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The World, Biscuits And Sirius Black According To Nellie O’Neill. by SexyDoorFrames
Chapter 23 : Freaks, Butter face’s, No Jokes and Me
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 17

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Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter.

Authors Notice: Hello! How are you all? Sorry I’ve been a bit AWOL but I have another chapter, which just needs to be edited and it will be up. Happy Halloween everyone! This chapter hasn’t been edited yet, so please bear with me for the mistakes.

Comments and opinions are welcome.

Amazing Chapter Image By aphrodite@tda!

“Don’t say anything because I’m not going to listen. I'm done. Alright. I'm done." - Nellie O'Neill

Chapter Twenty Three-
Freaks, Butter face’s, No Jokes and Me

What sort of word could describe the torrent of emotions whizzing through me at that moment. Pain? Yes. My knees are killing me, I should of fell a little lighter. Next time, I’ll have to think ahead and wear knee pads. Well, I hope there won’t be a next time. I mean, what next? Peter the Pixie? James the Unicorn? Is Sirius actually a quarter troll? I glanced at him. No he looks more like a goblin after cosmetic surgery. As in he looks particularly human. As In…I don’t know anymore.

I’ve gone mental.

Well, more mental than usual.

I remembered the things I had been taught about werewolf’s in all my time in Hogwarts. It not one book did they describe a werewolf as being sweet, lovely and well, Remus.

He can’t be a werewolf. I refuse to believe this.

So what if he told me himself? Maybe he’s just gone insane and likes making up stories to help him feel special. But that doesn’t explain Regulus does it? Well, Regulus can be driven by the horrible aspects of his personality far too often, I call his evil side Marvin. Regulus was the boy I love, Marvin was a part of him I wished I could banish, but Marvin was essential for Regulus. It saved him when otherwise, he could have been hurt. Make no mistake though; Marvin is one fish finger. So Marvin has come out and started making up stuff about Remus.

I’m so confused.


I’ve got it.

It’s a prank. The Marauders were only pretending to go and prank the Slytherins. To make the prank more believable they roped Regulus in. I bet Lily and Izzie were in on it too. I know, why would my friends just prank me? Maybe they knew I’d fall for it. I mean, I am pretty gullible. I’ll be the second to admit that. Izzie would admit be the first. That girl always has to get the first, second, third, last…basically Izzie just has to get her opinion across. If you haven’t figured that out by now.

“This has got to be a joke right?”

“No Nellie.” Remus got down on his knee.

You know what this means?

He is going to ask me to marry him!

It’s a bit odd, since our relationship has never been more than platonic and Izzie might just kill me if I do, but I have to follow these moments. You know, go with the flow. All that sort of rubbish.

“You’re going to propose aren’t you?” I blurted out and Sirius shot me an odd look. I paid no attention to his aesthetically beautiful face. Stop it Nellie. Just because the boy’s appearance may have been sculpted by angels. It still gives you no right to think about him. He’s not yours. Lucas is.

Remus laughed, “No, Nellie. That would annoy a few people, I think.”

Shame. I might have said yes. I don’t fancy Remus, but I love him. Hey, it used to work in the good old days when people wore a lot of lace and rode on horses and always used to shake themselves around not the point, never dancing on top of it.

I was staring in those gentle eyes of his. “I’m sorry. It’s no joke.” He closed his eyes for a moment, exhausted. “When I was little, I was bitten by a werewolf. I’ve been inflicted by this curse ever since.” In his voice, there was no bitterness like I would have expected, just an unnatural feeling of calm. He had accepted his fate and that was it. But if I was him, I would have been mad. I mean, he’s a werewolf, it’s something he has to live with for the rest of his life. It effects him as a being. “I’m sorry. I never really wanted you to find out. I understand…“ he drifted off and we sat in silence for a few moments until he gathered his courage to speak again. “I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore. Most people wouldn’t, I mean I am a creature and-”

I cut him off. “Shut it Remus.” He looked hurt and I softened. “Listen.” I said grabbing his chin so he could look at me because since I told him to shut up, he’d been avoiding my eyes. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. It’s not healthy…babe?” Remus raised his eyebrow as I dropped my hand. “Sorry. It was in Witch Weekly. It’s meant to be comforting or something. Anyway.” I breathed, “Where was I? Oh yes. So you’re a werewolf? So what! I’m annoying. I think my affliction is worse. Yes. I get. Once a month, you get really hairy, but my legs would be like that too if I stopped shaving them after one day, so think about them after a month! Actually don’t, that’s gross.” I paused. “Hey. Maybe you’re a little moody or something as you get four legs, but sometimes I have the moods of an animal once a month too, depending on how lovely my body is being. Usually it gives me the mother of all cramps…” I mumbled. “Anyway. When you’re being a little grizzly, I’m sleeping, but now I know, I’ll wait in the dorm with you with a cup of hot chocolate or something. It’s got to be tiring.” I babbled as Remus smiled warmly at me.

“I didn’t want to tell you. It’s not because I don’t trust you. It’s just because I didn’t want you to change your opinion of me.” Remus quietly told me.

“Never. You’re my lovely Remus, who is my friend.” I kissed his nose. “Who I love and I will accept whatever. And, I understand why you didn’t tell me. I mean, I haven’t told you about the fact that I can’t watch small children eating because it freaks me out. I can’t stand peas and I only learned to ride a bike age fourteen.” I laughed. “See Remus? We’re all freaks here.”

I looked Izzie. “You figured it out? Didn’t you?” Izzie nodded. “And you didn’t tell me because it wasn’t your secret.” I looked at Lily. “You figured it out too?”


“And I was the only one not to know? Oh great. That makes me feel like a genius. Last one to know. Last one to figure it out.” I ranted to myself.

I wish I was smart. Then I wouldn’t look so stupid in this room.

“Listen Nellie. Want to know something that Lily and Izzie hasn’t figured out? Well. If they have, they better pretend not to.” Sirius whispered in my ear as he pulled me up.

“I have no idea what you’re going on about Sirius.” Izzie said as Lily shrugged.

Sirius, James and Peter shared a look and suddenly there bodies started to morph. Where Sirius was standing, there was a large black dog, James a beautiful stag and Peter, the cutest rat I had ever seen.

I looked at Izzie and Lily, they were equally as shocked as I was. Nobody could fake the saucer look. Suddenly I felt like I had been in this situation before.

Then it hit me, the time when I could have that been the next Noah. It’s them. The animals. All that time I was talking to the Marauders minus Remus. Its so weird.

Then I broke out into a laughing fit. If I was eating, I’d be choking.

Sirius barked and that just made me laugh even more.

Then I started sneezing. One sneeze. Two sneezes. Three sneezes.

More laughing.

“Nellie, what are you laughing at?” Izzie asked.

“It’s just them in this form before. I was ranting to them about Regulus. We had a fight.”

“Is that the one when you went a little crazy? You know, got sliced, slapped me. That one?”

“Yes. It was that one. I’m mad. Magic I don’t deserve making me crazy. The one went you were ranting about Sirius.”

“You sure do annoy me sometimes Nellie.” Regulus muttered under his breath as he thought back.

“You annoy me all the time.”

“That’s so lovely of you Nellie. No wonder I hate you.”

“Keep telling yourself that Regulus. You might believe it some day.” I shrugged as I didn’t look at him. Once again me and Regulus was arguing.


“Death Eater!” I snapped back. He looked at me with a furious expression, I had hurt him I could tell.

Then, his rage took over him. I watched as it turned my Regulus into a beast. “You know what Nellie? It’s no wonder why I didn’t tell you that your parents were going to be attacked. I can’t be bothered to help you.”

Then the anger took over my body and turned it into a beast. A wild beast. A beast that will have no control of her actions. “You what?”

Regulus then realized the words that had come out of his mouth. The words that killed me a little inside. The words that made me so upset. He knew that the two of the people I loved most in the world were going to be attacked and he didn’t tell me. I could of warned them, told them to get the hell out of there, they could have died.

I never thought I could hate Regulus but whatever I’m feeling comes pretty close.

“Regulus; they could of died.” I fumed, like a rabid animal. Except I wasn't foaming at the mouth. “Why the hell were they attacked?”

“Trying to clear the world of mud-.” He stopped and looked at Lily. “Muggle borns.”

I shook my head. I just couldn’t believe him.

“I can’t believe you would hide that from me.” I fumed, “It’s wrong. I should have known. All this time, I’ve been walking around idle and you’ve known all this time.” I shook my head, “I thought better of you. I really did.”

“Nellie….” He began.

“Don’t say anything because I’m not going to listen. I'm done. Alright. I'm done."

“You what?”

“I want nothing to do with you. I don’t ever want to speak to you. I’m not even going to look at you. Regulus we’re finished. Everything we had, you’ve just gone and burnt it, like toast.” I started to cry and I didn’t know why. “Look what you’ve done? I don’t know why I’m crying. I expect you to fail me sometimes Regulus, all people unfortunately do. Even I do. But this is out of order.” I sniffed quietly to myself. “You’re a big fat butter face.”

Sirius engulfed me in his arms. “I’m sorry Nellie. My brother is stupid.” He whispered in my ear. He smelled like Sirius; comforting. I slightly wailed as I cried on his shoulder, making his robe all damp. “Shhhh. Nellie. It will be okay.” I don’t know why Sirius was the first to comfort me, but I liked it. He’s almost as good as cuddles as Izzie.

“You’re such an idiot Regulus. Get in the corner and turn around. I don’t want to see your face. Think about what an awful human being you are.” Izzie shouted at Regulus while pointing to the corner. For some reason, he complied. I think he felt bad…maybe I should go over and talk to him…

No. Nellie.

Stop it.

Whack him with your wand!

He’s a butter face!

I couldn’t’ help but feel a little hollow. I love Regulus, I really do but there is so many times he can hurt me. There are only so many times I can handle him letting me down. I know people can’t be perfect, but Regulus was damaged goods. It’s like he can see the right option and chooses to go against it. It’s almost like he wants to hurt me.

And if that’s true, that is something I can’t handle. All I ever wanted was for someone to love me, to care for me. Not someone who is trying to destroy me, piece by piece because eventually I’m going to break.

It was stupid falling in love with him but I couldn’t help him. If he didn’t act like
Marvin, he would be my beautiful Regulus.

“Where the hell is the Regulus I love?” Regulus turned around to look at me. His stony grey eyes looking straight through me. “What happened to the boy who used to lay his head in my lap while I plaited his hair until my legs went numb?”

“I don’t know Nellie.” He said so quietly that if the room wasn’t so silent, I wouldn’t have heard him. “I really don’t know.” He wanted to say more but stopped because of the audience in the room.

Sirius arms were still wrapped against my body, holding me close to him. I couldn’t understand how two people could come some from the same home yet end up completely different.

“Reggiiee!” The piercing wailings of a madwomen destroyed the silence. “Where are you?”

“Cassie?” Regulus yelled back.

“It’s me! My love!” She yelled back.

Regulus shuddered and frowned. “I accidentally locked myself in a room. Come and find me.”

“What room are you in?”

“I don’t know, open them all.” Regulus sighed as Lily stood up. “You might as well as sit back down. She’s going to be a while.” Lily looked at him oddly. “She gets lost and accidentally ends up in the boys dorms all the time.” Regulus leaned back on the door and that’s when it opened.

Regulus toppled to the floor and the look on Cassandra face was priceless. It was as if she watched him been murdered. I mean he had only fallen over. Then she screamed. “You’ve killed him!” She wailed, shaking her head. Only her blonde hair didn’t move. Someone had obviously put on a little too much hairspray.

Regulus sat up, confused. “Cassie. I’m alive.” She was still wailing. “Cassie!” He yelled and she noticed that he was in fact alive and we hadn’t murdered him. She just looked at awe at him as he stood up and dusted himself off.

“Regulus?” She questioned as he looked at her. “You do keep such interesting company.” Someone got over his almost death quite quickly. What a drama queen!

Regulus raised his eyebrow. “Cassie.” He only had to say her name and she was mesmerized. “Do you honestly think I’d end up here on purpose?” He presses his lips against her for a single second but it’s enough to destroy me a little more. I could feel the lump rising in my throat and I quickly swallowed it down again. I refused to cry in front of Cassie-My-Hair-Doesn’t-Move. It’s funny, I’ve been to lots of places with Regulus, he took me to hell quite regularly, I should have purged him from my system by now, but I hadn’t. In some ways I had moved on, I can feel romantic feelings for other people. I had even managed to love another, in fact I might love him even more. I no longer cry when I think I about our time together and I no longer need the insults about him from Izzie to make me feel better. I no longer needed to be told lies, that he didn’t deserve me, that I was wonderful and I would get over him. But in other ways, I hadn’t. I wasn’t ready to let go, I kept clinging to memories, jealousy still pangs me every time I think about him with another and everything he does still hurts me. He shouldn’t have the power to reduce me to some crazy mess. “Say no more about it. Shall we go back to the common room?” Cassie nodded, before walking out of the room. She held out her hand for Regulus to take and he looked at me.

Those taunting grey eyes looked at me, with such sorrow that my head started to feel fuzzy. Then, he mouthed six words that would take me back to hell again.

‘Don’t hate me, I love you.’

Then, with one last glance, he took Cassie’s hand and strolled out of the room. Not daring to look back again, but if he did, he would have saw me. Someone who is utterly without a doubt the biggest idiot in the world.

Want to know why?

I will never be done with him.

I know. Chuck me in therapy now.

That would be the best thing.


“Come on Nellie.” Izzie tugged at me and I realized Sirius was still holding me. I had gotten so comfy that I had stopped noticed his musky scent, the way his heart was beating against his chest loudly. The way the crinkles in his forehead make him look slightly distressed. The way his eyes stared at the wall, he was miles away and untouchable. Sirius slowly let go of me as if I was a delicate and I might shatter suddenly at any time. Izzie reached out and her slim, pale fingers snaked around my wrist. “Let’s go. I need to sleep. And have a bath, I feel so dirty. I bet this room is a living breeding ground for germs and I’ll be dead by tomorrow.” She took in a swift breath. “But whatever, I’ll guess I’ll find out tomorrow or not, if I’m dead you know.” She was rambling, to take me away from my torrid of thoughts. I could only focus on her words and I was thankful for that. It had been a strange night. I admit it. I had found out more than I ever wanted to really. “Gosh, Nellie. You smell.” She sniffed her clothes. “I smell too!” She looked at me, the horror etched on her face. “I’ve never smelled in my life!” This wasn’t probably strictly true, “Well, I’ve always smelled nice…never bad…” She drifted off as she continued to drag me, moving me forward because I probably wouldn’t be able to do it by myself. The others walked slowly behind us, the joy of a prank forgotten but something had changed. I had learned some terrible truth today and it had taken a swipe at my innocence I held dear, or maybe I didn’t have any to start off with. Without a doubt, something had changed. I just couldn’t figure out what.

Maybe this is what they meant by growing up.

…to be continued

Next time on The World, Biscuits And Sirius Black According To Nellie O’Neill.

“Hmmm.” Sirius pondered something for a moment. “Barney Black. It has a ring to it doesn’t it?”

“Oh yesssss.” I chucked myself onto the floor and sat up next to Sirius. “Let’s go outside Barney!” Sirius raised his eyebrow. “Is a great Marauder backing away from a challenge?”

Sirius smirked. “No but you’re going to have to shut that big mouth of yours.” Sirius grabbed my wrist, dragging me out of the common room and I tried to stop myself from giggling. Everyone was too caught up in the party to see us sneaking out, at least I thought so.

We walked as silently as we could manage, meaning we couldn’t bear to look at each other because I knew I would collapse in a fit of giggles and wake the whole of Hogwarts up. The wind nipped my skin as soon as we headed outside, but I didn’t really feel it. I felt the hairs on my arms prickle up, but I didn’t quite feel cold. Sirius dropped my wrist as he stared at a tree like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. “I like that tree.” Sirius muttered, “It shall be mine! It will live in my back garden when I get a house.”

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