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Reading Reviews for Logarithmic
56 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Giu9_RedandGold (15)

3rd November 2017:
I have a feeling I know who she might stay with! 😝
I know I have already said I'm going to read this story again, as soon as I have the time, but I really really NEED to read this again!!! I totally missed the "thing" between Eloise and Wayne. I must be so incredibly distracted 😣
Anyway, new chapter was great! Update soon 😉

Author's Response: The latest chapter is in the queue, so you'll find out soon whether or not your prediction is correct!

Thank you for the review :)

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Review #2, by MarieBlack (15)

2nd November 2017:
It. Was. So. Beautiful.

Just, the gentle friendship of Eloise and Wayne and how the end of their sleeping together. AND CORMAC MCLAGGEN DECLARING HIS LOVE. UGH, love that kid. AnD tHeN tHe FuNeRaL? Beautiful. In my heart I never want this story to end. Please don't let it end. I want everyone to fall in love and then fight in the war (and no one to die) BUT my idealistic self is willing to settle for MISS ELOISE spilling her feelings.

Please write more. I know, I know. You have a real life with lots of papers and things to do, I understand. But. If you could. Like write more. That would be super duper great.

Happy writing, and thanks for letting me revel in these characters!


Wayne and Eloise's dynamic was, and remains, a very interesting one to write, but it was high time this particular facet came to an end -- especially with Cormac fessing up at last. I'm very excited for you to see what happens next!

This story is nowhere close to ending yet, no worries! I plan to follow everyone through Seventh Year at least (but most likely beyond that). Before that, however, a confession would indeed not be remiss. ;)

The next chapter is in the queue, and I hope you'll enjoy it!

Thank you for being so consistently lovely in your reviews, it truly means the world.

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Review #3, by MarieBlack (14)

2nd November 2017:
I came back to this RIGHT on time and had two chapters to devour. I must say I rarely enjoy "other perspectives" to the Harry Potter time because they either follow so closely with the original story characters that I'm a bit bored of it, or they seem so "throw in" in a way that doesn't make sense. HOWEVER, these people fit perfectly. I can imagine them on the same train to Hogwarts, in the same great hall, and knowing people who know the people JKR wrote specifically on. I sincerely love the way they fold into the story and contribute. It's marvelous and I have a huge respect for your character development that has made it this way.

The action in this one is rather exciting, yeah? Lots of moving and running for our friends. I like their stick-togetherness that seems to follow this little troop of Puffs. They're always stick it out with one another it seems. I know as the way this one ended that Eloise will certainly need the morale building of her friendships. Loosing Dumbledore was something the entire school surely felt in such a deep way. Also, what follows is the rise of the Dark Lord. I'm interested to see all of this from the perspective outside of the Trio.

You've enraptured me again, on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Squee, that is quite the compliment and it left me smiling like a loon for a very long time, thank you so, so much.

My precious pack of 'Puffs!! You will definitely be seeing them more in further chapters and I hope it doesn't disappoint.

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Review #4, by Giu9_RedandGold (13)

22nd September 2017:
Hi! I hope I'll have the time to read this story again soon, because I remember I really liked it, but barely anything else. I'm sorry! I find many stories lately that I used to read and I somehow forgot. Anyway, since we are in the Half-Blood Prince, I definitely know what's going on.

Anyway the chapter is good, filler-y but fun to read. I really liked how you wrote Henry's breakdown, it felt quite realistic.

Cheers! ;)

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Review #5, by MarieBlack (12)

24th August 2017:
I have to say I love this story! I stumbled upon it not too long ago and have been giving it a look now and then for more. I've finally managed to leave a decent review. I think you have managed the incredible task of writing in the Harry Potter Hogwarts era extremely well. It doesn't have this feel of "not fitting," that some stories may. I can imagine these students shuffled in among the Gryffindors we know so well. And you give such great depth to Cormac in the process. I'm definitely a fan of this story to say the least.

Now, on to specifics of this chapter. One I have to admit Hufflepuff is my favorite house. I have a feeling it is where I'd end up if ever sorted and so seeing all the community and good feeling they experience in this chapter brings my heart joy. Ugh, those Puffs. I like the increasing tensions within the ministry from a perspective with a closer link than in the Harry Potter stories. I'm personally so excited to see how Cormac and Eloise fall back together in some way. And when I say "so excited," I mean I'm going to check back on this story daily until you post again ;)

Faithfully reading and waiting,
Marie xx

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Review #6, by forever_dreaming (2)

22nd August 2017:
Oh man, that first meeting. That is what dreams are made ofóI loved loved loved how sassy Eloise was. I think that fits her personality perfectly. Also Cormac was adorably arrogant--he was characterized perfectly but where I disliked this characterization in the books, it actually sort of worked? I thought his whole thing about his "natural charm" was really funny and am looking forward to more interactions between Eloise and Cormac.

I was really surprised by Eloise as a main character here. I found it admirable and surprising that she still has her optimism about Hogwarts, even considering everything that has happened to her there and how much her classmates have mistreated her; in her perspective, I would've been like, "Yeah, no, I'll just stay home." I think you explained this well with Eloise placing her distrust and hatred on her classmates and not on Hogwarts itself, but it did strike me as odd at first.

I feel so bad for Susan. She seems like a cinnamon roll that I want to protect forever ❤️ I really like her and Eloise's friendship; they feel like sisters and that warms my heart. I like that Eloise has someone beside her to support her. I also like Hannah; I think that where Susan is soft, Hannah is hard, and that's the perfect balance. Hannah's assertiveness is fantastic; I can already see it rubbing off on Eloise a little. I can't wait to see what this little trio gets up to!

Also, I love that Eloise has a connection to Miranda Goshawk. That's epic. :D

Author's Response: Hi again!

AHH. I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKED THEIR FIRST MEETING. Eloise tends to default to jokes and sarcasm when nervous, and Cormac definitely makes her nervous. Crushes are all fun and games until someone catches feelings.

I'm so, so happy to hear you say that you like this Cormac where you didn't like him in the books so much! I try to stick to his canon portrayal, but obviously if he was like book!Cormac all the time, Eloise wouldn't give him the time of day. This fic will attempt to explain why he's the way he is, and I hope the explanation won't disappoint.

Eloise's optimism regarding Hogwarts is linked to a deep, longlasting love of academia and learning. School, in spite of the nasty comments of some students, is a safe haven for her (not in the least because it gets her off her mother's overprotective radar). Unfortunately, as we well know, it's not going to stay a safe place, but let's not tell her that just yet!

It's super interesting that you describe Susan as the soft and Hannah the hard one! The dynamic is the opposite in my head, as will become abundantly clear in the coming chapters, so maybe I should give this one a reread and touch up my characterisation for the sake of continuity.

Again, thank you for taking the time to leave a review!

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Review #7, by forever_dreaming (1)

22nd August 2017:
Hi! This was a great first chapter and really made me sympathize with Eloise. I commend you on making such a likable character, even after only the first chapter; I'm fond of Eloise so much that I actually want to punch all the people who were being rude to her and making fun of her! Like, jackasses. *cracks knuckles*

I think part of the reason why I find her so likable is because I relate to her, wanting to become a butterfly. I think you captured the insecurities of a teenage girl perfectly, and the effects of that insecurity too; given everything she went through, it makes sense that she would be withdrawn, antisocial, and still horribly insecure.

I also liked the subtle introduction of her family and her brother and the role they played--I'm quite angry at them for not reassuring Eloise and making her feel loved. I liked how you developd the feeling of aloneness in often very subtle ways too; for example, even in Eloise's safe haven, books, she could not find someone who was like her. That's heartbreaking and very subtly done--nice!

Thanks for giving life to a very disregarded character; I'm excited to read more!

Author's Response: Hi!

If you're already rooting for her by chapter one, my job here is done, hooray! My own growing girl insecurities aren't that far under surface and Eloise's definitely stem from personal experience -- though nothing quite so bad as hers, thank goodness for that.

Your point about family is interesting, because I hadn't considered that the way they were portrayed might've made matters worse. It does 100% make sense: Vincent, though he loves his baby sister and would kill for her, takes his 'making fun of Eloise' elder siblings duty seriously, and their parents would not have helped Eloise's ego with their constant fretting. The way to hell is paved with good intentions, as they say!

This got way too long, oops. Thank you very much for leaving a review :)

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Review #8, by PaulaTheProkaryote (11)

16th August 2017:

I know itís been implied here and there that his home life was a bit of a wreck in regards to his father so itís nice to have some major confirmation. My poor baby. Also Iím hoping that the Hogwarts staff donít actually know whatís going on because if they did theyíre mandatory reporters and THEYíD HAVE NO CHOICE TO SKEWER THAT MAN or else I would. GOd I hate abusive jerks. The name Nero really says it all, doesnít it?

AND THATíS WHY HE WAS A JERK. Oh, heís such a sweet little thing, isnít he?

So I honestly think that if winter is as cold there as it is here, it would be reason enough for me to drop Care of Magical Creatures or Herbology as subjects just so I wouldnít have to go outside. Random thought your story prompted. Ignore me. Also Henry is a hero.

The exchange with Susan and her about her attitude is exactly how I imagine a Hufflepuff intervention to go. Also can we just appreciate how much of a fixer Susan is? I love fixers. Sheís got the game plan and everything. I need Susan in my life. Ď A hot mess, but still a mess.í true friends.

I love how well youíve worked in what happened during the actual books in the background because I think it would be so easy to overlook those kinds of details. Like Ron being poisoned. But youíve been super consistent about it all along.

"You don't attempt to kill people over Quidditch." You can tell for sure that Oliver has graduated by this point because heís a solid exception.

Also I really enjoy all of the gossip and speculation and conspiracy within the Hufflepuffs.

As usual, the dialogue flows very naturally in this chapter and it really doesnít feel fillery at all. It feels much more developmental and I keep muttering to myself that the plot is thickening (which it totally is).

Iím 90% sure that Iíve said at least a dozen times how much I love Susan in this review alone, but I really like the way you have me both cheering her on and have me terrified for her.

It was another great chapter!

Author's Response: Hey you!

Honestly, if the Hogwarts staff is anything like its Headmaster, they wouldn't really care. In Cormac's case, though, he's a Quidditch player and most of the damage usually occurs outside of school, so Madam Pomfrey would have no reason to investigate beyond what he says... (But yes, my poor baby, who thinks the solution is to push everyone away.)

HENRY ZELLER, CHARMS MASTER. I don't think I'd do Care of Magical Creatures in the first place, sorry Hagrid.

Susan is a hero, we all deserve a Susan in our lives.

Having to stick to the actual books is actually such a pain, it's so t e d i o u s to have to constantly go back and check what happened. I want to take so much more creative liberty and I can'ttt. Too bad, so sad.

Conspiracy theories abound, yay! You should be scared for Susan. She has Things coming.

Thank you again for stopping by, your support means the world!

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Review #9, by PaulaTheProkaryote (10)

14th August 2017:

Okay so the good news is I had enough manners to leave you reviews on your last two chapters when I did my first read through so I'm not a complete animal.

Now I'm still wondering what in the world has got Cormac so hot and cold.

Can I just say that I really appreciate you taking the time to go over the mechanics of apparition lessons because I feel like the books really skimmed over it and it seems like it's so important and such a coming of age (especially with the build up of Fred and George getting it). I really enjoyed that part.

Good I'm glad he's flushed red. Hopefully he'll go properly apologize to her that absolute baboon. Also Wayne is a good friend for helping antagonize him. Good friend. I hope he hasn't caught feelings though or it would be super awkward. It seems safe so far.

Follow up shoutout to Professor Sprout for being chill about the entire thing. She'd still totally write her an excellent letter of recommendation.

Susan's shout of horror made me laugh.

I can't even imagine the terror of temporarily losing a leg I don't think I'd ever learn how to apparate. That scene really highlights the closeness of Eloise and Susan though and I'm all for any bonding of the girls. I think the pacing of that paragraph also helped set up a lot of the stress and worry that Eloise was feeling.

I'm not sure if Black Cat Flu was legit from the books but I don't think it was so if that's the case you get kudos because it made me laugh.

There's something satisfying about her giving him skele gro considering how gross and uncomfortable it was for harry.

A six sounds like him trying to do the masculine downplay of pain thing. Or maybe I'm just a wimp. Or maybe that would have more to do with his apparent familiarity to pain.

"Be aggressively normal and all will be fine" that's my new daily mantra.

so as a polite, thoughtful reader i'm not going to scream where is the next chapter. Instead I'm going to sob it. HELP I NEED MORE.

Author's Response: On Cormac's behaviour -- all will be explained! *swishy hand gestures* In the meantime, he can suffer quietly in his corner while Eloise and Wayne do their thing (especially now that there's no risk of Susan walking in on them).

Weirdly, though the risks are bodily damage are higher with Apparition, I'd still take it over learning how to drive. The emotions channelled in that scene are directly inspired from that first time I got behind the wheel and almost landed the car into a tree. Oops.

The Black Cat Flu isn't legit from the books, but from the movies! I thought it was hilarious; it's a very unthreatening epidemic name.

He's definitely familiar with the pain. He's also already been treated by Pomfrey, which helps.

Chapter 11 will be up sometime near the end of the week, I believe! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUING ENTHUSIASM, I LOVE YOU

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Review #10, by PaulaTheProkaryote (7)

14th August 2017:
Hello again! :) You probably haven't noticed because you probably haven't checked your account in the twenty minutes I've been gone, but I had to go grab some taco bell and rush back so I could enjoy the rest of the story so far.

So I never really loved that Ron made the Quidditch team because I feel like he really did get it in part because of Harry which is super shady. In comparison to Cormac's disappointment, I do feel like it sucks a bit.

Did we ever find out why McLaggen had been a no show? Did he have a viable reason?

I love Christmas at Hogwarts so thank you for taking the time to properly paint the scene. It just makes me ready for Christmas myself even though we have months and several holidays to get through first.

I'm glad Vincent is making some progress though.

Also I can't even with the cuteness of their studying. His mind going blank. All of the latent romantic feelings being expressed through knee pressing.

Solid sibling names by the way. I'm down for them. I always grumble when characters get random names. Like fanfics that have Hermione with a brother named "Chad" or something wretched.

The birthday shenanigans were wonderful. Shoutout to Zach for the surprisingly sweet gift. He's the best. All of the Hufflepuffs are too sweet for their own good.

Author's Response: I hope you enjoyed your Taco Bell!

Well. I know why McLaggen was a no show, but it hasn't been revealed just yet. He does have a viable reason, one that ties in with his personal history -- I've only been dropping hints left and right for the moment but the explanation will get there! Hopefully it's not disappointing or nonsensical.

On top of all the reasons I still want to go to Hogwarts, Christmas at Hogwarts is very close to the beginning of the list. It must be amazing and I want it to be Christmas now (says she from the sweltering heat of mid-August).

They may be mute about their feelings to one another, but these two are so tactile. I cry. (So does Cormac, out of frustration.)

There are fanfics that give Hermione a brother named Chad? *shudders*

Zach's in Hufflepuff for a reason. He's just loyal to a select number of people.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #11, by PaulaTheProkaryote (6)

14th August 2017:
Hello lovely!

I swear I reviewed some of these chapters at some point. I feel very guilty now. I bet I probably did like the last ones because I always start a story and then tell myself I'll go back and catch up on reviews and then never do. It's pathological at this point.

"Can you please not spring things on me like that, especially today?" I died at this line. My precious cinnamon roll. So cute. Adorable. Also John is a great character.

I love the Susan and Eloise conversation with McLaggen walking into the door. Absolutely adorable. I know I've already said that, but I'm in love.

Susan is like an even better Hermione. Like I honestly feel like she could single handedly overthrow Voldemort. She's brilliant.

The apology scene was so cute. Their dialogue flows easily and even though we really only get a few lines from them, it feels like so much more. It feels significant.

It's always important to me that other characters feel Hogwarts's magic the way that Harry did because I think that even if you were used to magical dwellings and from a magical family it still must stand out, right? I'm glad Cormac thinks so.

Also Eloise and Malfoy interacting is stellar. Like she's a boss in all situations despite her Hufflepuff temperament. Also I think the whole thing makes the Slytherins seem much more human.

"You literally just mentioned her name. Please?" All hail the queen of sass.

Author's Response: Whoops, I think you may in fact have reviewed them once, but far be it from me to criticise you for it. I'm just here grinning like a goof.

I don't know if Susan could singlehandedly overthrow Voldemort, but I feel like she'd definitely put her whole heart in trying. My brave little badger.

You liked the apology scene, yay! I'm trying to move these two idiots along but it's such a slow process. JUST KISS.

Malfoy, just like all the big characters we see a lot of, was terrifying to write, so you calling their interactions stellar is super relieving. Eloise isn't always a boss, but in the Hospital Wing, she's on her turf, which is probably why she allowed herself to be so sassy. Also, if someone is bleeding out in front of her, her focus isn't going to be on filtering what comes out of her mouth. Sorry, Slytherin boys.

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Review #12, by PaulaTheProkaryote (5)

14th August 2017:
Hello lovely!

I love hate the Hufflepuff boys. Okay, mostly love. I especially love Eloise's description of them. I especially love her thoughts on Zacharias and him keeping his mouth shut.

I know you worried about their interactions considering how she is a bit of a loner, but I think even loners have their own groups and it feels more like they've fallen into a comfortable rhythm from living together for years more than anything else. It feels very natural.

Honestly that was quite the speech she gave Cormac and one day I hope you rewrite that scene from his perspective.

The way the hufflepuffs are banding together in one room reminds me a lot of when DA did that in the room of requirement in DH and it makes my heart ache and I'm feeling all nostalgic and now I need a story during that time period. Or I can hope that this story stretches through seventh year? That seems like the best option.

Wayne is my child: "We need to stop using gross stereotypes when referring to the other houses because then all we do is perpetuate biased ideas that make us antagonise one another when we should be trying to increase inter-house unity." Love him and I want more of him.

I know my reviews should have more substance, but I'm mostly just enjoying the magic so shhh. As always, I loved it!

Author's Response: Zach is an idiot, of the same variety as Cormac imo. His relationship with the rest of the group, especially Susan, is tons of fun for me to write. They love to antagonise one another, it's great.


This story is definitely going to stretch through seventh year, so you'll see more Hufflepuff (and DA, but shh) bonding, no worries there!

Wayne!! He and Hannah are like Hufflepuff 101. We're going to be seeing more of him too.

Your reviews are the greatest thing that could happen to me and I'm super thankful for them. Substance? What substance?

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Review #13, by PaulaTheProkaryote (4)

14th August 2017:
Hello again! :)

Honestly poor Eloise waiting around for our resident dork. I'd be mad at being stood up too, no matter how long I waited. SEND A NOTE. It takes two seconds and it's just decent.

"the world has not been under a zombie attack Ė or in any case, the Ministry hasnít said anything about it." Yeah but tbh that doesn't rule out the zombie apocalypse. The ministry is downright unreliable.

Susan is my favorite character other than Eloise and Cormac and I want to see so much more of her. She's such an awesome, dynamic character. Plus I always appreciate some good conspiracies and illegal activity.

I do like the way they put bravery. Every day sort of bravery is far more impressive to me than those big acts. It's also a nice throwback to the every day sort of bravery she earlier attributed to Neville.

Susan should have been Minister and CC robbed her.

What nightmarish times and also the fact that she immediately knew to ask which of her family members had been hurt...I mean it makes sense, but it also hurts? Like that she knew the moment she saw him.

Poor Vincent. I wrote a deaf character once and I kept getting reviews saying that the healers would have solved it and I kept reminding them that surely everything couldn't be magically healed. If so I highly doubt so many wizards would have worn glasses.

I love the sibling banter so much. It really makes the story. It feels just like my brother and I.

Also I love that Eloise is a fixer. She took the initiative to find that spell for her brother and that's ten out of ten hufflepuff. She's so pure.

As always, I loved this chapter just as much the second time around!

Author's Response: Cormac has to stay a little unpleasant sometimes; I'm not on board with the way he's portrayed in the books, but I did have to stick to that somewhat. It's only unfortunate that Eloise is the one dealing with it!

I looove Susan! You're going to see a fair amount of her, she's such a fun character to write. Of course, there'll be plenty of conspiracies, illegal activities and snark to go around. (My precious bby.) She should definitely have been Minister, but there's always time!

I think that when you live in a tense political climate and your father shows up in the middle of the day at school (or, you know, calls, in our decidely Muggle world), your first reflex is to ask who died. But yes, it doesn't make the process any less painful.

Magic does not solve everything, oh my God. What I love about the 'verse JKR gave us to muck around in is precisely how flawed it is. Unfortunately, the ugly things found in our world are found in this one too. Racial prejudice, anyone?

Eee okay moving on to reply to your next review!

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Review #14, by PaulaTheProkaryote (3)

14th August 2017:
Hello again! :)

I relate so hard to Eloise's need for privacy. That was one thing I didn't love about Hogwarts when I read it and I was younger. I'd be so annoyed if I had to share a room at all (especially considering how many unused rooms there are AND MAGIC) but to share it with at least four other people? I'd die.

Eloise and I have a lot of the same coping mechanisms. When I'm stressed I like to work on my gardens or I start little seedlings or I look at my pinterest board filled with greenhouses (no, it's not a weird thing to devote an entire board to) so she's basically my favorite at all times.

I think you really nailed Professor Sprout's characterization. She's a bit brusque and rough around the edges, but amiable and overall kind. Her dialogue flows really naturally.

Also shoutout to Eloise for being the kind of person to recognize when to let a subject drop. Those are my favorite kinds of people.


"But, after all, he was Cormac McLaggen: what he wanted, he got, and he would get his mystery girl too." Really he sounds like some sinister mastermind orchestrating the apocalypse here which of course I appreciate. I'm telling you, he's the epitome of dramatic.

Ugh they are the cutest I'm so glad he's such a slacker in herbology. Also I'm very pleased she managed to embarrass him at least a little bit. It's how every good relationship should start.

Author's Response: I saw a post on tumblr once with headcanons for the different types of bathroom by house, and they'd made the Hufflepuff a bathroom where there were various tubs so Puffs could take their baths at the same time. No? If they can't have their peace in bed, at least give them five minutes on their own to shower?

Hufflepuffs and gardens was giving in to the cliché a little, but I'm glad it works! Also, it isn't that big a stereotype -- our other resident Herbology nerd is a Gryffindor, so. Pinterest greenhouse boards sound like a great idea and I might just copy you there!

Cormac McLaggen, sinister mastermind and dork extraordinaire. He should get business cards.

Thank you again for stopping by! :)

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Review #15, by PaulaTheProkaryote (2)

14th August 2017:
Hello again lovely!

Okay, honestly, Eloise's parents are much more like how I would anticipate parents being during the rise of You Know Who, but I was still beyond grumpy when Molly had threatened the exact same thing and she probably had even more reason to be weary.

Squibs and Hufflepuffs. The best purebloods out there. I always couldn't help but think that realistically they'd have to at least go easy on non-supportive purebloods for the simple fact that potential mates might become scarce if they killed off everyone who disagreed with them so I'm glad you took the time to address it here.

This is the kind of quality humor I'm here for: "mum threw a potted plant at the wall two days ago when one of them tried to Floo in"

I forgot how dramatic Cormac was and I'm low key in love with it. Yes, I'm sure the bowtruckles were completely vicious. Also he's a totally momma's boy which is always a sweet thing, right? Adorable.

I can't wait for them to tell their kids all about how they met. Honestly, you're keeping the story running that long...right? RIGHT?

Author's Response: Hi!

The depiction of Eloise's parents actually comes from canon! In chapter 11 of HBP, she's said to have been taken out of school, which was an angle I originally intended to stick to, except it made any and all Cormac/Eloise interactions impossible. Instead, that reference becomes Anthony taking Eloise out of school the day Vincent is hospitalised (Hermione isn't privy the details and just assumes she's been taken out for good). I kept the (excessive) overprotectiveness in regardless, particularly in Helen's case.

Yep, not wanting to scare of potential mates is basically my headcanon as to why non-supportive purebloods were mostly left alone. Voldemort is very adamant about not spilling pure blood, so it makes sense -- and I'm firmly convinced that all purebloods weren't Death Eaters or Weasleys. I wish JKR had shown us the middle ground more...

Cormac is a drama queen to rule over all drama queens. He's also 100% a mama's boy. Wait until you meet his mother.

AHHH. Don't tempt me. I love, love, love writing my characters with children and pregnancy tropes are my favourite, but I have to get these two dorks there first!

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Review #16, by PaulaTheProkaryote (1)

14th August 2017:

So it's been awhile since I've read this story and even though I love it and it's in my favorites, I didn't leave reviews because I'm exponentially shadier than I pretend I am. So I'm going back and rereading to celebrate the update and in the mean time I'm rectifying my review neglect. I had to wait for a day that I had free from any obligations so here we are!

So when I first read your story I didn't remember Eloise at all and I thought she was an OC. By the time I was like halfway through the story I remembered her. As such, your story really defines my concept of her character.

Eloise is beyond relatable. Who didn't start off as ugly kids? (people that peaked in high school, but that was rhetorical). My brother used to call me the family rat and would tell me he was going to set traps out for me and would taunt me with cheese (I was very pink and rodent looking as a baby, but still, rude) so Vincent was super relatable for me.

I'm curious, does any of your relationships with your siblings bleed through here?

This chapter with all of the hateful comments about Eloise reminds me of how much I hate teenagers sometimes. Awful little creatures.

Also that makes me want to write a pimply heroine just for young Eloises out there.

The end of the chapter has left me cheering Eloise on and ready for her to dominate 6th year.

As expected, it was a great introductory chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hi, Paula!

"Exponentially shadier", pah. You're lovely is what you are.

Eloise isn't an OC, no, but she may as well be given how little we hear of her in the books. I think she's mentioned twice, maybe three times at most.

I'm so happy you think she's relatable! She's probably the character I feel proudest of to this day, so this is like you telling a young mother how pretty their baby is.

That's a terrible thing to say on your brother's part, but I have to say I laughed. Traps, poor Paula! Eloise's and Vincent's relationship is kind of inspired by the relationship I have with my siblings, except I'm the Vincent in our situation, and we argue a lot more than I've depicted the Midgeon siblings doing. Hopefully that'll stop when we all grow up a bit!

Teenagers, sigh. I wouldn't go back to those times even if someone paid me. Once was more than enough.

Thanks for the review! :)

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Review #17, by PaulaTheProkaryote (9)

19th May 2016:
Hey there!

Thank you for the lovely shout out! I can't even begin to tell you how happy I was to see another chapter up!

Even though this chapter is dialogue heavy, I think it was very necessary and I still enjoyed it. I don't think you really need to add anything.

I really liked the insight into Cormac's home life and even though I'm sure he loves going home to see all of the children and his family, I imagine it must be very stressful every time he is there. He's so very sweet with his siblings. ALSO, WHY IS HE BEING SUCH A SNOT? I'm dying to know! I'm sure we will get more detail in the next chapter so I'm hanging on by the seat of my pants (I'm not sure if that's the phrase exactly, but you know what I mean)! Complete side note, I love the names you picked out for Cormac's family because they are exactly the unpronounceable accurate names they should be (at least to me. I'm terrible with names though).

Eloise and Wayne! Well, they are both very practical about it at least! I'm a firm believer that someone always catches feelings though so I'm worried about that whole scenario. Maybe not though. I'm hoping not.

Overall, I loved the chapter and I absolutely cannot wait for the next one! I hope to see it up soon!

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Review #18, by TheGoldenKneazle (4)

14th May 2016:

This is sooo exciting!!! I can't wait to find out more about these wonderfully-written minor characters (you know me, bloody adore minor characters written as mains!). You've made wonderful use of our favourite Trio-era characters too, ie. it was lovely to see Neville :D

and fabulous us of families demonstrating the effects of war!! (I am having vague St Mungo's-related plunnies atm. You are not helping with endearing injured characters, Val.)

Lots of hugs and love from your should-be-studying-for-exams mate xoxoxo

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Review #19, by PaulaTheProkaryote (8)

27th March 2016:
I had every single intention of reviewing this chapter by chapter. Then I got completely sucked into the story.

You haven't updated in months (at all this year) and I'm sure you're busy with your other WIPs...BUT YOU CAN'T LEAVE IT THERE!

I have to know more! I love Eloise. She's probably the best OC of all time. ALL TIME. She is so complex and interesting and slightly flawed which makes her even stronger of a character.

You really bring out Cormac's charm without breaking his character. He's a big, fat, whiny baby but he's also got another side that Harry never bothered with so of course we never saw it in canon. I love, love, love your characterization of him.

All of your Hufflepuffs are brilliant. They each have their own personality and feel very realistic.

I also adore the way you've intertwined canon so flawlessly in your story. This really feels like the bits we didn't get.

So, overall, I love your story and I'm not too proud to beg that you continue it. SERIOUSLY. I promise I'll review incessantly and you'll be happy and I'll be happy and we will all be happy, but you just can't leave it on that kind of cliffhanger! What is wrong with Cormac? Is he jealous? Maybe it has to do with Hermione? I don't know, but I need to know!

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Review #20, by nott theodore (8)

6th January 2016:
Hello, love! ♥ Ah, I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to get to reading and reviewing this - Christmas and New Year just turned out to be crazily busy and I've been snatching bits of time to spend on HPFF because I really want to be more active this year (and I'm procrastinating essays, which always helps :P).

This was such an interesting chapter! There's so much going on here that I loved. I really liked the way you opened it with Eloise being back at home for Christmas and the way that it feels so different being back with family when you've been away for a while. It's different since Eloise is still being taken care of at Hogwarts and she's with her friends, but I think you captured that sense of homecoming - and the way parents take care of you again - really well. I liked the Midgeon household as well.

The spell to help Vincent manage with his deafness is so clever! I don't know how you came up with it but I thought it was such a brilliant idea to include something like that - I've always really wondered what magical versions of medical aids would exist in the HP world and I always love reading about details like that. The explanation of how it worked, with the letters changing in size depending on the volume and proximity of the speaker, was so interesting! I could see how it'd get to be annoying for Vincent, though, if people are shouting or having a conversation that he doesn't want to be a part of. I kind of wonder whether or not he'll use that in the future, in the war... It could prove really useful but also dangerous too, if he does.

Your descriptions ♥ I loved the part when you described the snow crying. It's such a different image - so striking and unusual - and it really had an impact.

I felt so sorry for Eloise when she was talking about the work she does in the Hospital Wing. Of course, I think it's great that she's doing it and it's clearly something she enjoys and is good at, but even so, it's a lot for her to see and deal with. It's so horrible that so many young people are dealing with those problems, and the Carrows haven't even taken over yet - if she's still at Hogwarts next year, it'll surely just get worse.

Hmm, I'm so curious about what's going on with Cormac! He's so rude to her at the end of this chapter, which is just unacceptable and unless there's a good reason for it, I feel like it'll take quite a while for Eloise to forgive him (though she's a lot more forgiving than I am, I'm sure). My theories right now are that he might be jealous, or there could be something else going on? Something more serious, perhaps? I'm so intrigued - hopefully you get chance to write another chapter soon so I can find out!

This was a great chapter and I really loved reading it! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #21, by nott theodore (7)

1st December 2015:
Hello again, lovely!

Ah, this was an even better chapter! I actually think it might be my favourite one so far and now I'm just left wanting more (and tell me next time you update because I am terrible at checking social media and I miss lots of things, yes please? :P).

Your writing is just... I'm so jealous of your writing, you know that? It flows so smoothly (you edit so well, I never notice any typos at all in this) and it's just all so believable that I love reading it (I don't have tonnes of time right now - really need some sleep :P - so sorry if this review is a little shorter than usual!).

Your dialogue is so brilliant! It flows so naturally - it always sounds exactly like the sort of conversation that you're trying to capture with it and that's so great, because it works really smoothly and it's so easy to get a good reading of the dynamic between the characters who are involved.

And your descriptions ♥ I've said about this in other reviews, I'm sure, and you already know how much I love your writing (like all of it, I want to read all the stories :P) but your description here was amazing. I loved the imagery with the sunsets in particular - that line just grabbed me when I was reading, and I sat back a bit like 'wow'. You manage to balance the description so well with the rest of the narrative and dialogue and that takes a lot of skill, and just goes to show how great your writing is.

Eloise and Cormac ♥ I kind of wanted to see a little bit of that scene between them from Cormac's point of view too, but it was so great to read more about them! I love the way that you're staying true to Eloise's character, though, and even though she's finding herself attracted to him (Susan was so right!), nothing has happened yet - she's not the sort of girl who would rush into anything, especially at this sort of time. But it was so great seeing more interaction between them, and a little bit of flirting, and finding out more about Cormac's family as well. And some of the dialogue was just hilarious :P I can't wait to read more of the two of them together!

It was great to read that things seem to be going a little bit better for Eloise and her family, too, at the moment - I just really hope it lasts and that there's nothing terrible that happens over the holidays. It's great her brother is regaining some of his hearing! And I liked the way you showed the Ministry is trying to maintain a veil of normality with the Quidditch games and things like that while the war is going on, too - it seems like the sort of thing that would happen there, for sure - and sometimes it might even be what's needed, so people don't forget themselves and forget how to have fun when everything is difficult.

One of my favourite things about this story is your characterisation; so often, when I read stories featuring Hufflepuff characters, they're all so similar, and just all so nice. And while that's true for most of them, generally, I love the way that in this story you capture the different personalities, and the individual traits - like the way that Zach can be really annoying, and Eloise's language - and really make sure that they're included so your characters are fully-formed.

The friendship between this group is great, too, and I loved the way that they treated Eloise as much as they could for her birthday, and that they'd been planning it for a while. The birthday gifts were perfect, too, and so sweet - the little things like that really show how close-knit this group of friends is, and I really hope that they manage to get through the war okay together!

Another wonderful chapter, Val, and I'm looking forward to the next time you get a chance to update this! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #22, by nott theodore (6)

1st December 2015:
Val ♥ ♥ ♥ You, as always, are far too lovely - I didn't realise that there were two new chapters of this story up that I'd missed, and you dedicated this one to me ♥

I love this story so much, and it's so good to see it developing here. I really liked the way that the shorter scenes at the start of this chapter gave us an insight into the way that life at Hogwarts is trying to continue in spite of the war that's going on outside the school walls, which is slowly creeping in and affecting the lives of the students that live there.

It was great to see the little snippets of Cormac and Eloise on their own with their friends and to see how they're both beginning to notice each other independently more and more - how even their friends around them are starting to notice that, too. In a way, it's really lovely that something so ordinary - and yet new and brilliant - can happen in the midst of the war that's raging around them. It shows the way that life goes on and these students won't let it take away everything from them, even if their families and their lives are affected by it.

The feelings that they're getting for each other - more Cormac in this chapter, it seems - are so cute ♥ He seems to be falling for her quite badly already and I'm so intrigued to see more of this!

I loved the scene between Eloise and Cormac, too! I'm so glad that she apologised - I think she probably had a right to shout at him, in the circumstances, but there could have been reasons for Cormac missing the library session that she didn't know about - if there were, I'm intrigued to find out what was behind it. And they've rearranged the tutoring to happen tonight! Yay, I'm so excited to see more of the two of them together and see their acquaintance/friendship/relationship (whatever it is exactly that's going on between them right now :P) developing!

The ending of the chapter was so intriguing! I love seeing Eloise working in the hospital wing, because it really adds in another dimension to what happened at Hogwarts and the opportunities that were available to students there. It maybe even foreshadows what her role in the battle might be?

The Slytherins - Malfoy and Blaise - were really well written. I wasn't expecting the two of them to be the boys who walked in at the end, but at the same time I thought you wrote them really well. There wasn't the same sense of familiarity that we get when we read about Malfoy from Harry's perspective and that worked because Eloise isn't the sort of person who's encountered him as much, I imagine. Their hostility towards her at the beginning of the interaction made a lot of sense; I liked the way that it showed Slytherins aren't completely uncaring (because I hate that trope) and that they're protective of their own. As sad as the last scene was, I thought it was so effective - you did a great job showing how far-reaching this war is, and the way that it's affecting everyone, no matter what house they're in or what age they are. Aloysius is just a little boy, really, and I'm so impressed with the way you added a whole new dimension to the Parkinson family and I felt so sorry for him.

As always, this was another wonderful chapter, Val! Reading onto chapter seven now!

Sian :)

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Review #23, by nott theodore (5)

11th August 2015:
Salut, Val! ♥ And aw, I got a mention in this chapter - you're more than welcome, because I'm always excited to catch up with another chapter of this wonderful story! ♥

I really think you did a fantastic job of portraying the group of friends after the events of yesterday, when Hannah's left the school and the rest of them have to stay behind, not knowing what to do. I can't really imagine how it would feel to know that your best friend's mum has been murdered and you can't do anything about it to help her. And on top of that, it's not the only incident; so many of these Hufflepuffs have already got family who have suffered at the hands of, or been killed by, the Death Eaters and it's so sad that they're being forced to relive the trauma that it first caused them because of this incident. Then there's the fact that they're all so young and shouldn't have to go through that pain and loss and worry that this is what their lives will be consumed by in the next few years. They shouldn't have to accept that murder and death is going to become so commonplace for them.

I'm kind of curious that McLaggen actually cared enough to apologise, since he doesn't seem like the sort of person who would do that often, and I'm intrigued about what reason he was going to provide for not having made it to the tutoring session when Eloise was waiting for him. Maybe we'll find out from his perspective soon? But he really picked his moment badly, approaching her when she's already fed up of people staring at her because one of their friends is missing at the school, and I don't blame her for shouting at him, to be honest, with everything she's endured recently.

I love the way you're portraying the Hufflepuffs in this story! I think that sometimes, authors don't give them enough of a personality - they're all the same, kind and loyal, but there's so much more to everyone than that and I like the fact you're showing it here. They can be mean and tough if they're doing it from loyalty, and the group of them stick together. I really liked Eloise's interaction with the older students too, and the way that all of them are starting to realise that they need to look out for each other.

Poor Henry! That's such an awful thing for him to have had to go through and witness - I'm glad that at least he has his friends around him and they want to take care of him, although his comment about not being able to believe he wasn't still broken until other people stopped treating him that way was really accurate and insightful. I liked the friendship between him and Eloise though, and the way that they joke together about literature and things.

It didn't seem strange to me at all that Eloise seemed so comfortable with the Hufflepuff boys - I was glad that she was, and that they were good enough friends to want to look after her and Susan! It makes sense to me, since the Hufflepuffs are loyal anyway and look after each other, but they've been in school together for over five years by this point so they probably would have formed a friendship like this by now. I think that part of the reason Eloise seems so quiet and shy from what we know of her is that she probably is around those she doesn't know well or isn't comfortable with - the only glimpse we get of her in the books is from afar - but then when she's with people she considers friends, she's a lot more open.

I feel so sorry for the group, though I was glad to see them all together and talking about things - not being able to contact Hannah can't make things any easier for them, since they don't know what's happening and feel like they're cut off from her, almost as if they've lost her as well. I really liked Wayne in this chapter, too - he's so sensible, and he really seems to have grasped what's going to happen with this war, and the way that they need to stick together to make it through everything that's going to happen to them during it. It was so sweet to see him remembering the human factor of it, the loss and the pain, and trying to encourage them all to stick around. He seems like a great person to have around.

This was a great chapter, Val! I hope you manage to keep writing and congratulations on passing your exams and first year! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #24, by nott theodore (4)

7th March 2015:
Val! Yay, you're back writing again and I'm now up-to-date with this story - hopefully this is enough to convince you that this chapter was great and that you should continue writing more of this story!

It was really horrible of Cormac not to turn up at the library when they'd organised to do it the day before - Eloise doesn't have to give up her time to help him improve his Herbology grade and it's so rude of him to leave her waiting there without any explanation of why he hasn't arrived. I wonder why he didn't arrive, though, and whether it was because he was nervous or forgot or just couldn't be bothered. He seemed keen on going and spending time with Eloise when they agreed to meet in the library yesterday!

It's a tiny thing, but I really like the way that you don't forget to include all of the work that they have in sixth year here, because we know that they felt snowed under with the increase in the workload. But you managed to write that in a way that kept it interesting, and I felt sorry for Eloise and how stressed she was with all the work she had to do. When you think of all the other things she had to do, it was even meaner of Cormac to leave her waiting.

I really like the friendship between Eloise and Susan here in this chapter, and the way that you write the dialogue between the two of them makes it seem like a very natural friendship, and the two are so believable. It's like your characters breathe, and could be real - in the books we barely get a mention of Eloise Midgeon and there's only a little more about Susan Bones, but here they seem like fully-rounded characters.

I really liked Susan's desire and drive for revenge, and her anger at the way things have happened in the Ministry and the lack of news in the Prophet after the change of Minister. It's an understandable reaction to her aunt's death, and we know that she was in the DA last year too, so that desire to fight and do the right thing was really convincing and believable. I love the idea of her reading Ministry papers illegally - Hufflepuffs are often portrayed as just nice people, and kind of boring, so I love the fact that you made them individuals here and that they're just as fun as other people.

Susan's comment on bravery was so true! I can imagine that Eloise would feel like she wasn't as brave as Susan with all of the things that Susan says, but also since she wasn't a part of the DA last year, but bravery really is standing up for your convictions. After all, Neville's in Gryffindor because he's so brave and loyal, but that comes out in very different ways to someone like Harry, for example.

I really liked the little mention of how good-looking Cormac is, and that being part of the reason that Eloise had agreed to tutor him. It's nice to see that even though she's not going to be easily won over (or as easily won over as Cormac would hope), she is still affected by his looks.

Getting called to the headmaster's office is never good news for someone like Eloise, and it's horrible to see that the war's now affected her own family very personally. I really liked the way that she reacted to the news when her father told her - it was so believable, and the fact that her father didn't tell her off for swearing said a lot, too.

Poor Vince! I don't know what his stance really is in this war, but I'm pretty sure that nobody in the WWN building actually deserved to be attacked in any way, and for him to lose his hearing completely in the attack, and at such a young age as well, is awful. I loved the way that Eloise treated it though, trying not to make a big deal of it but still visiting the library to see what she could do to help.

Then, just when I thought that things couldn't get any worse, Eloise returns to school and finds out that Hannah's left because her mum's been murdered. I feel so sorry for all three of the Hufflepuff girls because of that, since Susan thought she was being left alone and Eloise's brother's been attacked and Hannah's mum's been killed. It really goes to show how far-reaching this war is, and how indiscriminate the attacks are. Susan's realisation that she's just a child and can't do anything was kind of sad, but when you remember what she does as part of the DA in her seventh year, you realise what 'children' can do.

This was a great chapter, Val - I hope that you have inspiration to write some more of this story soon, I'm still really enjoying it!

Sian :)

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Review #25, by nott theodore (3)

7th March 2015:
Val! ♥ How on earth have I missed two chapter updates on this story? Here to rectify the lack of reviews on them now!

I really liked the way that you opened this chapter, with Eloise getting frustrated by the lack of privacy that she has and wanting to get away from people so that she gets some time to herself. Without explicitly saying anything about it, you've added something to Eloise's characterisation and an element of her personality. I also liked the detail too, because I can imagine that at Hogwarts it would be difficult to get time to yourself.

I really liked the idea of Eloise going to the greenhouses to go and do some work there; it's helped to give us an idea about what she enjoys as a student and also showed another side to her character. I love the idea of Professor Sprout letting some of her favourite students come and spend their time in the greenhouses and do some work with the plants. She definitely seems like the sort of teacher who's more maternal in some ways than McGonagall, and I imagine that she'd really take care of the students in her house.

It was great to see Neville in the greenhouses as well! I love the idea of him being able to escape from things and spend some time in the greenhouses, which would be really good preparation for him if he was going to become the Herbology teacher in the future, as we know he does. You wrote him very well - his portrayal was definitely in character and I liked the idea of his friendship with Eloise, as well as Eloise's thoughts on him being a member of Gryffindor house. I can imagine them being friends with each other and that friendship growing out of the different scenarios that you described here in that section.

It was great to see the way that you segued into Cormac's point of view from the section about Eloise. I really like the idea of him being interested in her because she's elusive and unobtainable, even if she isn't actually making any effort to appear that way. It's different for him not to have girls falling at his feet and so it's great to see him obsessing over Eloise and wanting to meet her again and finding out her name. I also really liked the anger when he saw that she was with Neville, and the arrogance that shrouded his thoughts when he wondered how on earth Neville could compare with him; that felt very in character from what we know of Cormac so far.

The continuation into the Potions lesson was great, as we got to see more of him and learn a little more about his character - he actually is clever but he often doesn't bother using his brains or making an effort. The inclusion of Amortentia was interesting, too. I wonder whether what Cormac smelt in the potion will be connected to Eloise in the future.

From there I really liked the way that the story flowed through to his Herbology lesson, and there he suddenly encounters Eloise in a way that he's probably been hoping for. I loved the detail about Sprout's salary being partially related to how people achieve in their NEWTs because that really seemed believable.

And then Cormac's presented with this opportunity, to be tutored by Eloise, and I really like the way that you've thought of to throw the two of them together and make them spend time with each other - I suspect that, even if Cormac was willing to, Eloise wouldn't have been that interested in spending time with him outside of tutoring, at least initially, if someone had asked her to. I really liked the way that she kept her cool and reminded him of his appearance in the hospital wing, too, which embarrassed him - she's definitely not going to make things easy for him, and I'm looking forward to seeing where things go from here!

Sian :)

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