| Ch. # |
Chapter Title |
Word Count |
Reviews |
| 1 |
The Mad, Harry Beginning
Harry Potter comes to Hogwarts. And unfortunately there seems to be no way to stop him.
|
835 |
107 |
| 2 |
First Lesson and Ferreting
While unburdening the particulars of his first lesson with the Gryffindor First Years, Snape reminisces about, well, ferreting. . .
|
794 |
78 |
| 3 |
The Painters Are In
Something shameful happens, and Snape learns the facts of life.
|
1252 |
64 |
| 4 |
Shoe Shoppin' Snape
Everyone needs shoes. Severus Snape is no exception.
|
1015 |
57 |
| 5 |
Quidditch, Quirrel, and Quarrels
Potter gets onto the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and other catastrophes.
|
1135 |
46 |
| 6 |
The Fluffy Halloween Fiasco
A troll gets into the dungeons. Snape runs after some socks. Naturally, it is all Harry Potter's fault.
|
2129 |
53 |
| 7 |
This Snape is Bananas
A professor must have some educational way to amuse himself...
|
1148 |
46 |
| 8 |
Composure, Curses, and, of course, Conniptions
Snape saves Harry's life. But will he forgive himself? He also has an important conversation with Dumbledore...and catches McGonagall at something mildly shocking...
|
1795 |
35 |
| 9 |
Love, Hormones, and Other Household Pests
"Death I can face, pain I can handle, but teenage romance—that and bubblegum flavored ice cream—can put me off food for days. And I'm not much for Filch's singing voice either. Or smiling."
|
1810 |
36 |
| 10 |
Holiday Havoc and Christmas Cavorting
Severus basks in the Christmas spirit.
|
2164 |
50 |
| 11 |
Quirrel v. Grease Lightning
Our feminist hero fails to expell Harry Potter, and then takes a long, solitary walk...with Quirrel.
|
2062 |
36 |
| 12 |
Middle Aged Women
What does Trelawney See? Why is Severus required to write poetry and learn how to ride a broomstick? And why, for Goodness' sake, why is McGonagall's hat fireproof?
|
1713 |
42 |
| 13 |
Love Letters, Poetry, Well-Timed Insults, and Other Literature
Our Great Narrator sees a little too much of Harry Potter. And then has some writing to do.
|
1881 |
44 |
| 14 |
Snape the Ref
Severus has a bit of trouble referreeing the game, and makes himself feel better with a bit of good old Quirrel-intimidation. Unfortunately, that doesn't end very well either.
|
1447 |
41 |
| 15 |
The Mirror of Erised
Severus and Dumbledore transport the Mirror, and Severus discovers something very interesting about the Philosopher's Stone...
|
1058 |
45 |
| 16 |
The Love Doctor is In...Trouble
Our leading man dabbles in student love lives. And makes an interesting discovery about McGonagall.
|
2216 |
38 |
| 17 |
The Hogwarts Zoo
One eventful day, filled with love animals, real animals, and, of course, a mooing McGonagall. Also, our pulchritudinous narrator reveals a bit more about the undying romance between Argus Filch and Mrs. Norris. It is not actually that funny. More like a horror film.
|
2299 |
26 |
| 18 |
End With A Snape
The year comes to a close.
It is mildly unpleasant.
|
2998 |
56 |
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