4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by victoria_anne 

30th April 2016:
Hi Ysh! ♥

(I'm only leaving a short review because I'm on my phone in the car - sorry!)

This. Chapter.

This chapter makes me very very very happy. I can't even tell you. It was full of banter, pranks, general hilarity from the Marauder Queen herself - all my favourite things in one chapter!!

Oh how you spoil me!

I especially love Peeves! You not only wrote him totes sah gud, but that rhyme! THE MARAUDERS ARE HERE HOORAY!!

Loved this chapter so so so much, it's definitely in my top 10 favourite chapters! (Yes, I have a list)

All my love,

B ♥ ♥

Author's Response: B!!! I love that you stopped by, and love you even more for that lovely reviews you're leaving.

Me? Spoil you? Now that's a joke! You're the one spoiling me with all these reviews and squees (blush)!

Peeves actually took over the scene only after I started writing it! I suddenly remembered the interaction between Peeves and Remus in PoA and decided there has to be a preamble to that one!

And OMG You have a list of top 10? Now that's something I'd love to hear about :D

Love you loads!
~Ysh


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Review #2, by Unwritten Curse 

18th March 2016:
Okay, I'm going to review as I read. That way I won't forget anything. Then to end the review I'll give you some suggestions to help with writers block. Just things that I'd (selfishly) love to see. You can take them or leave them--just want to help!

1. HOW IS FILCH GAINING ON THEM? Okay, he was younger when the marauders were in school. But these are fit young boys! How is an old guy gaining on them? (Silly things that I think as I read… haha.)

2. Jerk. He lied about seeing the four of them. Get 'em, marauders!

Intermission: I forgot to tell you that I adore your new banner! When did you get it? It's perfect.

3. I like that Gryffindor lost to Hufflepuff. It's realistic. I get sick of reading fics where Gryffindor wins every match. So thanks for throwing in that bit of reality.

4. I LOVE THAT PEEVES NAMED THE MARAUDERS. What a clever idea!

Also, you're so so sweet for dedicating this chapter to me. I have tears in my eyes! Ysh, you're a fantastic writer and I love reading this story. I really do! I'm excited for future chapters. :)

Okay, suggestions. Hopefully these help with writers block:

1. I miss seeing the marauders doing their Animagus stuff. You always come up with such interesting steps in the transformation process and I miss seeing that.

2. I'm looking forward to the Sirius/Adhara romance! ;)

3. I'm curious if/when the marauders gain a name for themselves among the other students. I always imagined they were (in)famous among their peers. How/when does that happen?

4. I know it's a couple years away, but I'm excited to see James and Lily as Prefects! Also, how does James become a Prefect when he keeps getting caught doing pranks? Does he amend his ways? Does he trick McGonagall into thinking he's changed?

5. Do we get any hints into Peter becoming the betrayer in the future?

6. What is Adhara's brother going to do now that he's back?

Those were most questions I have/things I'd love to see. This is your story so take what you will and leave the rest. You are a talented writer and I have faith in you--so please, have faith in yourself and whatever direction you take this story. :)

--Gina

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Review #3, by DragonPoxPixie 

29th February 2016:
So, I promised I would leave a review but as I was writing it it became a bit longer then expected haha. I planned to make it just one covering all chapters, but am afraid I have to break it up in a few more pieces! There are just so many things I want to include (and I don't really have the time to write it all in one go, that would take me weeks so I just decided to post what I have so far and add more each time I get to sit down and go over a few more chapters haha), 'cause a good story deserves a good review right!

Chapter One.
I loved the chance/choice opening, it's very cleverly written and shows a lot of promise for the rest of the story, it certainly got me very interested straight away.
11 year old Lily sounds absolutely adorable, the conversation she has with Snape is exactly like I would imagine any eleven year old who discovered she is magical interrogate someone who has more knowledge of that world about it. Snape from the start sounds a bit older then his age would have you assume, suggesting that he has had to deal with a fair bit more in life the Lily which definitely made me curious and wanting to read more about what life has been like for him up to that point.
Also I can clearly see why he is, from the start, attracted to her. Someone who is "like him" and yet unlike him still has a lot of innocence and is able to find joy in such small things.
And then Sirius, oh my how you described Regulus definitely brought a big smile to my face. Typical excited younger brother but without it feeling like a cliche. I also really liked your description of his mother and agreed with what you wrote about her in your AN, feeling like she wouldn't have started out as pure evil towards him but became so after he got sorted in Gryffindor. Adding the "Blood Purity Movement" was a very very nice touch! (You're really good at those things! It's just like the muggle-rights rally you mentioned in your one-shot).
And then Lupin! I said so before but this really is my favorite part. It feel so realistic and I just couldn't help but feel so excited for Remus! His parents seem incredibly sweet too and their hesitation and doubt can clearly be felt. Once again you delivered a great description of something which seems "typical" (them being concerned but wanting him to go/wanting what's best for him) but avoid it feel cliche.
"I don't want pancakes, I want my letter!"
I can just see him bouncing around! Absolutely adorable and again realistic. I think you have really done all the characters justice, capturing their characters in such short fragments and despite their young age. Showing their homes, the interaction with their parents, makes a very nice foundation for the rest of the story.
Peters little section was my favorite I think, mainly because he is one of the few characters I never thought about in that way/at that age. While the others were a confirmation of what I dreamed up this took my by surprise. But once one it felt completely believable. Also, I love his mother, she seems so sweet.

Chapter Two.
The first sentence is very strong. It clearly shows from the start that going to Hogwarts and being sorted in different Houses will make a big change in their relationship, wether they want to/like it or not.
And then James and Sirius! Poking the cat in the painting! This was such a wonderful scene! Clearly they already have a certain disregard for authority and are pretty mischievous! Again holding a lot of promise for the rest of the story for them to grow into the pranksters we know they will become!
Lily feeling homesick is a very nice touch as well, as homesickness isn't something we have seen a lot of in the series (which makes sense as I can't really see Vernon tucking Harry in every night) but does seem very realistic. After all, no matter how wonderful a Hogwarts is, it is a big deal for an eleven year old to leave home for such extended periods of time. Especially if they come from a loving one like Lily.
The boys dorm, I really liked how you showed their dynamics. It follows how you portrayed them in chapter one very well. Sirius and James getting on like wildfire, Remus holding back a bit, still in awe of being there and Peter really wanting to be liked but unsure of how to go about it.
The last part with Sirius being a bit scared of his mothers reaction showed him as a very three dimensional character instead of just the cocky, confidant joker. Bonus points for adding it!
It's a decent amount of new characters being introduced as well in this chapter but you managed to write it in such a way that it wasn't too much/become confusing. As I read this chapter I became curious to see which parts they would play. Especially Adhara as you wrote that her and Sirius' mothers know each other. Seems like he won't be the only one breaking with the family tradition and having to deal with the struggles that will lead to. Is it to early to sense a potential thing blossoming?
Oh and how could I forget, the muggle-money. They do have a point that it being paper is strange!

Chapter Three.
"Dad" hihihi. I adored how excited Remus was and how he was so kind to wake up the other boys. It is so in line with how we "know" him. And Sirius, it's the first day and already he's too-cool-for-school, and I just can't help but love him for it (team padfoot 4-ever!).
I enjoyed the interaction between Lily and Marlene as they discuss Severus/Slytherin and how it explained what has been said/shown at the start of the previous chapter.
Also, you again got me melting aways with your description of Remus, being so content with just being surrounded by others his age instead of being alone at home with his parents. You've captured the others very well but he is just exceptionally well written.
[have to break it off here as it won't let me paste more]

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Review #4, by Nameless 

25th February 2016:
Hi,

WOW! that is all i have to say right now. i don't have a lot of time to write a review at the moment. BUT... I just read through your whole story in one shot and i am itching for more.

Update soon, and i will write a better review next time!

CM

Author's Response: Thank you so much CM... it's lovely to know that you enjoyed the story, and I'm glad you really liked it. I'll be updating one chapter every two weeks, so keep a look out and let me know how you like it :)

Thank you for taking the time to stop by and tell me how you felt. It really does mean a lot to me :)


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