Penname: Lucius_Malfoy_Must_Die
Member Since: 2006.07.23

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Stories Posted: 3
Reviews Posted: 85
Favorite Author of: 1

Author's Favorite Stories | Author's Stories | Author's Favorite Authors (48 found— page 1 of 2)

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1 : Forced To Get Along by Megan     Short story
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 9   Reviews: 195

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Our story begins with two trios. One of Gryffindor, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley; and one of Slytherin, Draco Malfoy, Gregory Goyle Jr. , and Vincent Crabbe Jr. Anyone who knows anything about Hogwarts, or attends Hogwarts for that matter, knows that these two sets of three don't get a long.

Genres: Humor  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Crabbe Jr., Draco, Dumbledore, Ginny, Goyle Jr., Harry, Hermione, McGonagall, Ron, Snape
Advisory: Mild Language
Published: 2005.07.21   Latest Chapter: 2011.12.19 Updated: 2011.12.19 Status: COMPLETED (14810 words)

2 : Lord Voldemort's Downfall by loony86     Short story collection
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 10   Reviews: 87

Thank you, whocares (from SAYS), for the beautiful banner!
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This is a collection of humourous, or even pure slapstick, one-shots. They all deal with the downfall of the Dark Lord. Some of the plots were inspired by avatars or forum discussions. Warning: Nonsense ahead! ||| I marked the collection as completed because each chapter could as well stand on its own. But I'm still adding to the insanity!

Genres: Humor  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Harry, Neville, OC, OtherCanon, Pettigrew, Voldemort
Advisory: No Warnings
Published: 2006.07.26   Latest Chapter: 2008.04.10 Updated: 2008.04.10 Status: COMPLETED (7113 words)

3 : Smuggle the Muggle by HermioneRules     Short story
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 20   Reviews: 311

Harry, Ron and Hermione plus many others are invited to join a contest by Fred and George. Be prepared for hilarity, rivalry and a little awesome-ity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Genres: Humor   Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Dumbledore, Fred, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Neville , Ron, Voldemort  Pairings: Ron/Hermione, Neville/Luna, Ginny/OC, Other Pairing
Advisory: Contains profanity
Published: 2005.08.13   Latest Chapter: 2007.07.12 Updated: 2018.03.04 Status: COMPLETED (17307 words)

4 : A Lesson in Sociology by Lucawindmover     Novella
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 18   Reviews: 829

Someone has sent letters to six students in Hogwarts, inviting them to partake in a sociology experement. None of them, however, are prepared to be locked in a magic-barring room... A/N: You'll notice no pairings stated, that's because I don't want to ruin the tale....

Genres: Humor, Mystery, Romance  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Neville, Ron
Advisory: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2006.05.11   Latest Chapter: 2007.06.24 Updated: 2007.06.24 Status: WIP (34295 words)

5 : Hogwarts Idol by SuperiorDancerChick     Short story
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 8   Reviews: 410

I would like to say a HUMONGUS thanx to Emerald_Eyes, who made me the most awesome banner!!! U rock, Emsacall!!!! Hogwarts takes karaoke night one step too far, and decide to start a reality show- Hogwarts Idol! Hosted by me (SDC) and my best friend, Erin! Who will be crowned Hogwarts Idol? Who will lose their sanity? Who will read my fic?(come on, u know u want to!) =)Grande finale is up! =) Reviews very much appreciated!

Genres: Humor, Songfic   Characters: Draco, Dumbledore, Fred/George, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Lily, Lucius, M. McGonagall, Neville, OC, Oliver Wood, Pansy, Ron, Snape, Tonks
Advisory: No Warnings
Published: 2005.01.20   Latest Chapter: 2007.02.19 Updated: 2007.02.19 Status: COMPLETED (14497 words)

6 : Magic Mistake by Mr Padfoot     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 49

This is the true account of what actually happened that fateful night in October when Lord Voldemort paid the Potters a visit. Yet in his quest to conquer the world, Voldie makes one slight oversight…… My first fic! Humourous one-shot with a difference! Enjoy and review!!

Genres: Humor   Characters: James, Lily, Voldemort
Advisory: No Warnings
Published: 2006.01.29   Latest Chapter: 2007.01.08 Updated: 2007.01.08 Status: COMPLETED (777 words)

7 : How Pogo-Schtick Day Came To Hogwarts by OohTheDMlove     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 67

Very random story. Harry is reunited with the basilisk, discovers Draco's true feelings, pokes people, makes a speech, tangos with a professor, and defeats Voldemort all in one day. Want to know How Pogo-Schtick Day Came to Hogwarts? Read and find out. AMAZING Banner by StepUpx_Gryffindor!!!!

Genres: Humor  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Dumbledore, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Neville, Ron, Snape, Trelawney, Voldemort  Pairings: Other Pairing
Advisory: Mild Language
Published: 2006.07.28   Latest Chapter: 2006.11.22 Updated: 2006.11.22 Status: COMPLETED (1178 words)

8 : So Arrogantly Beautiful by hpOracle     Novel
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 26   Reviews: 1398

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My name is Draco Malfoy, and to put it quite simply I am god, so I wouldn't at all be surprised if you kneeled down before me. But every dream and fantasy has a glitch and mine is quite prominent. I answer to the one, the only, Voldemort. Some times I wonder why. After my bodged assignment last year, my father has given me a chance to clean my slate with the Dark Lord. I must seduce Granger. Someone kill me! banner by brilliantbeauty

Genres: Humor, Romance, Action/Adventure  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Harry, Hermione, Lucius, Ron, Voldemort  Pairings: Draco/Hermione
Advisory: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme,
Published: 2006.06.22   Latest Chapter: 2006.11.10 Updated: 2006.11.10 Status: COMPLETED (75398 words)

9 : Breathless by Roxie_lucky13     Novella
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 9   Reviews: 103

Thanx for the banner Hp_rules!
Read and review please
Draco and Hermione story yada yada, you know what happens, do I really need explain? FINISHED. Finally xD So this was my first fanfic, it was very Fluff and didn't really do anything for me. I shall be writing more, hopefully better stories in future. ^^ Pleeeease review. Thankyooooou.

Genres: Romance  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Hermione, Ron  Pairings: Ron/Hermione, Draco/Hermione
Advisory: Strong Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature
Published: 2006.05.26   Latest Chapter: 2006.10.18 Updated: 2006.10.18 Status: COMPLETED (7978 words)

10 : Voldie-Ninja by tjwhermione     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 42

It's Halloween and Voldemort is...a ninja???!!! WARNING: extremely random! Me + reviews = free toasters for everyone! ...Hahaha, just kidding...But, please review! If you like funny stories and major OOC-ness (besides Snape), this is for you! Please read and review, thanks!!

Genres: Humor  Era: Other   Characters: Bellatrix, Pettigrew, R. Lestrange, Snape, Voldemort
Advisory: No Warnings
Published: 2006.07.16   Latest Chapter: 2006.09.21 Updated: 2006.09.21 Status: COMPLETED (2277 words)

11 : It Started with a Shot of Firewhiskey by KasandraFelton     Novella
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 13   Reviews: 158

Draco finds Hermione in a bar and buys her a drink...or two...or more....they wake up in the same bed the next morning and try to figure out what the heck happened the night before. Rated PG-13 because of future chapters...PLEASE READ!!

Genres: Humor, Romance, Young Adult  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Harry, Hermione, Lucius, Narcissa, Pansy, Ron, Snape, Voldemort  Pairings: Draco/Hermione
Advisory: Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2005.03.31   Latest Chapter: 2006.08.19 Updated: 2006.08.19 Status: WIP (13575 words)

12 : A 'Cut' Above The Rest by Snitchsista     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 31

Draco Malfoy hates hair cuts . . . but when his hair proves to have grown too long, what does he unwillingly decide to do? Get a trim. First try at humour- light relief from my conflict fics, but still no way as fun!! :)

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Thanks soooo much to Hunny_Baby_Doll!!! I absolutely love this!!! :) 
Staff edit - you may only have one image per summary. -Ali

Genres: General, Humor  Era: Post-Hogwarts   Characters: Draco
Advisory: Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2006.07.27   Latest Chapter: 2006.08.01 Updated: 2006.08.01 Status: COMPLETED (1527 words)

13 : Now Life-Sized by FrogsofChocolate     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 34

Ginny Weasley's obsession with all things chocolate leads to a rather interesting development.

Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Ginny  Pairings: Draco/Ginny
Advisory: Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
Published: 2006.07.23   Latest Chapter: 2006.07.31 Updated: 2006.07.31 Status: COMPLETED (1440 words)

14 : Devil Child by wolf2010     One-shot
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 46

Wonderful banner by niZ!!
My son is the complete opposite of what I always wanted. He's anything but quiet and does anything he wants to when he wants to, whether it be climbing on ceiling fixtures or "watering" my wife's plants with jello. He's keeping every single one of the House Elves busy with cleaning up after him and taking to his commands so that my wife and I often have to cook our own food. Yes, my only son has demanded the attention of everyone in the neighborhood with his loud screams if he doesn't get his way. My son is Draco Lucius Malfoy...oh yes, you should be scared.

Genres: Fluff, General, Humor  Era: Pre-Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Lucius, Narcissa  Pairings: Lucius/Narcissa
Advisory: Mild Language
Published: 2006.07.04   Latest Chapter: 2006.07.29 Updated: 2006.07.29 Status: COMPLETED (1169 words)

15 : Scar head by 100 _percent_ witch     One-shot
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 40

Beautiful, spectacular banner by the amazing Violet, honestly, isn't it amazing?
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Into the mind of our favorite Slytherin.... this should be interesting. Response to Lairyfights123's "scar" challenge. <

Genres: General, Humor  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Draco  Pairings: Ron/Hermione
Advisory: Strong Language
Published: 2006.07.13   Latest Chapter: 2006.07.28 Updated: 2006.07.28 Status: COMPLETED (964 words)

16 : Draco's New Toy by FairyPrincess     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 19

When you have a two year old son who is spoilt....NEVER LEAVE YOUR WAND LYING ABOUT! and dont feed it after midnight and dont feed it sugar. R&R

Genres: General, Humor  Era: Pre-Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Lucius, Narcissa  Pairings: Lucius/Narcissa
Advisory: Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
Published: 2006.06.12   Latest Chapter: 2006.07.25 Updated: 2006.07.25 Status: COMPLETED (1116 words)

17 : Bathroom Magic by unickuta     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 8

Our favorite red-head has to go to the bathroom at King's Cross. Hilarity ensues as Ron discovers motion-sensor hand-dryers, sinks, and toilets.

Genres: Humor  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Harry, Hermione, Ron
Advisory: Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
Published: 2006.06.29   Latest Chapter: 2006.07.17 Updated: 2006.07.17 Status: COMPLETED (1211 words)

18 : We love you, Hermione by Seamusfan1     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 158

A parody that features the most popular romantic ships involving Hermione. Hermione is serenaded by several boys as they try to gain her heart. Note: It is unrealistic and meant to be so. Also read, "We Love You Ginny."

Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Crabbe Jr., Draco, Fred/George, Ginny, Goyle Jr., Harry, Hermione, Krum, Pansy, Ron  Pairings: Hermione/Krum, Ron/Hermione, Draco/Hermione, Harry/Hermione, Hermione/FredOrGeorge
Advisory: Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
Published: 2006.05.27   Latest Chapter: 2006.06.02 Updated: 2006.12.27 Status: COMPLETED (2034 words)

19 : They're Taking Over the World...According to Sirius by Kansas     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 14

Find out what happens when Remus has James and Sirius over to his house during summer vacation, and Sirius believes that a certain group of items is taking over the world.

Genres: Humor  Era: Marauders   Characters: James, Lupin, Sirius
Advisory: No Warnings
Published: 2006.05.02   Latest Chapter: 2006.05.25 Updated: 2006.05.25 Status: COMPLETED (2302 words)

20 : The reunion by Charligirl     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 8

ull see! plz read & review! ps dumbledore thanx again hello 251025 4 the banners!

Genres: Humor   Characters: Draco, Dumbledore, Fred/George, Ginny, Harry, Hermione
Advisory: No Warnings
Published: 2006.03.17   Latest Chapter: 2006.03.17 Updated: 2006.03.17 Status: COMPLETED (1395 words)

21 : Sirius Black and the Duckies of Doom by Tears4Sirius     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 2

It is a generally well-known fact among wizarding parents that magical babies can do extraordinary things when they are very small. Funnily enough, Mr Sirius Black though a wizard and self proclaimed ‘Hunk of Hogwarts’ (a title hotly disputed by both his best friend and one Gildroy Lockhart), had only ever rolled his eyes and started to day dream when talk turned to parenting before his best friends wife finally consented to letting him baby sit his Godson. Thus the terrible (though funny to everyone except Sirius) incident of Sirius Black and the Duckies of Doom commenced…

Genres: Humor   Characters: Harry, Sirius Black
Advisory: No Warnings
Published: 2006.02.26   Latest Chapter: 2006.02.26 Updated: 2006.02.26 Status: COMPLETED (1472 words)

22 : Dear Lord Voldemort, by TheLeech     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 63

Answer to joliefille252's Challenge A wonderful Letter to Voldemort...singling out everything he has done wrong...

Genres: Humor   Characters: Voldemort
Advisory: Mild Language,
Published: 2006.02.25   Latest Chapter: 2006.02.25 Updated: 2006.02.25 Status: COMPLETED (1336 words)

23 : Dear Lord Voldemort by Shadow00Kasey     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 21

This story is written in response to the challenge issued by joliefille252 in the forums. Voldemort’s on top of the world. Being the Dark Lord has never been better. But one day, he gets a rude awakening….

Genres: Humor  Era: Other   Characters: Voldemort
Advisory: No Warnings
Published: 2006.02.24   Latest Chapter: 2006.02.24 Updated: 2006.02.24 Status: COMPLETED (686 words)

24 : A Poke in the Head by Lassy_Luna     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 9

This story could either make or break me. What would happen if a spell gone amiss could transform people into strange creatures for a day? Well, that's just what happens at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry-- all thanks to one Miss Luna Lovegood, and one Miss Ginerva Weasley.

Genres: Crossover, Humor, AU  Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Dumbledore, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, McGonagall, Neville, Ron, Seamus
Advisory: Mild Violence
Published: 2006.01.28   Latest Chapter: 2006.01.28 Updated: 2007.07.08 Status: COMPLETED (3519 words)

25 : Babysitting Harry by Drunk Elves     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 229

Lily and James went out, leaving Sirius to babysit. Is that really the wisest choice?

Genres: Humor, General, Fluff   Characters: James, Lily, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black
Advisory: No Warnings
Published: 2005.12.16   Latest Chapter: 2005.12.16 Updated: 2005.12.16 Status: COMPLETED (1837 words)
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