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The Marauder's Guide: To All Things Good by prongslittleflower

 
Rating: MatureStory Reviews: 41
 
Chapters: 23
Words: 189618
Characters: Dumbledore, McGonagall, Lupin, Snape, James, Lily, Sirius, Pettigrew, OC
Genre(s): Humor, Romance, Action/Adventure
Era: Marauders
Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily, James/OC, OC/OC, Remus/OC
Status: Work In Progress
First Published: 2011.08.03
Last Published Chapter: 2017.12.12
Last Updated: 2017.12.12
Favorite Story Of: 41 users
 
Advisory: Contains profanity, Mild violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

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Lovely banner by Chella over at TDA!

Lyla Parker (soon to be Lupin) and Alexa Parker (never to be Black) aren't sure when everything got so complicated but they've narrowed it down to four persons, the Marauders, and one stupid book they live their lives by.  Weddings. A baby. Seventh year. When life hands you lemons...

Sequel to Can't Touch This.

Favorite |Reading List |Currently Reading

Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews Read
1 Rule 28: Dropping the Subject

“Lyls?” Blair asked looking up and seeing my sisters slightly green face. Then, without warning, she raced from her seat and inside to what I assumed would be the bathroom. As Remus took off after her, Blair looked at the list Lyla had been looking off of. “Well, I assume that ‘Gizzard’ won’t be on the menu.”

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2 Rule 112: The Element of Surprise

“Don’t get discouraged though, Lyls,” she told me, giving my shoulders a squeeze. “We will find you a dress and you will look absolutely beautiful.” “And if we don’t find anything,” Alexa added, “We’ll come back to this place and get that peach dress.” I shook my head and just laughed. 

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3 Rule 85: Marauder Gift Giving

 “How so?” I asked while trying to comprehend what was going on here. Yes, I loved my sister to death and she was easy to be jealous of, but she was seventeen, unwed, and pregnant. Somehow, that didn’t seem like getting everything to me. 

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4 Rule 157: Never Let a Pregnant Woman Wield a Basket

“Do I have to?” I asked. Remus just placed a kiss on the top of my head and nodded. I pushed open the door slowly and saw Alexa sitting at the bar stabbing a piece of pie my mother had made the night before. I went to the side of the island across from her and watched as she assaulted the flaky crust. “So…”

“I’m pretending that this is your face,” she informed me dully.

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5 Rule 76: Emotional Dealings

“Well, there’s a change of events if I’ve ever heard one.” Remus put in and as Blair took a break from shoving food into her mouth, she put her own opinion in. “And let me tell you, I will never try to keep up with Lily Evans ever again.”

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6 Rule 34: Invitations

“I don’t think you have the right to make that choice for me, Remus. I’m a grown woman, this is my party, and I’ll go where I want to.” With that, she made her way to the front of the disinterested line. Remus, Sirius, and I watched while Lyla gave the bounce a coy smile and he flashed a large set of white teeth at her before opening the rope and allowing her in. 

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7 Rule 97: In Regards to Professional Photography

“I love you too,” I responded. “And Sirius,” I said looking over to Sirius, “If any of you show up tomorrow even the slightest bit inebriated, I will personally murder every single one of you.” I gave him a sweet smile and Sirius just laughed. 

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8 Rule 15: Foreigners

 Rule 15: You are a foreign man, therefore use your foreigness to attract women (and in the event that you enjoy their company, to keep them).

9344 5
9 Rule 72: Never Leave A Man Behind

Long awaited and terribly short. *sorry*

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10 Rule 44: Regarding a Marauder's Health

“Lyla-darling, really? You would laugh at the jest of your best friend dying?” Sirius placed a hand on his heart, making a pitying look with his signature puppy eyes. “I guess my best friend hugs will just be wasted on someone else then.” 

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11 Rule 6: Pranking

 He rolled his eyes at Alexa and then leaned back in his seat.  “Enjoy it while it lasts, this is the first and last time I will be early for class.  My intense love of pranks just happens to be much stronger than my need to be chronically late.”

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12 Rule 60: A Point on Meddling

 Lyla ducked behind a conveniently placed wooden chest as a pair of footprints ran past. I continued to pick at my chipped fingernail polish as Lyla took a minute to think about her answer. “I think that it’s probably best if you don’t get involved. You know what happens when you meddle. Need I remind you of what happened when you meddled and thought that Sirius was engaging with Laura?”

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13 Rule 13: Enraged GIrlfriends


Seeing as I was moving slower than normal, it was a struggle to catch up with Blair.  When we were within earshot of her, Alexa yelled out to her.  “Blair, please stop for a second,” she begged.  “Lyla is going to have this baby right here on the street if we try to keep up with you, and I for one am not prepared to bring a life into this world.”  Blair stopped her forward progress. 

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14 Rule 59: Jumping to Conclusions

“He just gets it. He just gets me, and everything that is happening with James. Matt just went through a break up with his girlfriend, and he just understands what’s going on.” She got a look in her eye, talking about Matt and just thinking about him, and I felt a sinking in the pit of my stomach.

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15 Rule 131: Catching a Break

“That giant oversized bird is a pain." Alexa stated matter-of-factly.  “It’s being difficult on purpose.”  I nodded my head and calmed her back down as we both fell into a silence to think.  What is mine but is used far more by other people than myself?  We could figure this out.  I mean, Ravenclaws are smart and all, but surely this could be too hard to figure.

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16 Rule 196: Marauders and the Company They Keep

“Lyla’s in her recovery room. She’s awake if we want to go see her, but Doctor Mullen said it would be best if it were just Remus and one other person at this time. We don’t want to overwhelm her.” Remus stood quickly, passing a hand through his hair and straightening his shirt.

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17 Rule 21: Liquid Problem Solving

“I have a feeling it has something to do with me,” I told her.  Remus was talking with Monica’s husband on the other side of the room, but he was watching me.  “Did you know mom basically told everyone not to even say the word baby or any word related to babies?”

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18 Rule 63: On Receiving Detentions...

 I smiled in my stupor, holding onto him for support and listened to Blair’s melodious voice as she talked endlessly about the merits of super-waterproof mascara. “Gripping. Truly compelling,” Remus said as we reached the Common Room, and I laughed as Sirius placed me on my feet.

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19 Rule 38: Quarreling (Especially of the Sibling Variety)

 Alexa and I walked side by side all the way back to the common room. Not a word passed between us. We had always been comfortable in the silence. We used to be able to sit in silence for hours, each other’s company enough to feel connected. But now, the silence made my skin crawl, and I felt such distance even as our feet carried us to the same destination.

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20 Rule 93: Man with the Plan

 “Because I’m not the one who lost my letter, am I?” He rolled his eyes at me, and then stood from the table. “Come on, I’ll go with you to ask her tonight when we get finished with dinner. We have rounds at 8, and you can come with us for the first part.”

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21 Rule 40: Engaging in Stealth

Sirius jumped in as everyone else in the room began to congregate around us. He leaned in with a stern look on his face and clenched teeth, “No one else cares that you don’t want to be here, so keep it down and act like the happy nice witches I know you can be.” He snapped upright from our little powwow and James clapped his hands together to get everyone’s attention.

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22 Rule 127: Celebrating Birthdays

 "I know. Me too." She said in a quiet voice. I looked over at her to see her picking the nail polish from her impeccable nails, a nervous habit she had picked up recently. "I can't help but think, why Remus, you know? Out of everyone in this stupid castle, why him? Can't he just be happy? Can't we just put the pieces of our life back together before something else has to come and happen?"

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23 Rule 201: When a Marauder's Girlfriend(s) Insists Upon Meddling...

Rolling my eyes at her, I took the cup from her and took a sip of the warm contents letting it warm me from the inside out. I noticed that Alexa kept looking past me toward the second room that was beside mine and Remus’s.  With a guilty look on her face she said, “So, I either did something really, really stupid, or something kind of ingenious.” 

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