Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:MuggleMaybe says:
Hello!

I meant to review the first chapter, but your writing style is addictive - I was reading chapter 2 before I realized!

So far, you are setting this story up very nicely. I like the idea of a Muggleborn who knows the Weasleys. It was clever to have her meet Hugo at school - I don't think most witches/wizards who have magic parents go to primary school, but I can totally see Hermione insisting that they get a good education right away. (And Ron being completely confused, haha!)

Layla is very easy to relate to. She seems like a person I could meet in real life. And Hugo - I like that you've cast him as the love interest. He doesn't get as much love as James, Albus, or Scorpius. It's nice to have a change.

I really enjoyed this so far, but I'll try to give some constructive criticism , to make this review more helpful:
I think adding a little bit more narration - as opposed to dialogue - would give readers a chance to get inside Layla's head and get to know her better. You have this great first person POV, so capitalize on that! Let us know what she cares about, what she worries about, what her dreams for the future are, what annoys her.

This is great so far - definitely reading chapter 3 right now!
~Renee

Author's Response: thanks for reviewing. and i am happy that you are enjoying this story so far. i will keep your suggestion in mind and try to write more about Layla's thoughts and feelings.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 558
Submit Report: