| ||Rating: 12+||Story Reviews: 1100|
Characters: Harry, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape
First Published: 2006.10.20
Last Published Chapter: 2008.07.31
Last Updated: 2008.08.09
Favorite Story Of: 747 users
| ||Advisory: Mild Language|
|The HPFF Dobby Awards: Winner - Best Humour (2009)|
|Hilarious banner by follow_the_butterflies!|
Severus Snape, UNWRAPPED.
(If you don't laugh when you read this story, you probably don't know how to.)
Final chapter up! But look out for a sequel...
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|Ch. #||Chapter Title||Word Count||Reviews||Read|
|1||The Mad, Harry Beginning
Harry Potter comes to Hogwarts. And unfortunately there seems to be no way to stop him.
|2||First Lesson and Ferreting
While unburdening the particulars of his first lesson with the Gryffindor First Years, Snape reminisces about, well, ferreting. . .
|3||The Painters Are In
Something shameful happens, and Snape learns the facts of life.
|4||Shoe Shoppin' Snape
Everyone needs shoes. Severus Snape is no exception.
|5||Quidditch, Quirrel, and Quarrels
Potter gets onto the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and other catastrophes.
|6||The Fluffy Halloween Fiasco
A troll gets into the dungeons. Snape runs after some socks. Naturally, it is all Harry Potter's fault.
|7||This Snape is Bananas
A professor must have some educational way to amuse himself...
|8||Composure, Curses, and, of course, Conniptions
Snape saves Harry's life. But will he forgive himself? He also has an important conversation with Dumbledore...and catches McGonagall at something mildly shocking...
|9||Love, Hormones, and Other Household Pests
"Death I can face, pain I can handle, but teenage romance—that and bubblegum flavored ice cream—can put me off food for days. And I'm not much for Filch's singing voice either. Or smiling."
|10||Holiday Havoc and Christmas Cavorting
Severus basks in the Christmas spirit.
|11||Quirrel v. Grease Lightning
Our feminist hero fails to expell Harry Potter, and then takes a long, solitary walk...with Quirrel.
|12||Middle Aged Women
What does Trelawney See? Why is Severus required to write poetry and learn how to ride a broomstick? And why, for Goodness' sake, why is McGonagall's hat fireproof?
|13||Love Letters, Poetry, Well-Timed Insults, and Other Literature
Our Great Narrator sees a little too much of Harry Potter. And then has some writing to do.
|14||Snape the Ref
Severus has a bit of trouble referreeing the game, and makes himself feel better with a bit of good old Quirrel-intimidation. Unfortunately, that doesn't end very well either.
|15||The Mirror of Erised
Severus and Dumbledore transport the Mirror, and Severus discovers something very interesting about the Philosopher's Stone...
|16||The Love Doctor is In...Trouble
Our leading man dabbles in student love lives. And makes an interesting discovery about McGonagall.
|17||The Hogwarts Zoo
One eventful day, filled with love animals, real animals, and, of course, a mooing McGonagall. Also, our pulchritudinous narrator reveals a bit more about the undying romance between Argus Filch and Mrs. Norris. It is not actually that funny. More like a horror film.
|18||End With A Snape
The year comes to a close.
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