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Chapter 45 : Chapter 45 - Temporary Forgiveness
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YAY!!! Everyone, this is like the second longest chapter I have ever written!! I can't believe it! over 3000 words.. its not that ahrd to write that much for me, just not getting impatient and wanting to update.. i am sorry that the last chapter wasn't that good. this is to make up for it! and thankyou to all my loverly reviews! this chapter is dedicated to u!!! Mwah!! anyways i cant belive it, at the the moment i ave 799 reviews.. u guys are amazing, i cant believe you! please make it 800 sometime!! haha lol.. anyways i hope you all love this chapter, it explains a lot... though ends up really where it started.. haha.. lol oh and i have to go to bed now.. i am not meant to be on here at the moment.. so Hey Ho!! haha
ta ta guys.. love you all!
lotsa love Iced_Cherriez
I am so sorry! It was not what it looked like. Remus please talk to me!
Harry and I had a fight... I called him and arrogant brat. I am sorry Remus! Charlie was just comforting me. Please don’t ignore me...
Tonks had had enough. She ripped up the letter and threw it into the fire. That was third letter she had sent that day, the third one that had come straight back to her. Where was he? Why couldn't the owl get it to him.
The Christmas holidays were finally over, and the students were due on the train at 11 o’clock that morning. She didn’t think Harry was going to make it. He had hardly packed anything the night before, having been in a fight with her, and was now so exhausted he didn't even move when Mrs Weasley noisily came to wake the boys up.
She pulled her pen and paper towards her and tried to write again to Remus, but upon not knowing where he was at the moment, she wasn't sure that her old owl would reach him. Asking Harry if she could use Hedwig was not something she wanted to do at the time being, so she just left her things and walked out of the room.
She needed to get back to Remus’s place. She knew he wasn’t there because all the letters she had sent, with his address on them were returned. She made it her duty to get Harry’s things together so that he would be ready for school. Most of his stuff was in his trunk in his room back at the flat.
She closed her eyes and apparated back to the flat, landing on the soft carpet rug in the living room.
“Remus?” She called softly, but there was no answer. She looked around and wondered if Remus had taken Sirius, or Sirius II, or if he was still back at the headquarters. She hadn't seen the little wolferine very much in the last few days, maybe it had spent all its time in the back garden.
She slowly walked into Harry’s room and closed the door behind her. She sighed and walked over to his trunk, which was almost neatly packed already.
She didn't think he would mind if she did a bit of snooping around, or at least he wouldn’t mind if he didn’t know. She pulled a few robes and cloaks out of his trunk and looked into the bottom of it. This was where Harry kept most of his treasures. But there was nothing there. She frowned and noticed that the trunk had a key hanging out of it. Attached to the key ring was another key, in a different colour. She pulled them out and examined them in interest.
Harry’s trunk had two compartments. She hastily put the second key into the lock and turned it till it made a small click. It had worked.
Carefully she pulled up the top of the trunk, which she noticed had nice engravings on the top, one of a Phoenix and the other, Harry’s initials. What met her was a magnificent site, a small wooden set of stairs came from the top of the trunk, running down into the blackness of the room below.
She pulled herself through the opening and down the small staircase. She tried to do it as quietly as possible, but, as everyone knew, silly Nymphadora Tonks was very clumsy. She tripped on the last step and went head first into the floor. Suddenly the fire in the fire place lit up and she could see her surroundings.
She wanted to cry. Shelves were full of Defence books, Harry’s small desk was covered in papers, full of writing and notes. She knew these were not his school books, because they were upstairs on his other desk. Books scattered the floor, and a tired creeper plant covered the wall around the window. Notes of spells, charms and whatnot were spread over a mat, next to a few cushions which were set up ready for training.
A black board covered a small portion of one of the walls. Lists of spells which Harry had, or was yet to cover were written over it. Notes of what to work on, notes of what was best used in duelling. there was a small section which was title, simply, ‘Voldemort’, which many difficult curses Harry had seemed to have mastered were written.
This is where Harry had come to train. She did not know how often, but it seemed that in the past year, behind everyone's backs, Harry Potter had turned into something more powerful than imaginable. She read over some of the curses again. Some of them she didn't know, but the others, they were well past her level, past any auror level.
She walked over to the desk and noticed a few pieces of sharp glass. She gasped, but on closer inspection she noticed that there was no dried blood or anything of that sort. But why did Harry had pieces of glass on his desk. She tried not to think of a reason, but then saw where it had come from.
The glass’s source was a small cracked mirror. She pulled out her wand and fixed it in a second, then picked it up from under some books and examined the small thing. It looked almost magical, but she couldn't quite put it. She turned the mirror to the back and examined it closely, a small note was written on. When she saw who it was written by, her eyes swelled with tears. Sirius.
She placed it back down and noticed another piece of paper. The reason it stood out so well was because it was so tear drenched.
She picked it up and walked over to a small chair in front of the fire and sat down to read it.
I know you are gone, but if I leave this on my desk, maybe one day you will read it. I don’t know what has become of me. I know I have Remus, Tonks, Hermione, the Weasleys, but without you, life isn’t the same. I have no real family left. The Dursleys don’t want me anymore and when Tonks and Remus have their baby, I will be put into the shadows once again.
I don’t see a reason to live anymore, Sirius. Except the biggest reason anyone could have. I have to save the world. It is my job to save everyone from Voldemort. The one thing that makes me not want to live. I know I have friends, but everything seems more distant at the moment, I can’t reach out and tell them anything at the moment. They know the prophecy, but I am afraid they will be scared of me. That they won’t want to talk to me anymore.
Sirius what have I become?
Tonks slowly pulled the letter away from her face and stared off to the ceiling. What had Harry Potter become. A living breathing weapon? He wished he could die, but the only way that could happen was if he betrayed the world of good. She could feel the tears fall freely from her face and tried not to think of the two males that occupied her life. Neither of them were talking to her. It seemed like they both wanted to die at the moment. It wasn’t fair for her.
She placed the letter on the desk, only hoping that maybe Sirius would find it. Maybe he would make everything better once and for all.
After a big discussion at Grimmauld place, Mrs Weasley finally gave in and it was decided that Harry would only go back to school when he felt up to it.
The others were off in the train and Tonks was due back to the castle. She had packed the rest of Harry’s things away and brought them all back to number 12, where she quietly laid everything outside Harry’s room.
Then she got busy with her own packing. Seeing that she could just floo back to the castle meant that she had all the time in the world, while all the students where on the train. The train ride from Kings Cross took almost the entire day, so she could arrive at four in the afternoon and it wouldn’t make a difference.
She pulled all her things into her own trunk and checked the flat for anything that she had missed. She then noticed that Remus’s wasn’t there, but remember that he had packed so he could stay at Grimmauld place with Harry. So much for staying.
She apparated back to the headquarters and checked the time, two o'clock. Maybe she could go back to the castle now, meet some of the teachers. The year before, seeing that it had just been New Year, all the teaching staff had learnt that Madame Hooch was taking the rest of the school year off. She was going to travel the world, following different Quidditch teams on a quest to see a great match. The staff would learn of the new Quidditch teacher once the term began, which meant that if she went early she might able to meet him or her and make a good first impression.
She sighed humorously. She was never very good at first impressions. She remembered when she first met Remus, at the Headquarters. She had just fallen down the stairs. Funny how he asked what she did and was very surprised when she said she was an auror, and auror who was sitting on the floor with a soar arse. Laughing was something she didn’t want to do too often these days, but she could never live without it.
Good moments in life always make people feel better. She smiled to herself, not wanting to think about the reality of it all. She didn’t want her baby to grow up fatherless, so now she was on a mission, a mission to win back two, not one, people’s hearts. She would have to start with Harry.
She held onto her belonging and flooed back to her office, the little quant one at Hogwarts, which was said to be cursed.
Her office was just how she had left it. Neat and cluttery. Her desk was covered in unmarked essays from weeks before, but even though they were all over her desk, they were in little neat piles which made no sense. She smiled and pulled a small book out of one of the bookcases. None of the students knew about this, but every teacher had a secret passage way that led to their quarters. She pulled her trunk and bags along with her and opened a door to her room. She set it down and smiled weakly at her self in the mirror.
The rest of the day was spent walking around the castle and the grounds. She did not know where she was going, or why she was walking for that matter, but it felt good to be back at Hogwarts. She walked round to the pitch and noticed a lone figure watching her from a room near the change rooms. That must have been the new Quidditch coach. She smiled and walked across the pitch to meet him, it was a him wasn't it?
Then she stopped dead in her tracks. Standing in front of her was the main reason that Remus wasn’t talking to her. The main reason he had run away. Charlie Weasley smiled his most charming smile and waved her over to him. She reluctantly walked the rest of the grassed area over to him.
“Charlie, what a surprise.” She said. Tonks tried to sound happy, but she didn’t think it worked.
“Tonks, it is wonderful to see you again.” He placed an arm around her shoulders and looked her in the eyes again. “I was just on my way back to the castle for a spot of afternoon tea, would you care to join me?”
If Tonks had thought better she would have reclined it, but her head was stuffy and all she needed was to sit down. If she had known better, Charlie Weasley had practically asked her on a date. Which was quite a scary reality for her. Charlie did not know about Remus and Tonks. He must have had no idea what so ever, or he was naive to notice their romance.
Tonks reluctantly followed under Charlie’s arm and watched as he tried to chat charmingly at her.
Please don't do this to me! You are one of the only things that matter to me, you and Harry. I can’t live without you two. What about our child?
Nothing happened between Charlie Weasley and I, I repeat nothing happened. Please Remus, please come back. I am not cure where you are, but I am going to try everywhere I know till this letter comes to you.
I want you back, I want my dear werewolf back. You helped me understand what having a real life is like. I can never thankyou enough.
But please Remus come back, help me!
Remus stared at the letter in his hands. He could feel his eyes watering and his throat burning. He just hoped she was telling the truth. But what happened to Harry? She made is sound like they weren't talking as well.
He set the letter down on the bench in a small room at the leaky cauldron. They front of the envelope had different names of places scribbled out in it. There were names of places all over London and Hogsmeade where Wizard and Witches would stay. The last one, the one that wasn’t scribbled out was the leaky cauldron, probably one of the most obvious. She wasn’t thinking straight, that was for sure. Maybe she really did need him.
He pulled his calico bag back onto his shoulder and strode out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Placing the key and a few sickles and galleons on the counter, he made his was towards to unoccupied fireplace.
“Hogwarts, Defence Office” He said calmly and felt himself fly away in a sick coloured green fire.
Meanwhile Charlie had invited himself back to Tonks’s office, in hopes of something more than afternoon tea.
They talked for a while about this and that. Well actually Charlie talked, or bragged about how good he was at playing Quidditch when he was younger, when he was at Hogwarts. She had remembered Charlie when he was playing, but he wasn’t nearly as good as Harry was.
She then listened to his stories about Dragons in Romania, about how many times he had come close to death, and yet again Tonks found herself comparing his to Harry.
She hardly got a word into the conversation. The while time she tried to tell him about her relationship with Remus, but he didn’t seem to want to listen.
Charlie was a good bloke, people shouldn’t get this wrong, but he just needed to know something before he tried to throw himself into a relationship, especially with a yet to be married girl.
He just needed to let other people talk once in a while.
She busied herself pulling on and off her small engaged meant ring, hoping he would notice it, but yet again, he was telling her about his encounter with a Hungarian Horntail, when he was looking after them at Hogwarts before the Tri Wizard Tournament. The one that Harry had fought. He glanced down at her ring on her finger and commented on how pretty it was, before telling her another tail.
After a while Tonks grew more and more uncomfortable with him in the room. She remembered that she used to have a crush on Charlie, when they first came to the headquarters, but after spending some time with him, she learnt he wasn’t really his type. Charlie had been quite unlucky with love as it seemed, most of his girl friends had cheated or dumped him in a bad way, so she didn’t blame him trying to be extra nice to her.
Suddenly there was a flash of green fire and she felt someone’s lips firmly against hers.
Her eyes widened in horror as she could see the red head in front of her, and her fiancé out of the corner of her eyes. He stormed out before she had time to react.
She hastily pulled away and moved her hand to slap Charlie on the face.
“Hey!” He complained. He pulled his hand up to face and felt the red place where she has slapped him. Tonks was a nice person, but she could change into anyone, which meant she could have the fiery temper of a red-head as well as the toughness of a man.
“No, don’t ‘hey’ me! I am getting married Charlie, I thought you knew, I am having a baby! What are you trying to do?” Charlie’s eyes widened in fear. Tonks’s hair was growing red in anger, but after what he said next, it changed back to its normal, white, colour. Her eyes changed briefly to red as well, but they looked hideous compared to her natural ones.
“Oh Tonks! I am so sorry!” His look of clear regret seemed to calm her down, but her fear of what Remus would do now was taking hold of her. He put his head in his hands as a form of embarrassment.
“I have to go.” She said. He tried to apologise again, but she waved it off, only smiling. But deep down, she was not smiling, far from it. If Remus reacted so badly when Charlie was comforting her, then what would he do now? She only wished he would be okay.
She stood up and grabbed her jacket. This was going to be a long night, and finding Remus was the least of her worries, what to say when she found him, that was another thing.
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