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The World, Biscuits And Sirius Black According To Nellie O’Neill. by SexyDoorFrames
Chapter 3 : Talks, Detention, Marauders And Me
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 49

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Disclaimer I don’t own Harry Potter. I only own Nellie and Izzie. The rest belongs to JK. Including characters, settings, objects e.g.

If I owned Harry Potter, Peter would be cooler, would have just a tuff of hair and be addicted to pop music while hell bent on taking over, not just UK, the world!

Filch would have been the next Minster of magic too.

Also, I don’t own Eeny, meeny, miny, moe either. It is a children’s nursery counting rhyme. It’s exact creation time or who created it is unknown, but whoever did create it, it belongs to them.

Authors Note Hello there, welcome to the next chapter. I’m sorry it took so long. I’ve had ideas. I started this a few days ago but still only managed to fit in writing it tonight.

When the next update will be?

I have no idea sorry. I’ve started college and it’s a lot more work. It’s quite heavy there, but I will try at least, but I can’t say when it will be out. College is fun though.

A few hints to what is happening next chapter, which I have a clear outline for. It looks a little deeper into Nellie’s past.

I’m so happy with all your feedback, you people are amazing. You all make my day. I’m so glad you like the character ‘Nellie’ out of all my characters, along with Ana/Oscar; she is one of my favourite to write. Probably because she comes so easily. It seems naturally, plus it’s very enjoyable to write about a character that makes a fool out of herself and you have to dig deep to find her talents.

So thank you very much. Oh at the bottom of each chapter, there is now, what happens next time. The earlier chapters have been edited to adapt to this idea.

As always, thoughts and opinions are welcomed. It’s not that much on a comedy side today, more like a needed chapter to get to where I want to.

Amazing Chapter Image by hannahduval@TDA

“Snorting is not attractive.” - James Potter

Chapter Three
Talks, Detention, Marauders And Me

If life can be described by using any word, then right now that word would be weird.

I mean today, I woke up with one sock on. One umbrella-decorated sock. Where is the missing one? I haven’t found it yet because it’s probably lost in the dumping ground I call my corner. It’s really an organized mess. Nobody else sees it that way.

Izzie is a neat freak. She’ll spend an hour straightening out every crease on her skirt or shirt, where I think it’s cool to be crinkly. Izzie thinks I’m mad, but Izzie is the mad one around here. Who labels their underwear? Izzie does!

So, I’ve lost a sock. It’s been happening quite a lot lately. It explains why now I’m wearing an electro blue one and a red one with ladybugs. I would have taken a pair of Izzie’s but who knows how many pairs of socks she has labeled? It would be impossible to parade around wearing her socks without her noticing.

And then I spilled gravy all over myself this morning because Nearly Headless Nick appeared in the middle of the chicken platter and almost frightened me to death. Well, not literally to death. I too could pop up from the chicken.

That would be cool…but sort of creepy.

I walked to my wonderful detention with Binns. It should be fabulous if he doesn’t talk. That’s why I’m dragging my feet. A snail would beat me in a race hands down.

I’m really excited as you can probably tell.

I got there to find four surprises were already sitting there.

It just gets better doesn't it?

Yes, you guessed right. Sirius, James, Remus and Peter were already sitting in Professor Binns’ classroom. They gave a little wave, but I ignored it and glared before sitting as far as I could away from them. They always seem to get me in trouble, you see.

“We don’t have any kind of contagious disease, you know.” Sirius remarked when I sat down.

“I’m not too sure…” I mumbled, looking around the classroom and everywhere a Marauder wasn’t. In a flash, four boys were sitting next to me. Sirius and James sat either side of me with Remus and Peter sitting on the desk in front but they were sitting backwards so they could talk to me.

If only I was Clarissa McKowans. She would have loved this since she fancies them. She is known for throwing herself all over people… especially the Marauders. I think it’s because she’s so insecure and self-loathing that she needs the extra love. She has this friend called Sarah…but I refuse to talk about her.

That is just my theory anyway. I’ve never talked to her. Besides, I don’t think she likes me. She gave me a dirty look yesterday just because I walked into her. It’s a common mistake I make with everyone.

“What are you doing here?” I tried to ask coldly but it came out too cheerful. Damn. I should learn to sound cold and indifferent. It might come in handy one day. I must put that on my never-ending list of things to do.

“We have detention with Binns.” James answered.

“You actually go to them?” I asked. “However do you fit them all in?”

Sirius laughed, but his laugh seemed odd, like it was hiding the very thing that made him who he was; a Black. The curse of the Blacks had tainted him. It had turned his soul into a murky grey colour, his laugh disguised him like some kind of Muggle magic show. The real person hid in the hat and the person putting on the show was this aloof, charming, carefree boy but what I remember from my talks with Regulus Black, Sirius was anything but.

“We don’t usually.” Sirius shrugged it off lightly.

I looked at him before shaking my head; I hoped Binns was coming soon.

“I loved how you dropped all that gravy on you this morning.” Sirius joked but I frowned.

“That wasn’t funny. It was hot.” I grumbled at the very thought of it. People had always laughed at me because of that. Again. Sirius and James just sniggered. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Remus was trying very hard not to laugh. “Just laugh Remus, It’ll be easier.” I sighed and Remus obliged with my request; he too was now laughing at me.

Peter was the only one not laughing, because I don’t think he was paying any attention to the conversation and was trapped within his own thoughts.  I hoped whatever he was thinking about, it was something good.

”Don’t you guys ever do that?” I asked, thinking of my latest antics and how people seemed to be laughing at me more recently. I've never quite blended in but I've never stood out either.

“Do what?” James asked confused.

“Make utter fools of yourselves?” I asked more rhetorically. I think they felt compelled to answer anyway.

All of them, including Peter, paused for a moment, as if they were actually contemplating it.

“I suppose we do occasionally.” Sirius was the first to answer. “It’s just…”

“Everybody doesn’t think we’re being fools… we’re being cool.” James finished for him as if he knew exactly what Sirius was going to say. Sirius nodded in agreement.

James straightened out his robes nervously, Sirius wore a grinning mask, Remus looked deep in thought and Peter fiddled with his hands as his eyes lay fixated on the spot of dirt on the floor.

I was about to say something but that’s when Binns chose to float through the door. Yes, he floated through it. Being a ghost has to have some type of perks right?

Otherwise, why would you want to be a ghost? It’s not the most cheery thing in the world.

I’d rather be a dragon. I’d be a pink one with mustard coloured eyes…or if I was going to be an evil dragon, I’d be a red one with black eyes. I don’t think you can become a dragon when you die though, so that idea is a little useless. It was typical. All the good ideas never come true.

“You will be polishing the trophy room without magic.” Binns said in his dull tone. “Please place your wands on the desk.” All of us unwillingly got out our wands and placed them on the desk.

“Professor, we’re sitting ducks for Slytherins without our wands!” Sirius complained.

“That’s nonsense.” Binns replied as if the idea was ridiculous.

You see, Slytherin and Gryffindor have never gotten on. It started back with the founders of this school. I don’t know what happened; I skipped that chapter. Both houses argue and fight more often than any of the houses. It’s probably because our traits are so different and we’re from opposite sides of the spectrum. Plus, both houses are bit gobby too.

We’re born and raised to detest each other, but sometimes it’s not always like that.

“Everything you need is already set up. When it’s finished, collect your wands from me and you’ll all be free to go. Good night.”

I walked behind the group as we headed towards the trophy rooms.

“This sucks.” Sirius grumbled. “We polished it last week!”

“Yeah,” James said rolling his eyes, agreeing with Sirius. “I could probably tell you who got what award and when.”

“So you go there often?” I asked, humming to myself.

“Well, yes.” James replied in a ‘I just told you that’ tone of voice.

“Ever thought about not getting a detention?” I asked.

“Never.” Sirius replied, “Detentions are a way of life.” Remus shook his head but said nothing.

“I suppose that’s what makes people love you.” I murmured thinking this must be the side that appeals to those girls; the cliché bad boy image.

Sirius grinned, “So whose fan girl are you?” he asked cheekily.

“What?” I asked confused as my nose crinkled up like those crinkle crisps.

“Well,” James began to explain. “We have our own fan club each. Like one girl likes a typical Marauder better than she likes another one. She has a favourite. You know, like music band. You always have favourite member.” He explained.

My lips formed a little ‘o’.

“So whose are you?”

“Hmm.” I pondered it for a moment. Honestly, I didn’t have any favourite; each had their strengths and weaknesses.

“Eeny,” I pointed at James, “Meeny,” I pointed at Remus, “Miny,” I pointed at Peter, “Moe,” I pointed at Sirius.

“Is she trying to trap us with a spell?” James asked, quite confused.

“I don’t know.” Sirius responded equally confused. Being pureblood they had both learned wizard nursery rhymes and not the Muggle ones.

“It’s a Muggle children’s nursery rhyme.” Remus laughed as he rolled his eyes at his friends being confused at such a simple things.

Sirius huffed a little. “Can’t you do it without the nursery rhyme?”

“It’s unfair if I do it any other way. I don’t know any other way to pick.”

Sirius sighed, “You’re odd Nellie. In fact, I think you passed odd a long time ago.”


“Usually you already have a favourite after a glance.” Sirius sighed as he opened the door to the trophy room.

“Perhaps I’m not the usual person.” I grinned before walking past Sirius and into the trophy room.

As Binns had said, the cleaning appliance was set up for us in the middle of the room. “How long does this usually take you?” I ask.

“A couple of seconds probably.” James responded as he glanced around the all too familiar space.

“What?” I squeaked. “How?”

“With these, you dummy.” Sirius said as he whipped out five wands from his pocket.

“How’d you snatch them without Binns noticing? What if he notices our wands aren’t there?” I chewed on my lip, thinking I could get into even more trouble.

“Easy.” Sirius smirked. “The Geminio spell of course. When Binns was talking about the Slytherin thing, I swapped the real ones for the fake ones.”

“What’s Geminio?” I asked, thinking it had to be something to do with fake wands, but I’d never even heard of it before.

“It duplicates the target object.” Remus said, “We’re learning about it soon in Transfiguration I think.”

“Oh that’s is great.” I rolled my eyes. I was rubbish at Transfiguration. It took me ages to transform a beetle into a button. Even then it wasn’t circle; it was square. James, Sirius, Remus and even Peter were good at the subject. They’d get an Outstanding at the end of the year most probably. I was a little jealous if I was honest.

“Not a fan of Transfiguration?” Remus asked gently.

“Not really.” I mumbled. I prefer Defence Against The Dark Arts.

“How long are we waiting tonight?” Peter asked, changing the subject, which I was happy about.

“I’d say about half an hour to an hour at most.” James answered before sitting down on the floor. I joined him. We all sat in a circle. Sirius chucked me my wand which I caught then dropped on the floor.

“How’s your book?” Sirius asked as James and Remus sniggered a little. Peter was focusing on a large trophy in the middle of a cabinet.

Damn these Marauders! Do they have to tell each other everything?

How weird. They are almost like us girls.

“Izzie ripped it up.” I sighed, “She tried feeding it to Fire Whiskey. It didn‘t work, obviously.”

“She tried feeding a book to a…drink?” Sirius bit on his lip as he pondered something.

“No!” I laughed. “Fire Whiskey is my owl.”

“Oh.” James nodded.

The fact that Fire Whiskey was an owl made the concept of trying to feed it a book so much easier to grasp.

“Why was she trying to feed it a book?” Remus asked, mildly amused. Because it was a book, he would usually have been horrified. But the book in question was about how to make guys fall for you, so it didn’t really matter to Remus at the moment.

“No idea.” I smiled. “That’s just Izzie. She’s odd.”

“So Sirius,” I began, “Managed to check that bottle yet?”

“No. Not yet.” He grinned at me.

I smiled before pulling out a packet of biscuits. “Biscuits anyone?” I asked as I opened the packet.

“These are the ones you gave us last time right?” James asked, as Sirius nodded.

Each Marauder took a biscuit and was happily munching on the crunchy heavenly goodness.

“If only we had some tea.” James commented sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

“I know…” I sighed dreamily. “But I can’t go into the kitchens for another three months or so.”

“Why?” Peter asked.

“You know the pans?”


“Well, I ended up knocking most of them off because of the apples. “

Sirius snorted.

James looked at him, “Snorting is not attractive.”

“Neither is your face.” Sirius quickly retorted back.

Remus and Peter shook their head at the childish banter.

“So, Sirius snorts…” I grinned wickedly, “Fan girls will be happy to know this.”

“Don’t you dare!” Sirius warned.

“They don’t know his dirty secret...” James joined in the joke. “Perhaps they’ll be members of my fan club after they know your awful truth Padfoot..."

“No!” Sirius yelled back.

“Yes!” James yelled.

Then Sirius pretended to faint like a drama queen. He was actually doing a good job of it too before James decided to sit on him.

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

Then I revealed my dirty secret too.

I also snorted. Be Continued

Next time on The World, Biscuits And According To Nellie O’Neill.

I opened the letter ever so carefully, I didn‘t want to tear it. I instantly noticed it was his handwriting. The neat scribble which required no effort. I could make out his words perfectly. He still made me smile, I quickly glanced at him, he had gotten more handsome over the holidays, but he hated me. He said so himself. I tore my eyes away from him. I wouldn’t want to let anyone catch my silly glances. I sighed heavily, I thought this game of was over. ended, why was I becoming tainted in it again?

Why was he opening his and mine wounds that had been recently sealed? I just didn’t understand. Not that I understood much anyway.

I still cared for him, I was trying to push the feelings into platonic, but they still board lined romantic but still I was compelled to go. He only called when he needed me and I tried never to let anyone down.

That didn‘t mean I wanted to go though.

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