Ron quickly headed towards the library, his note in his hand, a broad grin on his face. No one can ruin his plans now.
He walked into the library, being the only one there, other than Madam Pince, and walked up to Madam Pince herself, giving her the note with “Professor McGonnogall’s” signature on it.
“Hmm, ‘Most Potente Potions?’” she asked, reading the note. “Why is it every time I have let this book being borrowed, it’s either from you or one of your two friends?”
Ron shrugged in confusion. He really didn’t have any time for Pince’s quirks.
“Well, go in,” she said. “And don’t take your time or I’ll have you kicked out.”
“I’ll take all the time I want, bitch,” Ron muttered under his breath as he entered the forbidden section of the library. Pince looked at him as if she had heard him, but shrugged him off.
“Let’s see,” Ron said, going through the shelves that had books starting with the letter ‘M.’ “Most Potente Potions, Most Potente Potions... Here we go!”
He took out the book from its shelf and put it on a desk. He found the page on Love Potions and went through the ingredients.
It was perfect! Most of the ingredients were from the students’ cabinet while only a couple of items were from Snape’s cabinet.
‘Ha!’ Ron thought. ‘I know exactly how to get through old hooked nose’s cabinet!’
“Dear Fred and George,” Ron said out loud as he wrote. “Hmm.... What to write? What to write?”
The question was really ‘How should I put it?’ but Ron was just too big of a dumbass at the moment to even care.
Then, all of a sudden, with a look that made it look like he found the cure to all diseases with no cure, Ron started writing his letter down, knowing word to word what to write.
Finally, he came up with the perfect letter to write to his twin brothers:
Dear Fred and George,
I was wondering if you can send me some Dungbombs so I can use them on Snape. I just want to see the look on his face when I bomb him with them. I hope you can give them to me.
Your Brother,
Ron
Ron reread the letter and a broad grin appeared on his face. He thought it was perfect... considering the standards of writing a letter to Fred and George, who’ll give you anything if you want to use it on someone they hated. Now, all he had to do was wait.
The next morning, Ron got his answer: The family owl Errol came with a package with an envelope on it. It dropped it right on Ron’s hands when he wasn’t looking to see if his letter was answered.
Tears almost formed in Ron’s eyes as he pushed the package off of him. He looked at his hands, which were now swollen red.
‘Oh, this is nice,’ he thought, sarcastically.
“Well, you’re an idiot and don’t pay attention. Bye for now!” That little voice in his head returned and left.
‘One day when I find out who that voice belongs to, I’m going to kill that little motherfucker!’ Ron thought, angrily, his insides feeling as if they were burning up.
Ron tore the envelope off of the package and read the letter inside:
Dear Ron,
Here are your Dungbombs! Too bad we couldn’t see the look on Snape’s face when you hit him with these! Good luck!
From,
Fred and George
P.S. We welcome you to the club of Weasley Mischief Brothers! Sorry we couldn’t give you a ceremony, but what are you going to do? Now, here’s the real goodbye! Bye!
A broad grin appeared on Ron’s face as he put the package under his seat until he was done eating. Nothing could interrupt his eating, even if it meant his life depended on him to stop eating at the moment, which is so stupid to do.
When he finished eating, Ron took the package from under his desk and ran out of the Great Hall. He ran as fast as he could to his first period, which was Potions.
This had to be the best day of his life. Everything was coming so easily that nothing could ruin it for him.
Ron was the first in Potions, sitting in the back corner alone so no one would see him bomb Snape with the Dungbombs. Then, he decided to add more to his plan: How about he bomb other kids so Snape would be distracted? That would be perfect!
“Wow, you thought that up all on your own, genius?” the voice was back... once again. “That’s what you should have just decided from the start, arse!”
‘Well, sorry!’ Ron thought as the rest of the class filed in. ‘But, I was just being a little slow at the moment! I didn’t think of that!’
“Sure,” the voice said. “Well, here comes your teacher, the crooked-nose git. Have fun!”
And the voice was right as Snape himself walked through the doors of his office and up to his chalkboard.
“Let’s just get right down to business,” he said, simply, writing down the words Polyjuice Potion. “Today, we’ll be learning about the Polyjuice Potion. Now, who knows what that is?”
Only Harry and Hermione raised their hands. Ron knew, of course, but he didn’t give a shit about the crappy Polyjuice Potion anyway. He just wanted to get Snape.
“Yes, Ms. Granger?” Snape asked, reluctantly.
“The Polyjuice Potion allows the drinker to transform into the physical form of another for one hour,” Hermione said.
“... Good,” Snape said, walking back to the chalkboard. “Here are the ingredients, which I suggest you write down because for homework, you will have to write an essay explaining each and every detail of the Polyjuice Potion.”
Then, he started writing down the ingredients, when – BAM!
Snape was covered in dung as Ron started chucking the Dungbombs at Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, and the Slytherins. No one ever saw Ron throw them.
“Who was that?” Snape spun around angrily and snarled. “I want to know this instant! And when I found out who did it, they will get a month’s worth of detention!”
No one said anything. All the Gryffindors were smiling and trying to stifle laughs.
“No one, eh?” Snape said. “Fine! Now, when I do find out who it is, it’ll be two month’s detention! Now, anyone who got covered in dung, come up to me and I’ll clean you off.”
All the Slytherins lined up in front of Snape and that’s when Ron made his move: He quietly walked into Snape’s office and took the ingredients he needed, which were hard to find since they were all over the place.
When Ron came back, all the Slytherins were clean and Snape was cleaning himself, now. The Gryffindors were smiling even more now because Snape finally got what he deserved.
At lunchtime, Ron immediately ran into the girls’ bathroom on the second floor, which was still “out of order.” He laid out all his ingredients (yes, he got the ingredients from the students’ cabinets, but that was so unimportant to the plot we just didn’t even need to say that he got them) and opened the Most Potente Potions book. He was about to put the first ingredients in the cauldron when –
“Who’s there?” Ron turned to see Moaning Myrtle, the ghost that “haunts” this bathroom poking her head out. Then, she gasped and said, “You’re that boy, who was with Harry Potter making that Polyjuice Potion, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, what’s it to you?” Ron snapped, really wanting Myrtle to go away.
“What are you doing?” Myrtle asked, curiously.
“I’m making a Potion, that’s what I’m doing,” Ron snapped, turning away from Myrtle.
“What kind?”
“That’s none of your damn business!”
But, Ron forgot Myrtle was a ghost, which meant that she could just look right through him to see what he was doing. And that’s what she did.
Ron jumped back in shock, clutching his chest, feeling his heart beating rapidly. Myrtle just scared the shit out of him and he felt as if he were going to die and join her, which he hoped didn’t happen because he didn’t want to spend an eternity with a bitch like her.
“A Love Potion?” Myrtle read. “Those are illegal at Hogwarts! I could just go tell Professor Dumbledore right now!”
“No, please!” Ron pleaded as Myrtle headed towards the door.
“And why not?” Myrtle asked.
“Because I’ll make a deal with you,” Ron said, smiling, getting an idea. “When I’m done with this Potion, I’ll let you see Harry Potter! I know how much you like him!”
“R-Really?” Myrtle asked. Ron shook his head, causing Myrtle to do back flips in the air, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Myrtle tried putting her arms around Ron but realized she’s dead and stopped at the last moment. Then, she went back in her toilet and Ron didn’t hear from her for the rest of the time he was in the bathroom.
‘Like I’d really let you see that traitor, bitch,’ Ron thought, smiling, as he continued working on the Potion.
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