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Chapter 24 : Izzie’s Mentality, Barney, Fairy’s And Me
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Authors Note: I would just like to thank you for all your support, your reviews and your favorites. It means an awful lot to me. I’ve hit over 100,000 words! That makes me really happy! This is my longest story yet! I never thought it would get this far or be that popular. I just wanted to write about someone who wasn’t perfect, because back when I used to read a lot of them, they all were.
So thank you. You guys make me want to write and if I’m ever having a bad day, I only have to read some of your kind words and I smile.
It hasn’t been edited yet, but I wanted you to read it because it’s one of my favorite chapters of mine. I really like the Nellie and Izzie beginning at the start, Nellie has had so much to focus on lately and been neglecting Izzie a little, so now will be a turning point in their relationship. I’m quite excited about the next chapter as well!
I got a kitten! He's my baby and has this lovely habit of laying on top of the laptop. His name is Dishwasher, but we call him Dishie. He's this beautiful, little tabby thing.
As always, comments and opinions are welcomed.
“Other than that mad moment, I think her ego will get over it. Oh, Remus, you don’t think she has a funny shaped head do you?” - Nellie O'Neill
Chapter Twenty Four-
Izzie’s Mentality, Barney, Fairy’s And Me
“Nellie. Stop it.” Izzie snapped at me as she crunched a piece of parchment into a ball and chucked it at my head. It hit it. Obviously. “You’re really annoying me.” She muttered.
“I can tell you’re upset.” I whined as I poked her arm for the hundredth time. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Another parchment ball hit me right in the face.
“Oh am I really?” She snapped. “Am I upset? Do I look like I’m upset?”
“…Yes…” Her eyes narrowed, “No?” She looked so angry that for a moment, I thought she was going to punch me. “Maybe?”
She sighed. “Forget it.”
“Please tell me.”
“I said no.” Her voice was moody, her face was a scowl. Something was bothering her and I wanted her to talk to me about it.
I thought about pouting but decided against it because I resemble a fish. “Please? With a cherry on top?” Izzie didn’t budge. “And sprinkles? Lots of sprinkles? And-”
Izzie bit her lip and that’s when I knew that a full blown rant was coming my way. "Okay Nellie, you want to know why I'm upset?" I nodded. “I kissed Remus the other night and he freaked out because he’s a werewolf. He said something how he’s planning on being alone for the rest of his life because it's his curse and he’s going to carry it alone.” She said, as she almost sobbed, but she’s Izzie so she managed to hold it back. “And you always seem to be with Lucas these days.” She scowled at me.
“I am not always with him.” I tried to reason with her but she having none of it.
“Nellie. You spend breakfast, lunch and dinner sitting at his damn table!”
“I would try to get him to sit at our table but Sirius would go mad.”
“You haven’t noticed have you? Sirius doesn’t sit on our table anymore. In fact, he’s hardly ever there.”
“Why?” I ran my fingers though my hair frustrated. “He has to eat!”
Izzie shrugged. “I’m not his keeper. I don’t know why he does certain things.” She began re making her bed, straightening every crease out. She measured her bed with her blanket with her eyes and she tried to make the blanket so each side was even. Izzie smiled at her accomplishment; a perfect bed in my eyes, but then she seemed to notice something. A crease. That is when Izzie lost it. She began ripping at her blankets, tearing them and chucking them on the floor. She pushed her pillows on the floor, she grabbed her sheet off the bed and chucked it at me. It landed quite nicely over my head.
I peaked from the sheet to now see her jumping on the bed and we have four poster beds. So she hit her head, which made her give up. She collapsed on her bed, exhausted and still quite angry. I knew I had to be careful, one slight wrong move and she might go off on one again.
I shrugged the sheet off me and walked over to her slowly. “So, Izzie, what exactly happened?” I climbed on the bed right next to her. I turned my head so I could look at her.
Izzie turned away from me.
“You’ve got a lovely back Izzie, but I’d rather see your face.”
She ignored me. “I got rejected Nellie, rejected and I feel so stupid. I mean how the hell could he like me?” I hated her talking about herself like this because Izzie is huge part of my happiness. If she wasn’t happy, I couldn’t be either. “I’m angry. I know that. It’s the only way I can show I care. I struggle with the words that you find easy. It’s how I am.” She paused and I didn’t interrupt her. “He’s so calm and I’m so…not.” She finished.
“It’s okay to be you Izzie. I love you, just how you are. You don’t have to change anything. I mean, who else will help me the next time I stick my fingers together with super glue?” Izzie giggled. Yes, I stuck my fingers together with super glue, I just wanted to see if it was actually super. It is.
“Maybe it’s the shape of my head.” Izzie rambled, “I’ve always thought it wasn’t right.” One of Izzie’s insecurities; her head shape. It’s fine. It really is. She is weird. “Or is it my hair colour?” She sat up and began examining a few strands of her jet black hair. “Should I dye my hair blonde? You’ve got a lovely colour Nellie. How did you get it like that?”
“Genetics.” I replied. “Izzie, your hair is beautiful. Don’t change it. I don’t want to become yang and yang. I quite like you being the yin.”
Izzie blinked rapidly at me. “Or is the fact that I never wear many dresses? Am I not girlie enough?” Her eyes widened. “Maybe he sees me as one of the boys!” I couldn’t help but let out a slight chuckle. “I mean, I am a girl! Maybe I should show it more often. How do you show you’re a girl Nellie? I mean I look at you and think girl, not boy.”
“Izzie, I look at you and think girl, not boy, you bean melt.” I laughed. “Stop it. You’re fine. It’s Remus. You don’t know, he might like you, he’s just scared because of him being a little grizzly every month. I don’t know whether you have noticed but Remus sure puts himself down over his problem.” I thought back to when he told me and how silly he acted. “He just thinks you can do better. The Marauders are complicated. Welcome to my club. Hi, my name is Nellie and Sirius won’t go near me because I dated his brother.”
Izzie laughed, “Hi, I’m Izzie and Remus won’t go near me because he’s a werewolf and thinks he can do better.” Izzie rolled her eyes. “These boys are trying to do what they think is best for us. Isn’t it annoying?”
“Yes.” I agreed. “Especially when you don’t agree.”
The door to the dorm room swung open. Lily skipped, yes, skipped into the room. “Hi Nellie! Hi Izzie! Isn’t it just a wonderful day?”
“It’s night Lily.” Izzie pointed out as Lily came over.
I yawned. “Your rounds good then?” I said, as I got off the bed and started to get changed into my night clothes.
“Yes.” She sighed dreamily and began telling Izzie about her night as I went to go and brush my teeth. Lily yelled some things at me while I was in the bathroom but I told her through tooth paste foam filled mouth that I couldn’t really hear her.
“Nellie, you’re coming right?” Lily asked me when I walked out from the bathroom with my now clean pearly whites.
Hmm. What the cheeses was Lily talking about now? Mmm. Cheese sandwich. “Errr. Yes?”
“You didn‘t hear me? I was yelling pretty loud.” Lily tutted a little. “James is planning me a surprise birthday party and I just wanted to know if you will be there. I looked at the guest list when James wasn’t looking and you had a question mark next to your name.”
“If it meant to be a surprise, then how come you know?”
Lily laughed. “Well, when he left parchment out saying, Lily’s birthday party plans, I sort of guessed, but don’t worry Nellie, I’ve been practicing my surprise face.” She pulled it and to be honest, it looked very convincing, if she didn’t just tell me she knew, I would have believed her. “So are you coming?”
“If I get an invite.”
“Why wouldn’t you get an invite? You’re one of my closest friends.” I had to admit, that lately, I hadn’t been talking to James that much. It was just that Lucas took up a lot of my time.
“When is it?” I asked, excitement running through my veins. I really wanted to go!
“Tomorrow? Oh gosh. Why haven’t I got an invite?” I fumed a little. “I’m going to see them now. Alright? I want my invite!” Lily laughed as I stamped out the room.
I walked down our stairs and headed up to their room. It took me five tries, but I eventually found their room. I walked in, not caring if they were dressed or not, but luckily for the sake of my eyes, they were.
“James Potter!” I yelled.
“Nellie O’Neill!” James yelled back. “And what is this lovely visit for? You haven’t been in here in a while.” He jokingly winked at me and I shook my head.
“You’re a carpet.” I muttered. “Where is my invite to Lily’s party?”
“Nellie. I sent those out weeks ago. Didn’t you get yours? I tried to find you the other week, you were in the library with Lucas, but you had gone to get a book, so I just gave it to him and he said he would give it you.” James looked at me strangely.
“Oh.” I said, crestfallen. There was silence for a few seconds as I thought about my boyfriend. “He must of…forgot or something.”
“Right.” James said, dragging on the word. “He must of forgot the bright blue thing in his bag addressed to you.” James scowled. “I made them all personal! You never did get to see my drawing of a duck then? I mean, I was wondering why you didn’t mention anything about it…or say you were coming. I just thought you were pondering or parties aren’t your thing. And, I couldn’t‘ really get you alone, I mean, Lily is always there and I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“Lily is my friend. Of course, I’d come to celebrate her birthday. I mean, I’ve been working on her birthday present for weeks…” And Lucas had even helped me. He would watch me as I stuck the shells on the photo frame of me, her and Izzie on new year. We were a little drunk on the photo, but we we’re happy and that was what made it perfect.
James noticed my sudden silence. “What?” He paused for a single moment that seemed to last for a decade but was probably only a heartbeat. “Nellie are you okay?”
“It’s just…Lucas has been watching me as I make her present. He doesn’t help, because that makes it impersonal, but he would talk to me…So that means, he really didn’t want me coming to the party and he probably didn’t just forget did he?”
“Oh Nellie…” James began but never got to finish because Sirius, who had been remaining quiet as James and I spoke cut in.
“He’s a idiot.” Sirius fumed, “I mean, what the hell?” He looked at my face and I could tell that it hurt me that Lucas hadn’t given me the invite, he softened. “What you going to do?”
“Send him a stern letter to tell him I am not speaking to him.” I muttered bitterly. “This is going to be our first fight and I’m feeling it’s going to be a big one.” I shrugged. “Anyway.” I tried to shift the conversation away from my personal life and the fact that my boyfriend was one giant fish finger.
“Nellie, how do you know about the party if you never got your invite?” James asked, a little confused.
“Izzie?” It was the first person I could think of other than Lily.
“Oh.” James seemed to believe me and I couldn‘t believe I had managed to lie to James so easily and I was thinking quick. “So you coming then?”
“No, I came to demand an invite for fun.” I replied.
“Okay, the party is in the common room. Be there at eight. I’m going to distract Lily until then, while Peter, Sirius and Remus put up decorations.”
“What’s the dress code?”
“Wear whatever you want. Clothes are the norm.” James shrugged, looking at me oddly.
“Okay then. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I went to walk out the room but Remus voice stopped me.
“How is…Izzie?” He asked, quietly. If a pin dropped, his voice would have faded into the crash.
“She just ripped her bed apart, she wanted to dye her hair blonde and she might start wearing dresses to look like a girl.” I smiled sadly at him. “Other than that mad moment, I think her ego will get over it. Oh, Remus, you don’t think she has a funny shaped head do you?”
“Nothing, I’m just trying to destroy an insecurity she has, and I think your opinion just might help.” I gave a little wave before walking back to my dorm.
I walked in, “I’m coming.” I told Lily who was now sitting on her bed, in her night clothes.
“You alright Nellie?”
“Yes. I’m mad at Lucas though. James gave him my invite and he never gave it to me.”
Izzie scowled, “Got yourself a good one there Nellie.” She said, sarcastically before climbing into bed. “Night.” She turned away from me, as she muttered under her breath about Lucas.
I sighed, before climbing into bed. “Night.”
“Half an hour to go!” Lily shouted suddenly before laughing. “Good night! And you better have gotten me presents for tomorrow.” She grinned, before closing her eyes.
I closed my eyes too and eventually I fell asleep, to where I was the queen, Sirius was the king and Lucas was only the shoe maker.
“Nellie, get up.” Izzie poked me in the forehead. “Stop being lazy. I know it’s Saturday, but still, get out of your bed now.”
“Me sleepy sleepy.” I mumbled.
Then she pushed me out of bed and I hit the floor with a thud.
“Owww.” I complained as I sat up. “Why do you do that for?” I yawned. “That was mean of you Izzie.” I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
“I have a plan.” Izzie winked at me. “I want to go as a vampire. So you have to come as something equally weird too.”
I thought about her idea for a moment and found myself falling in love with the idea. I was surprised that it was Izzie’s idea, but if this was her way of being reckless to heal her bruised ego, then so be it. At least she didn’t go and try to pull his enemy. And the fact that I had did that was the most weirdest thing of all. I hadn’t changed but I was being paid more attention too, but not really from the person I craved it from most; he fed me the wrong attention, full of mixed emotions, scattered thoughts and impulses that you ended up wanting to regret, but found it impossible to do so.
“I think I still have my fairy outfit from the year we dressed up to get sweets.” I told her. “I think it still fits me. I haven’t grown that much anyway. Only my hair seems to be getting larger these days. Honestly.” I tugged it. I had got used to my hair along time ago, the fact that it would always be unruly. I had neither the patience or knowledge to use charms on my hair. It always seemed like a waste of time. Sometimes, I acted like my hair was the biggest problem of all but if I were actually honest, I like my hair. I wouldn’t suit glossy, silky and perfect hair. It would be a whole contradiction of who I was. And that’s why I had already decided I wasn’t going to do nothing to it for tonight. I might put a brush through it but that’s about it. “So shall I wear that?”
“If you want.” Izzie muttered. “As long as you don’t stand on walls this time, jump off and cry when you realize can’t fly.”
“If only I was legal enough to charm them, or my parents had done that for me. I can’t believe they said no.” I muttered angrily under my breath as Izzie laughed at me.
“They said, you’d probably fly into a van, a building, or the elephant at the zoo we visited.” Izzie laughed as she thought back.
“I wouldn’t. I’m a good flyer.”
“Having wings in different than sitting on a broom. I mean, what do you do with your legs? Do you just dangle?” Izzie pondered.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged, as I went to get washed and dressed.
A little while later, I was sitting on Izzie’s bed dressed as a fairy as she looked for her fangs. “I know I left them here somewhere!” Izzie looked into a box. “Aha! I’ve found them.” She popped them into her mouth and completed her vampire look. She had a cape and everything. “I just got to hope I don’t dribble too much.” Izzie muttered, “You ready to go Nellie?”
“Yeah. Are my wings on lopsided?” I said, as I turned around.
“Good.” I linked arms as we walked down from our dormitory to the common room where the party was being held.
“Ah, Nellie. Welcome to the party!” Sirius said when I walked down. He was just wearing a normal shirt and jeans. And, I’m dressed as a fairy. Perfect. “I like your outfit.” He laughed. “You would be the one to dress up.”
“I’m not the only one. Izzie has come as a vampire.” I laughed .
“You make me feel boring. I should of dressed up too.“ He laughed, “Do you want a drink?” He asked, as he led me to the drinks table. “What drink would you like?”
“Whatever you’re having. I’ll be wild tonight.” I joked and Sirius grinned wickedly at me.
He got two cups, grabbed a few bottled of bright colored liquid and poured a bit of each one into the cups. When he had finished, he passed me one cup.
“To Lily, who hasn’t arrived yet.” Sirius said, raising his paper cup.
“To Lily!” We toasted and I took a sip of my drink. It burned my throat but it had a pleasant taste. Sort of like fruit salad. In fact, I liked it so much that I had finished my drink in minutes and demanded Sirius make me another one. And another one. A few more after that too.
Izzie came over, her cape flowing madly behind her. “The fish is out of the water!”
I nodded. “I understand.”
“Well, I don’t. So can someone explain to me?” Sirius asked, as he passed me another cup of my new favorite drink.
“Lily’s coming.” I replied.
“Oh.” Then the lights turned out. “Izzie, Nellie, hide, we’re going to shout surprise when she comes in.”
“Why hide? It’s pitch black. I can’t even see anything.” Izzie reasoned.
“Just hide.” I said, as I grabbed Izzie and pulled her underneath the drinks table. “It’s adds to be the fun doesn’t it?” I couldn’t see her face properly but I swear Izzie just rolled her eyes at me.
The door opened, the lights were on again and I shouted surprise from underneath the table. Izzie crawled out to give Lily a hug and whisper something in her ear. Izzie smirked and Lily shook her head, clearly quite amused at what Izzie had just told her.
I could Lily’s laughter echoing throughout the common room. The sweet, innocent laugh she held that seemed to make everyone in the room smile. Lily as beaming and being around, the beautiful star she was, it was impossible to feel anything negative. So I let the emotions wave over me, I let myself become intoxicated by the happiness of a simple eighteenth birthday. It was like it represented more; this party was my escape. My escape from Lucas, it wasn’t like I was being suffocated. Far from it, I was allowed my own space to flourish and grow, but all I seemed to do was wither. I watched Sirius from under the table because for some reason, I felt I couldn’t go near him. He was far away. His thoughts had drifted off, it seemed for a moment he had shut down, but nobody else seemed to notice but me. The way he would slick off into the corner and sip his drink when the crowds got too much for him, he would do it with such a beaming smile that nobody guessed he wanted to escape. Sirius was a soldier, that’s why he carried on, partying for hours, swallowing drink upon drink to take him away from the idle reality that was his life. Tonight, Sirius had broken his chains and he was free, even if only was for a few hours, I hoped all the heavy burdens he carried everyday that was woven into his soul had softened. I hoped Regulus was far away from his thoughts; the impending doom that he had brought upon himself because he chose the wrong side. I shook my head, I didn’t want to think about it either. I wanted to feel the freedom away from my thoughts.
Sirius caught me looking at him and my heart began thumping so loudly that if it wasn’t for the music blasting through the room, everyone would be able to hear it. My mouth wet dry and I wanted to look away. He was staring at me from across the room with a wry remark etched on his face. Nobody seemed to notice that his eyes were fixed on the girl underneath the table.
I smiled at him as I sipped my drink, it seemed to get stronger with each mouthful of the bitter liquid. I tried to get up, I staggered a little but it was only Sirius who was laughing at me. He seemed to blur for seconds before my eyes could focus on him again. We sort of staggered over to each other, I grabbed him arm to form a human chain but he somehow managed to slip on the carpet with his bare feet and we tumbled on the sofa. I giggled.
“Sirius Black!” I said, mumbling my words slightly. “I think you’re a bit drunk! Like a stunk!”
“I don’t smell!” Hs face was so close that I felt his breath on my face. It smelled of alcohol but instead of putting me off like I thought it would, it only added to his appeal. I closed my eyes for a moment trying to take it all in. “Hey.” Sirius poked me in arm. “Don’t you dare fall asleep!”
“I’m not.” I opened my eyes at him and went cross eyed to show I was awake. “I was resting them.” My dad falls asleep really easily and when you tease him about it, he lies and he says he was just resting his eyes. He is usually snoring too but sometimes, I don’t have the heart to point that out to him and my mom doesn’t even notice it anymore, she says it’s one of the benefits from being with someone for over eighteen years.
“You look funny when you do that.” Sirius laughed at me as he flicked me in the forehead.
“Are you making fun of the way I look?” I pouted as I pushed him off the sofa. He hit the floor only to break into a laugh and I couldn’t help but join in. Even though I wasn’t sure what was exactly funny.
“Of course not. I happen to like the way you look.” His tone was suggestive, flirty and I couldn’t help but blush. “You’re a big bushy haired blonde monster, but I like it.”
I scowled at him playfully. “You just described me as a monster.” Sirius grinned at me. “You sure do know how to flatter a girl. I’m charmed.”
“Excellent.” Sirius sat up. “I’m named after a star.” Sirius told me randomly.
“That’s lovely. Well, a fancy pureblood like you can’t be called Barney can you?” I stuck out my tongue playfully at him.
“Hmmm.” Sirius pondered something for a moment. “Barney Black. It has a ring to it doesn’t it?”
“Oh yesssss.” I chucked myself onto the floor and sat up next to Sirius. “Let’s go outside Barney!” Sirius raised his eyebrow. “Is a great Marauder backing away from a challenge?”
Sirius smirked. “No but you’re going to have to shut that big mouth of yours.” Sirius grabbed my wrist, dragging me out of the common room and I tried to stop myself from giggling. Everyone was too caught up in the party to see us sneaking out, at least I thought so.
We walked as silently as we could manage, meaning we couldn’t bear to look at each other because I knew I would collapse in a fit of giggles and wake the whole of Hogwarts up. The wind nipped my skin as soon as we headed outside, but I didn’t really feel it. I felt the hairs on my arms prickle up, but I didn’t quite feel cold. Sirius dropped my wrist as he stared at a tree like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. “I like that tree.” Sirius muttered, “It shall be mine! It will live in my back garden when I get a house.”
“You seemed to have it all planned.” I said, almost sorrowfully. I tried to hide it but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to leave Hogwarts, because Hogwarts meant Sirius was always near and I didn’t want to think about the future when I didn’t know if I was included in these plans. My insecurities got to me again, as I remembered the vivid dream that comes to me often. I’m walking out of Hogwarts and I’m watching Sirius walk away because I’m not longer needed to be a nuisance in his already complicated life.
“Not really. There are many things I need to sort out before things can slot into place.” He took in a deep breath of air and when he breathed it back out, it came out like a white frost escaping from his mouth. I watched his lips, the way they moved when each letter came out of his mouth. I remember the feeling of them on mine and I suddenly needed to repeat the experience. I kicked the ground to distract me as I looked up at the sky. I was looking around everywhere but never letting my eyes resting on him. “I can see stars Sirius!” I said, slightly slurring my words as I chucked myself on the cold grass. “Ow.” I muttered, rubbing my head. “I’m going to have a bruised head tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry.” Sirius said as he lay down on the grass next to me. “Your hair will cover it up.”
“I supposeeee!” I said, dragging on the word and turning it into a sing song. “I’ll have a bruised head! But it will be fine because I have hair! Thank you for the hair, my dear parents. Thanks for never making me have it above my ears cause you said my ears would stick out too much then!”
“Nellie, what the hell are you going on about?” Sirius laughed as he poked me in my shoulder. “You’re not making any sense, poppet.”
“Did you just say poppet?” I laughed as I gave him my best quizzical look.
Sirius looked just as shocked as I was. “I think I just did you know.” Sirius pulled a few pieces of grass from the ground before chucking it at me. “I don’t think I know anybody who uses that word. You don’t. James, Remus and Peter are weird, but closest thing like that happening is when Peter slept walked and kept on referring to Remus as his mother. Lily doesn’t. It’s not a Izzie word either.”
“Then, perhaps, it’s a Sirius word.” I told him.
“You get fish finger. I get poppet. I think I lost out there.” Sirius sighed dramatically.
“Nothing is better than fish finger. Face it.” I grinned playfully at him as I sat up. My head felt woozy and the world slightly span but I quite enjoyed it really.
“Obviously.” Sirius replied sarcastically. “I will get a better word than you Nell,” I froze up and my mind went black. He called me Nell. He hasn’t used it for a while. Not since we had that fallen out and kisses we had awkwardly shared. He seemed not to notice the effect that one simple word from his mouth had on me. That name was created near the beginning of the relationship, when I was falling for him. Seeing past the façade and falling for the real Sirius; the messy, complicated person that I loved.
“Okay, Siri.” I used his nickname I created too.
Sirius stared at me for the longest time. I turned to smile at him. He seemed to have gotten closer to me because I could feel his body next to mine.
I was overcome with a wave of sickness and my stomach felt like it was tied up in knots.
“Nellie. I know I hurt you when I began a relationship with Sarah,” He clung to my hand, I couldn’t look anywhere but him as a familiar watery feeling began in my mouth. “But I have my reasons for it and I think you deserve to know them.” I felt woozy. “The truth is, she’s blackmailing me.”
And that’s when I threw up thanks to alcohol I consumed all earlier.
All over Sirius.
…to be continued
Next time on The World, Biscuits And Sirius Black According To Nellie O’Neill.
“You don’t have to look after me you know.”
“I know.” Sirius said quietly. “But I want to.” He shrugged at me. “It’ll give me a piece of mind. Plus, Izzie was having some sharp words with Remus that I don’t want to interrupt in.” Sirius paused to think about something for a while as we entered the room. “Nellie, can I ask you something?”
“Go ahead.” I said automatically.
“Izzie doesn’t care that Remus is a werewolf does she?”
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