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Review:rozen_maiden says:
This is still really, really great! But before I talk about anything else, I just want to point out one inconsistency before I forget:

You talk about Draco and the Death Eater/Muggleborn woman initiation, and how he avoided it being with Pansy - that they honor commitment enough to not force him to do these deplorable acts. But I also noticed you had this sentence when describing what the acts were:
"... down into the basement, where Dolohov and Rookwood and Rowle and Yaxley and even my pathetic excuse for a father are waiting."
I think it would make more sense if you took out 'and my pathetic excuse for a father', as Lucius is in a relationship with Narcissa, and they love each other dearly. I also think it would be a bit out-of-canon to have him complete these activities when they are in the Malfoy basement, and Narcissa is in the house (she's a pretty scary woman, and she definitely has her husband under her thumb). Also, Draco mentions how he is worried for his family in this chapter (which, is perfectly in canon. The Malfoy's only looked out for each other in the last book), so I don't think he would actually see his father as pathetic (especially after just doing time in Azkaban. Maybe Draco would feel sorry for him, but not despise him. He has always loved his dad).

Anyway, that was the only critic I could find - otherwise, this story is coming along very well. As I said in my previous review, your writing style is perfect, and I was pleased and very surprised to find that it changed (but didn't degrade in quality) when you switched to Draco's point of view. I read every word as though he was speaking, because it was so well-written I could actually imagine Draco saying those words and thinking those thoughts. It's also interesting to read it out of Emmaleigh' eyes, and through Malfoy's, as reader's get to see her in a different light. It's very difficult for some writers to confidently handle two viewpoints, but you're doing an amazing job.

Anywhere you go from here is going to be a very interesting read. I'm putting this story in my favourites, just so I don't miss your update. You've introduced both characters, and now I'm pretty excited to see where you go with your plotline. Your writing is so lovely as well, it's just an absolute pleasure to read.

Thanks for requesting my review, I'm so glad I got to read your story! :)
- Mahalia

Author's Response: Hello, and thanks again!

Ah, thank you for pointing that out. I had intended to switch that to uncle (in reference to Rodolphus,) so I'll have to tweak that part. I never believed Rodolphus and Bellatrix cared for each other very much. :p

And I'm so very glad to hear the switch in narration wasn't to jarring; I was worried about that happening. A few years ago, I wrote a story that alternated between narrators and it failed miserably so I've always been afraid to attempt that style again. So far, so good, I guess! :D

Thanks again! I'm so glad you're enjoying it!


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