3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HermyLuna2 

6th April 2016:
Hi Princesslily, I'm sorry for not reviewing sooner (I will review the other chapters when I am done with my study and other reviews) but I just wanted to pass by to say that contrary to what is said in the other review I do think that the part with Sirius being bold to his father is fantastic, nrmally I would think of such a scene as cliched but in this case it fits very well because it emphasizes his reckless/mischievous character and relationship with his parents, it was my favorite part, very good job

Author's Response: Hello HermyLuna,

That's okay, I'm still glad you are continuing to follow this story, and that you took the time to leave a review. RL sure comes first.

Thank you for your feedback, and while you do seem to feel that Sirius' boldness was fantastic, I begin to wonder if it is age-appropriate. The way you feel about it is the exact personality I wanted to portray to the readers, and I'm glad it came across. I'll definitely keep your thoughts in mind when I re-edit this chapter.

Thank you once again for leaving a review.

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Review #2, by Unwritten Curse 

25th March 2016:
YSH. Your dedication made me cry. In a good way. I'm so grateful to have you as a friend. Many, many hugs.

And oh how I loved this chapter. Especially for the Sirius/Adhara stuff at the end--how cute are they?--but there were such fantastic moments throughout. I loved that Andromeda and Ted sent Sirius a gift. I'm so glad that they stay in touch despite the family disowning Andromeda. I'm glad that Sirius has some family who love him, who stick by him. The more I think about it, the more of a tragic character he becomes. But he does have good friends and people who love him, so I'm going to hold on to that happy thought and ignore his impending doom. *cough* Anyway…

The kiss was perfect. I loved the banter beforehand--it was such adorable flirting, especially for young teens. They wouldn't flirt directly, so this teasing is so fitting. And that the kiss sort of just happened was perfect, too. It was like: kiss, okay bye! hahaha

I really like the subplot with Dorcas as well. That her father cheated on her mother before they were married, but her mother forgave him. Usually I wouldn't like that. I do NOT like cheating and 9 times out of 10, I want the party that was cheated on to break up with the cheater. But somehow you wrote the situation in such a heart-breaking way that I thought Dorcas's mother was strong and kind and that she did the right thing in staying with him. He hadn't meant to hurt her. And now Dorcas has a brother. I wonder how that will turn out.

My only constructive criticism is that I thought Sirius was a bit too cheeky with his father. He's only 13 here, right? He seemed a bit too bold with his dad, and his dad seemed to just take it for the most part. I would imagine that before he leaves, he becomes more bold. But he still has a couple years at home, so I imagine part of him is still afraid of/intimidated by his father.

Just some thoughts!

I really did like this chapter, though. A lot of great development and some moments that made me smile. I can't wait to read the next update!


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Review #3, by Owlpost68 

20th March 2016:
This was great :)
to see the conception of the order of the pheonix idea in James and his family, the changes happening for dorcas, and seeing the start of Sirius' collection of posters with Andromedas' and Teds' gift. I did think it was appropriate Sirius said what he did and where he got it from. He was a little tipsy and things like that come out when that happens :)
Sirius and Adhara, that was both funny, cute and touching. They're really starting to open up about each other. I thought your description of that scene was really spot on! the heat and then the chill in the air. it both described the weather and the situation accurately and poetically.
There were a couple of typos here and there, but nothing that interrupted too much.
Good job!

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