7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ravenclaw_princess Another Day's Sun

25th September 2015:
Hello. Here for you BvB review

Poor Remus. I know James and Sirius had good intentions, but unfortunately when it comes to those two, nothing ends well.

I like how the story began. You can just sense Remus thinking 'here we go again...what have Sirius and James done this time'. He seems quiet resigned to his fate, knowing that there is not much he can do when he has such a big secret to hide. Remus is exactly how I imagine him to be, calm yet direct. It just takes a small rise in the volume of his voice to tell the others to quit their games. His friends may do some silly things at times, but they do respect him.

I do feel sorry fr Remus. Leanne seems like his sort of girl, and the relationship was going at the pace and direction that he was comfortable with. James and Sirius probably wanted to give Remus a helping hand to get things progressing, but this is so out of Remus' character that it was sure to backfire. Remus was very calm and accepting of their story though. It was like he was watching the crash happen in slow motion.

Peter was well characterised. Always the first to snitch. I feel like sirius and James use him a little bit...I don't think they really ever considered Peter a fiend, he was more just someone they could get to do their dirty work and they knew that he'd do it for them because he kind of worshiped them.

Your story had me smiling at the antics of Sirius and James while at the same time feeling sorry for Remus. He doesn't seem to mind that much though. I guess he does have a lot on his mind, being a werewolf and all.

Well done. This was an enjoyable read.


 Report Review

Review #2, by Maelody Another Day's Sun

27th February 2014:
This is such an interesting take on the challenge! The first one I've seen a breakup happen, and it happens to poor Remmy! Haha, but it happened in such a hilarious way! The boys had good intentions, but boy does it show just how immature they were! This is an excellent piece over their adolescence and tomfoolery! :)

Remus is a trooper. He just sort of sits there, taking it in as James says he kissed Leanne and Sirius proceeds to say the two of them made out. He had so little problem with that compared to the way they talked/touched her! I hope he finds some nice payback, even if everything might be for the best. The detention threat was awesome, and very Remus! Yeah! Use those Prefect privileges! :D

I'm sort of sad. I liked Leanne! She seems like a very nice, well preserved female character for a story, something so like Remus, that it's upsetting his friends would think they needed spicing up. The way they met, and how they held their relationship was just so Remus! Though, at least he wasn't too worried about a relationship because of classes and such. Then again, I'm sure he's just coming up with excuses :(.

Why didn't Peter play Remus!? I'd have thought James would want to spend his Valentines Day chasing Lily, and maybe be somewhat childish about it. So the boys thought Remus' exact opposite would work as a great stand in? No wonder she thought he was drunk! XD Poor Remus, though. Having her break up with him for something he didn do that she thinks he did before bein told what was done in the first place! XD

This story was great! I think you caught the Marauder humor just right, and just how adolescent the boys could be. Not everything is thought out before it is for, and I think that was their big lesson in the night before haha! :D Also, with it benign Valentines Day, great job on keeping the focus on the intending character! With the ones you provided, it could have been very easy to bring up Lily and one of the so called many girls that swoon over Sirius. Seeing as how their always the romance spectrum haha. The pair of stories were amazingly done and super well thought out. I enjoyed reading both of them very much, with the small amount of confusion I mentioned in your partner's story (about when he actually turns) you two ddid wonderfully and I wish you guys the best of luck for the challenge! :D


 Report Review

Review #3, by nott theodore Another Day's Sun

21st February 2014:

I've just come from reading your partner's entry and I was really looking forward to seeing how this story ended. I think you did a really good job to continue the story and that your two pieces fit together really well.

Your characterisation of the Marauders was brilliant! I think you captured the friendship between them really well and that's the thing I always look for when I read about them, because I think their friendship is one of the most important things that JKR tried to illustrate about them in the books. I can definitely imagine Sirius, James and Peter doing something like this to try and help their friend out, but naturally with them it had to go wrong!

I felt really sorry for Remus through this as he was trying to find out what happened and then learnt what Leanne thought and that they ended up breaking up because of it. He was so excited about the date and so was she, so for it to end badly was sad, although I think maybe she wouldn't have lasted that long with him anyway if she can't cope with his friends!

I really liked the description in this and the melancholic ending really suited the piece. At least I can console myself with the fact that Remus and Tonks will end up together and they're meant to be!

Sian :)

 Report Review

Review #4, by Roots in Water Another Day's Sun

18th February 2014:
Hello! I'm just here returning your lovely review! (Thanks once again!)

Wow- this certainly took a different turn than I was expecting! I mean, poor James, Sirius and Peter had the best of intentions... But it ruined Remus' relationship! And he couldn't possibly explain "his" actions away without giving himself or his friends away... Because, from what I've read about Leanne, she'd just report them for stealing the polyjuice potion. Gah! It's a no-win situation. I really don't like those.

In James' defence, though, he didn't do anything too bad. Nothing overly offensive or anything- just something that Leanne wasn't expecting, something that she definitely wasn't expecting. Leanne and Remus probably weren't at that stage in their relationship yet.

Oh well. At least this way there's less of a heartbreak for Remus because we know that she would've had to disappear during the first wizarding war anyway in order to make room for Tonks later. Plus, Remus probably wasn't at a point in his life yet where he could accept the werewolf aspect enough to be in a committed romantic relationship. We know that it was still a block in his relationship with Tonks, twenty-some-odd years later.

Overall, I liked this one-shot. I think that you did a good job with writing this within the time we were given and it certainly was a different take on the theme of Romance! Great work! :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by HeyMrsPotter Another Day's Sun

18th February 2014:
Hello :D I just came from reading your partner's side of this story and couldn't wait to see how it turned out!

I really love that you have excellent continuation from the first half of the story, not just in the story itself but the writing style and how well you've captured the personalities of the marauders as individuals and as a group of close friends. I love love LOVE the idea that Sirius Peter and James would go to such extreme lengths and break so many rules just to help out their friend. But of course it would all have to go wrong! I really feel sorry for poor Remus (only made myself feel slightly better knowing he couldn't stay with Leanne anyway because he HAS to marry Tonks!)

The only small thing that confused me a little was that they stole the Polyjuice from Snape, as he was in the same year group as them and I would have thought it would have had to be stolen from a teacher? But it really was just a minor thing :)

The description in this is great, I could picture the scenes in the hospital wing perfectly, from Madame Pomfrey's frustration to Remus hiding under his duvet in embarrassment from his friends actions.

This was such a great entry, even with an unhappy ending for Remus, it was just pure lighthearted fun.

Dee :)

 Report Review

Review #6, by CambAngst Another Day's Sun

18th February 2014:
Tagging you from Review Tag!

I thought you had a really amusing premise for your story. There were plenty of reasons why poor Remus never would have been able to sustain much of a love life, given the limitations imposed by his condition. His friends obviously meant well, even though they screwed up the execution of the plan to a laughable extent. The very idea of James Potter trying to be Remus Lupin is absurd on the face of it, if anyone had bothered to stop and think about it. But absurd can also be funny, and your story had more than its fair share of funny mixed in with a very sad undertone of Remus's life.

Leanne gives Remus a tongue-lashing for the ages, especially when you consider what a polite, mind-mannered guy he is. He has nothing to defend himself with because he truly has no idea what's happened and to admit as much would create a serious possibility of revealing his condition. So he has no choice but to sit there and take the abuse. Poor guy!

I liked the way you wrote the very disjointed, frequently interrupted and highly-subject-to-interpretation storytelling technique of the other three Marauders. Remus's frustration with them felt perfectly natural, especially since he was fresh off of his transformation. James and Sirius made a great one-two act, even going so far as to finish one another's sentences at times. Peter was a bit more on the margins of the narrative, which fit well with the obviously limited role he played in the plan. All in all, that was a terrible thing because it's apparent that Peter would have done a much better job than James. These guys are such idiots at times!

The ending, I thought, was really melancholy. It's incredibly sad that Remus has given up on happiness to such an extent that he ends up feeling like this is all for the best.

I noticed one thing that read sort of awkwardly: "Seriously, why couldn't have Wormtail been me?" -- I think this would read better as "Seriously, why couldn't Wormtail have been me?"

Good job! This was a quick, enjoyable read.

 Report Review

Review #7, by Karou_Marauder Another Day's Sun

17th February 2014:
Aw, they broke up! Ah well, it fits with the story so it's okay.

It's always Peter they go for, isn't it? Your characterization of Peter is really good; he's got all the traits he has in canon. And I like how he's the only one that knows anything about Remus and Leanne.

Oooh, James messed up big time! That was a huge mistake. Yikes.

Haha. "At least she was giving him back the book." I think Remus isn't as in love with her as he says he is...

This is really great. I was laughing out loud at the date, which went absolutely wrong. I know I didn't read the original but this is at least as good, maybe even better. 10/10

Author's Response: HEY PARTNER! By the time you'd messaged me about this on the forum,I was asleep and dreaming.

I'm so relieved you think it's good and I'm glad I didn't go cuckoo around the time I was finishing up yesterday and messed things up. Hopefully the grammar worked out too because my brain wasn't working at full capacity by 4 am.

And, oh my God, I think Peter is the one I wrote best. He tiptoes that line between loyalty and betrayal, which was fun to write.

I agree about Remus and Leanne. They just liked the idea of each other more than the actual person.

I wanna thank you again for being absolutely brilliant and for giving me a chance to write the Marauders. The idea of getting them wrong always tantalised me, but here we are!

You're an awesome partner! Thanks for the review and for a great experience!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login