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I Never Existed by Healer_25
Chapter 1 : I Never Existed
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I Never Existed By Healer_25

“I’m sick of it, sick of it all.”

A ravened haired boy paced around his room, his actions were similar to that of a caged animal, seeking release, violent to the core with the frustration of helplessness.

He turned quickly towards the owl, almost violently he reached out towards the white snowy bird.

“I’m going to stop it all Hedwig, I swear it, I’m not going to play the fool anymore, not again.”

His Hedwig, the only friend he had, hooted in agreement, she was free of her cage but instead of hunting she watched from his dresser sensing his frustration, his need to be free.

“I won’t let him take anyone else, not again.”

The boy looked up at his bird, rage streamed from his emerald eyes, the anger, the pain it all radiated like a dark ominous aura. Earlier that night he had received news that the Weasly family, his only true family left, had been caught unaware and were tortured and then killed by Voldermort himself, he actually risked his life to get back at Harry, it was all Harry's fault. He stopped for a moment and looked down at his hands.

Last summer he had a chance to finish this all, Voldermort had asked one simple thing, if Harry could kill someone anyone, then he would let himself be taken down. Of course Harry didn't believe it, but now he felt guilty, if he had given in to this temptation then he could have died, he could have killed. He could have done so many things!


Harry kicked the edge of the bed violently. He was useless, so bloody uselss. Not only had Ron been forced to witness this tragedy but later at St. Mungo's he couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't live without his family. The letter Harry had thrown to the floor and was walking on was a letter from the director. While whole in body Ron's soul and mind had fled, in his last attempt he cast the death curse on a mirror which took his life.

Hermione had been attacked as well, this note had come from Lupin and her parents, she had been working in a small retail store, she never had a chance, she didn't even have her wand on her.

"What was she thinking! Its a war! We are at WAR!"

Harry yelled for a moment, breathing hard he looked at the timeturner they had sent to him. Hermione's parents begged him to find a way to bring back their baby girl, she was so young, so beautiful, so talented. There were many things Hermione was, and Ron's love, Her love, they were all gone. Harry looked around except for Hedwig he was alone. He started pacing again, shaking his head, stopping every few minutes to swear and cry intermittently.

“So many people Hedwig! So many, all my friends, family everyone.”

Harry stopped his paces again, noticing that it was just before Hedwig he reached over and patted her on the head, his last friend. He looked out the open window and saw the stars. He heard a whistling noise rushing towards him, Hedwig glanced up at him nipped him on the finger one last time she knew what was coming her eyesight was better than his. She took flight and managed to fly just in front of Harry, catching the long arrow that had been cast at Harry. In the moonlight he saw it pierce her through, her wings stretched out and a garbled cry echoed out into the night.

“Hedwig No!!”

Harry screamed out to her in pain and frustration, he caught her falling body, still from the arrow, it had pierced true. She was his last friend his little girl, his only comfort, she had died to save him, why does everyone do that! Harry started to cry just a little he went to lay his last friend on the bed, sitting down he noticed the timeturner, glinting off the blood of Hedwig.

“I’m not going to forget you, and I’ll find you again, don’t you worry Hedwig.”

Harry giggled just a little, he had finally lost his sanity, this was too much at once. He didn't care what happened to him as long as his friends were alive, he didn't care if he changed the entire course of events this was nothing compared to the loneliness that he felt now, that the world would feel. He picked up the turner violently, flipping it more and more, he flipped it further and further, faster and faster. The world began to swim around him, so quickly and fast he could barely see anything. When the spinning had stopped he was in a shell of a house, the house he’d grown up in hadn’t even been built yet. He saw a construction worker, he rushed over to him, jumping over random pieces of wood.

“Excuse me, where am I, what day is it?”

The man stood up and looked at Harry What the bloody hell is this bloke doing here...I could have sworn he wasn't here before.

Harry looked up at the dirty man wearing blue coveralls, pleading him to answer.

“Well young rascal you’re in England, aren’t you a bit daft. The day well lets see….I think it be April 1st 1972.”

Harry stared at the man, 40 years! That means Tom’s still in the orphanage… Harry thought for a moment trying to place how old he would be 5 years old! He wouldn’t be corrupt at all. Harry quickly ran off the construction site, fleeing the man, even if he called. Once he was far enough away he held up his wand praying that the Knight bus still ran back at this time. A gleaming Triple Decker bus pulled up in front of him.

“Hogwarts please.”

Harry quickly climbed on and laid down on a bed, within no time he arrived at the school. He ducked into the library and searched up the location of Tom Riddle. Harry found it quickly and dashed out of Hogwarts. He got back on the Knight bus and told them to step on it towards the orphanage. Harry walked into the room that little Tom Riddle was confined to, he saw the little boy playing on the ground by himself, and Harry raised his wand at him and shouted

“Avada Kervada.”

A shot of green spun quickly towards Tom, who turned to see the spell, it hit him and he fell over, like a doll, dead. The workers at the orphanage ran over to where the little boy lay dead and turned towards Harry, looking at him in disbelief, he turned the wand on himself and disappeared before their eyes.

For years after wards there were whispers at that orphanage that a child had died, or disappeared  in a green light. More fantastically was the young man who pointed a stick and disappeared as well!

Harry stood over a mountain crag where a little cut in the rock revealed a cavern inside he slowly went about building a hermits life.He realized that by destroying Tom Riddle the world would never have a Voldermort, and he would never be the boy who lived. He couldn't let himself destroy himself, the time paradox was to great.

~ 40 years later ~

Lilly and James proudly brought their oldest son to Diagon alley so that he could get his things for Hogwarts, it was his first year! They walked into the pet shop the last on the list, and only because Harry had been nice to his little sister and repaired her doll that the dog had chewed. Harry looked at all the different animals in the shop remembering that he could only have cat, rat, or owl he looked around. He saw a beautiful snow white owl and walked over to the cage.

“Hello there,”

Harry reached into the cage and pet the owl. Harry looked back at his mom who had been wandering, putting on his best face he said,

“Mom, I want this one, I’ll call her Hedwig, she’s perfect!”

Lily smiled at him, the owl was a bit expensive, but it was his first real pet, at least it could send letters.

“Alright, well we’ll get Hedwig then.”

Harry Potter walked out of the shop with his new pet and went to the hotel with his parents not as the boy who lived but as the young wizard of Lilly and James Potter, happy and content in his life as a normal Wizard.

~ The first Harry ~

When Harry turned 51 that year he realized that this would be his first year at school, no one recognized Harry anymore, and he had slowly reentered wizarding life. They asked little about his scar, and even less about his past. He watched in silence as his younger self, the happy one went to Diagon alley. It was greatly different from his own but it made him glad. Had he continued to watch Harry would have seen Ron and himself meeting up for a bit of ice cream before they had to go home.

The world was indeed a different place, the sacrifice was worth it all.

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