Reading Reviews for It Is the Colour of Joy
  
20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Secret Cupid You Smile...

15th February 2016:
Oh, I didn't realize this was a sequel to the one I just read, but I'm so glad it is! I wanted to know more of Draco and Astoria's story.

I like that this part was told from her point of view. And I really like that she is pretty much nothing like what I expected. I've always kind of imagined Astoria to be a little cold and distant, in fitting with the personalities of the Malfoys we already know. But somehow this is much nicer - the thought that Draco really did change and the reason was this unexpected girl who likes sweet things and roses and warm colors.

Not many people can pull off a good second person story, but this was exceptional. With every story I read of yours, I am more in awe of your talent and ability to use words to paint pictures. Especially these short stories where you have very few words to work with, but manage to write something with so much depth and feeling.

Great job!

Author's Response: Wow! That's kind of lucky that you clicked on it next by accident! Woohoo for randomness!

Astoria was a lot of fun to write. I basically turned warm sunshine into a person and named her Astoria Greengrass.

This was my first second person story! I was very nervous about writing it because second person is WEIRD. And your flattery is making me flail around on the floor in incoherence. Thanks so much for all the loveliness :) *squishes*


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Review #2, by rennycake You Smile...

26th January 2015:
Hi!! I'm here for the Hot seat!! I saw that you have alot of stories on your page but I had to pick this one because I absolutely luv Draco Malfoy and I luv all stories of him (any ship). This was so beautiful!! I luv the way you wrote him and Astoria and I luv the part where he proposed!! That was so sweet! The last section seriously made me cry, it was so beaitful. Thank u for writing this!!

Author's Response: Hola! The explosion has been a recent one, although when I think about it, I have been on the archives since 2011, which is a really long time... But yes, Draco is an interesting character to write. I had fun writing him a proper love story. I'm so happy that you enjoyed it - especially the proposal since that was the section of the story about which I was most concerned. And aww! I hope it was happy tears? They were supposed to be happy tears...

Thanks so much for the wonderful review :)


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Review #3, by Maelody You Smile...

20th January 2015:
How crazy difficult was it to keep the tenses right? I hate straying from my norm, but yet it's so fun to challenge one's self, isn't it? :D

I'm so happy to see that Every Song Must End has a sequel (though it even works to read this one first either way). It adds to the beauty of it. :3

This was one of those 'made me tingle all over' pieces. I enjoyed every second of it and audibly squealed when she found out she was pregnant at the end! *squee!* See?

I think my favorite scene was the proposal. It was just too cute. Though I will admit, I was just a tad bit confused because at first I thought she meant that they met and talked where his story ended, but then never saw one another again until he asked her to dinner and proposed. I got it eventually, and it may just be me (it is very likely just me), but I found it a bit confusing. Then again 501 words is a pretty big deal. ;)

This one was sweet, and I honestly thing you couldn't have gotten a better prompt for this one! Light red? That is perfect for so many emotions it's not even fair! ;)

Lovely, as always, dear. I'm going to go off and read some more from you! :D

~Mae

Author's Response: CRAZY CRAZY DIFFICULT. I'm terrible at tenses usually, and then I kept changing them on purpose in this story. I must've been mad to do it!

I hoped that both the stories could stand on their own, but I wanted to write a sequel to Every Song Must End, especially since I'd said that a new song had begun at the end of that story. It felt to me as if there was more to tell - but not for Draco.

I wasn't planning on that particular reveal at the end, so I surprised even myself. But as I was writing the ending I was like, SHE HAS TO BE PREGNANT. THIS IS THE THING THAT WILL KILL EVERYONE BECAUSE OF ALL THE FLUFF.

The proposal was also really adorable, although I felt that it might have been a little out of character for Draco. But I rationalised it by focusing on Astoria, and saying to myself that love makes fools of us all - why should Draco be immune?

Oh, I can see how that scene might have read as very confusing. I think it's the one part of the story that relies very heavily on the prequel - and remembering all its tiny details. Thanks for letting me know, though. I'll look into it.

I did get super lucky with this prompt. And this challenge was a lot of fun. Thanks so much for the lovely review, as always :)


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Review #4, by EnigmaticEyes16 You Smile...

30th September 2014:
Hi! I am here for the Slytherin Review
Exchange! I still cannot believe I almost
forgot to do this, but I am finally here.

This was a very interesting little one-shot. I
did read your other story, This Song Must End,
since it was a companion piece to this, and
they were both very short, so I figured why
not. And I thought the two stories complimented
each other very well, giving us both Draco and
Astoria's perspectives.

And I have to say that I feel like this story
says a lot for being so short. Although I do
think it would be an interesting story to
possibly elaborate on in a longer length if you
ever wanted to.

I do love the shortness and brevity of it
though, the short sentences and one sentence
paragraphs made it very easy to read and follow
the storyline. I also liked how you
incorporated the color light red from the
beginning to end, making it her favorite color
and the color the potion turned to tell her she
was pregnant.

All in all, I thought this story was very sweet
and endearing. I love the line where she says
Draco practically lunged at her when she said
yes to his proposal. And even though they're
lives aren't perfect they are clearly very
happy with each other, and sometimes that's all
that really matters.

You did a great job with this, and thank you so
much for doing the exchange with me.

xxNix

Author's Response: That's cool! I almost forgot as well, so no worries!

I'm glad you felt that the two stories worked well together as a set. I wrote them quite far apart, so I was worried that the styles might be too different.

I did toy with making this story longer. I do want to know what happens with these two, so that might be on the cards sometime in the future... I don't know, but exciting stuff all the same!

My biggest worry with this story is that I go overboard with the colour. I literally included it in every single place I could without making it ridiculously obvious. I'm happy that it worked though!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I had fun doing the exchange!


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Review #5, by Chazzie You Smile...

20th August 2014:
Hi again :) I think I loved this even more than 'Every Song Must End' simply because of the second person. You've done a fantastic job with it!
The way you have incorporated the colour into the story is very imaginiative and interesting. I also love the way it connects to the prequel in subtle ways, such as them going back to the coffee shop and the 'bitter but sweet' way Astoria likes her coffee. And she is a healer, which seems perfect for the Astoria you have created. You have really described the characters in such a way that they become rather 3D to me, in both this and the previous one. I also like the no dialogue, simply because you have worked extra hard to compensate with descriptions for the lack of speech.
It was brilliant, I really enjoyed this!
Lottie

Author's Response: It's hard for me to pick a favourite between the two. They both hold a special place in my heart. And I'm so happy that the second person worked so well! I've never written in second person before, so that was fun!

I was a bit worried that I'd gone overboard with the colour. I basically included it in every single place I could without making it too obvious that I was doing it. And yes! Draco can be a sweetie, and I felt that Astoria being a healer was appropriate. I'm really so happy that you liked this story. Thanks so much for the lovely review!


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Review #6, by Gladis Gudgeon You Smile...

3rd August 2014:
Review Tag
The second person felt a little forced at the beginning, but it became interesting by the end. I liked the poetic style and the repetition of the color red. It captured the emotion very well. It felt like it needed just a little something else, but it was very good writing. Stories like this can become hopelessly confusing. 8/10
Gladis Gudgeon

Author's Response: Hello!

I've never written second person before so it's completely understandable why it read as a little forced at the start. I hope it became easier to read as I became more comfortable with it! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing :)


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Review #7, by TidalDragon You Smile...

7th July 2014:
Howdy!

I thought this piece was really interesting in terms of style and structure. This challenge has really set off a rash of second-person stories, but yours was different. You kept everything very streamlined and simplified, but the words and ideas you chose to express still resonated and had impact. By using a dual focus (switching between Astoria and Draco), you also developed the phases of their relationship nicely before having them really come together in the longer final stretch.

The other thing I also liked was how you developed the connection between Draco and Astoria in fine details. Often when people attempt this I think it reads too literal - there's just not enough "showing". But you chose your words and phrasing carefully enough that your story didn't feel that way. On the contrary it felt like a snapshot journey of moments, feelings, and observations inexorably leading to the couple's joining. You did a really good job with that.

Thanks for sharing!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Heya!

This challenge has been so fantastic in that way, though. I don't read much second person, and I've never written it, but this gave me the perfect opportunity to try something new! I'm glad that you felt the word choice was good. It becomes so much more important when you don't include other things like description and dialogue.

I understand what you mean about writing couples. I think of couples that way as well. But I very consciously didn't do that with Draco and Astoria. They've always been a very "details" kind of couple in my head. I imagine it was the little things that counted the most.

Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #8, by marauderfan You Smile...

13th June 2014:
Tag!

For your first time writing second person, you did an amazing job! I really like second person because of the different styles that it promotes, and this was so simple and so beautiful. It's like little snapshots of a blossoming love as Astoria heals Draco who is broken from the war, as he can return to being happy again because of her.

The end is lovely too, how it's just normal-person things that are their main concerns in life now, like bills, and a baby, aww. In a really subtle way you've showed how Astoria has brought Draco from this unfeeling, stagnant victim with PTSD to a normal, joyful person. And everything you mention is joyful, but still gives the idea of less joyful things in the past, the subtlety is really good here. Well done incorporating the colour red, too.

The flow of this, much like in Every Song Must End, was like poetry. So simple and so beautiful, each line its own thought and imagery. Also, congratulations on using no dialogue or apostrophes and only 501 words. It's cool to set a challenge like that for yourself (in addition to the three other challenges this was written for) so wow, nicely done! This was a lovely read.

Author's Response: Aww! *dies of blushing too much* Thank you so much! I was so nervous posting this, but I'm just floored by all the positive feedback I've received. You're absolutely right in saying that second person encourages different styles. Writing this was quite different to how I write in first and third person.

I wanted to highlight how after the war, life returned to normal for people. They were scarred and hurt sure, but life goes on. Bills need paying, and excitement over babies needs to be a source of endless fluff! Astoria really has changed Draco for the better - I'm glad you feel the same way!

Another accidental poetic piece! Woohoo! Surprisingly dialogue was not a difficult challenge to incorporate - banning apostrophes was. Apostrophes are everywhere! EVERYWHERE I TELL YOU.

Thank you for the lovely review :)


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Review #9, by HEG You Smile...

13th June 2014:
Wow, this seriously is so cool! Everyone is doing second person PoV which is definitly good because I love it. I don't think it has ever been set out like this before. It is actually very effective. I think you have made good use of The Colour and Emotion challenge because you have seriously produced an excellent piece of work here! Good luck in your challenges! I would have said that it was stilted the whole way through but you have turned that stiltedness from a bad thing to a good thing. My favourite bit was the last section. Well written, well done.

Author's Response: Second person has really taken off on the archives! I'm quite happy about this, too. This is the first story I've written in second person, so I was quite nervous about it. I'm glad that you liked it!

Thank you so much for your wonderful review :)


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Review #10, by randomwriter You Smile...

26th May 2014:
Hello :) I swear, I thought I had reviewed this, but it turns out that I haven't. But not a problem at all, because I just got to re-read it ^_^ I know that I should probably review one of your other fics that I'm follwoing, but having entered two of these challenges myself, I was curious to see what you'd come up with!

What I really, absolutely adored was the flow of this piece. I think it read like poetry. It was rhythmic and entrancing. As a huge fan of poetry, I was immediately drawn in and I remained hooked from start to finish. The flow was incredible, honestly!

This story was so incredibly sweet. It filled me with all those warm and fuzzy feelings. I have found that certainly have a knack for writing fluff and romance. I always enjoy your stories because these aspects are so well done! This one shot was just oozing happiness. I found myself smiling throughout. It was extremely cute :)

I love how Astoria 'healed' Draco. I suppose he was fairly disturbed after the war and he love must have had a huge impact on him, going by this story. It was a really nice transition, seeing him in this light, cured by Astoria's loving touch. I also loved the slightly darker element you added by bringing in the bit about his recurring nightmares. I suppose escaping them is no easy feat even when you have the power of love by your side. The addition of those nightmares really added a new dimension to the story and made it more realistic.

I enjoyed the subtlety. Your fic was really gentle and mellow in a way. The prominence of the colour 'Red' was so evident, yet you never brought it through in such a way that it seemed forced.

I love the language you've used to write this. The simplicity really works in a story like this where you don't want to take away the focus from the basics of their relationship. The language served in telling the tale in a sweet and simple manner. I really thought that was smart choice :)

I love how you managed to depict their entire relationship. You showed the reader's important milestones in their lives and didn't restrict it to one or two aspects. I'm impressed with how you managed to capture so many moments so well in so few words. The fact that this was just 500 words didn't take away anything from the beauty of this story. In fact it only enhanced it!

You would talk... He would talk... This bit, with the repetition showed some sort of balance in their relationship. It showed us that they both slowly, but surely fell in love with each other. It wasn't one sided in any way. I loved this part. The repetition made it infinitely fluffier, happier and cuter!

The ending was such fabulous tie in. Using the colour as the colour of the potion was so smart, really. Another instance where your subtlety simply shines through. I felt really happy when I read that :) It was a really nice one-shot and it did wonders to my mood for sure!

Before I end the review, I have to tell you that I remember your companion piece, and I think this complements it very well indeed. Great job. I truly enjoyed your story :)

Author's Response: Wow. Okay. I've been avoiding replying to this review because its awesomeness intimidates me. Also because I like rereading it as it makes me feel all warm and fluffy inside ^.^ I'm very happy that you chose to read this fic - to be honest, I don't mind which fics people review. Reviews are wonderful to receive all the time!

That's so very kind of you to say! My real tries at poetry have been epic fails, so my two accidentally poetic pieces make me incredibly happy! I wrote this piece very quickly though, so I'm glad it doesn't read as... rushed.

ESME was quite angst-filled and dark, and I wanted this companion story to complement it, so I was a happy camper when I got light red and joy for the Colours and Emotions Challenge. It was as if that prompt had been designed for this story. Fluff and romance are the genres that run through my veins. I like making people feel all warm and fuzzy! I'm glad I succeeded :D

Astoria "healing" Draco is the major theme I carried over from ESME. It's something I don't go into that much in that story, but it seemed like a good topic to explore here. It forms so much of their relationship. Draco falls in love with her because of her acceptance of him as he is, and that speaks to him deeply. I wanted to see what it was like from Astoria's point of view. I'd be rather daunted to be in her shoes! And time heals all wounds, but the scars remain. I didn't want to forget the scars, ergo Draco's nightmares.

Oh, thank goodness! I'm so glad the colour doesn't read as being overboard! I basically shoved it in any place I could! I felt as if I was being so obvious with it, but I felt as if the challenge demanded it. And it's a nice colour - so versatile!

I'm happy that you found the language to work! I feel as if I have avoiding writing description down to an art form...

As my second 500-word story, I've found I actually really enjoy writing them. There's a different kind of pressure involved, but it works as motivation for me. There should be more 500-word stories!

Yes! That paragraph was specifically written to illustrate that their relationship was equal. I was worried that Draco's love and admiration comes across as a little... objectifying, so I wanted to illustrate that no, Astoria is a real person to him, and that her feelings are just as strong as his, in her own way. I was giggling to myself at how ridiculously cute and sappy it sounded as I wrote it!

Another example of "how many things can be light red?"! And babies are always cute!

Thanks so much for this incredibly lovely review! Excuse me while I go blush profusely in the corner.


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Review #11, by Lululuna You Smile...

26th May 2014:
Hello! :)

This was so sweet! I love fluffy stories like this, though it did have the hint of darkness with mentioning how Draco would still have nightmares from the war. Their relationship is so sweet and lovely here, and it really made me love your Astoria as she just seems like such a kind person who brings joy.

The ending, with the potion being light red, was such a great detail in tying in the colour and pointing towards the future of the couple. I liked how subtle you were throughout the story, and how you did a lot of "showing not telling" and showed so much in only a few words. It did feel like a complete story and a great sequel.

The stylistic devices you used here are so interesting as well, I love it. :) It's really inspiring that you can say so much and I love how the story reads so poetically like ESME (ooh cool acronym) does as well.

NIcely done, I really enjoyed reading this story! :)

Author's Response: I love writing fluffy stories like this (that must be so evident by now, since all of my page is just fluff, fluff, fluff!)! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it - I admire your writing so much, and your feedback is always such a pleasure to receive.

I wrote Astoria very much as someone Draco needed. She's kind and understanding and very good at giving, but she doesn't shy away from his darkness - she knows it's there, and that it will probably always be there. It was a very subtle way of connecting this story with the prequel - Draco truly believes he'll never recover from his past.

I basically took every chance I could to make something light red. I was actually really worried about it reading as if I was shoving the colour into people's faces. I couldn't resist mentioning Scorpius though! Totally setting myself up for a threequel...

*blushes* All the tenses, all the time! I'm so pleased that it reads in the same way as ESME, since I wrote that so long ago, and the way I write has changed since then.

Thanks so much for reading and all your loveliness! Please excuse me while I go flail over all this praise :)


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Review #12, by tribble You Smile...

7th May 2014:
Wow this was really rather brilliantly written and I loved every second of it! Second person is hard to write, trust me I know that, but this was really rather brilliantly done. Not too short and not too long, just the right length one-shot and something really great to read. The whole thing flowed well and was good at telling how they met and what happened, how he proposed and I loved every moment of it.

The way you started and finished was really nice as well, opened the one-shot up in a nice way and then closed it off at the end making it a really nice way to finish which ties everything together and also helped to show the emotions which I feel is really clever.

All in all this was a really nice one-shot and I loved it! Nice work x

Author's Response: *blushes* I'm very happy that you enjoyed it! I've never written second person before, so I cheated and wrote a very short piece, just to get my feet wet.

I'm so happy it flowed! That was something I struggled with in this piece, because I had all these discrete little events that I wanted to include, but it was difficult finding a way to connect them together into a coherent piece.

I'm very pleased you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing :)


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Review #13, by navyfail You Smile...

25th April 2014:
Hello! I'm here from the review swap. I usually don't read Draco/Astoria, though I don't know why since they are one of my favorite ships. The style of this one-shot is short and simple but it fits with the idea you are trying to get across. I also love it how her favorite color is 'light red' not just red. And how you managed to capture all the little memories and emotions in all the short senetences is amazing. My favorite part would have to be the last part since it is a change from the happy, fluffy beginning.

Overall, great one-shot! I enjoyed reading it. Really unique idea. :)

~Sama (~chocolate)

Author's Response: I don't read much of them either, and they're one of my faves, as well! It's weird how that works, no? Thanks for the lovely review. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It's way different from my usual style so feedback is always a little scary :)

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Review #14, by newgenerationlover You Smile...

25th April 2014:
Hello, here from the review swap!

Decided to read a story with not too many reviews... which pretty much just left me with this story. Haha! You sure do generate reviews! I might just have to go and look at your other stories if they are so loved ;).

So I read this one, then I read the first part one-shot, and then this one again to understand better the flow of things. I really enjoyed them both. I liked how they were by Draco's then Astoria's POVs. It was different, but a good different, being able to see each side of the story. I really love this one line you wrote: "You wondered what he was doing, letting his life become as dusty as the cafe where your lives intersect." That was some serious simile shi-... stuff you got there (gotta keep it 12+ ;) ). Me likey.

I liked how you didn't have Astoria be some perfect pure-blood and then them just going into a life of trust fund security with the occasional meeting with people that would rather not see like former death eaters. The ending was great! How you said they had nothing figured out but, in the end, they were in love, they were happy and they were going to have a baby. Yay! Good feels!

xoxo Mary

Author's Response: I have so many reviews only because I request them in the review request section... a lot. *slinks off in corner in shame* But feel free to take a peak at whatever takes your fancy! I hope you enjoy them, review-worthy or not ;)

I'm so glad you enjoyed both of them. I wanted to show the different ways they looked at the world. Draco's viewpoint is quite dark, until Astoria comes into his life, and even then it's still a little angsty. But with Astoria, she really does see the world through rose-tinted glasses, always seeing the best in people. And I'm glad you liked that line! It's one of my faves, too. All the similes!

She probably does have trust fund somewhere, but I guess I wanted to show that they were just two people trying to have normal lives together. I imagine that's the case especially for Draco, and obviously the Taylor Swift quote fit really well in there, so that was a happy bonus! And babies always complicate things, trust fund or not! I'm really happy that you have the good feels. I have done well :P


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Review #15, by luvinpadfoot You Smile...

23rd April 2014:
Wow. This story reads like poetry. It really does seem like one long narrative poem. It flows so beautifully through the different parts of their relationship, the courtship, marriage proposal, and finally her pregnancy. It all tied together so nicely with the three challenges. It seemed like an utterly seamless transition and I wouldn't have known it was for so many different challenges if you didn't mention it!

I liked that the tense changed throughout. That seemed natural for the type of story you were writing, but I wasn't sure if the section with the rosebush worked as well in present tense as it maybe would have in past. I liked that the present tense pieces were bookends for the rest of the story and seemed more in the now or something continuous rather than a specific moment in a memory. Just my thoughts, though. :)

Astoria's characterization is so incredibly strong here, even though it's so short and almost a piece of poetry instead of prose. What few words you do use, you use powerfully and every one is crucial to the story. Such a minimalist approach can be really difficult and you pulled it off so well!

I really got a sense of the light red color you were writing about even though you didn't directly describe it as more than just 'light red'. With all the examples and emotions you gave, I didn't need to hear anymore about it.

Reading this story was just lovely and I'm really glad I found it! Every word was enjoyable. Now I just have to go back and read the first one! (In case you were wondering, this works really well as a stand alone piece too.) Good luck on all your challenges! With this piece you'll be sure to blow them away!

Author's Response: Aww! Thank you so much! My actual attempts at poetry are terrible, so I'm always surprised when people say that this story and the companion piece read like poetry. I get all unnecessarily flattered *blushes*

I had so much fun with the tenses. Not only was it a great way to control the word count, but it was just a blast sitting there coming up with a different tense every time. Usually, tenses are the bane of my existence, but for once we were the unlikeliest of allies. And I know what you're talking about with the rosebush section. I wrote that paragraph in both tenses and chose the present simply because it was a better fit for the word count. Lazy writing - 1; me - 0.

Gosh! I'm so happy Astoria comes through. With the other one, it's totally okay because everyone knows Draco, so even if I skip bits and pieces it's not that big of a deal. But with Astoria, she's basically an OC, and so her characterisation had to be a bit more thorough in the same number of words. I'm glad that you felt it worked!

I actually thought I'd overused the colour! Basically, if the thing could be red, it was red! I'm really really happy that wasn't the case, however!

I hope you enjoy the first one as much as you did this! Thank you so much for your lovely review :)


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Review #16, by AlexFan You Smile...

21st April 2014:
It's been so long since I read Every Song Must End but I remember that I enjoyed it. What I don't remember however, was how it ended. It didn't really matter though because this one-shot was understandable even without the other one.

I liked the style in which you wrote it as well. It was clear and I don't know how everyone else felt about this but I liked that it was empty of other descriptions and that you kept it simple. I enjoyed the portrayal of Draco and Astoria's love, I thought it was really cute and it brought a smile to my face.

I especially loved the ending because it leaves the reader wondering how Draco and Astoria are going to deal with her pregnancy and some of the things that they might go through. It leaves the door open to possibilities and I think that's great.

Anyway, I liked how you incorporated the colour red into the story, it really worked as well and good luck in your challenges!

Author's Response: Every Song Must End just sort of... ends. I'm glad that this one works well as a stand-alone, though - that was the idea!

I really chicken out with this style. Description isn't really my strong point, so deliberately not using it as actually fantastic. I'm so happy that it still worked, because deliberate or not, there's still very little description. I wanted their love to be quite cute and fluffy, sort of mirroring what happens in Every Song Must End. But let's face it, it's because I really like writing fluff :P

Haha, it's good that you're still left asking questions. Both of the stories are supposed to be like "introductions" to their lives. This one is the beginning of parenthood!

Thanks so much for the review (and the good luck)!


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Review #17, by kenpo You Smile...

16th April 2014:
Hello!

I haven't read the other one, which I might want to do... but I still enjoyed this!!

I loved your approach to the colour challenge. I thought it was heavy enough in the story that it made an impact without seeming like you were saying "LOOK HERE'S THE COLOUR, SEE!?!?".

You know?

That might've not made any sense.

I also thought you fit in the lyrics very well. I don't listen to much of her, so I can tell you that the lyrics fit in well enough into the story that it didn't jump out as not fitting in with the rest of the narrative.

This was a triple challenge, wasn't it? Yes! The POV! You wrote it very well, I didn't even really notice it!

I mean, I did, but... it didn't jump out at me as not fitting in. Does that make sense? I'm try to compliment you!

I thought the structure of the story made it really rather nice and sweet. I really feel like I have an understanding of their relationship in less than 1000 words!

I also loved the repetition. It fit really well.
Really marvelous job.

-Georgia
-Huffleclaw/Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza-

Author's Response: That's alright if you haven't read the other one. I wrote them that they can stand alone. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

For five hundred (and one) words, I mention the colour A LOT, so I'm really happy that you don't find the colour shoved into your face. I tried to set the story up around it, to make it seem more natural.

I wrote that entire paragraph around those lyrics. Usually, I just slip lyrics in wherever I can fit them, but I really tried with this one! It's a good thing you didn't notice they were there :P

Thanks so much for the lovely review. And good luck with the Eggstravangza!


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Review #18, by patronus_charm You Smile...

10th April 2014:
Hi there, here to review your challenge entry!

I really loved the style choices in here with all the little segments making up the full story as it just gave it a much broader and wider view of Astoria and Dracoís lives. I remember your other one-shot about them which I really enjoyed, and now I think back to it, we really do get the full view of them both, and itís amazing how I feel as if I know theyíre story in about 1,000 words.

The use of repetition worked so well with the second person narrative, it was almost as if it wouldnít work nearly as well if it was in any other one. It just showed how much he meant to her, and it was almost as if she couldnít believe that Draco was with her hence all the repetition as it was as if she had to ensure her mind that this was really happening.

I thought you wrote Draco and Astoria so well together too, it really made me squee just seeing how cute they were. I think the cutest part was the ending how even though they had issues and problems, she was still so happy about being pregnant and you could sense her excitement as she told him. Gah, it was just so adorable and I donít think Iíve read anything so cute in a while.

Thank you for such a great entry, it was so much fun to read!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello! *waves*

Ah! Thank you! It was a little risky changing the style in each segment, but I was finding it exceptionally difficult to write in just one style in second person, so I kept switching. I must admit that I really enjoyed playing with tenses, since they're usually not my favourite thing. I'm glad that you feel as if you know Draco and Astoria's relationship. Everything is really vague in both stories!

I was pleasantly surprised by how well second person lends itself to repetition! I love using this device, and so I'll definitely be trying out second person again, almost solely for this reason. I like to think of their relationship is really very strong, but both of them feel as if it's quite delicate. It creates an interesting dynamic.

If you can believe it, they're even more adorable in my head. It's quite sickening, even for me. I'm really happy that you enjoyed reading this. Have fun reading the rest of the entries. I'm looking forward to taking a look myself :)


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Review #19, by Lostmyheart You Smile...

8th April 2014:
Hi :D

Wow. I really loved reading this story.
It was so simple and beautiful at the same time. I love reading Draco/Astoria stories and I really like your version of them. They seem sweet and care free after the war, just what they needed.

And it couldn't have ended more perfectly, they're going to be parents! Little Scorpius. It is nice to think of him as a love child.

Great story :)

Big hug,
Avi

Author's Response: Heya!

I love reading Draco/Astoria stories too! They're not a very popular ship, but I feel they have so much potential to be written in so many different ways. You can tell I was in a pretty sappy mood when I wrote this version!

I'm glad you liked the ending! It was super fun to write. It's so awkward when you get all these fluffy emotions from your own writing :P

Thanks so much for the lovely review :)


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Review #20, by alicia and anne You Smile...

8th April 2014:
Hey! I am here to leave a review. I remember seeing it in the queue :D

I really enjoyed reading this and I absolutely adored how you used the colour red and just how much of it was in your story. That's a lot of red. :P

I must admit that I just melted when he said that she healed his soul, it made me so very happy.

And the ending made me so happy.

This was really cute and sweet and I loved reading it. Brilliant!

Author's Response: Hello!

There is A LOT of red. It was part of the challenge, and I think I was a little zealous in my use of it. It was a lot of fun though, thinking up all the places red could possibly turn up.

That line about healing his soul is straight from the prequel. I wanted to connect the two stories together, and it was a good line to use in that context. I'm glad you liked it!

Thanks so much for this lovely review!


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