1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ernie_the_Dino 

18th September 2017:
Okay, I really like your Rose and Roxie interaction, but the other dialogue feels too forced and unnatural.

You need to use shorter sentences in between long ones, and you don't need three adjectives when one will do - use a thesaurus to cut down your description into something succinct, it makes it a much easier read - and you want it to be an easy read.

I love Scorose, so I hope you keep writing, but maybe not about every single thought that occurs to Rose, if she's anything like her mother, some of those thoughts are quite tedious to read if they're not written facetiously.

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