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Reading Reviews for The Elf and the Shoes
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Wanda Maker Untold Story

16th February 2014:
Well done! I enjoyed your little story very much.

Author's Response: Hi wanda, thankyou for taking the time to review! I am glad you enjoyed that littel heartwarmer :)


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Review #2, by MsErrol Untold Story

3rd December 2013:
aw, so sweet i just love it!

Author's Response: Aww thankyou so much for taking the time to review!
I like the happy sweet little story that one is. Makes me smile in a nice way :)
Thanks for the review!


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Review #3, by whatisnot Untold Story

25th November 2013:
A good story but you need to fill it out a bit, I'd like to read more but can't if it's not writen

Author's Response: hi thanks for the review! the bit that isnt wriiten - are you talking about the what happerned next ? or perhaps just more of the what is goin in on the story itself?
either way i appreciate your feedback ! thanlyou :)


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Review #4, by milominderbinder Unpaid Leave

3rd November 2013:
Heya! Here from review tag :)

Aww, this was incredibly sweet! I really love the premise of this story, adapting it from a fairy tale, and a fairy tale that is relatively uncommon as well, it gives this a really unique and original side. I also happen to love this fairytale, so that's a plus!

I think you have awesome characterisation here. You've really captured their voices and made it sound a lot like they speak and act in canon, which is something that's pretty hard, especially with Dobby. But I could really hear canon Dobby speaking like you've written him here, and bad character speech writing can really pull me out of a story so well done there!

Lucius made me really mad! But again, I think you captured his canon voice and actions really well, I could really picture him mocking Arthur like that.

Some of my favourite lines were:

Dobby was a forlorn creature, tap-dancing shoes held in one hand, a single, mouldy sock on one of his feet, wearing a dirty, torn pillowcase that was so worn it was almost threadbare. What hope was there for a creature like Dobby? Dobby was kind-hearted, good, generous and brave - just a little eccentric when it came to his methods.

^That was an amazing description of Dobby that I think captured him perfectly, and I really like the writing style there too.


Arthur felt his blood boil as he shoved his collection of plugs into his large box of assorted muggle artefacts, including a telephone, an electric fan, a pair of tap-dancing shoes, a two-way radio and large microwave that was quietly humming an unrecognisable tune.

^Again, I feel like that line captures Arthur so well! And I loved all the objects you had him packing :)

Dobbys voice was filled with awe, and he stood, a pair of tap-dancing shoes in his hands, staring at Mr Weasley with something bordering on reverence.

^That's just a lovely line with great description.

I really enjoyed reading this, well done! I shall embark on reading the rest of the chapters as soon as I have time, because I love this idea :D

~Maia

Author's Response: Hi Maia!
Thankyou for one of the 'most loveliest' reviews ever!
I... dont quite know what to say.
I will confess I had to go back and reread the story because you were quoting lines that I didnt recognise! apparently I did write them - they are there (but I had to check!)

... oh... words fail me. Thankyou.
Thankyou,
thankyou.


really. I think this is my favourite review. Ever.

and I then had to reread the rest of the story and picked up 2 typos that I hope you never get to see cause I will edit them out ASAP!



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Review #5, by 800 words of heaven Untold Story

3rd November 2013:
REVIEW TAG!

WHAT IS THE SECRET OF THE SNEAKERS? I WANT TO KNOW SO BAD OMG.

This is such a lovely end to the story! Molly and Arthur were wonderful, as usual. I love how you manage to show their relationship dynamic so well in so few words.

I teared up a little at the part where Arthur looks after the sneakers. It just made me sad because Dobby's gone, and time waits for no one... and I'm sure it wasn't supposed to be as sad as it was to me, but still - yay for emotions! On a more serious note, I love your ability to evoke such complex emotions. The end was just so bittersweet - and then there was that cliffhanger!

Wonderful story! I'm so glad I found this!

Author's Response: You know it is just so lovely that you have read to the end! thankyou!

What a heartworming lovely little reviews... You will probably hear from me a bit as I have just found your otehr story and am loving it!

Was hunting for a new form of procrastination, so thankyou.
(I prefer to call it research, but procrastination is a far more accurate term)

Thankyou so much for your reviews and lovely feed back.

As for the secret of the sneakers?

Well, that would be telling wouldnt it?

There is a challenge coming up.. I am hoping I might.. well..
you just never know do you?
:P



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Review #6, by 800 words of heaven Unexpected discovery

3rd November 2013:
REVIEW TAG!

Ah! Plot progression! I was wondering when we'd see the shoes. And I had my suspicions about Dobby helping - or is it really Dumbledore helping? It's difficult to say about either of them.

I adore that Dobby made shoes. He's so obsessed with socks, I first thought that he might not let that go. I suppose diamond socks are a little impractical!

Molly's characterisation was cute. I thought it was quite spot on the way she flew off the handle with her husband. And what a typical Arthur thing to do, confunding the clock! It made me giggle. I adore these two characters!

As always, the writing was clear and concise, so that we really got to focus on the story. I love this particular writing style!

I'm looking forward to the last chapter! :D

Author's Response: Aww hello! its good to see you back again, thanks for the review on my little story! I am glad it made you giggle - the interaction between Arthur and Molly.

As for Albus and Dobby? Who knows? I guess I should say it was Dobby- cause the challenge was to base it on the Grimm fairy tale...
but probably it was a bit of both.

And yeah.. diamond socks would have been interesting! lol


Thankyou for your lovely review! It is so nice to have you coming back again like that!


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Review #7, by 800 words of heaven Unpaid work

20th October 2013:
REVIEW TAG!

It's been simply ages since I read the first chapter of this story, and I forgot how good it was! The second chapter was just as awesome.

I'm excited about where this story is going to go. I enjoyed the shifty behaviour of "Moody" quite a lot - it was all believable and ver well-written.

Arthur's plight continues to pull on my heartstrings. The way you write the Weasleys' situation, and Arthur's feelings of responsibility and guilt are incredibly relevant and very relateable. I truly feel for him!

Also, this is nothing as big, but I'm actually really happy about the shortish length of these chapters! It's amazing how such few words encompass so many events!

As usual, awesome job! Looking forward to the next installment!

Author's Response: awww wow. Thankyou, that is a really lovely review!

...and thankyou for the feedback on chapter length too actually - it's really helpful. I am relatively new to this entire FF world, and had never before thought about how long a chapter could or should be.

I think you are right, they are relatively short chapters, even looking at my own work. It gives me a frame of reference as I continue writing my other stuff that this length "feels shortish!" lol

I am glad the shifty behaviour of Moody came through. This chapter has been edited since originally posted, and that was something I didn't quite pull off the first time around. I've taken on board some feedback about that, and its good to hear that it has worked!

Thanks again!



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Review #8, by 800 words of heaven Unpaid Leave

22nd August 2013:
REVIEW TAG!

I decided to read this because I love reading stories written for challenges, this seemed like it could be fun, and I don't often read crossovers, and thought it was time to increase my reading repertoire.

Oh, l love it that we can guess exactly who is speaking to Arthur before you mention his name in the third paragraph. It's testament to your writing that you're able to write such a distinct character in a manner similar to which is seen in canon.

I'm really loving the way you've written Lucius. He's a horrible person, but such a good character, if you get what I mean. You've really captured his meanness and the subtle maliciousness in his nature.

You've also done really well with the way you've written Dobby’s dialogue. I have trouble grasping the house-elves' syntax, but I can feel when it's done wrong, and I'm so happy to see that this isn't the case here. It adds a richness and complexity to the story, which is great.

This was a wonderful introduction to what I'm guessing (by which I mean hoping) is a Dobby-centric story. I'd love to see more of Arthur, though, and how he gets along. Also, I'd be interested in seeing what goes on at the Ministry during the Triwizard Tournament, but we'll probably have more than enough excitement when (if) Dobby gets to Hogwarts!

Author's Response: Hi, thankyou for such a lovely review!

Im almost embarrassed to confess that this will not satisfy your hopes, as this is not a Dobby-centric story :(
Nor will you get to see much more of the Ministry, nor Dobby at Hogwarts, or... well, any of the things you were looking forward to.
Im sorry!

On the other hand, you will see more of Arthur?

If you do finish reading it, I would love to know how you feel about that, because if you are left feeling a little ripped off, or robbed of what could have been a beautiful story, please let me know!

And thankyou for the feedback on what I think of as the "voice" for Characters. I was blessed enough to be able to obtain one of the Audio Books with Stephen Fry reading, and one of the greatest things about both Stephen Fry and JKR is that if I start a track half way through the dialogue, I can tell who is talking, just by the words being used, (or Stephen Fry's most awesome 'voices' that he puts on!)

He has a different voice for each character (WOW) but she has a different syntax for each character.
Its what I've tried to mimic, with limited success. I will be editing one of Dobby's speeches, where I felt he dropped one too many sirs into the conversation! lol

Either way, so pleased that you 'liked' Malfoy - and that you liked Dobby and want to see more of Arthur
What a lovely review! (thanks for your time!)



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Review #9, by Lululuna Unpaid Leave

21st August 2013:
Hello, dropping by from review tag! :)

This was a really sweet beginning to the story, and I'm curious as to how you'll tie it in with the fairy tale of the Shoemaker and the Elves. Using a House Elf as to play the elf role is very clever, and Mr. Weasley being relatively poor makes him fit the role of the shoemaker well. I wonder if Dobby will help Mr. W in fixing things to sell?

I think you characterized the three main characters quite well. You got Dobby's speech and anxiety just right, and he clearly mirrored the Dobby from the books. At first I was a little confused about what exactly he was doing underfoot - I thought for some reason he might have been still working for Lucius in the story - but maybe if you made it a little clearer that Dobby was just passing by it would clear that up! :) Also, both Lucius and Dobby said that they had just been interacting with the Minister, which suggests they would have fun into each other before. I would have loved to see more of the tense dynamic between the two of them as well, especially how angry Lucius would still be about losing Dobby.

I quite enjoyed Lucius and his maliciousness against poor Arthur as well, he seemed very fitting with canon. It fit very well how he goaded Arthur about losing his job, and mocked him by pretending he didn't know what Arthur's job title was. Also, it fit well with canon how Lucius brought Arthur's children into the insults. I thought Arthur was well characterized as well, with his kindness and goodness, but also his restrained rage at Malfoy. You definitely did him justice! :) The one tiny thing I wasn't sure about was how he said he couldn't feed his family for next week; I know it fits with the fairy tale, but seemed a bit extreme, especially since I feel that Mrs. Weasley grew a lot of her own cooking ingredients and food was one thing they didn't worry about. Maybe he could worry about getting school robes and expensive books for the kids instead? :) Just a thought!

This was a nice introduction to your story and I liked getting the insight into the characters and imagining how you will continue to incorporate the fairy tale story with the canon of GoF. Good job! :)

Author's Response: Hi, Thankyou for such helpful, lovely feedback - I really love reading your reviews! :)
Its funny how you miss the obvious in your own story, isnt it?
Having Dobby stand behind Malfoy does make it seem like they were there together...and that isn't at all clear, and I hadn't noticed that till you pointed it out.

Youve also picked a really gaping plothole I hadn't seen! I completely missed that both Dobby and Malfoy have come straight from the Minister, oops! That is obviously impossible as they are NOT supposed to have run into each other before now.

I was really really happy that you seemed to think I had succeeded in keeping the characters as close to canon as possible. As an author, I tend to project myself onto my characters a little bit, and I think that is what happened when Arthur said he couldnt afford to feed his family... Its the type of hyperbolic exaggeration I would use (but not Arthur) and it does make the situation sound desperate (when it was just a figure of speech that would be normal for me and would not mean I couldn't literally feed my family)
:) I will alter that when I edit this chapter again (which wont be till I work out how to fix the plothole! lol)

Thankyou once again for your review!
-Anthea




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Review #10, by marauderfan Untold Story

17th August 2013:
I see you've posted the last chapter! I thought it was really cute. I love the Weasleys so it was nice to see things going their way for once and being able to make ends meet. And I'm so happy Dobby got a Weasley sweater too! :D

I LOVE the ending, how Arthur kept the shoes to remind him of Dobby's kindness. And the last two paragraphs... It just begs for a new story, about where the magic shoes could take him (...like Oz! I can see it already: "Albus Potter, The New Wizard of Oz" lol.) But I do like the open-endedness. And also nice to think that Dobby continued to help people out even after his death :)

Well done on this story, I have really enjoyed reading it!

Author's Response: aww wow! Thankyou so much for coming back and reading that last chapter!
Thankyou for liking it! In all truth, I didn't want it to end, and I had visions of making that last chapter (or stub of a chapter) before the epilogue a lot longer.

One day I may even write a story about Albus, but I'd want it to be better than this, so it will have to wait until I improve some more. I think the first step would be fixing this last chapter, because I personally am not happy with it, I just can't put my finger on why.
Or .. well never mind, no point talking about what might have been.
I really appreciate your input, and I am glad you are comfortable with the open-ended-ness - the epilogue it is the one thing I am happy with about this last update!

Thank-you for reviewing again!


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Review #11, by broadwaykat Unexpected discovery

13th August 2013:
So we are going to have some magical shoes! I was almost certain it was going to be some more with the magical objects - but I do like how you worked them into the story. Of course, I suppose I should have guessed the outcome from the title, now that I am reading it.

It's interesting how you didn't just work regular made shoes into this - they're all magic, but not in the stereotypical way. And there's different types too, so different bits and ends of income for the Weasley family! And the crystal shoes remind me a bit of a homage to other fairy tale stories - Cinderella's glass slippers, for one.

I like how this story kind of ties together the connection between the eccentric, good characters - you've got Arthur, who's definitely a little out there, Dobby the paid elf and Dumbledore. It's a really interesting connection you made - and definitely made me smile, even if for two of them the actual story will end rather bittersweetly, won't it?

Author's Response: Starting this review response with yet another Thankyou!

All I get out of your reviews The first time I read them is compliments. But when I think about what you said I did miss an opportunity with those magical objects. They were just a throwaway. My one big disappointment from the story is that the shoes weren't more magical. I couldn't see how to make something earth shattering out of them without leaving cannon. Which is why the sneakers just look cool at the moment while the others address instant cash. But Thankyou so much for all your comments and your beautifully in depth review! Glad you've been enjoying it!


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Review #12, by broadwaykat Untold Story

13th August 2013:
Ah! I see we finally get into the end of the story!

Well, let me first compliment you on the way you worked the fairy tale into the Harry Potter universe. I love that you didn't just copy the story from the get-go, and that everything is exactly the way it was in the story. Arthur is not a shoemaker - and yet he gets some pairs of magical shoes to help pay for his family. Dobby helps them out, and get the clothes he wants - but it's all different. You put your own twist on this story, which was what this challenge was about!

The end of this story is heartbreaking - how Arthur keeps those shoes because they remind him both of Dobby and Dumbledore, while they helped him in a time of need. That is so true to the characters. But now, I want to know what happens with those shoes- and those grandchildren. Perhaps there is another story in the making?

Thank you for giving me the chance to read this - I thoroughly enjoyed this! And thank you for entering my challenge!

Author's Response: Thank-you so much for the challenge. I've really begun to enjoy writing to challenges cause it forces me to write in areas I may not be very comfortable in. This one has been my favourite so far actually it was a heap of fun!
I was surprised you found it heartbreaking but I'm really glad too. I guess I wanted it a little bittersweet but kinda had the assumption that all fairy stories should have at least one happy ever after. I just wanted the whole sweet thing to come across. Something feel good and wonderful. And I think a part of that is sorrow too.

Glad you like the slant on the traditional fairy tale to make it a part of hp stories. Thankyou so much for the challenge and food the awesome amazing absolutely, astonishingly, astronomical ... im running low. .. Really nice reviews

:)
Thankyou
Anthea


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Review #13, by broadwaykat Unpaid work

13th August 2013:
I think one of the most interesting things so far you've gotten to explore in this story, other than filling in the 'missing moments' in between GOF with a character we hardly ever get to see from, is the different ideas and charms that you've got placed on little objects, and the different departments explored within the ministry. I'm always a sucker for cohesive world building, and you do a really good job at that. Little throwaway comments - such as the mention of Mundungus Fletcher helping Arthur hedge his charmed objects, just make me giggle - and seem like a very 'JK' thing to do.

Also, the items you come up with seem perfectly fit to the world we know. Yes, singing micros are a little silly - but a chair-bed? And the tweaking of other objects. I always wondered if anyone could charm Molly's clock, or things like that. They're interesting ideas that you put into the story.

True, it isn't very Grimm, yet, but I can see where it might get there - so far though, you're building up a world, and even the fairy tales had to do that. In this chapter, it's almost heartbreaking, the situation you've put Arthur in - hiding from his wife, and his stickler son not even noticing that he isn't at work any more. You've got a real feel for the character, and his probable emotions.

On a constructive note, Might want to take a look at some of your spacing in this chapter. None of it is big things, but there were some words mashed together, I noticed, as well as bigger gaps between paragraphs. From an appearance standpoint, you understand.

Author's Response: Unfortunately my reply to this review was posted just as the site went down yesterday so I've lost it. I can't even remember much about it except it started as "ok now you're making me blush" Thankyou! This is another great review and I really appreciate it. Your reviews are so encouraging and flattering. You just highlight all the good bits and enjoy the story. Thankyou. Now I think my reviews are sounding gushy!
You are right about the spacing. Thanks for highlighting it. I'm relatively new at this and had missed the bit where you have to paste from wood as unformatted text or it adds extra spaces etc.

I thought I'd gone through n fixed it all but I must have missed this chapter! Thankyou!
Can I say Thankyou once more? Thankyou!





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Review #14, by broadwaykat Unpaid Leave

13th August 2013:
Aww...This first chapter is the right sort of heartbreaking. I think you made the right pairing to start us off with it too. As you mentioned in this chapter, Dobby is certainly and eccentric - and so is Arthur. And just the two of them interacting was a little slice of adorableness.

It's also interesting to see Dobby before he finds his new job at Hogwarts - in the hard times between his employment with the Malfoy's and Hogwarts. I really enjoy well-written house elves...which is sometimes hard to find, because sometimes people write their dialogue as a mix of Yoda-speak, but this Dobby was right on the money and I could definitely see this as a 'missing moment' from the Harry Potter series itself.

I'll also bring up the Malfoy and Arthur dialogue at the beginning. It's so perfectly petty and asinine. A lot of the time we see Malfoy as such a menacing figure, but forget that in the second book, particularly with the Weasley's - he's just a giant jerk who loves rubbing it into people's faces! I absolutely adored it, it didn't seem out of character at all.

I love how you've placed this in a part of the books that nobody would have seen - setting it up in time during the fourth book, and the impact it would have had on the ministry. Poor Arthur - here's hoping things'll work out for him eventually (which...they do...sort of...)

Author's Response: Wow. I'm not entirely sure what to say. I've received 4 magnificently in-depth reviews from you and all of them just gave me the warm fuzzies.
Ill try to respond to each review individually.
Thank-you for taking the time to review this thoroughly, and thank-you for all the gushing-ness. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I have absolutely loved creating this little story.
You highlighted in the first sentence of this review that Arthur himself is an eccentric character, and do you know, I had forgotten that entirely in writing this story? What a missed opportunity to have some more fun with his character.
And I love the fact that you felt Malfoy and Arthur were petty and asinine. (no perhaps I just love the word asinine. I'll say it again. asinine.)

Thank-you for such a lovely review, but more than that thank-you for the challenge, I never would have come up with this type of story on my own!




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Review #15, by marauderfan Unexpected discovery

3rd August 2013:
I can see where the fairy tale is coming in now - I wonder how Dobby managed to do that with the shoes, and I hope he wasn't doing anything illegal :P

I love that Molly's clock said "Hiding in the shed"!! That was really funny.

Regarding the note from Dumbledore, I don't think Arthur's intervention helped make sure there was a Potions Master, since that's Snape. I think you meant Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

Molly seemed a little bit too helpless and shrill in this, but maybe that's must my interpretation of her. But you do a lovely job of writing Arthur.

This is a really good story so far, I'm interested to see how it continues!

Author's Response: Lol. oops. I was mixing moody up with Slughorn! Good catch! Thankyou!

Molly .. shrill... you are probably right. Re-reading it, she does go a bit OTT. Maybe I can soften it a little when I correct the potions master mix-up!
And thankyou soo much for your reviews, I really appreciate all your time, its really made my day to see the not one but 3 reviews!
Thankyou!!


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Review #16, by marauderfan Unpaid work

3rd August 2013:
I really liked the second half of this chapter, the other POV of that scene when Ron gets his dress robes. I liked seeing the "behind the scenes" of Arthur worrying downstairs, that was a nice touch.

I have to admit the first half of the chapter was a bit confusing to me. It seems like the Alastor Moody in this scene is actually Barty Crouch Jr by this point, based on his odd behaviour with the trunk. I had thought the dustbin thing (in the book anyway) was just Moody being paranoid about nothing (as he does), so I wasn't quite sure why the dustbin was exploding. Did Moody set it to explode? If so that would be rather out of character for him. It would even be OOC for Barty Crouch, because he's trying to pass as Moody and not draw unnecessary attention to himself.

I hope that's not too harsh, I just think it could be cleared up a bit :) Besides that, Arthur was really well written. I like the setup for your story, am looking forward to when it gets to the Elves and the Shoemaker part!

Author's Response: Hey it seems my response to this review was not saved, sorry, but Thankyou very much I really appreciate your review!

I have taken on board your point about Moody - it is a little unclear, but yes, he is meant to be Barty Crouch Junior at that point. He confesses to it under polyjuice potion at the end of the novel. It always amazed me how he picked up so many "mannerisms" of Moody's so quickly, and that he didn't arouse suspiscion, especially when Arthur had arrived just after he had taken the Polyjuice potion!

Im actually goign to go and edit it in an attempt to make that a more obvious issue. Obviously the story is not about Moody, so I don't want to big a deal going on, but if it is confusing to read it isnt very helpful either!

Thankyou so much for the constructive criticism! I hope you aren't to disappointed by the distinct lack of the shoe maker so far! (The last chapter should be up soon, so Im going to add "ever". I took a little creative licence with the story!)

Thanks for the lovely reviews again though!

Anthea


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Review #17, by marauderfan Unpaid Leave

3rd August 2013:
Hello! Just wanted to thank you for all the reviews you left for me last week! So I thought I'd return the favour, and this story looked like it needed some love :)

You've done really well writing Lucius Malfoy, in particular - saying all these things to provoke Arthur, and stepping on all the things that have fallen. I also really enjoyed Arthur's eclectic assortment of Muggle items in his office like a singing microwave, haha.

Oh and I liked your explanation of how Dobby ended up working at Hogwarts. I was a bit surprised that he thought to go to the Minister first, but I suppose Dobby heard good things about Fudge while he was working for the Malfoys (because Fudge did whatever the Malfoys wanted, so they probably liked him), and maybe Dobby thought that'd be a better first option than going to Hogwarts.

anyway, this is a lovely introductory chapter and I think you've done really well writing those three characters!

Author's Response: Thankyou so much for your lovely reviews! it was a lovely surprise to see them all there this morning.
You are right it is weird that Dobby goes to the ministry perhaps, but he was looking for work for ages before coming to the school. It just doesn't list where - and yes, this story could do with some love ! Thankyou!


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