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I'm Not Neurotic! The Diary of Hermione Granger by Hermione_Crookshanks

Rating: 15+ 
Story Reviews: 1688
Chapters: 20
Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna, Ginny, OtherCanon
Genre(s): Humor, Romance, AU
Era: Hogwarts
Pairings: Harry/Hermione, Ron/Luna, Ginny/OC, Harry/OC, Hermione/OC
 
Status: Completed
First Published: 2005.12.28
Last Published Chapter: 2006.08.10
Last Updated: 2006.08.10

Favorite Story Of: 447 users
Warnings: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature

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Now a Seventh Year and Head Girl, Hermione relays her life in the diary given to her by Harry: from Harry sneaking into her bathroom (and just acting odd), Head Girl duties, NEWTs, and hormones, to Ginny setting Hermione up in hopes of making her less neurotic, Hermione's life is slowly slipping out of her control. COMPLETED.
Dobby Awards Finalist ~ Best Humor Fic
.
Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 They Finally Remembered my Birthday (Gits)

AU. Now a Seventh Year and Head Girl, Hermione relays her life in the diary given to her by Harry: from Harry sneaking into her bathroom (and just acting altogether odd), Head Girl duties, NEWTs, and hormones, to Ginny setting Hermione up in hopes of making her less neurotic, Hermione's life is slowly slipping out of her control.

3059 179
2 Insanity is the New "It" Word

Chapter Two

1595 65
3 "It's This Harry...This Harry...This Harry Predicament!"

Chapter Three

1604 74
4 Just Some Game

Chapter Four

2980 95
5 Lacking a Confidante

Now a Seventh Year and Head Girl, Hermione relays her life in the diary given to her by Harry: from Harry sneaking into her bathroom to Ginny setting Hermione up in hopes of making her less neurotic, Hermione's life is slowly slipping out of her control. Excerpt: "Me? In love with Harry? No, no way. Not possible. Not at all. Finally, I managed to regain the ability to speak. 'You're just trying to set me up with the first guy you see,' I retorted. 'No, with the first guy who sees you, Hermione.'"

2451 73
6 Absolutely, Without a Doubt, Messed Up

The Sixth Chapter - Hermione confesses to Ginny about her feelings for Harry, only to learn some surprising and heartbreaking news in return. "'Of course I don't listen to gossip!' I scoffed. 'It's absolutely point– wait, hear what?' I asked cautiously.... Ginny didn’t say anything for a second, then she closed her eyes and said, 'Harry has a girlfriend.' 'W-what?' I sputtered. 'A girlfriend…but he…he didn’t have one yesterday.'"

2675 86
7 Enter the Energizer Bunny

Ginny and Lavender make-over an unwilling Hermione in an attempt to make her presentable for her date with Terry. "'I honest-to-Merlin despise you sometimes,' I informed Ginny. 'The hate is all worth it,' Ginny smiled. 'Especially when you see the result of it all.' A loud banging sounded from outside. 'That must be Lavender!' Ginny exclaimed, overly chipper. 'Great,' I groaned. 'The energizer bunny.'"

2599 53
8 The Date AKA Harry Goes Ballistic Day

Hermione goes on her date with Terry, but all does not go expectantly, thanks to a certain raven-haired friend... Excerpt: “Hermione!” I heard a familiar voice call angrily from behind me. I swallowed. The voice was too familiar. Turning around, I placed a nervous smile on my face. “Hello there, Harry,” I said, giving a small wave. “Parvati.” Parvati was staring up, quite as anxious as myself, at a seething Harry. To my right, Terry was giving me a look that plainly said, “You never went out, huh?”

2879 55
9 Get It Through Your Head: Not My Harry

Harry confronts Hermione about Terry once more, while Ginny confronts Hermione about another male... Excerpt: “How long are you going to let him think you have feelings for him – lead him on?” Ginny glowered at me. “I’m not leading Terry on!” I said immediately, in a rushed voice, knowing fully well that, that might just be the case. Ginny stared at me for a second. “Not Terry, you prat,” she said impatiently. “My brother.”

1276 64
10 Off the Deep End

Hermione has her talk with Ron, and also realizes that she's over Harry...now if only she could convince Ginny. Excerpt: "'How are you?' I asked, clapping my hands together. 'I'm okay,' Ron replied slowly. 'You?' 'Good, good,' I responded distractedly. Silence followed for a couple of minutes until Ron finally asked, 'Is this all you wanted to do out here, because you're giving Seamus an advantage in our argument, and I—' 'No!' I said quickly. 'There's more, it's just…'"

3342 97
11 Ginny's Out of the Game

“I’m just not used to Harry having a girlfriend,” I continued coolly. “That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.” “Hermione Jane Granger,” Ginny growled at me, standing up so that she towered over me. “I am absolutely sick of this!” “Sick of what, exactly?” I countered, standing up myself. “I am sick of your petty excuses!” Ginny cried out, flinging up her hands in frustration. “Honestly! Either get over him or dump Terry and tell Harry how you feel! I don’t care which one you choose, but just choose one, because I have had it up to here!”

1533 69
12 A Lack of Subtlety

The 12th Chapter. Hermione asks Ron for his help, and immediately regrets it. Excerpt: “Be subtle,” I told him. “Be subtle as if your life depended on it. I cannot have Harry thinking anything is up.” “Subtle?” Ron gave a small laugh. “Me? No problem.” I stared at Ron for a minute and thought about what he had just said. “On second thought,” I said quickly, “maybe I should get Dean…” “Hey!” Ron exclaimed, looking insulted. “I can be subtle. Just watch. I'll be so subtle you won't know what hit you.” “I bet I will,” I muttered, as I realized my mistake in entrusting Ron with this job.

2796 70
13 Detention for Four, Please

Chapter 13, where Hermione realizes that your feelings will always return, and that she needs to get better at planning detentions. Excerpt: “I just…I was really stressed out, and I took it out on her,” I said quickly. “A little strange that you took it out on my girlfriend, isn’t it?” Harry replied. I gave a short laugh. “You’re one to talk, Mr. Fight With My Boyfriend All the Time.” “I do not!” Harry replied sharply. “Oh, come on, Harry,” I laughed at him. “Potions? There was more tension in there than between you and Malfoy! What’s going on?” “He just annoys me, that’s all."

2726 68
14 Disaster Strikes in the Form of a Picnic

AU. Now a Seventh Year and Head Girl, Hermione relays her life in the diary given to her by Harry: from Harry sneaking into her bathroom (and just acting altogether odd), Head Girl duties, NEWTs, and hormones, to Ginny setting Hermione up in hopes of making her less neurotic, Hermione's life is slowly slipping out of her control. Excerpt: "“Well it bothers me,” Terry said tersely. “And I'm no fool Hermione.” “What are you talking about?” I asked him, blinking in confusion. “I know that I can't date you so long as you're with Harry,” Terry informed me briskly. "Are we breaking up?"

6063 64
15 In For a Date, Out For a Chess Piece

“Why on earth would you need a chess piece? And why did you have to drag me all the way here to ask me?” Harry questioned me. “That's a good question,” I replied, stalling for time. “I brought you here because I thought Ron might pull a, er, Ron, and make fun of me.” “For asking for a chess piece?” “It is Ron…” I said lamely, already feeling horrid for using Ron. “And why exactly do you need a chess piece?” Harry continued questioning me. “I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for that!” I exclaimed eagerly. “Would you care to share it with me?” Harry asked.

2922 67
16 Dress Robes, Chocolate, and Harry, Oh My!

“Would anyone care to inform me what in the name of Merlin is going on here?” I asked finally, unable to take another of those sickeningly sweet looks that were so horribly uncharacteristic of Ginny. “Nothing’s going on,” Harry replied quickly. “You’re lying,” I informed him, setting my book down. “Well aren’t you Miss No-Nonsense?” Ginny giggled. “I’m sorry that I find it suspicious that you two are exchanging the weirdest looks imaginable,” I proclaimed, fuming.

3207 81
17 Luna's Added into the Mix

“Hi Luna!” Ron beamed, giving her a light peck on the cheek. Harry and I exchanged a look that clearly said, “When did this happen?” “You two…” Harry began. “…are going out?” I finished. “We are,” Luna replied, as Ron blushed. “I assume you two are as well.” She looked expectantly at us, her huge eyes bearing into our own. “No!” Harry and I exclaimed at the same time as Ron smirked.

2258 66
18 The Ball - Part I

What you've all waited for. The Ball is finally here, along with the beginning of the end. "I shook my head in disbelief, and then something occurred to me. “Ron, who are you going to the ball with if Luna’s not here?” For some reason or another Ron’s eyes grew wide, but he quickly recovered. “Oh, er, just some…some girl,” he said casually. “So, did you see that article about the Cannons?” “What girl?” I prodded. “I read that it’s predicted that they just might make the semi-finals this year.” “Ronald, what girl?” I persisted, banging my silverware down on the table in frustration.

3277 114
19 The Ball Part II

The final half of the Ball.

3065 84
20 Epilogue

The final chapter! Excerpt: Harry took it from me and began flipping through the pages. A smile played onto his lips until he finally burst out in laughter. “What?” I demanded immediately. “What’s so funny?” “‘While I’m at it,’” he read from the diary, “‘convince the three mentioned above that I am not neurotic.’” “What’s so funny about that?” I asked him. “You are neurotic,” he told me. “That’s what’s so funny. You couldn’t have disproved them if you tried.” “I could too!” I insisted, rather insulted. “No you couldn’t,” came Hailey’s voice as she passed by the room.

2760 164



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