Reading Reviews for Life is Beautiful...
  
41 Reviews Found

Review #1, by NevunaRomione Everything rightens itself out...

4th December 2007:
I think this is pretty great. I love the character Kristy, you've written her so well.
The only thing I didn't like was that Sirius, in some parts, was a little bit OOC.
Other than that, though, I seriously like this story, a lot.
9/10 :)

Author's Response: I know, I wrote it post-OotP, I've tried to revamp it a bit though. I'll work on the OOC-ness because in retrospect I agree with you :)
Thanks for the awesome rating!


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Review #2, by Cedrics_gurl Everything rightens itself out...

8th October 2007:
Well, I must say you've created an interesting character! I like the way you only referred to her appearance every so often as I am a fan of personality development rather than appearance! Well done!

However some of your speech was a little formal and a few times I noticer that their relationship moved a little fast, not that that's a bad thing, but perhaps if you lengthened it a little you could give off a more romantic feel! For instance the longer you keep them a apart the more realistic it will seem!

Well done, I really liked the ending!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Yeah, since it's a one shot I was not able to convey that.. but I probably should expand and edit!
Thanks for your pointers :)


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Review #3, by JesseBlack Everything rightens itself out...

7th October 2007:
:) nice, please update soon! although the song lyrics were a bit confusing other than that, it's great!

Author's Response: Aww thanks! I'm not planning to continue this though. It was a one shot written for a chellnge :)

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Review #4, by KawaiiAce2003 Everything rightens itself out...

4th October 2007:
This was so corny it made me laugh, in a good way. I liked how Kristy made Sirius feel better considering how sucky his family is. And I loved the ending where he was dense on how he didn't know she liked him. All in all I'd give it a 7/10 because it was, as I said, corny and a little cliche. BUT I will give you another point for the ending line, that really made up for it!!

8.5/10!! :)

Author's Response: Yeah in retrospect I feel it's a little corny too. Let me see if I can spruce it up a bit :)

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Review #5, by Andromedatonks Everything rightens itself out...

1st October 2007:
Okay, overall this was pretty good, but somewhat cliched. And we didn't really get to see the development of their relationship. Also, I think Sirius was out of character when he started talking about how lost he felt. I can't see him sharing these feelings with anyone. Sirius is not a whiner, and he doesn't spend much time thinking about his problems; instead he pretends he's perfectly okay and that life is beautiful, and does something to cheer himself up. For example, tells Snape how to get into the tunnel leading to the Shrieking Shack. At least that's how I see him in canon.
Also, it's a bit weird when they say all these song lyrics. I know they are not singing, as you stated, but it's still weird.
The kissing scene was very well done, and the whole it was very cute and rather enjoyable.
I'm sorry if I was too harsh, but I said that I would be honest.
~andromeda

Author's Response: I wanted your honesty! It's reviews like these that help me grow. Thank you so much for heading over here and helping me out :)

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Review #6, by Hermionesclass101 Everything rightens itself out...

30th September 2007:
That was a pretty cute chapter. I like the original way in which you use the song lyrics. Good job! =]

~Hermionesclass

Author's Response: Thank you so much ;)

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Review #7, by donnamichelle Everything rightens itself out...

30th September 2007:
Brilliant! Very nice. I loved it. 10/10 I'm going to start on the Forced Enemies now but give me time to read it. :p

Author's Response: Ooh okay! I hope u liked FE

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Review #8, by singerhotti24 Everything rightens itself out...

30th September 2007:
haha.sooo cute! i love this story...you should have made it into a chapter one thats rele long...i like kristy, and your perception of sirius. amazing story :P

(and yes, i would like a banner.lol. that would be awesome! there's a girl named "greta smidt" on myspace (music) .and i think she's rele pretty and would do well for the girl.whoever you're using for the guy as sirius, he's good...lol. thanks so mcuh! i rele appreacite it!

Author's Response: Hey, I'm sorry I couldn't get around to making you a banner! I just dropped off the face of this earth for a looong time!

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Review #9, by Pri Everything rightens itself out...

31st August 2007:
Reallly liked it. it has been well written and the way it is scripted definately deserves an applause. The entire chapter was amazing, although the later half of the chapter seemed to get hold of me and let me tell you that i had a smile on my face from the time Kristy asked Sirius what he would do without her till the end...
The romantic focus of the chapter has been portrayed just like another fairy tale but its not 'just another tale'... the chemistry n d timing between sirus and kristy is brilliant and the dialogues...from the sarcastic to d gr8 philosophy of life..hav been written well...
The concept is really nice... and the dialogues enhance it even more.
At the end of all this, according to me a great chapter as such..but the major spot light of it is the Sirius-Kristy sarcastic talk and the blooming friendship between the two... gr8 goin gal!!

Author's Response: Hey Pri!
Good to see you here :)
Thank you so much for your feedback, am glad you like it :)


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Review #10, by mbstargirl123 Everything rightens itself out...

18th June 2007:
I love this story! It makes me feel so fuzzy inside! And how could Sirius be so dense? Well, most guys are. hehehehehe You are a talented writer! Not many people can pull off the forced kissing scenes, but you did! It was great! 10/10!

Author's Response: Thank you so much :) I'm so glad that you feel good reading my story :)

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Review #11, by magic29 Everything rightens itself out...

16th June 2007:
Hey Princesslily_36!

So you requested a review so, here I am, OK onto the story.

1) Organization and spacing: Pretty well organized, it's easy to separate the song from the actual story, and you never forgot your spacing, which gave the chapter an inviting appearance, so that's full marks in this category. (2/2)


2) Paragraphs and pacing: Your paragraphs for the most part are OK, but you have a few huge ones that are nearly impossible to read, like the one at the beginning of the chapter (The one that starts with She knew) So I'm going to have to take a mark off for that. It's slightly rushed too, not enough for me to take a mark off, but you might want to add a bit more to get it to flow better (1/2)


3) Length: Good length, not too long, not too short, but you could definitely risk lengthening it a bit, to add a bit more description which is the only thing that is really missing here, that is if you want too, the length is more then fine, it's just my opinion (1/1)


4) Grammar and spelling: Pretty good, there's a sentence that really annoyed me (In general comments) but other than that you did really well in this category (2/2)


5) Characterization and Writing style: You did a pretty good job on Sirius, he's very canon, most people make him out to be a complete airhead *shakes fist at said authors*, I'm glad that isn't the case here. I like your writing style, it's pretty good, what impressed me about it was how well written your OC (Kristy) is, she's really very lovable, but not Mary-sueish in the least, THANK GOD!! (As you can see I'm not fond of Mary-sues) Full marks again (2/2)

So you have received (9/10)

General comments:

The line wondering why ever he was born confused me for a bit, it's not wrong but it's annoying, well to me at least. Remember your story, what you want goes ;)

The only thing missing here was a bit more description, other than that it's perfect, and the song adds a good flavor to the mix. The whole thing was really quite cute :D

The ending made me laugh, Sirius can be thick at times. I loved it.

The whole one-shot was very real; I could just see something like that happening, Sirius getting all upset about his family, and his special someone coming to cheer him up.

Overall, I'd say it's a job very well done. I hope this review helped a little, I'll be back to review the other stories in an hour or two (After chores *groans*), until then.

Cheers,
Magic



Author's Response: Aww, your chores must be a big pain.

I'm so glad you loved my Sirius. I share your anger towards the air-head-headcanon-sirius folks.

I did eel it was too short, I could have made it longer to get the feel of their romance. I'm thinking of editing it and your comments really help. Thank you so much :)


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Review #12, by xMarauderx Everything rightens itself out...

10th June 2007:
Hey ysh...nice and cute one shot! It was really nice and what I liked best was Sirius and Kristy's playful bantering! It was too cute!

I have an advice to you, see this: She laid a gentle (and a well manicured, I must say) hand on his shoulder.

I'll suggest you to not write any Author's Note or anything like, "I'll say" in the brackets. It kinda disconnects the fic and well, makes it look, kiddish!

And yeah, for song fics, you shouldn'tmake it as though the main characters are singing the song, coz it makes it sound Bollywod-ish lol

Apart from that...really cute one shot! I liked the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th n etc etc etc number of kisses :"> :">:">

Author's Response: Well yea I agre with you about the A/N thing... I dunno what iwas thinking when i put it there...

And no they werent singing it!!! i just saw what made people think it and will go to edit it!!!

Thanks for liking it re and reading it too >:D< luvya loads

Ysh


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Review #13, by Tinkerbell626 Everything rightens itself out...

9th June 2007:
It's Brunilocks from the Got Fanfic Team

Aww...it was cute.

Now, Kristy was very original. I liked how described Sirius from her POV, it was different. Having her sing out the song lyrics was unique, I'll give you that, but in ways it was sort of awkward. The little bickering they did was funny. That brings me to Sirius. A tad OOC, but it gradually got into place. and as always Sirius' cluelessness at the end was a great way to end this fic.

There were a few mistakes. I believe that mauderer's map would be capitalized. mischievous... there is an 'i' between the v and o. A few others too, but I lost track. Overall, it was very readable and I enjoyed it. It was well written. Keep at it! ;


Author's Response: Thanks for comine over Burnilocks!!!

Well she wasnt singing the lyrics ill tell you that! she was saying them!!!!

And yea i think i will capitalize the MM... thyanks for rining that to my notice!

And thanks a lot for reading my fic andreviewing!!! I appriciate the time and effort!!!!


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Review #14, by Proud Hufflepuff Everything rightens itself out...

9th June 2007:
It's Carrie from the Got Fanfic? team.

Overall, your idea is really good and I liked it. Just a few things that I need to point out.

It's very awkward when you make the characters say the song lyrics. You can make them say the lyrics, but the lyrics need to be seperate. Does that make any sense? I apologize if it doesn't. Also, you have some grammatical errors and run on sentences. There's no need for more than one punctuation mark unless it is '?!'

I hope the review helped and good luck!

Carrie

Author's Response: Well first of all let me clear this out! Many people have said this and i want to say that they did not sing the lyrics... they said it... and thats why they are seperate!!!!

And yes I will take your advice on the punctuation!!!!!

Thanks a lot for your review and time!!!!


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Review #15, by LilyJamesPotter Everything rightens itself out...

9th June 2007:
Great Story!!!

It was really really very cool! I mean I never thought I'd find a person suffering with something like depression this romantic. Well Sirius is Sirius. Makes everything around him seem sexy!

Great One Shot!


Author's Response: You know i couldnt agree with you more!!!! thank you so much for liking my story and reviewing it!!!!

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Review #16, by Namz Everything rightens itself out...

9th June 2007:
my earlier review was a bit primitive...i agree.i am so jealous of kristy.she is very well etched out.sirius has a great sense of humour wich i admire and the ending line was a great twist to the plot...princesslily. please add more chapters.looking forwars to more of sirius black

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing namz!

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Review #17, by Namz Everything rightens itself out...

9th June 2007:
col.love it.reply now.i hate kristy!

Author's Response: Thankz Nams

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Review #18, by marauder_lover Everything rightens itself out...

8th June 2007:
Awwh, very cute. I really like the way you managed to get the actual conversation to have lyrics in it make it fit really well. There's a great mix of like angstyness and then fluff and jokes (mainly at the end). Sirius is daft lol but you gotta love him though lol!
Awesome

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for taking the time to review!!!! and also for recognising that it is not sung by them!!!!

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Review #19, by ChizzaLazty Everything rightens itself out...

8th June 2007:
Oh - I loved the last line, so funny!!

Hmm, where to start, where to start? I guess I'll start with the CC: In the summary you've written "handosme" instead of "handsome". Just thought you should know :p

In the third paragraph there are some questions which are in the present tense, while the rest of the text is in past tense. Scroll down a bit and you will see there's a " missing. And I could be wrong at this, but I think Marauder's Map should be capitalized. I'm not sure, though... *goes off to check the lexicon* Yup, it's capitalized...

There are also a couple of places where you should've added a comma, but in general I thought the writing was very good. I enjoyed it, didn't have to get annoyed over all the spelling and grammar mistakes (because there weren't any that I noticed except those few!)

In the beginning there were two senteces in parentesis. I loved those sentences, I thought they were so funny! But if I were you, I'd re-write the sentence where the first parentesis is inserted. I mean, the sentence that isn't in the parentesis. It seemed a bit odd and unorganized when it didn't have an "and" before the last "he was", and there was no "he was" before "charismatic", which would be okay if there were many words without it. With only one, though, I'd rather change it.

Okay, from the writing to the plot. I think some people would find it somewhat clichè, but I don't think so. I mean, it had its moments, but for the most part I thought it was pretty different.

Like Kirsty, I think she was very original. She seemed like a very good OC, and I liked the name you chose for her. I decided not to think that she's Dean Thomas' mother, I mean, he would've been named after his father, right? Perhaps she was his aunt? Or is, for that matter?

Okay, that's a bit off topic - it just got me curious.

About Kristy, I feel that, even though I don't know much about her (I liked that you didn't tell us so much about her, her background, her interests etc.), I feel like I got to know her pretty well all the same.

I absolutely loved how you described Sirius from Kristy's point of view. I mean, his looks were somewhat normal to what everyone thinks he lookes like (in the fanon world, at least), but the way you described him, the words you used, the way you made it become a part of the story instead of making me feel like I was reading the sidenotes. That was brilliant, I really liked that!

Towards the end, I had a good feeling about it. And yes, it did stay until the very last word - I liked the ending a lot. I love fluff *blushes and giggles* Well, as I said, the final words were worth gold and silver! Brilliant! (and so in character, btw :p )

I always like to say what I think about the length. I think the length of this fic was very good! Not too long, but not too short, either. It made perfect sense to end it where you did, and you did all the explaining/describing you had to before finishing it off (meaning I don't think you should've added any more detail, more action, more thoughts etc., it was good the way it was!) So that was good...

The song lyrics sort of confused me there for a minute. I didn't quite follow on whether they were all sung or whether just a couple of them were. I'm leaning towards the latter, but both of them works more or less, so it doesn't really matter.

All in all, I really liked it. I don't know what more to say, except good luck with your other stories/stories to come!

Christina

Author's Response: You really took your time with that review. I'm so glad you liked the fluff, I was a bit worried it was moving away from canon.

Thank you for pointing out the little errors. I shouldn't be too lazy to get myself a beta *sigh*

I was worried that Kristy might come out to be too girly for Sirius, but I'm glad you seem to think she's okay :)


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Review #20, by DracoGirl Everything rightens itself out...

8th June 2007:
I love the plot line using Sirius's strengths (no pun intendended... lol) to get the o/c. This seems like a very strong one-shot (Although i wish there was more) And the cliff-hanger (sort of) at the end is great. I don't remember exactly what its called but theres a term for it when the audience knows more about whats going on then the actors...

Please please please write a sequal or something!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing~~~

I apriciate it and am glad you really like my one-shot! will think about a sequel


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Review #21, by gal_luvs_sirius Everything rightens itself out...

7th June 2007:
sirius is so cute! i love him when he is jealous!

Author's Response: That makes 2 of us! lol

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Review #22, by Siriusly in Love Everything rightens itself out...

7th June 2007:
i love sirius! ok do i say anything more in my reivews? lol
great one-shot! i like your one-shots very much!

Author's Response: Thank you

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Review #23, by SiriusBlacksGF Everything rightens itself out...

7th June 2007:
kirsten put me on to this! loving it as i always say to your stories!

nd love your OC too

great job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!!

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Review #24, by kristin Everything rightens itself out...

7th June 2007:
well i dont know how i could have missed this one shot of yours but i am glad that i checked in!

sirius is just too good! and that last line blasted me!!!

great job

Author's Response: Tahnks a lot for reviewing

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Review #25, by ter Everything rightens itself out...

6th June 2007:
haha great job!! Very cute.
you know whats funny?
my name is kristy (kris) im short, and i have black hair.
hehe!

Author's Response: lol what a coincidence!!!!!!! thanks for reviewing!

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