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Review:ShadowRose says:
Hello there, I'm here with your (rather late) requested review!

This is an interesting story - I can see that you're kind of trying to parallel the story of James and Lily but in a next-generation setting, and obviously, with rather different characters.

James has a very straightforward characterization, in that he's popular, a prankster, and is in love with this one girl. It is really similar to the original James, and while I know that that's probably what you're aiming for here, try to give him a little bit of a personality that's not based on his grandfather's, because it makes him more relatable.

Also, Isobel is an interesting character as well. It seems she has a bit of a backstory, and is a bit snarky and snappy as well. I like characters that have a bit of sass to them. :) I am a little confused about one thing, however: why is she so completely against James, but is happily best friends with Dom? I know you sort of explained it in the story, but I feel like it needs a more convincing explanation to really make sense, because right now it looks a tad hypocritical on Isobel's part to me.

The first flashback worked well in the story, and didn't really interrupt the flow at all. With the flashback (or whatever it is) at the very end, it might be good to specify that there's a point-of-view change or something like that, because it left me confused for a moment.

Also, I noticed quite a few grammar and spelling errors in this chapter. They can interrupt the flow, so I'd recommend getting a beta from the forums who can look over chapters for you and make any necessary changes. We all make mistakes, and oftentimes other people are much better at catching them than we are!

Overall, this looks like a very promising story - it'll be interesting to see where you take it. Feel free to re-request for later chapters!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Thank you for taking out the time to review my chapter. Its much appreciated.
James's and Isobel's characterisation will undergo development as the story progresses.
I love how to enjoyed Isobel's snark, its what I love about her too. And there will be more where this came from. So yay. As for the flashback in the end, I'm planning on adding more to that chapter to clarify the change in point of view for future.
As for the hypocrisy, I do have a justification for that in future chapters. But I understand your concern and I am considering edits to improve this part of my story better.
As for the grammar mistakes, yes, I noticed them too. After uploading the chapter. Gotta be more careful next time.
SO THANK YOU. Your feedback has put things into perspective, which is much appreciated. I hoped you enjoyed reading it. :)


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