Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:MalfoysCarolinaGirl2010 says:
Hey Tasha here from the Forums with the reviews you requested. :)

Fist of all I think you have an interesting concept with the Weasley clan (plus a LOT of extras) taking a muggle vacation. I think you hit the nail on the head with the personalities of several members of the Weasley/Potter clan and would love to see you develop the characters more as the story develops.

In my post on the forums, I mentioned that I'm horrible with grammar but while reading I did notice a few errors with word choice/placement. For example:

"It was a, for England, very uncharacteristically rainy day at the Burrow.

really this should be

"It was, for England, a very uncharacteristically rainy day at The Burrow. (While not 100% sure I think this is the correct way to write this sentence)

Also when you refer to the family as a whole you call them the Weasley's. this should be Weasleys with out the ' unless you are referring to them being in possession of something (ex the Weasley's property)

One other thing I noticed was that Dom, Rose, and me were more concerned" should be "Dom, Rose, and I were more concerned"

Other than what I just mentioned and a few typos, I think this has the potential to be something great and if you haven't already I would recommend getting a beta to pick up on things you might miss or not even notice.

Again I really like what you have going here and I'm interested to see what you come up with in the next chapters.

Peace, Love, and Tacos

Tasha

PS for the record I LOVE cliffhangers so I really LOVE the way you ended this chapter :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 444
Submit Report: