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Chapter 16 : The One After The Quidditch Match
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“I’m always ready, Abigail. I’ve been ready for days., Michelle told me, as she grabbed for her broom and glanced over it, as though checking for dirt or a sign of tampering. She must have thought that Ravenclaw were really going to come up here and use dirty handed tactics to destroy her broom. “I’ve been training for days. If we don’t win today, I’m not sure that I can forgive myself.”
“You need to calm down, Michelle,” I told her. Before every match she would always work herself up into some sort of a frenzy; there were times where she seemed to just go completely mental and crazy in the leading days to a match. Training whenever she could and talking urgently with the captain about plays that could work, or what she’d heard about the other teams plays and strategies. I really didn’t understand why exactly Michelle wasn’t made to be captain; maybe the teachers thought that she couldn’t handle the pressure of it all, especially if she acted like this and isn’t captain. She puts too much pressure on herself. I hoped for her sake that Hufflepuff won the match today and also for my sake as well; she would talk to me for days about the loss, going over the match minute by minute and talking about what went wrong and what she could have done to stop it from happening if she had the time. She was going to have a mental breakdown one day or just go utterly insane. I would be visiting her in St Mungos hospital; I was the only one who could, and did actually want to, deal with her craziness.
“Let’s go down to breakfast,” I told her. Michelle shook her head at me.
“You know I can never eat before a match, I’ll end up throwing it up all over the pitch. No.” She shook her head again as she clutched hold of her broom, as though it were her only life source, which it was. I had often wondered what she would do if her broom ever broke or she lost it. I’m not sure she would be able to cope; it was her most prized possession, if you don’t count all the signatures from the team Montrose Magpies she had framed on her bedroom room at her house. “I work better on an empty stomach, being hungry puts me in a bad mood so I have more of a reason to want to win.”
Michelle was right, she was always in a bad mood when she was hungry, or just generally being awake put her in a bad mood.
“I don’t think that’s a healthy way to do that, surely you need food to get the energy,” I told her honestly.
“Adrenaline is my energy and the hunger just spurns me on. I will be an unstoppable machine,” Michelle growled at me. “I’ll see you down at the pitch,” she added before she left the room, carrying her broom and some of her Quidditch robes.
She was crazy! Although who was I to talk? Most mornings I couldn’t be bothered to eat, but I would at least take some fruit that I could eat between lessons to try and keep me going.
I walked up to the stands, following a few people behind Isabella and Sian and deciding that I would sit with them, but not being able to get to them as there were a few people ahead of me on the stairs leading up to the stands.
Thankfully the people in front of me went to another part of the stand and I followed Isabella and Sian until they decided on a place to sit.
“Oh, hey Abigail, I didn’t see you following us otherwise we would have stopped,” Isabella told me with a smile. Sian said ‘Hello’ to me.
“Hey, I would have called to you but we had a few people separating us, I didn’t much feel like shouting in their ears,” I told them, pushing my gloved hands into my pockets as I turned to look out over the pitch and the other stands. I moved my head so that my scarf was covering my chin and mouth; I did like to snuggle down into my scarf whenever I wore it outside.
In my glancing around I found where James was sat with his friends. I gave a smile as I looked at him, before it fell from my face when I noticed that Rebecca had decided to sit herself in the small gap between James and William, William didn’t look that pleased either.
I let out an annoyed groan as I saw that she had turned her face as though whispering in James’s ear; this would explain why she had tripped me and why I was slowly getting over a scabbed knee. It wasn’t my fault that James was talking to me now and I didn't see why she was getting jealous? Me and James were just friends and he’d never see me any other way. Even though I knew this it still hurt to see him appearing to whisper back into Rebecca’s ear and a hint of jealousy spread through me. I had no right to, I didn’t have any claim on James, he wasn’t mine to say who he could and couldn’t talk to, and if he wanted to talk to Rebecca he was well in his power to do so. I wondered for a moment what he would say if I told him that she purposely tripped me with her friends, but I couldn’t even think of bringing myself to do it; if he wanted to be with Rebecca, I didn’t want to be made out to be a bitch and tell on her. I would just have to get on with my life and get over it.
I looked away from them, I didn’t want to see Rebecca flaunting herself all over him, especially when I needed to be supportive of my best friend who was about to start her Quidditch match, yet I couldn’t help but glance back over at James and Rebecca. I guess I was just a glutton for punishment.
Isabella seemed to have noticed where I was looking and grabbed for my hand, giving it a comforting squeeze as I turned to look at her, smiling gratefully. I tried my hardest to focus on Michelle, who was flying around the pitch expertly, like she had been born to play there. I was here for my friend and I needed to remember that.
I had been feeling shitty since the Quidditch match, not ill or sick or anything like that, but just my general mood and attitude at the moment. I just wanted to hide in my dormitory, which I knew was ridiculous, but I didn’t really want to see James and Rebecca flirting with each other during dinner. It was like Rebecca knew that I was watching, she was putting on such a show that I knew other people had noticed the two together. I wasn’t sure what James’ reaction to it all was, I just knew that he didn’t leave or move away, which in my mind told me that he didn’t mind it. What boy wouldn’t mind a pretty girl flaunting herself all over him and flirting with him?
So I decided to stay in the dormitory and finish my homework, whilst Michelle celebrated at dinner with her teammates for having won the match today. I had lost my appetite the moment I had seen Rebecca practically sitting on James’s lap.
My peaceful quiet in the dormitory was interrupted by Isabella, who had walked into the dormitory with a serious look on her face; she glanced at me before looking around the room as though seeing if we were alone.
“Are you okay, Isabella?” I asked her in concern, not liking the look on her face and feeling my stomach beginning to tighten with nerves as she came over to sit on my bed.
“I wanted to tell you something, because I didn’t want you to find out from the rumours and everything that’s going around the school,” she told me.
Oh, god, what is going around the school now? Was it something to do with me? I could feel the colour beginning to drain from my face as I prepared myself for her words. She took a breath before continuing. “Everyone is school is talking about how James and Rebecca were seen kissing after the Quidditch match, apparently they’d snuck around the side of the stands. But someone must have seen them if it’s going around the school, that or Rebecca blabbed.”
I felt a little numb as I processed her words, they seemed to be cutting at my heart and it hurt. I felt myself tearing up at her words.
“As soon as I heard I wanted to come up here and let you know, because I know how much you like James and I didn’t want you to be upset in front of the school,” Isabella told me kindly, she was right, I did prefer it this way, second only to saying it hadn’t happened at all - I would have preferred that more.
I sniffed and felt a few tears falling down my face; I was a stupid idiot, such a stupid idiot, and here I was crying over a boy that wasn’t even mine. He more than likely never would be either.
“I don’t get why I’m crying over this,” I stated, sniffing again and wiping my eyes. “I’m being stupid. Why am I letting myself get so affected by this?”
She placed a hand on my arm and rubbed it comfortingly. “Because you like him, you really care about him. That’s why it hurts, because you have feelings for him.”
“I wish right now that I didn’t,” I said to her, wanting nothing more than to curl up into a ball and cry. “I don’t even know why I do, he’s never going to be mine, he’s never going to feel the same way about me.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Why would he want me? When he can go around kissing girls like Rebecca? I’m stupid for thinking that James would ever look at me twice,” I muttered, frustrated at myself for getting so worked up by this.
“You’re not stupid, and look at how far you and James have got this year alone; he’s talking to you.”
“Yeah, because he felt bad about what happened in September,” I said with a humorless laugh, remembering the love potion incident and James coming to apologise to me. “If that hadn't happened, he wouldn’t have even begun talking to me. He felt guilty about what had happened.”
“He didn’t have to continue talking to you, did he? But he did, because he realised just how great a person you are.”
I gave her small teary smile at her words; it was true that James was talking to me a lot more now, but that still didn’t prove that he would ever look at me in the way that I looked at him.
“It may not happen now, but I am rooting for you two to get together,” Isabella told me honestly, “Just give it time.”
I nodded again as I wiped my eyes with my sleeves. Isabella waved her wand over at her bed and a box of tissues floated across to us. She handed me the box and I took it gratefully, pulling out a few tissues and wiping my eyes with them.
“Now, I think that you should wipe your eyes; we don’t want the others to see you crying, don’t let anyone else know that it’s getting you down,” Isabella told me.
I nodded as I thanked her; she pulled me into a hug before she stood up and walked back over to her bed.
I lay down on my bed, pulling my patchwork quilt over me to protect me from the slight chill in the air and wiped my eyes with the tissues. I just wanted to do nothing but cry.
“Abigail,” Isabella said, causing me to turn my head to look over at her. “You are a million times better than Rebecca will ever be, don’t you ever forget that.”
I tried to believe her words, tried to focus on the way that James had behaved towards me in our Muggle Studies lessons, the fact that he had admitted things to me that I guessed he had only ever told William, but maybe that was how he saw me, as just a friend?
I wasn’t sure I could continue hanging around with James if he did begin dating Rebecca, she wouldn’t like that at all, she would stop it and I would lose having him in my life. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that to happen.
A/N: Thank you once again to my Beta Sam! :D *hugs* This chapter is dedicated to the lovely Laurenzo7321/FredWeasleyIsMyKing for sending me a really lovely PM.
Let me know what you all think! I bet you want to kill me don't you. Sorry! But the next chapter shall be up on the 16th!
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