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Review:Eyo says:
Hello there!

What an exciting beginning. I was so hyped after reading the first few chapters, I read a lot of "transfer next gen" kind of story and I have to say yours had a lot of originality but also kind of make sense actually.
The relation between Nic and her parents, they way she and her friend say were reacting was natural atleast for me. And Nic was an interesting if not super original girl. She's making sense and that's really good for me.
But you, gosh you have a talent for details when you write. You give an environment, your side characters are not dumb/dull (except one thing I will come back to later). In a way you create an universe, a coherent one. Your natation also help to make the reading smooth. To be simple it's a pleasure to read your work.
James is amazing, I can't stop to wonder why he isn't in Slytherin except him telling of the hat. He is smart, you can tell in the way you write him and incredibly arrogant actually in a way you don't see often. I can guess he's actually the plot himself in a way. Definitely more is going on between Albus and him. Not only rivalry but a strong link. The way he went to Nic at the beginning, you state that if it's not out of character it was still not common so I can't stop myself to think it's because James is attracted to her.
The Wotters, you work with them incredibly well. There is darkness behind the curtains haha. I mean Dom's advises, Albus whispers or even James though, I mean isn't it totally weird/rude to say your brother is pathological jealous of you. I still don't know if it was James Albus down or Albus Scorp and Louis but I don't think you would make such importance of a scene if it was simply for a prank.

The interaction between James and Nic are masterful, I'm a bit surprise Nic cannot even guess that James may be a bit into her but well. I love the way you already showing us how they will be able to help each other. I was afraid at one point that Ethan was going to be the third point of the triangle but I felt you made him simply too dull like a lower value version of James so I'm thinking he only will be use as a way to show us how interested Nic is already into James and the difference between sweet perfect James ( kind of Ethan ) and the real James with a deeper personality.

One thing with your story is that it's simply amazingly original, the way you write and therefore your natation, awesome. Though because there is I think, and it could be only me, some bad points.
You should be careful with how you use Nic I think, at the end of this chapters she seems a bit perfect. Smart, witty, not intimidated, pretty, sportive, party girl, a little experience with boys, savoir of the day, I mean there is maybe hundred students and she has to be the one saving the boy, not his friends swimming beside him, not any other students who one could a swimmer, not a head boy/girl whose you can think should be cold blooded enough to take care of that particularly a sportive guy like James i mean really anyone? Come one but well it's okay I simply hope its not gonna be a daily basis haha I have nothing against perfect characters or "overpowered" I simply think they are the hardest to write because if you don't give enough and reasonable justification as why they don't solve instantly the plot then the reader can't stop but feel the hand of the writer and therefore the artificial aspect of a fiction. Something that could be awesome sometime but not often in a fanfiction I think.

I can't wait to see what is going to happen between perfect easy life Nic and not so perfect James. I hope you will be as original with them and the plot that what you gave me since the start of your story.

I love to speculate even when I'm wrong and giving my honest opinion on a story and I hope you didn't mind. Your story is amazing can't wait don't let us wait too long :p

Good luck with your moving, I just left campus myself recently. It's sometimes better to focus on study out of campus for me :D

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