Penname: CrabPerson
Member Since: 2005.10.25

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Stories Posted: 7
Reviews Posted: 7
Favorite Author of: 13


Click Here to meet CrabPerson and ask about aspects of their writing.

I only write Mature. I don't mean for it to be that way, it just turns out that way. The one question people ask the most is: "How did you get in here?"

Author's Favorite Stories | Author's Stories | Author's Favorite Authors (7 found— page 1 of 1)

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1 : The Vicinity of Dandy by CrabPerson     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 3   Reviews: 3





(The 5th installment in the wrongfully titled Trilogy of Errors. Start here, or avoid the pain by skipping the first story) Ever since taking down Voldemort every peg he had, Harry and his friend's lives have been much more peaceful. And without war, comes bordeom. It doesn't help that they're all still stuck as professors in hogwarts. They've found new friends, philosiphies, and fetishes, while killing time by talking about sex.


Genres: Humor, Romance, AU  Era: Post-Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, McGonagall, OC, Ron  Pairings: Ron/Hermione, Harry/OC, OC/OC
Advisory: Strong Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Contains Slash (Same-Sex Pairing), Contains Spoilers
Published: 2007.11.06   Latest Chapter: 2007.12.05 Updated: 2007.12.05 Status: Abandoned (4786 words)

2 : The Absurd Forthcoming by CrabPerson     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 9   Reviews: 13






The fourth in the increasinlgy, misleadingly titled: "Trilogy of Errors". If you've bother to read the first three, this one will surely coax a titter out of you. But, if you haven't, don't fret. Harry is currently teaching at Hogwarts, which has completely Re-staffed as of the new year of 2007(odd plot point, eh?). If you want to read about what the Trio might be doing in a more cynical, deviant understanding, read this.

Genres: Humor, Romance, AU  Era: Post-Hogwarts   Characters: Ginny, Harry, Hermione, OC, Ron  Pairings: Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, OC/OC
Advisory: Strong Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature
Published: 2007.05.05   Latest Chapter: 2007.11.10 Updated: 2007.11.10 Status: COMPLETED (14742 words)

3 : The Summer of 9 1/2 Inches by CrabPerson     Short story
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 2   Reviews: 8





In the summer of 1998 I, an author by the name of "Crab P. Erson", traveled to Hogwarts to interview those such students who failed one of their OWLS or NEWTS. In this certain case the famous Trio was there. Yes, all that villain fighting and taking time off schoolwork catches up to you. The following is my my collected interviews with them. I know we should have just let them alone and only wonder about what they're up to after the Voldemort episode... And now we find out what they're up to.

Genres: Humor, Romance, AU  Era: Post-Hogwarts   Characters: Fred/George, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, OC, Ron
Advisory: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature,
Published: 2006.03.11   Latest Chapter: 2007.07.15 Updated: 2007.07.15 Status: Abandoned (4093 words)

4 : Trilogy of Errors Part 2: Lies, Fabrication, and Defenistration by CrabPerson     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 8   Reviews: 17



(Big Up to Kellymcl for the banner) The imprudent sequel to "Ain't That A B?": The most dissapointing moment in Harry's life... Well maybe that isn't true, but it's still pretty dissapointing. A story of almost lightning fast relationship revivals and deaths. A story of a human-volcano and peanut-butter things. A story featuring a Buzzkill Baby and Defenestration( Latin for throwing people from windows) A story that has earned the title of Most Imprudent Sequel.

Genres: Humor, Romance, AU  Era: Post-Hogwarts   Characters: Arthur, Ginny, Hagrid, Harry, Hermione, Lupin, Molly, OC, Ron, Tonks  Pairings: Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione
Advisory: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2006.01.21   Latest Chapter: 2007.06.26 Updated: 2007.06.26 Status: COMPLETED (9837 words)

5 : Trilogy of Errors Part 3: Going Upside the Head by CrabPerson     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 8   Reviews: 31




(Big Up to Heleen from Dark Arts for this Baller banner) It is currently in the very near future. Late 2006. And around this time, Ron and Hermione finally get around to moving in together.
God forbid they should have a good moving in party without Hermione's lunatic father interrupting with a super soaker. If you have not read the first two stories, it really doesn't matter. Just put your chair in reclining position(if possible), and tuck the kids in(if possible).

Genres: Humor, Romance, AU  Era: Post-Hogwarts   Characters: Ginny, Harry, Hermione, OC, Ron  Pairings: Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione
Advisory: Strong Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature
Published: 2006.08.19   Latest Chapter: 2007.03.26 Updated: 2007.03.26 Status: COMPLETED (13065 words)

6 : Turning Back by CrabPerson     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 7   Reviews: 17



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After shocking news that mentally tears him apart, Ron sees only one logical way to bring back the one he loved. Ron finds that the world of time travel, is as psychological as it is complicated.((Big ups to shadowycorner for the bunny that I have somewhat altered into a complicated crossover/romance/mystery Frankenbunny. And another big ups to Kim Malfoy for the kick-aweosme banner))

Genres: Romance, Action, Humor, Crossover, Mystery, Drama   Characters: Cho, Draco, Fred/George, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Neville, OC, Ron, Voldemort  Pairings: Ron/Hermione
Advisory: Strong Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Strong Violence, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2006.02.19   Latest Chapter: 2006.03.25 Updated: 2006.03.25 Status: WIP (16742 words)

7 : Trilogy of Errors Part 1: Aint' that a B by CrabPerson     Short story
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 8   Reviews: 44



The first in the completely ludicrous trilogy of romance, suspence, and unfortunately terrible errors. In this Act Harry sleeps with his best friend, loses a few friends, and bares witness to a team of complete idiots ruin a fashion show.(Very loosely based on the film Mallrats)

Genres: Humor   Characters: Fred/George, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Neville, OC, Ron, Seamus
Advisory: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2005.12.27   Latest Chapter: 2006.01.12 Updated: 2006.03.12 Status: COMPLETED (7409 words)
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