37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MuggleMaybe 

25th May 2016:
Hello darling! ♥ TAG

I'm SO excited to read this. It's high time, isn't it?

The little opening bit about chance and choice gave me the chills. Just perfect!

Oooh, oh oh oh! I'm excited about your Lily. ♥ I just LOVE child Lily moments, and this is perfect! You created a wonderful scene - I think the blade of grass is a particularly nice touch, and I LOVE how she is oblivious to what we know are signs of Snape's not always savory character. They're both very much in character. Snape reads a little older than 11 to me, but then again I suspect he would have been old for his age, so that is a nice touch in its own right.

This little intro for Sirius is different from what I usually see. A lot of people paint the Blacks as horrible people right from the start, but I found your interpretation much more true to life. This life is what Sirius has always known, it's normal for him. Of course, we know from the books that he isn't enamored with Slytherin or blood purity when he starts at Hogwarts, but regardless, you show a relatively normal boy living a relatively normal wizarding childhood. I find that refreshingly honest. *nods approvingly*

OH MY MERLIN, YSH. Remus' section is just... kljfoiahefwfdsidhf. HOW did you manage to write Dumbledore so perfectly in character? I feel so sad for young Remus, in this story but also just, you know, always. I never thought about Dumbledore going to talk to his parents to arrange things, but it's entirely logical.

THIS QUOTE
--> Really? mused Dumbledore, undeterred Well, I dare say I agree. He does seem exceptionally skilled at Gobstones for such a young age. And his knowledge of hinkypunks -
YES YES YES. It is SO Dumbledore, and also BRB LAUGHING :D

I don't have a ton to say about James' section, since it's very happy and fun and doesn't introduce conflict like the others do. But that's exactly as it ought to be with James and you capture him so well!!

Aw, now, PETER is a different story from James, despite the similarly happy moment. You have giving the most perfectly telling insight on PeterRIGHT HERE:
--> If only they knew, he thought grudgingly. He had often considered telling them he was a wizard, but thought he would be ridiculed further.
Spot on! Also, his father as a traveling apothecary salesman is 110% my headcanon now. It fits so well.

Seriously... Siriusly... HOW DID IT TAKE ME THIS LONG TO GET HERE? I am just such a fail, because already I can tell that you are going to be brilliant at writing these characters and think of all the time I wasted NOT reading this! *shakes head in disappointment* I am so excited to read more!!! You're a fab writer, lovely! ♥

HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS

xoxo Renee

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Review #2, by PaulaTheProkaryote 

22nd May 2016:
Hi there! I've been saving this story for last so I could read it without being interrupted!

I have to say that I love the opening line! "Destiny begins with a chance, but ends with a choice." That is incredible insightful and I can't wait to see how choice and chance become important themes, since I don't typically pay much attention to them!

I love the introduction where Lily is so wide eyed and eager to hear more about everything in the other world. I think it speaks volumes about Lily's character that despite the way her sister was, Lily still wanted to share that world with her and get her some of the special sweets! Severus already is very opinionated on muggles and it's not a hard leap from this version of him to the one that joins Voldemort. If he wants to keep her around he'll need to handle his rage better.

The second section, with Sirius, was bizarre to read. Walburga celebrating her soon, calling him "my Sirius" having a lovely dinner in honor of Sirius? It's surreal. It makes sense though, she wasn't aware of his blood traitor feelings (maybe he wasn't either) and certainly didn't know he'd end up as a Gryffindor! My heart breaks at the relationship Regulus and Sirius shares, knowing the way it ends up.

Also Remus and his special day is heartwrenching. "He isn't normal." He's normal enough! If not exceptional! I'm so glad that Dumbledore was the kind of man he was because Remus is the gentlest, kindest, smartest person who definitely didn't deserve anything that happened to him.

I loved Peter's letter section the most because it highlights his relationship with his mother and his bravery. He went after Wontley (his fault or not) immediately after he made fun of his mother even though Wontley was bigger and stockier. I love his mother for being so affectionate and full of hope for him at Hogwarts!

I think this chapter was an excellent start to the story and I can't wait to keep reading!

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Review #3, by True Author 

3rd May 2016:
"Destiny begins with a chance, but ends with a choice"- Such a beautiful quote! The more I thought about it the more I agreed with it. :) And it also works great as a concept of your story. I'm already intrigued about reading your take on the school life of the Marauders...!

This was a nice way to begin. We got a peek into their life outside the school and it was pretty great. I especially loved the Dumbledore visiting Remus's parents part. Writing Dumbledore is hard and you've done it really well. :)

Okay, so I have a feeling that this was more of a prologue of sorts and I am really excited to find out what you're going to do with this concept. I love to read anything that concerns James/Lily with a little Snape love in the middle of it so this seems like a perfect story for my reading list!

Good job! I'll be back soon for more!

Love,
Ashwini

Author's Response: Hello Ashwini! *waves excitedly*

I'm glad you liked the quote, it's so apt for most things, don't you think? But I felt with the Marauder's era, a lot of it could have been prevented if the characters had made different choices... yet, they wouldn't be the marauders we love today if they had. (I can't for the life of me imagine Snily!)

Writing Dumbledore was so HARD! I actually went back and read all the Dumbledore scenes to get into his mode :D I'm glad it came across well.

Yes, this was more of a prologue, and I'd be dealing in detail with their lives at Hogwarts.

YAY, I'm glad this fits into your bill, and I truly hope I don't disappoint.

Love,
Ysh


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Review #4, by Owlpost68 

6th March 2016:
So, there's a reason I hadn't read this yet and that's because I thought I already had :P I think I got it confused with Jchrissy's stories and they were amazing. I'm happy to say that this, I feel, is just as good! I love the look into each of their stories and home lives, especially Peter and Remus as we haven't seen or heard much about their early days at all. I think you've characterized them all perfectly and can't wait to read the rest :) I especially loved all the details, like Lyall's knowledge about Boggarts and different things we see the Remus WE know, start to learn, already knew about. I don't know if I made sense there, but it was nice to see where he came from. I agree with Sirius' situation too, I think the change will have truly started when he gets sorted into Gryffindor. I think there probably was hints of things that made him different from his family, but I see them ignoring it as much as they could. Really, this was a great introduction!
This was written for the HPFF Review-a-thon

Author's Response: HEATHER!!

I'm so psyched that you decided to stop by! I love your writing and I'm so honored you feel my story is as good as JChrissy's :O

Ahh yes, I've always wanted to explore how the Marauder's and their families will be before Hogwarts, and this seemed like a perfect way to start.

Peter's was the most difficult to write because I hadn't given him much thought (due to the unpleasant nature of his mere existence!)

I'm so glad you liked this chapter and hope you stick around for more (hug)

~XOXO
Ysh


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Review #5, by cherry_pop94 

5th March 2016:
Hello Ysh! I'm here for the HPFF Review-A-Thon!

This is a great start. I really like how you went through Lily, Sirius, Remus, and James. Their letters seem like such happy occasions for all of them and it breaks my heart to know that every single one of these precocious children ends up murdered in a bloody war.

Let's start with Lily. Her interaction with Severus here was telling I think. Telling of what's the come. He speaks with venom in his voice, already with disdain. Of course, with his unfortunately life circumstances and a muggle father that left him, I can understand his vitriol towards muggles. But this childhood bitterness turns him into a bad man and that's just really sad to see already.

And then Sirius! I really like how Regulus was so excited, it seems almost more excited than Sirius. I can imagine being the younger brother is bittersweet here. He's obviously going to miss his brother, but how cool would Hogwarts be to a little kid? Walburga though, is terrifying as per usual.

And Remus! Aww, that made me so happy. Dumbledore just doesn't care at all about Remus's condition. Nothing will stop him from properly educating a bright young child. I can just see how happy Lyall and Hope must have been to know that Dumbledore accepts their son without question.

And then James. Haha, his father is so funny. I love this family so much. Euphemia and Fleamont seem like the perfect parents to raise such a fun kid.

I love this story and cannot wait to read more!

Stefanie

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Review #6, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

5th March 2016:
For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

The muggles have always been threatened by wizardkind. Havent you heard of Matthew Hopkins?

The opening was really interesting. I never considered some of the events that happened to be chance or choice. Well, I know they were but its never been laid out like that before for me. I kind of paused and pondered about it for a few seconds.

Severus, even as a child is rather insufferable. Obviously we cant blame him but hes kind of talking down to her here but I know is in his character. Because he cares about Lily I dont think he means too but its second nature to him. Its just his attitude so he does it anyway because of course Severus knows she doesnt know anything about anyone in the magical community.

You got the Letter! Regulus Black jumped up and down excitedly, looking at his brother with what could only be described as a younger-siblings-devotion. Sirius face broke into a wide grin as he reached out and grabbed the envelope from his hand.

How cute. My heart always leaps for Regulus. The interaction between the two is so sweet and look how innocent they were back then! Nothing to worry about.

This was a sweet introduction to what Im sure is going to grow into a wonderful story. I love your descriptions. I felt like I was there for every exchange and each section sort of warmed my heart. I wish Peters was a little longer. The only critique I have is I felt like you ended rather abruptly with his section but other than that Im excited to read what happens next.

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Review #7, by ABlack 

2nd March 2016:
Hello Ysh,

I'm back with the final review from your challenge winnings. Choices and chances? That's such a double-edge sword, and one that we all inevitably cut ourselves on numerous occasions over our life times.

I truly enjoyed the snippets of everyone's beginnings. I think perhaps I favor the ones featuring Remus, and Severus and Lily. There is such a heartfelt blend of anticipation of pain and a glimmering of hope as Remus' parents speak to Dumbledore. And what can I say about Severus and Lily? Lily was spot on, and Severus showed a hint of darkness, perhaps a shade too much? But on second thought, perhaps not. This early, it's a tricky balance. I did almost think he would assure Lily that she would be safe.

In any case, in one short chapter you've laid down the groundwork for what feels to be a great story. I look forward to reading more!

~Alexis

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Review #8, by victoria_anne 

28th February 2016:
Hiya Ysh!

This is a beautiful first chapter! You've really kept close to canon, and even though we don't know the stories of when everyone got their letters, I think you captured everyone's reactions and personalities and family lives absolutely perfectly.

You've chosen a huge mission to tackle, but I know you can do it and I can't wait to read the next chapter! Everything is perfect so far!

Bianca x

Author's Response: Dearest B!

Thank you so much for coming around, and your words of encouragement are what I need at this point. The whole idea seems daunting, but I'm determined to see it to the end!

Love
Ysh


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Review #9, by Secret Cupid. 

15th February 2016:
Hello!
Your Secret Cupid Here!
I really enjoyed this chapter! I felt like it was a great start to your story!
I quite enjoyed seeing how each of them reacted to getting their letters and the different mentalities of each of them. It really lets the readers start to get to know the personalities of each one quite well!
Also the first part of the story was also incredibly fantastic!! I really liked the sentence about Destiny being Chance followed by a choice.
I can't wait to continue reading more of this !
Love,
Your Secret Cupit.

Author's Response: Hello Secret Cupid!

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed the starting and liked the opening quote. I do hope you stick with the gang till the end!

Love,
ysh


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Review #10, by mymischiefmanaged 

6th February 2016:
Hello! Here reviewing for Team Gold.

I've been seeing this story mentioned around the forums and was really keen to read it. I'm definitely glad I did! I love your characterisations of all the marauders so far. I'll go through them in order.

Lily and Snape here are spot on. They fit in exactly with what we see of them in canon, but you've added a little twist of nastiness in Snape that shows how he'll grow up the way he does. I thought it was kind of touching how he set aside his views to reassure Lily, but at the same time we can see that he's already very prejudiced. I'd be interested to see where he gets that from. Are his parents anti-muggle?

Sirius and Regulus are adorable and it's so sad that soon Sirius will be leaving Regulus alone at home. I'm so excited to see how you develop their relationship and am sure it's going to end up devastating. For now they're gorgeous.

The image of Dumbledore helping himself to crumpets at the Lupins' and playing games with Remus is lovely and absolutely believable. I really like that he'd take the time to see Remus himself to make sure that everything will be okay. And it's very reminiscent of his treatment of Harry in Half Blood Prince so I loved that.

James's parents are lovely. You've done a brilliant job of characterising the four boys in relatively few words, showing really clearly the different places they're starting from. James is obviously very loved and very happy, which makes him different for now

And finally, Peter's section was really beautifully written. He's already got resentment building up in him which can only get stronger as he grows up, but at the same time here he's very obviously a child and it's sad knowing what's going to happen to him. I felt sad seeing his mother being proud of him here.

This is such a good first chapter! I'm definitely going to read on soon.

Emma xx

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Review #11, by HermyLuna2 

28th January 2016:
Hi, I promised to read your story...And now I've got time and I think it is really good so:

1. Lasting Impression

I knew since I started reading this that it was going to be making an impression on me and it did.
It lured me in with the Sev and Lily scene which was wonderful because they were very true to their canon selves. I love however that all characters from the Marauder era have a viewpoint. I like your different take on Sirius/Regulus, showing them having a good relationship. Its good that the parts of Remus and James were inspired by Pottermore, that made them even more true to canon. I actually loved that Fleamont mocked that he didnt know it was Jamess birthday. It portrays their great relationship. They are such an adorable family that you captured very well here. Peter is often forgotten, and I personally hate that. You gave him an unique voice, that suits him very well.

2. Language and Grammar

English is not my first language, and I make a lot of mistakes myself so Im not the best judge. But I think I saw no mistakes.

3. Prose and Dialogues

I think you really have a talent for writing. The prose and dialogues were excellent, surprising for the reader, descriptive with an original choice of words and fluid.

4. Characterization

Lily: She is bold, slightly bossy and sensitive, as she is described in the books. Yes, I think shes true to her book self.

Severus: Oh, I scan every story where hes in for what the author has made of him and while I love him in any form this comes quite close to the canon character. Especially the part about Petunias gift suggestion.

Sirius: A bit too short to form an opinion yet. Walburga is just as narcissitic as I had imagined.

Remus: Same. It showed more the thoughts of Remuss parents and Dumbledore than of Remus. If that was intentional, I think its in character, Remus seems like a quiet and gentle boy to me.

James: `I dont want pancakes. I want my letter. This sentence was very in character for me. James is a .little bit.spoiled, its adorable and true to his book personality.

Peter: Yes, youll show them that you are going to become a wizard with friends, Peter! Ah... this was heartbreaking, knowing how he is going to end up a sidekick that eventually betrays them. I also feel so sorry for his mother, she probably did nothing wrong and look how her only son turned out.

5. Facts and Fiction
Good that you chose an existing historical figure for an example...Not sure if JK Rowling did that except for mythical persons, but I think it really adds something.

Anyway, fantastic job! Am writing my own story about the Marauders Era but reconsidering its additional value after reading this (will review the other chapters too). Guess Ill edit it a bit. Saw you posted this on FFnet as well, thats good.

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Review #12, by Unwritten Curse 

27th January 2016:
Here for the Review Battle!

This is already a fantastic story. I loved getting these insights into the marauders receiving their letters. Back before they were friends--how odd to see them this way. ;) I'm looking forward to when they meet and how they handle Hogwarts for their first year.

Okay, James's family is my favorite. His dad is adorable, pretending to forget his son's birthday. That's something my dad would've done (and probably did do, now that I think about it). It's so fitting for the Potter family. I know that James's parents were older so the silly jokes and doting on James make so much sense.

And the gratitude that Remus's parents had I got a bit choked up at that part. I think you wrote Dumbledore so well. I especially like the wink he gave little Remus. ;)

Okay, this is stunning: "Her aristocratic looks had bestowed her with an archaic beauty, which coupled with an air of conceit and vanity commanded grudging respect." I can't wait for Sirius to get out of there and have room to breathe. His family sounds so suffocating.

I think you did Peter justice as well. Obviously he's the least favorite of the marauders. Kind of a bummer that he was friends with them, considering how he turned out, but he was their friend. They let him in on so many secrets and he did willingly become an Animagus to help Remus. So he deserves a part in their story. I was glad to see him painted so empathetically.

Off to the next chapter I go!

--Gina

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Review #13, by Jayna 

20th January 2016:
Hi! First off, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to stop by for this review. I took a brief, week-long hiatus, but I'm back now!

Anyway, the first thing I noticed before I even got to your story was that you spelled prophecy wrong. The one you used was the verb form, and the one I used above is the noun form, which is the one I believe you meant to use. So yeah, that's a small grammar-y thing that doesn't matter a whole ton, but if I was a potential reader, that would definitely put me off. As far as the actual content of your summary, I thought it was really interesting and definitely radiated mystery. It also had a bit of deep thinking in there, which would have caught my interest if it was in the recently added section. I also thought that you chose a great way to start off the chapter as it references the summary a little bit.

Characterization-wise, this was a pretty short chapter so obviously there's not a whole ton of character just yet, but as far as first chapters go, I think you did a really good job of giving each character some personality and some character within their short sections. I loved seeing Lily so naive and innocent, and I especially loved seeing Sirius so carefree and childish, instead of the angsty, rebellious teenager he becomes. I think overall, my favorite section was probably Remus's because I had never really thought about the fact that his situation at Hogwarts was unprecedented. You managed to capture the immense shock, happy shock of course, that he and his parents got and you did a really good job of it. One thing was that all of the sections felt just a tad too short to really get into, but I understand that as a first chapter with so much going on that they had to be that way. So basically, while not a whole ton happened in this chapter, your characterizations of beloved characters as children really pulled me in and I came to care for them in a really short time. I can't give you a lot of help plot-wise, but I think that you should definitely be confident with your characterizations and descriptions.

Again, I am so sorry for the lateness of this review and I hope that this helped!

-Jayna

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Review #14, by Meleessuhh 

15th January 2016:
Hello there! I'm here for our multi chapter review swap :)

Ooh this honestly made me feel strangely emotional. I don't read much Marauder Era because I feel that the majority of stories are similar, so it's nice to read a story that's close to canon. Lily and Severus' scene was so sweet, I've always imagined Lily as someone full of light while Sev was the brooding, bitter one. it's done very well and I love how he is so eager to help her understand the Wizarding World. The way you described Walburga was very well done as well.

And then there's the scene with Lupin! I think this was my favorite part. I could clearly picture little Remus eager to go to Hogwarts but afraid to speak up because he knows of his condition. I think Dumbledore is a difficult character to write but you portrayed him flawlessly. Remus' parents' reluctance, his eagerness to go, it was very sweet to read.

The last two sections were a little shorter but I think that's okay. I particularly liked Peter's section, because I imagined him as a pudgy lonely kid too. Not necessarily bad, but mainly a child who was insecure and wanted to prove himself. The way Mrs. Pettigrew was excited for her son that she baked him a cake was cute as well.

Overall great chapter! I can't wait to read the rest :)

Author's Response: Hello Mel :D

I'm finally here with a reply :) Ah that's the problem with writing the Marauders, everyone has their hand in the cake and everyone has such strong feelings about the characters that I feel so insecure about it. But still, I can't imagine writing any other era.

Ahh writing Dumbledore was so very hard, I actually went back and read scenes from the book in order to write him well. And I enjoyed writing Remus too.

Ahh I'm glad you liked Peter's section as well. That was surprisingly easy considering I didn't want to write Peter in the first place and had to force myself to.

Thank you so much for the swap :D


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Review #15, by fwoopersong8 

11th January 2016:
Hey, Songs here! :)

Your intro is awesome. Totally got me hooked. This is an awesome first chapter. I feel the excitement of each of the children, and on the whole it's just a bouncy, happy, cute work of loveliness.

Until we get to Peter, poor kid. I was homeschooled too, but I didn't really hang out with "normal" kids until I went to high school. There the code was live and let live, so I was left living mostly by myself, but I can still understand his frustration. Especially after that incident. Those do seem to get wizard-children-in-hiding into trouble a lot.

Are all the names of the parents canon? How about the family situations? Is Peter's dad canonically gone a lot? You said you did a lot of research, and I'm curious how many details you went into.

This is looking really cool! Good job. :)

~Songs

Author's Response: Hello Songs!

Aww.. I don't know much about homeschooling myself, and I assumed it did get a little lonely. Also, I wanted to explore the idea of wizard child living among muggles.

Also, the names of Remus, James and Sirius' parents are canon (Pottermore and the books) while Peter's are made up.

The scene with Remus and his parents have been inspired by the Pottermore writing.

The other scenes have been written from my headcanon... Peter's dad is my own headcanon of why he wanted to please people so much.

~Ysh

Thank you for the review :) And I hope you come back for more :)


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Review #16, by alicia and anne 

11th January 2016:
YES! I LOVE THE MARAUDERS SO I AM SO EXCITED TO READ THIS! I can't wait to see your take on them :D

You've done really well showing the friendship between Lily and Severus, it's like it could come straight out of the book it's written so well :D Just like a missing moment.

I wish that Severus was nicer, but we all know he can't be, although I like that he tries when he's around Lily. I still wish that he wasn't so stuck in his ways.

I really love how you've got snippets of them all before they get to Hogwarts, seeing Sirius with his mother proud of him getting the letter, having Lily and Severus discussing Diagon Alley, having Remus being personally told by Albus himself - I hope he does check his bed for the Belgium Boggarts. And James being teased by his father who was trying to hide the letter, and Peter's mum so proud of Peter for getting his letter, even though his dad didn't think he was magical :D It's all so brilliant how everything is so different and they all come from different walks of life.

I can't wait to see them all together, and I'm very much looking forward to the other chapters and more of your wonderful writing :D

Author's Response: Tammi!! (waves excitedly)

Its so amazing you're doing this! And I love that you stopped by my story :)

Aww, a moment from the books? That's one of the lovliest praises I've ever gotten. You've made
my day, no my YEAR!

Little Sev makes me feel sad too :( If only he had made the right choices. Adult Sev doesn't draw my sympathy though, because he had to bear the brunt of his decisions, it's little Sev who just seems so misguided.

James' part was the most fun to write. I realized after I had written it that Fleamont Potter is my absolute favorite as far as Potter parents go :D My headcanon of him just gets more and more fun. I hope you stick with the story to see that!

YES, I'm glad you appriciate the different backgrounds they all came from because it's essential to the people they all ended up becoming.

Thank you som uch for your lovely review Tammi!


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Review #17, by AlexFan 

21st December 2015:
I know this review was supposed to come a while ago but Im here now. Sometimes I like to write reviews as I read the story, and this is going to be one of those times.

I really liked the beginning of this, it gave this feeling that this story was going to get a lot deeper as it went on. The line, Destiny begins with a chance, but ends with a choice. had me going oh in my seat because I just knew that big things were going to happen in this story. I dont know how to explain it but that line just really hit me.

Snape is savage, that line about Petunia that he made had my mouth dropping open. I feel like Snape has so much he wants to say about Petunia that hes got something ready to go whenever she comes up.

I loved seeing a glimpse at the relationship between Sirius and Regulus while they were young before it got ruined as they grew older and went their separate ways. Sirius has always had a special place in my heart, and seeing him and Regulus get along gave me this warm and fuzzy feeling. In that big, dark, house, Sirius at least had one person who he was close to and understood him.

The scene where Dumbledore visits the Lupins said a lot to me about Remus was most likely treated in his own household. You could see it from the way that his parents talked about him and the way that his mother said that Remus wasnt normal and the way he shrunk down at the sound of that. His own parents were most likely afraid of Remus and probably avoided him as much as they could because they didnt know how to deal with a son that was a werewolf. That kind of treatment was probably the reason why Remus started at Hogwarts as a timid little boy before the Marauders helped him gain some confidence.

The scene at Jamess house showed exactly how loved and privileged he grew up compared to the rest of them, and Peters life showed why he grew up to adore James and Sirius as much as he did and why he followed them around Hogwarts that much. Seeing that little snippet of Peters life, I can understand why he would betray his best friends to Voldemort.

I thought your characterizations were perfect to be honest with you, each scene reflected the personality of the characters and the kind of people that they would be when they grew up. I really enjoyed reading this and I think your story is off to a really good start.

Author's Response: Hello, and thank you so much for stopping by. Don't worry about the delay :)

Aw, I'm so glad you liked the opening line. That was initially intended to be the summary, but I then figured it fit in the prologue better.

Ooh yes, Snape is so mean, isn't he? At first I thought he had an anti-muggle disdain. But it also probably stemmed from the fact that Petunia didn't think much of him and always told Lily to stay away from him.

Sirius and Reg are heartwrenching aren't they :( They're my favorite to write about, though

Regarding Remus, I never thought of it like that... to be honest. I felt that they were more afraid of how the world percieved him, and afraid to let him out because they didn't want him to be scorned by others, they didn't think he would be accepted outside. They probably wanted to protect him and cherish him inside their house. At least that's my headcanon :)

Privilaged James is the right word I guess. And I am so glad you understood Peter's characteristics from that scene. Most people feel sorry for him, but I'd like to see him as Snape, making the wrong choices.

I am so happy that you liked my characterizations, and thank you so much for your wonderful feedback. I hope the story has intrigued you enough to stick around for the other chapters :)


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Review #18, by Rohani 

19th December 2015:
Nice story... So far ;)

Author's Response: Thank you: hope u read the rest

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Review #19, by DobbyLover 

13th December 2015:
This was a great chapter. I'm excited to read the rest!

Author's Response: Hello! It's always lovely to get a review from a reader who has clicked in on their own without any prodding! I hope you stick with the story till the end :)

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Review #20, by looneylizzie 

13th December 2015:
Hey Ysh!

I thought I'd stop by and check out this story, because I've heard so many good things about it!

I've got to say, the way you began was just perfect. That line - Destiny begins with a chance, and ends with a choice. -- is just wonderful. And certainly very thought provoking. It's an excellent hook!

And then there's the way you've written each of the Marauders (plus Lily and Snape). I've got to say, you've managed to keep everything canonical so far, and I find that extremely impressive! Keeping things within canon is something that scares me away from the Marauders era, so you're certainly much braver than I am!

I think your characterizations are spot on. Lily and Sev are just like what we see in the books, and the Marauders themselves are just how I'd imagine them being.

Little James was adorable, that's for sure, and Remus and his parents really felt like an accurate telling of the situation they were in. It's understandable that they never thought Remus could go to Hogwarts because he was a werewolf, and the conversation they have with Dumbledore made me giggle.

Sirius' bit made me a bit sad, I'll admit. Not because of your writing, but because I know that his family life is about to drastically because he's sorted into Gryffindor - and the fact that you've written him before him starting school only highlights that.

I'm glad you included it though!

And then there's Peter.

Okay, one of my major pet peeves is when Peter is basically ignored in Marauder's stories. Because he ends up being a "bad guy", no one wants to write him the way I figure he really was, and that's part of the group.

But I don't think you'll have any problem with that! I love the way you've written Peter, and the early thoughts and motivations that led him to becoming a Marauder in the first place (oh, and nice details on him - mentioning the hatstall says quite a bit about his character in my opinion).

All in all, this is an excellent start! I'm sure I'll be back at some point, because this looks like it'll be a fun read!!

Keep writing Ysh! This really is phenomenal already!!

Happy Holidays!
Lizzie

Author's Response: Hello Lizzie, Thank you so much for stopping by!

Ahh yes, the daunting task of canon Marauders. With the marauders its so hard to write in a way that agrees with all readers, and I'm finding that harder by the second.

Little James was my favorite to write. He came from a happy family and I have a soft corner for Fleamont Potter.

And Peter's part was the most challenging to write because as you mentioned, I hate writing Peter. But Chiara mentioned I should include him in the in the first place, and as I continued to write him, I realized how much I enjoyed exploring his character.

I'm glad you liked it, and I'd love to see you back here :) :)

Thank you for your lovely review!

~Ysh


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Review #21, by Musing 

4th December 2015:
Hi there!!

I've seen you around the forums talking about the most canon Marauders story you are writing and being a BIG Jily fan, I've wanted to read and review it for a long time. There's no better excuse to stop procrastinating and review this story for the task for Day Three of the Advent Calendar, so here I am!

There's no other way to say it, I LOVED this chapter! I really liked the way you started with the chance-choice thing. That part was really creative and thought-provoking.

The chapter is awesome, depicting the days the characters get their Hogwarts letters. Each and every character got an entirely different type of a scene, which in some way or other gives a peek into their lifestyle and personalities. Lily tries to bind her two worlds together while Severus tries hard to keep his dislike of Muggles from Lily. You have got them! I totally agree with you on the part that Walburga wouldn't have hated Sirius from his childhood. The little scene featuring Sirius felt appropriate. Remus' reactions to whatever Dumbledore was saying, fear, hope, anxiety, really ring true to me. I loved the way you portrayed James- an eager and excited little boy. Young Peter is trying to fit in with the other kids- something I think Peter must really have struggled for.

The nickname Petey made me crack! Haha!

Now that I have read this fabulous start of the story, I am definitely going to continue! Expect my review in one of your other chapters soon!

-Emm ^_^

Author's Response: Heya Emm!!

Thank you for stopping by :D I am so glad you loved this chapter... I really wanted to show only snipets of it as opposed to longer scenes of their childhood.

Remus' scene was my favorite to write, because there was just so much to be said about him getting into Hogwarts isn't it? ANd James, ahh I loved writing his parents and his home. I imagined James' dad to have been quite fun, for him to have turned out so.

Peter, he wasn't originally part of the scene at all... It was a couple of reviews that made me include him, and I didn't think I'd end up liking writing him, but I did.

I'm so happy you're going to continue reading this story, and hope you like the other chapters as much!

~Ysh!


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Review #22, by wolfgirl17 

1st December 2015:
Hey Lily - (I couldn't find on your profile if Lily is your actual name, so I'm guessing here)

Wolfgirl here from the forums with your requested review!

This chapter was so adorable! I love how cute and wonderful they all are, excited to be getting their Hogwarts letters! Look at them! *goes into cuteness overload*

I was especially fond of James being so impatient, and mildly unnerved by that bit about Peter possibly killing another boy by accident. Yikes! But he's so little and cute. I adore his mother already. I have to admit I thought you did a marvelous job on writing Walburga Black - the vile woman herself!

There were a few spelling/grammar mistakes throughout - just little things like missing the apostrophe signifying belonging to something. eg. "Lilys smile" - which should be "Lily's smile." There were a couple featuring James, I think.

I wish we'd gotten a more in depth look at each of these fantastic characters as children. I loved the window into Peter, but I'd have liked to see more of Sirius's personality and a bit more of James being doted on by his parents. I like the way you wrote in Sev's nasty streak too. Very cool, so kudos for that.

I don't find it overly noticeable that you're not writing from any POV in particular. In fact I think it's mildly refreshing, to be honest. It allows a broader view of the overall happenings within the fic and follows multiple characters without the imposition of their personality traits. I've been reading a lot of POV-heavy fics lately, so it's nice to just be able to enjoy a fic without any particular character's overpowering traits and mannerisms clouding up the way events unfold and the way each character is viewed.

All in all this is a really fun first chapter and I really loved the look at the Marauders in miniature. Such little sweethearts, I just want to hug them all whilst blabbering about how cute they are!

I look forward to reading the rest of this fic. Keep up the awesome writing. I can tell I'm going to get hooked,so I do hope you have more updates on the way, otherwise I'll be one of those annoying folks badgering you for updates!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hey Ellie!

My name is Ysh, thank you so much for stopping by :-)

Aww yes they are such adorable 11 year olds aren't they :D James was my favorite to write - the pampered confident talented child! Peter was the hardest (after Dumbledore of course) I wanted to bring out his insecurity and underlying dark side simultaneously... To show what he was capable of despite his low self esteem.

Thank you for pointing out the minor errors, I'll probably have to clean them up soon.

I wanted to expand on Sirius as well, but I was a little stumped myself - I didn't want him to hate his mother at a young age. I found it hard to believe that a 11 year old would harbour strong hatered against his mother. I left it hanging at the Regulus Sirius relationship, which is a little sad considering what they turn out to become :-(

The generalized PoV effect was quite unintentional. I think I wrote it as a narrative PoV. Unfortunately as the chapters move on, I have started writing from PoV, though to be frank that is starting to get quite tiring seeing the number of characters I chose to include (I blame my muse!)

It's high praise indeed that I've got you hooked! I always love a reader to badger me for updates!! I hope I don't disappoint you as the chapters move on!

Thank you so much for your review! I hope you keep reading 😁

Love,
Ysh


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Review #23, by TearsIMustConceal 

29th November 2015:
Hi, It's Vicki here with your requested review!

Before I start, let me say, the opening to this chapter is amazing. Such a different way to start the chapter and it really caught my attention!

Anyway, onto your review!


Your use of dialogue is brilliant it flows really well and each voice is easy to follow and distinctive you sort of instantly know who's talking, even without you mentioning it. Your characters voices are strong and there is no unnecessary dialogue in the paragraphs so you've done a really good job!

As for Canon-ness, from what i've read, everything is spot on. I haven't been on Pottermore in forever so i'm not caught up with all the canon but I think everything is pretty much perfect. In my head, you've got everything right! The way Snape softens his opinions when he's with Lily, James being loud and vibrant, Peter being the lonely child and the Black's I love you have them close because that's how I picture them when they were younger, before everything got in the way!

I love your characterisation of all your characters here! To me, they're pretty much perfect! Lily has that wide-eyed, innocent view of the world and it contrasts perfectly with Snape's strong, harsh views and I think it's clever that from that small piece of interaction, you can see that it's their differences and opposite opinions is what eventually tears them apart. Sirius and Reg are great, as is James they're exactly how I imagine them to be as young kids and you can already see their personalities! Peter is.well Peter I always believed he was a loner, the kid no one wanted to play with and that he never really got rid of that stigma, despite hanging out with the Marauders so he was great to read his section did make me feel a little sorry for him though! And the interaction between Dumbledore and Remus' parents it was sweet I love their reaction to how Dumbledore just doesn't care that Remus is different they're obviously not used to that so it's wonderful to see their genuine surprise I really loved that scene!

Overall, this chapter was perfect and I really can't wait to read more. You've made a fantastic start and to me, you've got all of the characters spot on! So excited to read the next chapter!!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hey Vicki!

Thank you so much for stopping by! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to your review response.

I'm always worried about my dialogue since English isn't my native language so I'm glad you think it flowed well!

I'm so happy that I've managed to fit the images you have of the characters, because getting Marauder era perfect is such a challenge because everyone loves them and have their own headcanons about them. Personally James was my favorite to write - the pampered vibrant child!

Lilys innocence contrasting with Snape's cynical outlook is what I feel slowly deepened their rift. I see Lily as a vibrant happy person who as time goes gets bogged down by Snape's negativity and the Dark Arts was just a topping point. I'm glad you were able to pick up on all the characters from the small scenes.

Yes the Remus and Dumbledore scene was inspired by the Pottermore writing on Remus Lupin, and Dumbledore was so daunting to write because he's just so... Different you know!

It's great that you're excited to read the rest of the haters and I hope I've done justice to this positive review in the future chapters as well!

Love,
~Ysh


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Review #24, by Mr Penn 

24th November 2015:
Destiny starts with a chance but ends with a choice. A brilliant way to begin this chapter indeed PrincessLily.

Your first two parts displayed the meaning of the quote brilliantly. We see how both Severus and Sirius are brought up upon a healthy dose of anti-muggle propaganda but how Sirius is able to rise above it al while Severus remains rooted in his self-defeating mindset.

The exchange between Dumbledore and Lyall Lupin is also well written. The apprehensions of the parents as well as the aspirations of Remus are apparent. Dumbledore's character is also nicely worked out.

James is well... James.

Peter's part actually brings up a nice feel. I want to hate him but I can't. At least not just yet.

A very well-written capter on the whole and I am dying to read what happens ahead.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review swap Penn!

I'm so glad you liked it. Yes Dumbledore was the toughest to write. I have read so many fics where he is so out of character, and I didn't want to make that mistake. That part took me the longest, I'm glad you like it.

Noone wants to feel good about Peter. We all unanimously hate him. It was disgusting to write about him, but those are things that must be done I guess :(

I would love it if you could check out the other chapters as well, Only if you're interested though. Not as an obligation :)


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Review #25, by Secret Santa 

12th November 2015:
Ho ho ho! I know that I am a little early for sending Christmas greetings but next month I'll be busy putting the finishing touches on toys and finalizing my route for Christmas Eve. While I have some down time, I thought I would drop in and leave some reviews for deserving authors as an early Christmas present. Now on to your present.

I loved this insight to the moments the Marauder's got their letters. I think your headcanon works and fits into what we know about them from the books and what JK Rowling has revealed.

I would have liked to see more though with the moment that Lily found out that she was going to Hogwarts. My headcanon has her shocked and amazed at what's going to happen to her. That being said I do like the interaction you have between her and Severus.

I agree with you that Sirius' relation ship with his mother deteriorated the moment he was sorted into Gryffindor but I think his relationship with her was strained from the beginning and got worse over time.

I loved this insight into Remus' life as well. It was very believable that his parents would be hesitant to send him and in disbelief when they found out their son could attend. You captured the moment well and I had no problem sympathizing with Remus as he went from hopeful to devastation to hopeful and to excitement at knowing that he would be allowed to attend school after all.

I'm going to keep this short and lump James and Peter's segments together here. I thought you did a good job of showing the characters of both boys and loved their reactions at receiving their letters. James' question about the broom was so in character for him it made me laugh out loud. Peter isn't one of my favorite characters and has found a permanent spot on the naughty list but I did feel you captured his character rather well and I almost felt sorry for him...Almost.

Overall I thought this was a well written chapter and I really enjoyed reading it. It was truly a rewarding experience and well worth the loss of a cookies & milk break.

Merry Christmas!

Your Secret Santa

Author's Response: Merry Christmas to you too Santa!

It was awesome to see a review from you!

I wanted to describe Lily's moment too, but in Dh it was mentioned she knew about her being a witch much before the arrival of her letter, so I don't think she would have been so shocked. Also, I wanted to explore her friendship with Snape.

Remus is becoming my personal favorite to write about. I love that he has such a wonderful mix of emotions that see-saw between sensible and marauder.

Peter is always on the naughty list, however bad we might feel for him. I think you would agree with me here :D I'm so glad you liked my James :D

I'll make it worth your while with a Honeyduke's toffee :) :)

Thank you so much for stopping by :D

Love
ysh


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