alive too: which make the creepiness at the beginning, the shock which comes through from Richard's phonecall and how miserable he seems, and Jane's misery and gratefulness when Roxy insists she stays with her.

Your writing is so good, though, but I don't think you need me to tell you this again - pretty sure I've said it before :P But it is. Like, I love how easily you blend action and multiple scenes into one chapter - I struggle with that so bad and you make it look so easy! I'm so jealous ;) Plus, your dialogue and description are always so good and so right for the characters and the situation - everything is so evocative in this, whatever it is, and you just pull every emotion and every sense out of every word. It's so great and really, I need to read more of your writing, so try not to get too swamped at uni ;)

I'm so so glad we swapped so I could stop by here again - I've definitely got to not leave it so long next time! :)

Aph xx

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Review #19, by MuggleMaybe Piece #3

5th March 2016:
Here again with prize review #3 and to support the HPFF Review-A-Thon.

I'm so proud of Roxanne for her article - that's so exciting! Thank goodness for Andy though. Her other coworkers are terrible. Well, Violet isn't as bad as Miranda, I suppose. The press conference was intriguing. They're definitely still hiding something (or maybe multiple somethings) but at least they revealed they have a suspect or two, and our girl Roxanne asked an excellent question. Yay!

It seems to me that despite her frustration at work, Roxanne is actually a talented and hard working reporter, and the others (most of them) are kind of sleazy. At least, that's the impression I got when they went to the pub. I liked that you showed Roxanne's discomfort with the industry's brusque attitude toward traumatic incidents. It's that vulnerable side of her I asked about in chapter 1. Nice! Plus, it separates her from the pack in the reader's eyes, so we know why she really is the one that deserves to have the best story. I'm rooting for her!

I didn't get to find out more about Daniel, but then again it wouldn't really have fit, would it?

excellent job again! I hope to come back soon for chapter 4.
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: I'm very proud of Roxanne, too! She's only 23, but she's so determined and ambitious and it's been really frustrating for her not to have the chance to prove what she can do. I couldn't not let her article go well :P

Andy is a champion, he's so lovely and I loved writing him, because work is hard enough and poor Roxy doesn't get on very well with a lot of her colleagues. They are kind of terrible, aren't they?

Writing this story actually made me think a lot more about those aspects of journalism - I think a lot of the time we can read articles in the papers and just think that the journalists are completely ruthless, but Roxy hasn't been operating at this level for long and so hasn't had much chance to settle herself with that aspect. I'm glad you liked seeing the more vulnerable side to her here!

Thank you for yet another lovely review!


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Review #20, by MuggleMaybe Piece #2

5th March 2016:
I'm back for the HPFF Review-A-Thon with prize review #2.

You know how I said it was hard to review the plot in chapter one? Well, I found the plot! :D So much happens in this chapter, it read at such a fast pace because I was so excited about everything going on.

Drunk apparation is not a good idea Roxanne! On the other hand, it shows that she's willing to take a risk, a could quality for someone trying to solve a mystery.

The scene with the journalists was interesting, especially when Roxanne asked a question. I wasn't expecting that. And Richard is an intriguing character. On the other hand, I don't think I trust the lady Hit Wizard that did the interview. I'm keeping an eye on her.

And then, Daniel. I wonder what happened?? I really thought he wasn't going to be there, but you sneaked him in right under my nose, and I am absolutely dying to know the backstory there! I'm sad he didn't agree to talk to her. She deserves that much, I'm sure. He'll be back though, I'm sue of it. I just don't know what that will mean for Roxanne.

I'm thoroughly enjoying this - looking forward to chapter 3.
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: You found the plot! Yay! I feel like I maybe kind of hit people with it in this chapter because there's so much going on, but I'm glad that you were happy to see everything that's going on here and that it made up for the slower start to the story.

Roxy is sometimes a little irresponsible :P But she is only 23, and plenty of people make mistakes at 23 - plus she's determined not to let her chance slip away.

Mwahaha I really can't say anything about which characters you should and shouldn't trust at this point, can I? :P I'm glad you liked the scene with the journalists though!

If you get the chance to read on, you do get to find out what happened with Daniel a few chapters into the story - I couldn't resist slipping him into the end of this story and hopefully making people more curious about that aspect of it. There were a lot of plot threads running through this story and I wanted to try and introduce them early on enough that they didn't come from nowhere.

Thank you for this lovely review - I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter!


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Review #21, by MuggleMaybe Piece #1

5th March 2016:
Hi Sian! I'm here for the HPFF Review-A-Thon with the first of your 4 prize reviews.

I know you said something written in 2015 or later - I hope this counts. I love mysteries, and I love Roxanne, so I simply couldn't help but read this when I saw it at the top of your AP.

It's good, really good.

As far as character goes, I think you've given a strong start to Roxanne. Her voice is pragmatic and straightforward, which makes sense for a journalist. I might like to see just a touch more vulnerability (as opposed to irritation) from her now and then, but as this is only chapter one you have plenty of time to do that.
I am *very* curious about the fallout between her and Fred.

Where plot is concerned, it's a bit hard to say this early on, obviously. But I see a number of potentials conflicts you can use, so that's a great sign.

Looking forward to chapter 2!
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Renee!

Jigsaw definitely counts as something written in 2015 or later - plus it's still kind of my baby as the first novel I've ever written, so I'm glad it caught your eye and you wanted to read about Roxanne!

Roxanne's voice was something I worked hard on, especially at the start, and I think that her voice probably comes through a bit stronger as the novel goes on, because I certainly got more comfortable writing her. There's definitely more vulnerability in the next few chapters, I think - Roxy doubts herself quite a lot, although she is quietly confident that she can achieve what she wants to and is frustrated not to have the chance to prove it.

This chapter was *really* hard for me to write, because I had no idea how to start a novel, but I wanted to try and keep this intriguing enough for you to want to read on - I'd like to think there's a lot more plot later on :P

Thank you for your review and for picking Roxy out!


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Review #22, by Ohpl Piece #24

8th February 2016:
I'm still reading this story and enjoying it. Can't wait for your next update.

Author's Response: Hi! Ah, it's lovely to see that you're still reading and enjoying this story - it means so much to know people are still following it, in spite of my shoddy updating skills (sorry for that!). I'm hoping to have a new chapter up in the next few weeks :) Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #23, by Regan Piece #24

7th February 2016:
Oh Roxy---you are in too deep!

Great chapter, compelling and tight. It's fun to see all the plot strings come together.
For so long Roxy has been going solo but now she's finally getting some (much needed) support and back up. Such a transition is really cool to read about.
Also, thanks of the cliff hanger! Eep and Ahhhs! So Roxy has a target on her back!
Super excited to see how it all pans out! -R

Author's Response: Hello! Sorry for the delay in replying to this!

Roxy is definitely in this very deep... she's got a lot going on and is really out of her depth on this, even if she doesn't want to recognise that. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter, though - I really wasn't sure on this one, but it's great to hear you liked it! I'm working on updates and hopefully there'll be a new chapter up in the next few weeks! :) Thank you for a lovely review!


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Review #24, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Piece #11

29th December 2015:
Hi again!

I was a bit confused by the opening scene, to be honest. I couldn't tell why everyone rushed for the doors as soon as Griffths fell. I wondered if people thought she'd been taken down by Dark Magic or something-- that was the only reason I could see for everyone fleeing. I hate to say it, but I feel like sports crowds are pretty enthralled by bad injuries. Everyone has to stand up and try to see through the mess of doctors and wonder about what's wrong and all that. And then the people who support the injured player's team are moaning about the setback, and the people who are against that team are secretly a little pleased. And Quidditch is a dangerous sport, with Bludgers and all, so injuries have got to happen all that time. I understand that this was an injury of a different magnitude, but I find it hard to believe the game would just be over, and the fans would pour out. They'd paid money for their tickets, after all. I feel like the scene might have made more sense if there was some formal announcement over the loudspeakers about temporarily suspending the game, something to indicate that there will be a big enough delay for people to get bored and go home. That, or maybe everyone stays, but Roxanne is so upset that Louis decides to take her home and they're the only two that leave.

Moving on, though, I LOVED the brief mention of Tinsworth. For some reason I'm constantly curious about the odd intersection of Muggles of wizards-- there must be so many interesting hybrid moments, like the ones in the town you described, and I find them fascinating. I know I've written about a shop that caters to both Muggles and wizards before, and I really like your take on it too. Small moment, but an exciting one for me!

My hatred of Miranda is just so... complete. You've really made her into a piece of work. I squirm so much whenever she's talking, and when Roxanne finally got a small strike back at her, I was thrilled. I was a little surprised at Violet's role in that section of the story though. At times she seems to be totally separate from the Miranda/Roxanne tiffs, and just there for entertainment. At other times, though, she seems to be genuinely on Roxanne's side. I have trouble figuring out why she could be rooting for Roxanne while still sitting back and watching the poor girl get so much abuse. I can see how someone who is truly there listening just for the fun of it could possibly root for the underdog while still wanting to see all the drama, but I still just get this sense that she really is sympathetic of Rose in a way beyond wanting the underdog to win in a battle.

So, so excited to finally hear more about the Jane mystery. You've been stringing it out for so long! Not to mention, I'm ready to learn more about Fred too, and maybe some more progress with Daniel... I really applaud you for juggling so many plot threads at once. You've done an admirable job. Wasn't Fred involved in some illegal potion mention a couple chapters back? Could that be linked to the newer illegal potions mentioned in this chapter? Maybe this is all even more entangled than I ever thought...

Great job on this chapter, nothing new there! Gonna do my darndest to get more caught up!

Author's Response: Hello!

Again, an exceptionally good point :P I feel like sometimes I really need someone to sound all these plot points off before I start writing it, because you're the first reader/reviewer to even mention that. I think you're right in thinking that it's more normal for people to be craning to get a view of the scene, but I kind of imagined it as people panicking about what was happening since there was no reason for it to happen - it was a bit different than just an injury. I'll definitely review that and try and edit the reactions to make more sense when I get chance to go through this story again.

Tinsworth was really fun to write about! It wasn't something I'd really planned to include, but one of those details that came to me when I was writing. I always enjoy including them because I find those details so interesting, but I do worry that other people won't. Now I want to read your story too!

Miranda is just... ugh. I don't think I've ever created a character that I've disliked as much. She's a bit like Umbridge, I guess, and I would be lying if I said that she isn't partly inspired by someone I know, as well. I don't think Violet is really rooting for Roxanne, exactly - more that she does enjoy her entertainment from their tiffs, but at times sometimes she thinks that Miranda goes too far. She's in a position where she's not afraid of stepping in and saying something, but a lot of the time she chooses not to so that she can have an easier life.

Juggling all of the different plotlines is something I've actually been really worried about! When I first began the planning for the story, Jane was spending a year in Australia for some unknown reason, and half of the side-plots didn't exist in any form, so I'm glad that there's enough happening in the story to keep you interested and that it doesn't feel like something one-dimensional.

I've said this each time now, but I do genuinely mean it: thank you so much for supporting this story and leaving such thoughtful and detailed reviews. It means a lot to me that anyone would take the time to do that and it's so encouraging to think that someone's still reading and enjoying this. Thank you so, SO much for these fantastic reviews! ♥


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Review #25, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Piece #10

28th December 2015:
Aagh, sorry for being such an erratic reader. Would really like to make more of a dent in this story!

First off, maybe this is just an example of me being slow, but I feel like I'm only just beginning to appreciate how cool it is that this is a story about a murder mystery from a journalist's perspective. Don't laugh! I mean, obviously I know that that's what this is about. But it's just a unique place to be in for this kind of story. I've read plenty of detective novels before (I really really like this one set of companion novels by Tana French, I can't recommend them highly enough if you're into murder mysteries) but they're always from the point of view of the person assigned to solve the case. Here, we're getting it all from someone who also wants to solve the case, but who also is getting extremely little information from the actual people who know the case's details. You've done such a nice job with moving the story forward even though Roxanne is privy to so little on the murders. I'll chalk this "revelation" up to the fact that I'm returning to this story for the first time in two months.

I hate Miranda so much! At least villains are complex and interesting... she is just awful. (Not to say she's totally one dimensional! She's just, you know, a more minor but also more immediate foe than the real bad guys in the story) I was so mad when I read the line about her grabbing Roxanne's notes and then not letting Roxanne touch hers. You've really picked out some telling details to reveal her true colors.

I was intrigued about the moment where Roxanne mentioned that Miranda seemed disinterested in the case, and that such an attitude was out of character. For a moment I was confused, but then I thought: Okay, she must be putting on a show of disinterest for Roxanne, and trying to lead her on the wrong track, so that Miranda can pounce on some real information and keep it to herself in order to get all the glory. But then it was even worse than I expected when she got Roxanne thrown off the story! God, I was so upset.

I do find it a little strange that Miranda's the only one on both stories now, though. You'd think that now that the two biggest stories of the year are going full force, Higgins would at least replace Roxanne with someone else. I'd imagine he'd choose his true top writer and put him or her on it.

There was one image that was an unexpected and subtle bit of beautiful imagery: "as he folds his long limbs into his tall chair, I get the distinct impression of a spider curling up in its web."

I liked that you broke up the intenseness of the case and the dreadful surprise of Roxanne being thrown off the story with a more light-hearted Quidditch match. You wrote it really well, I was just about as on the edge of my seat as the characters. I liked how you wove in bits of backstory about the things, like the Cannons' one good player or the expectations for the game-- they all fit in fluidly with the actual action. And you even ended the chapter on a dramatic note that was unrelated to the main plot! You always seem to sneak something in there. ;) Well done.

I guess the real question now is what's going to happen to the case, in Roxanne's eyes, now that she's been formally removed from her role in it. I can only imagine, given that I'm not even halfway through the posted chapters, that she's going to get back in somehow-- and in a fashion that gets her right in the heat of things. Wouldn't want to read twenty chapters of her getting tiny snippets of information about nothing, would we? No, I feel like she's either going to get back on the story itself, by somehow ousting Miranda or getting a leg up from someone like Richard, or that she's going to find another way into the case. Something will happen with Daniel, maybe? That could be an interesting angle. That's kind of my hope, but, given that Roxanne is a journalist and a good deal of this story is invested in her journalistic career, my bet will be that she finds her way onto the story again. Can't wait to find out!

All in all, this was another great chapter, no surprise there. As always, the characters have been a joy; a good plot is one thing, and you definitely have that, but there's no way I would still be here if I weren't deeply invested in the characters as well. (Speaking of characters, still waiting to find out about Jane!!) Looking forward to digging even deeper into the story. I'll be back soon!

Author's Response: Ah, is it strange that I'm actually excited to be replying to this in a sort of reasonable time frame, since it's only a couple of days since you left it? :P

Ooh, I'll definitely have to check those books out - they sound really good, and I love a good detective story! I'm really pleased that you like the way that we get a very different perspective on this story with Roxanne being a journalist rather than a detective in the centre of the case; I've read a couple of stories and novels with private detectives and such who haven't been entirely privy to the police investigation, but none with a journalist trying to solve the mystery, so I'm glad that it seems unique but makes sense at the same time!

Miranda is really awful and horrible. She's seen Roxanne as a threat since she really joined the paper and hasn't let up in her campaign against her since then... but at the same time she's a very clever and shrewd woman and knows how to get what she wants from life, whether that's to date popular guys or, in this case, get Roxy thrown off the story.

That is actually a really good point. Ugh, I hate how many plot holes appear in this story without me even noticing them, but thank you so much for pointing them out!

This chapter was actually one I was really looking forward to writing when I planned out the story. Even though I've never written a Quidditch match before and I was nervous about writing it, the whole scene was fun to write and I liked including Louis and Dom here, and the little details about the match too.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I'm not sure if you realise how grateful I am or how fantastic a reviewer you really are, but thank you so much for supporting this story and taking the time to leave these reviews!


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