Penname: NobodyKnowsHowToTalkToChildren
Member Since: 2008.11.02

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Stories Posted: 6
Reviews Posted: 91
Favorite Author of: 6

I'm a Londoner who loves Harry Potter and writing. So why not combine them both?

Author's Favorite Stories | Author's Stories | Author's Favorite Authors (67 found— page 1 of 3)

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1 : A Woman's Guide to Professional Quidditch by ScarletRoses     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 20   Reviews: 270







For the record, when I signed with the Falcons, I just wanted to play Quidditch. I didn't bargain for a coach with a grudge, teammates with too many problems to count, and being James Potter's fake girlfriend for publicity. Screw publicity. These shorts are not regulation! 


Sequel is up! / / Lovely banner by AstoriaGreengrass of TDA! 


Genres: Humor, Romance, Young Adult   Era: Next Generation   Characters: Albus, Fred, Ginny, Harry, Hugo, James (II), Lily (II), OC , Rose, Scorpius  Pairings: James/OC, Rose/Scorpius, Other Pairing
Advisory: Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme, Spoilers
Published: 2012.02.10   Latest Chapter: 2014.07.29 Updated: 2014.07.29 Status: COMPLETED (86658 words)

2 : Patchwork by fairytaled     Novella
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 11   Reviews: 202


banner by wishaway



Only idiots fall in love with their best friends.
So, it's a good thing that Sophie and Louis are
pretty dim.


Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance   Era: Next Generation   Characters: OC, OtherCanon   Pairings: Other Pairing, OC/OC
Advisory: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Published: 2011.04.08   Latest Chapter: 2013.10.31 Updated: 2013.10.31 Status: COMPLETED (23385 words)

3 : Silent Confrontations by marauders4life     Novella
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 14   Reviews: 35




Norah Blanchard is an ordinary witch at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. With one small difference: She is selectively mute; she chooses not to speak. As a lonely seventh year, Norah finds herself engaged in a boring, daily routine, but before long her encounters with the Marauders and a certain Sirius Black cause her world to be turned upside down...
 
Special thanks to heartplague for the beautiful banner!
 
 
 


Genres: Humor, Romance, Action/Adventure   Era: Marauders   Characters: A. Longbottom, James, Lily, Lupin, OC , Pettigrew, Sirius, Snape  Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily
Advisory: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
Published: 2012.04.26   Latest Chapter: 2013.05.07 Updated: 2013.05.07 Status: WIP (20685 words)

4 : Falling To Pieces by RoxyRose     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 11   Reviews: 407










...of course, boundaries never meant anything to Sirius Black.


Sirius/OC 
Sequel to Fall for Anything
Banner by HeavenLeigh@TDA



Genres: Drama, Romance, Young Adult   Era: Marauders   Characters: OC , Sirius  Pairings: Sirius/OC
Advisory: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
Published: 2010.02.06   Latest Chapter: 2013.05.04 Updated: 2013.05.04 Status: WIP (75700 words)

5 : Delicate by padfoot4ever     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 35   Reviews: 7938


Winner of Dobby Award for Most Addicting Story::Winner of Golden Snitch for Best Next Generation.








Rose ‘Red’ Weasley is pregnant."I’m not old enough to become a mother! I barely know how to tie my shoes!" She's trying to adjust to the news."I’m never leaving this bathroom again."  She’s not taking it well.


Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance   Era: Next Generation   Characters: Albus, Hugo, James (II), Lily (II), OtherCanon , Rose, Scorpius, Teddy, Victoire  Pairings: Rose/Scorpius, Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Teddy/Victoire, OC/OC
Advisory: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Published: 2008.01.27   Latest Chapter: 2013.01.14 Updated: 2013.01.14 Status: COMPLETED (145821 words)

6 : Comatose by No_oneKnows     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 9   Reviews: 174




Selene Roster comes from the time of the Marauders, Lily Evans and Severus 'Snivelly' Snape. What happens when she awakes from her twenty year coma, young, teenage-like– courtesy of Dumbledore - & coming back to Hogwarts?
 
“Potter... Potter... POTTER?!” Lily and James? Oh dear fudging Godzilla, what else did I miss out on?

Genres: Humor, AU, Young Adult   Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Draco, Harry, Hermione, Lupin, OC , Ron, Sirius  Pairings: Sirius/OC, Remus/Tonks, Ron/Hermione, Draco/OC, Remus/OC
Advisory: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2009.01.30   Latest Chapter: 2012.09.16 Updated: 2012.09.16 Status: WIP (29458 words)

7 : All I Am by Haniewall87     One-shot
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 7


In response to The Boy Band Challenge. The song was Invisible Man by 98 Degrees. Thanks Readoholic for being this story's amazing Beta.


 







“Prongs, I’m not spending my life span feeding you lines to get Evans,” Sirius shuddered. “You’re on your own.”

 


Genres: Drama, Humor   Era: Marauders   Characters: James, Lily, OtherCanon   Pairings: Other Pairing
Advisory: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
Published: 2010.02.26   Latest Chapter: 2012.09.12 Updated: 2012.09.12 Status: COMPLETED (3579 words)

8 : A Perfect Mess by moonbaby11     Novella
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 3   Reviews: 15


Banner by me | Written for the 'You in the Harry Potter World Challenge' by Burke







Nymphadora Tonks and Charlie Weasley are entering their fifth year at Hogwarts. Their friends have always thought that they would make a good couple, and this year they are finally putting a plan to action.

CURRENTLY BEING RE-WRITTEN!
 


Genres: General, Humor, Romance   Era: Pre-Hogwarts   Characters: Bill, Charlie, OC, OtherCanon , Skeeter, Tonks  Pairings: Other Pairing, OC/OC
Advisory: Strong Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
Published: 2010.06.07   Latest Chapter: 2012.09.06 Updated: 2012.09.06 Status: WIP (8202 words)

9 : How Firewhiskey Ruined My Life by majamariamaja     Novella
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 8   Reviews: 76


Banner: BlameItOnTheNargles @ TDA



My mouth tastes like I made some stupid decisions last night.

Exhibit A: Someone is here with me. And not just anyone.

I can't really make out her face, but it's not that which gives away her identity; it's her hair.

Her long, very red hair.

Prongs will kill me.


Genres: Humor   Era: Marauders   Characters: A. Longbottom, F. Longbottom, James, Lily, Lupin, OC , Pettigrew, Sirius, Snape  Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/Lily, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing
Advisory: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Contains Slash (Same-Sex Pairing), Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Published: 2012.04.27   Latest Chapter: 2012.08.03 Updated: 2012.08.03 Status: WIP (18007 words)

10 : Days of Yore by apocalypse     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 12   Reviews: 47


Thanks to Jane @ TDA for the awesome banner!





People say that a turn in life can change your entire life. What about a turn in time? Harry and Ginny are thrown back in time only to realise that time has a different meaning than they knew. An auror and a healer embark on a mission that would change their lives forever and give one something she had always wanted and the other something he never dreamed he would get.

Over 4000 reads! Thanks everyone!


Genres: Humor, Mystery, Romance   Era: Marauders   Characters: Dumbledore, Ginny, Harry, James, Lily, Lupin, OC , Pettigrew, Sirius, Snape  Pairings: Harry/Ginny, James/Lily, Lily/OC, Sirius/OC
Advisory: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2011.08.14   Latest Chapter: 2012.07.28 Updated: 2012.07.28 Status: WIP (47739 words)

11 : My Sister's Fiancé by HPsmartone32     Novella
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 22   Reviews: 859






insane banner was made by hysteria at TDA.
The party was supposed to be fun. I mean I successfully completed my education at Hogwarts: cause for celebration, right? Well, according to Grandma Weasley, it was.  During said party, it must have slipped my mind that firewhiskey is a tricky substance and when combined with two heartbroken people it's even worse. That fact along with one huge mistake made me, Dominique Weasley, pregnant with My Sister's Fiancé's kid.

Genres: Drama, Humor, Young Adult   Era: Next Generation   Characters: Bill, Fleur, Molly, OC, OtherCanon , Teddy, Victoire  Pairings: Bill/Fleur, Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Teddy/Victoire, Other Pairing
Advisory: Strong Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Published: 2008.10.23   Latest Chapter: 2012.07.16 Updated: 2012.07.16 Status: WIP (114902 words)

12 : All I Ask Of You by PatronusGirl101     Short story
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 8   Reviews: 10


"Just let me love you-" "Sirius, you don't want to love me." "Well at least give me a chance to. One chance-that's all I ask of you."

Remus/Sirius
 
900+ reads! Thank you all!! xxx


Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance   Era: Marauders   Characters: James, Lily, Lupin, Pettigrew , Sirius  Pairings: Other Pairing, James/Lily
Advisory: Strong Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Contains Slash (Same-Sex Pairing), Substance Use or Abuse
Published: 2012.02.22   Latest Chapter: 2012.06.12 Updated: 2012.06.12 Status: WIP (8560 words)

13 : Contrast by OvergrownEden9     Novella
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 15   Reviews: 628


|| On the Ultimate Story List ||





 Attempting to be an overlooked wall feature, or perhaps an uninteresting shade of paint, was always easy for Claire. When an unlikely friendship falls between the previously unnoticed girl and Sirius Black, the difference between them is evident; that, of course, didn't stop him from throwing her into the innuendo-filled limelight...


Genres: Humor, Romance, Angst   Era: Marauders   Characters: James, Lily, Lupin, OC , Pettigrew, Sirius  Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily, Remus/OC, Other Pairing
Advisory: Strong Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Published: 2008.01.14   Latest Chapter: 2012.03.16 Updated: 2012.03.16 Status: COMPLETED (33394 words)

14 : Mundane Marauders by ladylilyflower     Short story
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 3   Reviews: 9


"Hogwarts, the school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, has officially become irksome. The lessons, Hogsmeade, everything is just plain dull. You would think being a 6th year student; you would find plenty of things to do. Apparently not."
 Working on rewriting this, and continuing it.


Genres: Humor, Romance   Era: Marauders   Characters: James, Lily, Lupin, OC , Pettigrew, Sirius  Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily, Remus/OC, Other Pairing
Advisory: Strong Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
Published: 2008.11.27   Latest Chapter: 2012.03.12 Updated: 2012.03.12 Status: WIP (5191 words)

15 : Still Delicate by padfoot4ever     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 35   Reviews: 10976


Wonderful new banner by PhoenixAlthor @ TDA.





Five and a half years after the birth of her child, Rose Weasley feels her life is about to go in a new direction. Things can only get better. Well, they can't get any worse...or so she reckons.  
A story about love, life, friendship, family...and an annoying cousin that will never stop calling her Red.


Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance   Era: Next Generation   Characters: Albus, Hugo, James (II), Lily (II), Rose, Scorpius, Teddy, Victoire   Pairings: Rose/Scorpius, Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Teddy/Victoire, Other Pairing
Advisory: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Published: 2008.12.14   Latest Chapter: 2012.02.28 Updated: 2012.02.28 Status: COMPLETED (142007 words)

16 : Laugh it Off by ValFish     Novella
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 18   Reviews: 107






Thanks to xfaydchik6 @ TDA for the amazing banner!

-

Everything is fine.
No, really.
My best friend is trading me in for some boy who can't spell his own name,
Sirius Black is dating horse-face
And
The button to my jeans broke off and hit a first year in the forehead.
It's all fine and dandy!
Right, now, you were saying?


Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance   Era: Marauders   Characters: A. Longbottom, F. Longbottom, James, Lily, Lupin, OC, OtherCanon , Pettigrew, Regulus, Sirius  Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/OC, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing
Advisory: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Published: 2010.05.16   Latest Chapter: 2012.02.20 Updated: 2012.02.20 Status: WIP (39268 words)

17 : The Initiator by Hermoninny     Song fic
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 2   Reviews: 9





Cormac McLaggen. Handsome, wealthy, charming. Steam on two legs if you ask him.
Hermione Granger. Bookworm, muggleborn, intellegent. The cleverest witch of her age if you ask others.
We all know that Cormac is the initiator, but what happens when suddenly a simple bookworm refuses him?
Songfics based on lyrics by Fefe Dobson.

Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance   Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Hermione, OC   Pairings: Hermione/OC
Advisory: Mild Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2010.05.11   Latest Chapter: 2011.11.07 Updated: 2011.11.07 Status: WIP (2959 words)

18 : Susie Q by SiriuslyNot     Novella
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 58   Reviews: 806


[banner by .flystella at TDA]

Clumsy, sarcastic, witty, mediocre rebel, going-fast-to-nowhere - that's Susan Quency, the girl who knew nothing about love, and was about to learn everything there was to know about it. [COMPLETED!]


Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance   Era: Marauders   Characters: James, Lily, Lupin, OC , Pettigrew, Sirius  Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily, OC/OC, Remus/OC
Advisory: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Contains Slash (Same-Sex Pairing), Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2008.12.12   Latest Chapter: 2011.10.13 Updated: 2011.10.13 Status: COMPLETED (149402 words)

19 : Dirty Little Secret by elisalinguine_x     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 25   Reviews: 388


BEING COMPLETELY RE-WRITTEN. POSTING UNDER NEW STORY: OBSESSED.

Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance   Era: Marauders   Characters: James, Lily, Lupin, OtherCanon , Sirius  Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily, Remus/OC, Other Pairing
Advisory: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2008.10.02   Latest Chapter: 2011.08.06 Updated: 2011.08.06 Status: WIP (101730 words)

20 : And So We Lived by Bitterblue     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 3   Reviews: 27




In September, 1971, a great bond of friendship was formed, a bond that would eventually be diminished by the test of time. In a small compartment, four boys met. They had no idea that their lives would change with that fortunate seating arrangement. And thus, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs were born, surviving many adventures, pranks, and girls; an un-breakable bond that was ultimately beautiful, but was destined for tragedy.
Beautiful banner by amoretti @ tda
 


Genres: Drama, Humor, Action/Adventure   Era: Marauders   Characters: James, Lily, Lupin, OC , Pettigrew, Sirius  Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily, Remus/OC
Advisory: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Published: 2011.04.24   Latest Chapter: 2011.05.13 Updated: 2011.05.13 Status: WIP (4411 words)

21 : Crossroads by GreenIcePrincess     Novel
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 4   Reviews: 20



"Lily," his voice broke as he spoke her name. "Lily, I'm so sorry, but I...I just...I can't loose you."
Her expression was confused as she looked back at him. Why was he apologising? If anything, she should be begging for his forgiveness. "Chris, I...I don't under--" Lily trailed off, her eyes growing wide as she watched him pull his wand out and aim it at her.
"I'm sorry, Lily." Chris repeated softly. "Obliviate!"

Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance   Era: Marauders   Characters: James, Lily, Lupin, OC , Pettigrew, Sirius  Pairings: James/Lily, Lily/OC
Advisory: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
Published: 2009.07.11   Latest Chapter: 2011.04.19 Updated: 2011.04.19 Status: WIP (25227 words)

22 : Complications by hpswimdummy693     Novel
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 4   Reviews: 35




Melissa Kensington has many complications in her life. 
Complication #1: She is the bane of her mother's existance. 
Complication #2: She's a witch and her family hates her for it. 
Complication #3: She's been kicked out of her house. 
Complication #4: The only person that understands is the one person she wished would leave her alone.

Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance   Era: Marauders   Characters: Lily, Lupin, OC , Pettigrew, Sirius  Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily
Advisory: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
Published: 2009.11.08   Latest Chapter: 2011.04.11 Updated: 2011.04.11 Status: WIP (12408 words)

23 : The Love Drug by Jellyman     Short story collection
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 6


James Potter harbours an ill-fated obsession with Lily Evans.
Sirius Black is a hopeless romantic with a thing for poetry.
Remus Lupin has a penchant for tarty girls in short skirts.
And Peter Pettigrew very nearly might possibly have a date.

Some people are just addicted to love.


Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance   Era: Marauders   Characters: A. Longbottom, F. Longbottom, James, Lily, Lupin, OC, OtherCanon , Pettigrew, Sirius  Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/OC, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing
Advisory: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Published: 2011.01.06   Latest Chapter: 2011.02.27 Updated: 2011.02.27 Status: WIP (758 words)

24 : Curious Happenings at Number Twelve by Toujours Padfoot     Novel
Rating: Mature   Chapters: 27   Reviews: 270


Fantastically fabulous banner by the terminator @ TDA





Nora Prewett is on a mission.


Genres: Humor, Romance, Action/Adventure   Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Lupin, OC , Sirius, Snape, Tonks  Pairings: Remus/Tonks, Sirius/OC
Advisory: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Published: 2010.10.27   Latest Chapter: 2011.02.13 Updated: 2012.07.06 Status: COMPLETED (147790 words)

25 : Pretty Boy by Ink Laden Quill     Novella
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 5   Reviews: 241


Banner by .showmetheLOVE @ TDA



    Sirius Black had dated almost everyone. There was one catch: he never asked out a girl, nor broke up with one. Somehow, he never had to. Even more startling, he never stayed single for long.
  Leah refused to break up with him—just to see what would happen. It was just an experiment to see if she could make the school's most indifferent man care enough to end his own relationship. Right..


Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance   Era: Marauders   Characters: James, Lily, Lupin, OC, OtherCanon , Pettigrew, Sirius  Pairings: Sirius/OC
Advisory: Mild Language
Published: 2009.03.13   Latest Chapter: 2011.01.13 Updated: 2011.01.29 Status: WIP (8401 words)
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