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Review:marauderfan says:
hello! marauderfan here with your requested review.

I like this so far! Your writing is very good - no obvious grammar or spelling issues that I saw, and it flows really well. Also, Snape is spot on, so well done writing him. I think it's interesting that Emmaleigh is a Muggle-born in Slytherin; particularly during this time period it must be so difficult. But lucky for her, no one will suspect her "impure" blood that way. So you've got a great premise for a story here! Poor Draco at the end :(

Emmaleigh seems like a good character; I can clearly see her tendency to over-think things, as there's quite a few paragraphs of her worrying, so that's good. But she's sort of missing something, to me; I think what I would have liked to see more of is how she became friends with Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys. It seems she met the golden trio on the train, which doesn't really fit with canon but if you're going AU you can write kind of whatever scene you want as background info. Basically, I just think some background on her friendship with all the Gryffindors would be a nice addition.

Also, my one nitpick: When Emmaleigh gets in the carriage, there are some first years in it, but first years usually take the boats. (Unless this year, they don't have boats for some reason, in which case you might mention that.)

Overall though, I enjoyed this chapter and I think the story has a lot of potential! Nice work :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for the wonderful review! :)

I'm so glad to hear Snape came out alright; he's always been a difficult one for me to write. And there's definitely more background info coming up. :)

Regarding the boats, there is actually a reason they aren't being used, but I'm sorry to say it's nothing spectacular. I had intended to include why in this chapter, but the topic does get brought up again so it's all good. :p

Again, thanks so much for taking the time to review! Glad you liked it! :D


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