1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Karou_Marauder 

14th March 2014:
Hi there!

I like the repetition of "day before that" in the first paragraph. It shows how monotonous Harry's days are now.

A quick punctuation thing: inside speech marks ('Hello Ron' for example) you always need punctuation ('Hello Ron.')

I can just picture Harry standing there with his briefcase, waiting in line...and I can definitely see how frustrating that must be for the Boy Who Lived.

Lovely description of Harry's house, and the way you've made it like the Gryffindor common room is so sweet and just like Harry.

THEY'RE GOING BACK TO HOGWARTS! I love the idea of an Exclaimer, I haven't seen that before.

Great start!


Author's Response: Many thanks for taking the time to write, I really appreciate the feedback.
Apologies for the grammatical errors, I suspect you might find some more and I hope they don't detract too much from your enjoyment of the story.
Read On and enjoy

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review