Reading Reviews for Risk
26 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan Five

1st December 2015:

I love the relationship you're establishing between Molly and Kiernan, and how they're such good friends, inside and out of the workplace, and they both tease each other so much haha.

It must be so terrifying for Molly, because if she and Kiernan don't solve the case quickly, someone else will die. That's such a huge amount of pressure and with such tragic consequences.

Ooh, if I'm correct that's the first letter we've seen from Genevieve, as I think the others were all Charles. (Or maybe I just have a bad memory) Too bad that it ended up not being any help, as apparently Genevieve didn't marry Hadrian. But I don't think it's an entirely dead end - after all, he died only three months after the date on these letters, and something tells me he didn't just randomly die of natural causes. Perhaps someone investigated his murder case back in 1892? (because let's be real... Genevieve and/or Charles definitely had a reason)

Things are really getting interesting! I hope you haven't given up on this story, and if not, that you are struck with inspiration soon because I'd love to know what happens!

It was really fun reading through this!

Author's Response: Hi again!
Molly and Kiernan's relationship is one of my favorite parts of this story. They're just so much fun to write because they work so well together both as friends and as partners at work.
I can't imagine being under the pressure that Molly is working with. Plus she's putting a lot of pressure on herself to prove that she's got what it takes to be an Auror.
The letters are actually alternate! So it's their correspondence in chronological order.
I'm definitely not giving up on this story! I just haven't had a ton of inspiration for it recently. But I want to finish it sooner rather than later, so I'm going to try and get a new chapter out soon!
Thank you for all the great reviews!
Cassie :)

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Review #2, by marauderfan Four

1st December 2015:

They liked trading Auror stories back and forth, and Kiernan was a huge Chudley Cannons fan -- Haha! Oh, I love this. Ron would probably become instant friends with anyone who said they were a Chudley Cannons fan. Omg, here's a question (that is entirely unrelated, I'm sorry) WHAT IF Draco Malfoy was a Chudley Cannons fan? WOULD THEY BECOME FRIENDS BECAUSE OF IT?! (New plunny!)

So anyway, back to the story... wait, one more kind of random observation. Can I tell you how much I love it that Goyle's son is a musician and that somehow he's hot. I've NEVER seen this characterization before and I love it. XD I'm trying to imagine what type of music. My first thought was some sort of growly, angsty music. Or perhaps, he's in a boyband, because it'd be funny. XD I'm cracking myself up.

(Wow, this might be the most rambly review I've ever done and I'm sorry. Note to self, less coffee next time.)

All right, for real now. AHH! When Bradley mentioned that the other person was writing love letters to Katie, I immediately latched on to the similarity with Charles and Genevieve's letters - obviously there's a connection... somewhere... but I just can't figure out what it is? Are Charles and Genevieve still alive? What was the outcome of their story (because I bet it relates). I'm just thinking so hard of some connection between Charles and Genevieve and all the later cases - why would the women all have letters with them? Did they have it already or was it placed there by the murderer? This story is so well plotted and it's clear that you've planned out all the finer details of this and are slowly revealing them one by one - you've paced the story really well. I enjoyed reading the interviews with people in this one.

Awesome work.

Author's Response: Hello!
Haha, I love that Ron and Kiernan are friends. I got the idea for them to get along really well, because of their mutual love for the Cannons, and then couldn't resist putting it in the story somehow.
Again, I couldn't resist making Bradley a Goyle. I knew that I wanted Katie to have a musician for a boyfriend, and she's very picky so he'd definitely be attractive, but it wasn't until I was actually writing the chapter that I thought to make him Goyle's son. And he definitely plays really grungy, angsty rock music.
There most definitely is a connection! But I'm not going to tell you what it is. Heeheehee.
Thank you for another wonderful review! I'm glad you're enjoying this story so much!
Cassie :)

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Review #3, by marauderfan Three

1st December 2015:

the scene with Abigail's husband was so sad. I really liked the way you portrayed him and his relationship with his wife, because it felt so realistic. His marriage to her wasn't all sunshine and roses, and they fought a lot, wanted different things, and were separated - but obviously he still cares so much about her and is completely devastated about her death. I think the way you showed the multiple sides to this relationship and the love he had for her despite that they as a couple weren't working out anymore, was really touching and very realistic because it's complicated.

"She was living with her sister in a flat near Diagon Alley." -- why oh why didn't they ask what her sister's name is?! If they find out later on that Abigail and Christine were sisters, Kiernan and Molly are going to feel like idiots :p

I FEEL VERY SUSPICIOUS OF HAYDEN WHO IS HE. Like the way I read this chapter, it's almost as if he's trying to get her out of there. Why was he still there in the first place? He mentioned it was weird for Molly to be there, so what is Hayden doing there lurking in doorways?! I am suspicious, I tell you. I don't trust him.

Gah, you are really good at keeping up this mystery!! Every chapter I change my opinion of what happened and I still feel like I'm no closer to the actual truth and I'm just guessing over and over, so clearly you're doing this right :D

Great chapter.

Author's Response: Hello there!
I'm glad you liked the scene with Abigail's husband. I really tried to make it realistic, so it's great that it came across that way! People and relationships are just so complex that I wanted to show how someone can still care about another person even if their relationship isn't perfect. Abigail and her husband's marriage didn't work out, but he still wants her to be safe and happy.
When in doubt, question everyone. :P
I'm so glad you are enjoying this story, and that it's making you question your theories! I'm having so much fun hearing different people's opinions on everything.
Cassie :)

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Review #4, by marauderfan Two

1st December 2015:

(it's hot seat day)

Her father, although pleased that she wanted to follow in his footsteps and work at the Ministry of Magic, was a little less enthusiastic at the idea of Molly pursuing such a dangerous career -- haha YES. This is exactly what I thought while reading the previous chapter and it's really cool to see characterization done that way, you know, where you pick up on something and then later when it's mentioned directly you're like "Of course!" And this is exactly the reaction I would have expected from Percy about his daughter wanting to become an Auror. I imagine that Percy probably is very protective of his family after what happened to him during the war and how he lost Fred just after finally reconciling with his family - I've always imagined that he harboured a lot of guilt after that - and this combined with how he'd probably feel about Ron and Harry glorifying their dangerous missions, I can absolutely understand his POV here and why he reacted that wya. But at the same time, he can't really tell Molly to change her dreams.

Wow, no more answers forthcoming, eh? Another murder and another note. Okay, here are my wild(ly improbable) theories. 1. The new murder victim is a relative of Christine King. Okay, and here's where it's going to start to get unlikely 2. Genevieve and/or Charles ARE THE MURDERERS and have either 2a. travelled forward in time or 2b. took something like the Elixir of Life to live a really long time and therefore remain in the present. Why they did that is anyone's guess

I think your answers will be better than mine and I can't wait to find out more.

Author's Response: Hello again!
I think Percy would have really struggled with the idea of his oldest daughter becoming an Auror. He wants her to represent the family well, so he likes that she wants to work in the Ministry, but thinks being an Auror is too wild and dangerous. He definitely wants to protective his family, and has a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that Molly will be okay in such a dangerous job.
Interesting theories! But I'm not going to tell you if you're right. Mwahaha.
Thank you for another great review!
Cassie :)

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Review #5, by marauderfan One

1st December 2015:

I love stories about Molly II. I've seen so many different portrayals of her and I never really know what to expect from her, which is maybe why I like her. And I love that she's an Auror here, like I can see how she's been influenced by Percy at wanting a job in the Ministry, yet totally her own person and not the clone of her father, as her choice of job indicates she a bit more of a thrill seeker, as being an Auror has the potential to be dangerous and fast paced.

OMG WAS A TIME TRAVELLER MURDERED!?!?! Or is Christine secretly 150 years old? Genevieve and Charles are related to her? I don't know. Must find out.

So yeah, this is an excellent start to what looks like a really interesting story!

Author's Response: Hello again!
I haven't seen many stories about Molly II, either, but when I have seen her character in stories on the archive, she's typically characterized as really bookish and uptight. I wanted to do something different with her character, so I decided to make her an Auror!
So many questions, but I'm afraid that I really take things slow before you get any answers. Heehee.
I'm so glad you liked this! Thank you for another great review!
Cassie :)

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Review #6, by apondinabluebox Three

22nd October 2015:
Hello, Cassie! ♥

So I decided to leave a second review to hopefully make up for the 14k chapter I asked to swap with you -- and hello! A husband! A husband with a motive!

I agree with Kiernan here. For all we know, the husband could be using these letters to throw the Aurors off the trail, and killed Christine as practice for killing Abigail. The fact Abigail lives in Diagon Alley too suggests that the killer has some kind of connection to the place, although I'm reluctant to think he lives there because surely he wouldn't leave bodies on his doorstep? But perhaps he works there in a shop/the pub/a cafe? Maybe that's how he found his victims?

(Can you tell that I watch too many cop shows? :P)

I like Molly's sweetness. She wants to see the best in people, but she's very naive and inexperienced as an Auror. You're doing really well with her characterisation, although I'd like to see more of the other characters.

I'm finding it really interesting that the murderer's targeting rich women, but he doesn't want their money or expensive jewellery. It's a parallel to the Genevieve, who was going to run away from her rich family to be with the poor Charles. So what happened? Did something go wrong? And now this is revenge, the murderer killing "Genevieve" over and over again?

I love this story, Cassie, and I can't wait to find out more! ♥

Author's Response: Hello!
I watch a bunch of cop shows, too, and it's made writing this so much fun! I'm trying to throw in lots of twists so you guys don't figure out the mystery too easily! I've gotten lots of guesses and theories, and I really enjoy hearing what you guys think about who the killer is!
Molly really believes in "innocent until proven guilty." She doesn't want to accuse people prematurely, and thinks that getting on their good side or befriending them is just as good a tactic as coming in hard and interrogating them.
Thank you so much for another lovely review! I really appreciate it!
Cassie :)

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Review #7, by apondinabluebox Two

22nd October 2015:
Hello, Cassie! I'm here for our review swap! ^.^ I hope you don't mind me leaving my review on this chapter, since the first chapter had lots of feedback and this one had less reviews and needed some love. :)

You sparked my interest with the first chapter, and developed it further here. Molly as an Auror is something that's rarely seen in fanfic, and you've characterised her well here. You've given her traits from Percy, but also let her be her own person -- good job!

The love letters are so mysterious! How did the murderer get hold of Genevieve and Charles' letters? What does a romance from the 1800s have to do with 21st century murders? Could either of them still be alive? (Wizards do live longer than Muggles... unless they aren't magical?)

I love the banter between Molly and Kiernan! Although the serial killer striking twice in three days is worrying -- what's the urgency? What are his motivations? Why is he beating them up before using magic?

And the flashback was great! It helped expand upon Molly's characterisation, and gave us an opportunity to see some of the Weasleys, who haven't yet appeared in the present. Go Harry and Ron! Taking a prospective Auror around the department during the summers is a good way of helping them be aware of the decisions they're making, instead of having Molly enter training with no idea of what to expect. Although Percy's much harder to decide on, because while I can understand his need to make sure his daughter's safe, surely he should be more supportive and present his concerns more constructively? That's Percy, though; at least Audrey has some common sense, and it seems Percy does come round in the end if Molly's an Auror now.

The only thing that niggles me is that the summary says she's 28. If she went into training after school at 18, and training lasts three years, why is she still a junior Auror after seven years in the department?

Overall though, I love this story, Cassie, and I can't wait to read more! ^.^

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I'd never written Molly before starting this story, so I had a lot of fun exploring her character. I think she's someone who doesn't get written a lot on this site, which is sad because there are so many different directions you could take her character in.
I'm trying to draw out the mystery, so I'm glad you're curious about the letters!
I love writing Molly and Kiernan together. They're so close that they know practically everything about one another, and they work really well together.
I really had fun with that flashback, so I'm glad you liked it. I couldn't imagine Percy taking it well when Molly decided to be an Auror, and wanted to look at the moment he found out and how that made Molly feel.
In my mind she started training at 19, because she was 18 by the time she finished school, and started training the next year. With all the things they have to learn and perfect during training, I feel like three years seems pretty quick. I'd imagine they wouldn't want to send 22 year olds fresh out of training right into the field, so Molly would be doing less dangerous assignments around the Auror office for a while. Once she finally does get more field work, she turns out to have some pretty rotten luck, because her cases have all been dead ends. I think she just hasn't gotten a chance to really prove herself, and that's affected the types of assignments she's been given. She has to show that she can really handle the job.
I think since being an Auror is so dangerous, there'd be no harm in making sure new Aurors are really ready before they're sent out to catch dark wizards, which is why I thought she'd be a little on the older side. I have thought about making her a little younger (26 maybe?) so this definitely made me consider that again.
Thank you so much for the review. You gave me some really great feedback, and I really appreciate it!
Cassie :)

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Review #8, by MuggleMaybe Five

9th September 2015:
Hi Cassie! I'm here for the swap :)

I know I said I wanted to read fluff, but when I realized you'd updated Risk I couldn't pass it up!

I really love Molly and Kiernan's friendship. They work really well together and have a nice balance. All the dialogue in your writing is excellent - I can really *hear* it, if you know what I mean - but the dialogue between them is especially outstanding.

I've never been very good at predicting endings, so maybe I'm just being slow, but I have no idea how this mystery will wrap up. I can't believe there are only a few more chapters! I was so happy to get a little more info in this most recent letter! (Even if it wasn't actually that helpful, it was still fun to read.) I can just imagine that after the mystery is solved, I'll go back and read this and it will seem so obvious, but right now I'm 100% stumped!

I really wish I was Hermione's niece!

Thanks so much for the swap, dear!
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hi Renee!
I love Molly and Kiernan together. They're really great friends, and I think that translates into their work. They just know each other well, and that makes it easy for them to work together, even when doing something so difficult/potentially dangerous as trying to catch bad guys. Haha.
I'm glad you can't predict what's going to happen! I'm nervous that it's going to be easy for people to figure out, so it's reassuring to hear that I've done a good job making things tricky.
Thank you so much for the swap, and for leaving such a lovely review!
Cassie :)

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Review #9, by Shadowkat Five

10th August 2015:
So, here really late for the swap. I was really excited when I realized you updated this, so I had to come over to see.

Dead end once more. Of course, I doubt that the killer would leave anything that would make it easy to be found. Not on purpose, at least. Molly would certainly be getting irritated. Not being able to stop a psycho killer does that to you.

I feel like this will end up having something to do with the man from the notes being the last of his family line. You said there won't be many chapters, right? Kinda sad about that part, but at least the pieces will fall into place.

I want to leave a longer review, but for some reason the last two days I've been trying to, I haven't been able to focus on anything. I really liked it though, and I'm so sorry it's taken so long. I know this is kinda a sucky review, especially compared to the one you gave me. My brain just isn't working, and again I'm really sorry.

Author's Response: Hello!
Molly is getting frustrated not only because she wants to stop the killings that are happening, but also because this is her first real chance to prove that she can do this. She wants to show everyone that she has what it takes to be a good Auror.
There should only be a few more chapters, although I'm not sure of the exact number.
Thank you so much for sticking with this story, and for the lovely review!
Cassie :)

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Review #10, by MuggleMaybe Four

10th July 2015:
The plot thickens!
The mystery is moving along nicely! In this chapter, I really like how Molly interacts with her family. I particularly like your characterization of Ron.
I also thought the interviews were well done. I'm glad you had fun writing them!

There are a few things I hope I'll get to see more of in future chapters. I would like to see more of Molly's life outside of work, and her relationships. And, I would like to see an intense action scene.
Anyway, I'm sure the next chapter will be brilliant!

*adds to Currently Reading list*

Author's Response: Hi there!
I'm glad you like the pace of this story. I'm really trying to lay out things slowly, so you guys don't figure out who's behind everything!
I loved writing the scene with Ron and Hermione. I feel like they'd be great parents, so of course they'd be really great with their nieces and nephews, too.
The interviews were a hoot to write. I just loved coming up with Sophie and Bradley! They're stereotypical rich kids. Haha.
I want to talk more about Molly's life outside of her job, so I'll work on bringing more of that into future chapters.
Thank you so much for these reviews! And I'm thrilled that you're enjoying this story so much!
Cassie :)

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Review #11, by MuggleMaybe Three

10th July 2015:
Another excellent chapter!
Kiernan is an interesting character. He seems to leap of the page. Also, there seems to be something of a spark between him and Molly... ;) (Or maybe that's just wishful thinking?)

I am already desperate to know how the mystery ends. I want to stay up all night reading, but I can't with a WIP! Sadness!

Author's Response: Hello again!
I love writing Kiernan. He's just so upbeat, which I think is needed, since this story is about a serial killer. There's nothing between him and Molly, they're just really good friends.
I'm so glad you're already so invested in the story! Thank you for the review!
Cassie :)

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Review #12, by MuggleMaybe One

10th July 2015:
First of all, the opening to this chapter is genius! I like the idea of interweaving the narratives like that. However, it's a challenging approach to take as a writer. You execute it extraordinarily well! The language reads smoothly, and yet there are clearly two voices present. You wrote the scenes in a way that made them feel parallel. You also managed to get me immediately invested in the mystery. One element in writing mysteries is to find the right balance between the story within the crime and the story outside the crime, and you've done that expertly with this opening.

Molly's personality doesn't seem much like her father's. On the other hand, she comes across as intelligent, determined, and somewhat insecure. Those are definitely "Percy" traits! For me both of these things are positives. I don't want to read about a character like Percy, because frankly I find him annoying. But I still want Molly to be believable as his daughter, and she is.

Really enjoying it so far, and looking forward to chapter 2!

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you liked how I started this chapter! I've never written a mystery before, so I really wanted to start it off with a chapter chock-full of clues and things left open ended so the readers have questions and are intrigued. So it's a relief to hear that you liked the opening so much!
Molly really isn't that much like Percy. I think she mostly takes after her mother. But, like you said, she definitely has inherited some traits from her father, too!
Thank you so much for this review! It was so sweet!
Cassie :)

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Review #13, by TreacleTart Four

1st June 2015:
Hi Cassie!

I'm here for our review swap!

I'm so excited that there's a new chapter as I've really been enjoying this story so far. When I clicked on it, I couldn't wait to see what Molly and Kiernan would come up against next.

I thought it was nice to have Molly go to Hermione for help. I mean she is the brightest witch of her age, so it would only be natural that she might know something that others would miss. I know she didn't have any information at this point, but I bet she finds something down the road.

It's interesting that this guy is dating all of these women. It sounds very much like he's trying to replicate his relationship with Genevieve...which is slightly creepy when you think about it because that means he must be a couple hundred years old at least. That leaves me with tons of questions. Is he a vampire? Is he Nicholas Flamel? How is this guy alive?

Just a touch of CC. I did notice a few typos while reading, but they're all very small.

They still didn't have any knew leads new leads

so we starting to fight about something started to fight

She said her wrote her love letters he wrote her

This was another excellent chapter. Now hurry up and write more because I want to know what happens next! And make sure to PM me when it's up because I will definitely come R&R it.


Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!
For some reason, I just imagine Molly being very close with Hermione and Ron. And, like you said, Hermione is the brightest witch of her age, and she would probably have some ideas for what Molly should do about her case.
Those are some interesting theories... But you'll just have to wait and see! Haha.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I'll post on the forums when there's a new chapter up, but I have some other WIPs to update, so it might be a little while before I update this again. Thank you for the review!
Cassie :)

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Review #14, by Shadowkat Three

2nd May 2015:
Okay, so I understand all the victims look like the girl from the 1800's, and are rich like her, too. One was married with relationship problems and meet up with family members often, facts which could very well tie tightly in with this, while the other had no family. Both look the same, yet their lives relationship wise are vastly different. I think an idea is forming in my head. Can't wait to see if I'm right! (And ok should be okay.)

Author's Response: Hello again!
Thank you so much for coming back for chapter 3! I can't wait to hear if your theories are right!
Cassie :)

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Review #15, by Shadowkat Two

2nd May 2015:
Well, I've come up with about five different ideas now, but I'm not sure exactly how plausible they are. Guess we're going to see!

Author's Response: Ideas are good! But it'll be a while before you get some real clues... Thanks for reading chapter 2!
Cassie :)

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Review #16, by Shadowkat One

2nd May 2015:
Wow, this is extremely interesting! I normally don't read many next-gen stories, but this caught my attention. I absolutely love mystery stories, and I had to read it!

You did a very good job at description and flow, like the rest of your stories I've looked at, and the characterization was extremely realistic. Already I feel drawn to Molly. I'd certainly be coming back to this!

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! It's really nice to hear that you like the way I write Molly, and that you liked the descriptions and the flow of this chapter.
Thank you so much for the review!
Cassie :)

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Review #17, by TreacleTart Three

27th April 2015:
Hey Cassie,

I'm here for our review swap!

Having read the other two chapters of this story, I was excited to see what would happen in this one. I love a good mystery, so this is right up my alley.

This story really feels like a script for a cop show. We have the young detective out to prove herself and her older, more experienced partner leading the way. I have the feeling that Molly will definitely prove that she's not a worthless rookie.

The circumstances of the deaths they are investigating are very mysterious! I can't imagine why someone would go through the trouble of causing all of this bruising when a simple avada kedavara would kill them without any risk of DNA. I feel like there has to be something very personal about this for the murderer. Some specific reason why he does it this way!

Overall, the writing is good. The plot continues along smoothly and we got a chance to see Kiernan and Molly's personalities develop a bit more.

I did notice one tiny typo, but it's a bit nitpicky. "The only think you'll" should be "the only thing"

Another solid chapter! Please, hurry up and write some more! I can't wait to see where this goes.


Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!
I'm so glad you're enjoying this story! Molly is definitely eager to prove herself, especially when she comes from a family that includes such well-known Aurors. She wants to show that she can do what she needs to do, and isn't just getting cases because of who she's related to, but she still has a lot to learn.
I'm hoping to keep the circumstances mysterious enough that no one figures out who the killer is before I reveal it! I've never written a mystery like this before, so I'm trying to be really careful in how I reveal clues and pieces of the puzzle.
Thank you so much for the review swap! I'm glad you're enjoying this story!
Cassie :)

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Review #18, by SilentConfession One

9th April 2015:

I'm here for your review! This is such an interesting start! I really like how it features Molly. She's one of my favourite next gen's to read and write about. I like how you've started this story with her clearly as the underdog here. She's had no real cases. Has no idea what to do in a situation like this one. I'm sure it will bring a lot of interesting conversations about whether she has what it takes to be an Auror. As a character I think she's pretty good. She seems to have that young flare for adventure still in her. Still feels hopeful alike she's just got out of Hogwarts.

The beginning of the story was done really interestingly too. Switching from one character to the other. It was a neat juxtaposition between the two people. I wonder if this format will continue in the chapters to come and who you would approach it if you do!

I'm definitely curious about how you are going to mash the present and past together. Molly definitely has a lot on her plate for a first case. I can easily see how it could either make or break her career, depending on the outcome of the story.

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and that you liked how I'm writing Molly! I've never written her before, and I read her as being very stuffy a lot of the time, so I wanted to do something different.
I'm glad you thought the beginning worked! When I first wrote it, I almost didn't keep it in the story, because I wasn't sure how it flowed, but hearing that it worked well makes me glad that I kept it!
Thank you so much for the review!
Cassie :)

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Review #19, by Babbitty Rabbitty One

2nd April 2015:
Ooh, a magical mystery, complete with one of the lesser-examined Next Gen characters and a letter from Victorian times. (So, assuming Molly is about the same age as her cousins, the letter would have to be what, ~140 years old?)

Mysteries can be hard to write, because you have to hook the readers and make sure they can follow along without giving too much away too early. Your idea is definitely interesting and has the potential to be great. So far, Molly seems like an interesting character with some similarities to her father (ex. career choice, clearly she's intelligent, dedication) and I would like to get to know more about her. It is hard to comment on not giving away too much this early, because of course you haven't yet!

The clues are building up nicely... is she really from this time period? Was she being abused before? Did they not intend to kill her? Why beat her up and use magic? Why did she have the letter? Usually, I would say that having so many questions this early could be frustrating but in this genre it definitely works as a hook.

A very nice first chapter.

Yours truly,

Babbitty Rabbitty

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this and like Molly's character so far! She's definitely very dedicated to this case, and really wants to prove herself by solving it.
I'm glad the first chapter was able to draw you in without giving too much away! That's exactly what I'd hoped for!
Thank for you the lovely review!
Cassie :)

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Review #20, by TreacleTart Two

22nd March 2015:
Hello Again!

So to make up for taking so long getting to our review swap, I though I'd read and review your second chapter as well!

First off, the part that confused me in the beginning of the first chapter was clarified in this chapter. It wasn't Molly leaving. It was Genevieve and she was leaving Charles.

Now that I know what's going on the mystery seems even more intense. We have a serial killer who has love letters from hundreds of years previous. Does he kill these women because they remind him of Genevieve? Did Charles travel through time to exact revenge? I have so many questions!

The flashback to Molly telling her family about becoming an Auror helped me understand Molly a bit better. The only question I have is how old is Molly supposed to be in the flashback because her reaction to her parents comes off as a bit juvenile. It seemed more appropriate for a 13 year old girl than a grown woman.

I can't believe there is a second body within three days! This serial killer sure is moving quickly! I hope Molly and Kiernan can catch a break before he strikes again! I'm dying to know why he assaults them first and then kills them with magic.

Another solid chapter! Thanks for a good read!


Author's Response: Hi again!
Questions are good at this point! Hopefully I'll answer just enough to keep you interested as the story goes along!
The flashback takes place when Molly is fifteen. I think I say that in there somewhere, but if not, I'll go back and add her age to clarify.
Thank you so much for another great review!
Cassie :)

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Review #21, by TreacleTart One

22nd March 2015:
Hello there!

I'm here for our review swap finally! I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to get to it yesterday. I got stuck at work way later than I intended. Anyways, here I am now!

So I was immediately drawn to this story because I love suspense and mystery. It's one of my favorite things to write and by far one of my favorite things to read.

I thought the way you characterized Molly was good. She seems young, hopeful, and excited about receiving an opportunity to work on a real case for the first time. Her interactions with her boss and co-workers seemed quite natural for someone in their early to mid 20s.

The mystery was built pretty quickly. We had a pretty, rich dead girl who has been physically beaten before being magically killed. Sounds like a crime of passion to me. Perhaps an ex-lover who was mad that she was moving on? I'm really curious to see where you take this and how she solves it.

If I'm being completely honest, I found the first few paragraphs slightly confusing. I was unsure of whether she was leaving her mom's house or a home she shared with a lover. Maybe that gets clarified in chapters to come. It's just on this initial reading, I felt a bit lost.

Also, there were a few typos within the story...mainly things that look to be accidents. At one point you typed "Nave" instead of "Have", but it's really just me nitpicking.

All in all, a really great start to the story. I can't wait to see what happened to this girl.
Thanks for swapping with me!


Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!
I'm glad you liked Molly! I'd never written her before this, and don't read much of her, so it was a really fun chance for me to try and write someone new.
The first few chapters will become clear as the story goes on! However, I will tell you that she is leaving her parents house.
Thanks for pointing out the typos! I tend to type really quickly when I get excited about a story, and then miss little things like those when I go back to proofread,
Thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!
Cassie :)

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Review #22, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Two

23rd December 2014:
Oh, Percy. To say such things. Understandable, I know, for a parent to want to protect their child. But they just can't keep us from everything. I'm glad Harry and Ron supported her. Yes, they are - or were? - Aurors, so are likely to be biased, but they are also family, so I can imagine them making sure she knows everything about everything.

Gah, I need to know the connection between the past and the present. Who are these people? What is it with these letters? I'm so excited! So forgive the severe amount of impatience. :P

I'm hooked, Cassie. Hooked! *waits for more*


Author's Response: I loved writing Percy! In my mind, his work obsession from when he was young turns into over-protective parenting when he gets a little older. I feel like he would see being a dad as his most important job and would want to protect his daughters from everything.
I'll admit that finding out the relevance of the letters is going to be very slow going, but some things have to remain mysteries for a while if I want to keep you all reading! Thank you for another great review!
Cassie :)

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Review #23, by TheHeirOfSlytherin One

23rd December 2014:

Oh, my God! I'm so excited for this! Mystery and history rolled into one. And I love that you've chosen Molly for this story. I'm already intrigued, with the mix of past and present at the beginning and the relevance of a letter with the dead girl. I wanna ask so many questions, but you probably can't answer them so I'm just gonna shush and read and wait semi-patiently. :D

I love Kiernan already (and his name).



Author's Response: Hello Sam!
I'd never written Molly before this but once I had the idea to make her the center of this story, I couldn't see it going any other way! Haha.
You'll find out more about the letters as the story goes on, I promise! Also, I love Kiernan, too. I think he's one of my favorite original characters that I've ever written. Thank you for the sweet review!
Cassie :)

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Review #24, by Gabriella Hunter One

19th July 2014:

Its been a while since I've been able to stop by and I'm REALLY sorry but I've been oddly busy these past few weeks. And my internet connection doesn't like me...

On to this! I had been meaning to read this for a while but I never really had the time so I'm glad that I finally managed to give it a read. First of all, I really love your Molly! I had never imagined her as an Auror before and I don't think its been used very much in fanfiction so that in itself says a lot about her character. She's brave and dedicated and that's fantastic for a main character--I wonder what made her want to go into that field of work? Perhaps you'll go into more detail later? Also, can't wait to find out more about this case!

Its got me puzzled! I love a good murder/mystery too so I'm going to be waiting for the next chapter. The love letter from the 1800's really captured my attention, what was that all about and who was this dead girl? How many more victims are going to come?! D':

I'll admit that I was a little confused at the very beginning but I was able to see that it was a different POV. I think you could add those in a bit smoother or blend them in better while the main story is going on but other than that, I'm really excited about this!

On my end, I'm trying to get the latest chapter of Abandon up there and after that its back to A Force of Blaise! So, hope you don't mind waiting for a little while longer. D':

Much love,


Author's Response: HEY!
It's taken me so long to respond to this that I'm actually really embarrassed! I've just been SO busy lately that I haven't had time to do much of anything fun! But now I have a nice long break to catch up on reading and writing and answering reviews!
I'm so happy you liked the opening of this story! I'm really excited to work on it, because it's really different from anything I've done before. I'm a little nervous that I won't be able to pull it off, but we'll see. I'm also thrilled that you like what I did with Molly! I wanted her to be very independent, and to be her own person, and making her an Auror seemed to fit that very well. I hope you'll keep reading to find out more about the letter and the victim! Molly is going to be puzzling over this one for a while :)
Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review! I'll get over to read your stuff as soon as I can!
Cassie :)

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Review #25, by kenpo One

27th May 2014:
Hello! Here for our swap!

Since this is the first chapter, I'm going to look at your summary, as well.

I like the summary. You use a lot of sentence fragments, but it seems intentional. I'd maaaybe consider adjusting it to have complete sentences just because some readers might say "Hmm... was that intentional, or will the whole story be fragmented?"

If you can, I'd also eliminate the blank line between the banner (gorgeous, by the way) and the credit. I'd consider putting the credit in italics, but that's totally up to you.

Onto the story!!

I like it. If I wasn't doing this for a swap, I'd read on. It could be stronger, though. You say "house" three times, so you might want to take a look at it and see if you make it even more attention-grabbing. I'm a little confused as to why it's in italics, but I'm guess that'll become more clear.

You don't need a comma in the third paragraph, between "dark bedroom" and "as"

Oooo. Who is the other person? Why aren't they returning? I'm intrigued.

Once she had packed the reports she still needed to finish, which were followed by a pile of possible cases, she stuck her wand in her back pocket, and grabbed a piece of toast for breakfast, she was out the door and on her way to the Ministry.

This sentence doesn't jive right with me...

I'm really liking the story, though. I feel like I'm being ultra-critical, but that's because it's a first chapter, and I personally like to get a first chapter to the highest level possible.

Molly as an Auror! I don't know if I've ever seen that before! Nice, fresh take on a next gen mystery!

I'm guessing that her case has to do with the italic person?

I like the way you incorporated the description of her boss in with the rest of the story. It's also a nice amount of description. I have a vague picture in my head, and I'm able to fill in the details.

Whoops! I tried to come down and leave comments as I read, but this is really interesting. One thing that I had a little bit of an issue with was that Molly knew from looking at her that she was attacked by a male. I think that sort of assessment would probably have to wait until x-rays (or... magic equivalent)

And then the date should be 2 June, not June 2.

Charles! We already knew a Charles. So is the dead girl Genevieve? Even though she as another identity?

I think this was a really good first chapter. You got right into the action, which was nice. You've given us a little bit of information, but not enough that I have any idea what's going on.

Good job!!


Author's Response: Hi Georgia!
Thank you so much for such a great review! Your suggestions were really helpful, and I edited some of the things you pointed out so they flow better.
I'm really pleased you liked this chapter! It's my first time writing a story like this, so I was really nervous about putting this up. The fact that you enjoyed it and that it intrigued you is really reassuring! Thank you for the wonderful review!
Cassie :)

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